Chapter 18

I woke up with the sun beating down on my face and the smell of the nectar of the gods tantalizing my nose. Without opening my eyes I yelled to my best friend, "Lily, you made me coffee! I love you!"
"Well if I knew it would get that kind of reaction I would have made coffee hours ago!"
I jumped and turned around to see Sidney standing there holding two mugs of coffee.
"Good morning sunshine! I hope you don't mind but I helped myself to your coffee maker. I figured you might need some this morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Sid, what are you doing here? And how did you get in my house?" I was so confused.
"Geez Bekah, it really hurts that you don't even remember our first night together," he said pretending to act wounded.
"What do you mean 'our first night together'," I said completely serious.
"You really don't remember do you?"
"Vaguely. Refresh my memory," I said taking the mug of coffee from his outstretched hand and sitting down on a stool at the breakfast bar.
"You were supposed to call me when you got home..."
"And I did, didn't I?"
"You were going to but you didn't quite make it that far. You fell asleep on the couch with the phone in your hand and still wearing your coat and shoes. Sitting up I might add!"
"I did not!'
"You sure did! It was probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen."
I thought about this for a second. "Ok, but that still doesn't explain how you got in my house or what you're doing here this morning.
"Bekah, you couldn't even take your coat off, do you really think you remembered to lock your door? Anyways, I told you if you didn't call I was coming over here to check on you and I guess it's a good thing I did. Otherwise you'd still be sitting up on that couch with your coat on!"
"What exactly happened?" I asked reluctantly.
"Do you really think I would take advantage of an unconscious girl?" he asked faking hurt feelings.
"Must you be so sarcastic this early in the morning?"
"Absolutely! Pay back's a bitch isn't it?" he said laughing.
"Fair enough," I conceded, "but seriously?"
"Seriously, I just took your coat and shoes off and you curled up with your head on my lap and that was it. You were out like a light!"
"Oh Sid, I'm so sorry!"
"It's ok, I really didn't mind. Besides you were obviously in desperate need of sleep."
"And you stayed like that all night?" I asked feeling really bad. "That couldn't have been very comfortable for you."
"Actually, I can't remember a time when I felt more relaxed. I had a great sleep!"
"Now I really know you're full of shit!" I said.
"Hey, is that any way to talk to the guy who took care of you last night and made you coffee this morning?"
"You're right. Great coffee by the way! At least if this whole hockey thing doesn't work out you can have a career at Starbucks!"
"Ahhhh, there's that Bekah sarcasm I love!"
"Ok, in all seriousness, thank you."
"Buuuut?"
"No but, just thank you," I smiled.
We just sat in comfortable silence and drank our coffee for a few minutes.
"So how did you get a day off anyways?" he asked.
"Long story," I said.
"I have time."
"Well, Ive been trying to keep my mind off ... things lately, so I've been working alot of extra shifts, some of them doubles, and Lily suggested that I was going to run myself into the ground if I didn't take some time for myself."
"Lily sounds like a very smart girl."
"She's great! She's my best friend. Anyways, I realized that I have no Christmas shopping done so I asked one of the other nurses to take my shift today and she agreed, so that's my plan. I'm going to finish shopping for the boys."
"I love shopping for kids!"
"Really?"
"No not really, but I do still have to get something for my sister. I could really use a girl's perspective...would you mind some company?"
I started to get an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
"Uhh, I don't think that would be a very good idea," I said quickly. "I've already taken up too much of your time. You should really probably go, I'm sure you are very busy. Don't you have practise or something?" I was grasping at straws here.
"Actually we have an off day today. Why are you so freaked out Bekah?"
"Sidney, we have been over this. I don't think it's a good idea that we spend time together. Last night was a fluke. We both had rough days and it just kind of happened, but we need to get back to reality here."
"What happened to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Last night and this morning you've been so great. Your true personality was starting to come through, and then just like that," he snapped his fingers, "you're gone!" His voice sounded hurt and confused but he still managed a concerned tone. "What happened to you to make you so closed off and scared?" he said softly putting his hand on top of mine.
I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, and there was no way I was going to let him see me cry. My hurt turned to anger and frustration.
"Where the hell do you get off?" I asked with more than a hint of anger in my voice. "Don't presume to think that you have the first clue as to what my true personality is after one conversation in a parking lot!" I was so mad, mostly at myself for being in this situation. I knew there was going to be no holding back the tears. I felt the first one roll down my cheek and I turned away from him.
He came out from behind the counter and stood in front of me. He lifted my chin and gently wiped the tears away with his thumb. He cupped my face in his hands and made me look into his eyes.
"I wish I could make you believe that there is nothing you could say that will make me think any less of you," he said quietly. "I wish I could make you believe that everything will be ok, but all I can do is offer to listen and promise you that no matter what, I'm not going anywhere."
The tears flowed more freely now. I didn't know what to say to that, not that I could've said anything at that moment. I just collapsed into his arms and cried. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head.
"Bekah, you said something in your sleep last night. I'm almost afraid to ask, but does this have anything to do with David?"
I felt the colour drain from my face and I jerked myself out of Sidney's embrace. "Wh...what did you just say?" I asked in disbelief.
"Last night in your sleep you just kept saying 'David, please don't leave' over and over again. Is this David the one who hurt you so deeply?"
I tried to pull myself together as best I could, but him bringing up David's name really threw me for a loop. "You don't have any idea about what you're talking about," I said as calmly as I could.
"You're right, I don't because you keep shutting me out. Why don't you tell me and then maybe I can understand."
"You will never understand. David would never have hurt me and he is none of your business. You need to leave," I said sternly. "Now!"