It had been almost two weeks since I had left Sidney standing at the arena. He left me at least half a dozen messages every day that I had not returned. So far, he had not made any attempt to see me, and I was both relieved and a little disappointed. He had a brutal schedule, not only with games but with all his off ice responsibilities as well. I knew this was what it would be like when we decided to be together, and I was actually relieved he had something to occupy him so I could have the time to take a step back. I really wasn't trying to be a bitch, I just really needed the time to assess everything that had happened and exactly where it was going.
Things had happened very quickly with Sidney once I allowed myself to admit my feelings for him. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve and been an emotional person. My tendency was to jump in with both feet without thinking when I allowed myself to follow my heart and not my head. This was another reason I had chosen not to date. I allow myself to get caught up in the whirlwind and romance and forget to think logically. This is definitely what happened with Sid.
Could anyone blame me? Sidney was...well, what wasn't he? Handsome, honest, charming, strong, engaging, charismatic, mature beyond his years, very well mannered and very well spoken. He was genuine. Sure he was guarded, and as some would say, robotic in the public eye; always being careful with what he said, always giving a well rehearsed answer to any question. But if you were in his 'inner circle', you couldn't find a more honest, genuine loving and caring person. With Sidney, what you see is what you get. He didn't care about people and their troubles because he had to, he cared because his parents taught him to be empathetic. They had also taught him the importance of a strong work ethic and commitment to family and friends. One thing you knew if you were Sidney's friend, he was there for you always, no matter what.
But as close to perfect as he was, he did have his faults, and this is where my problem lied. Some of those faults he was in control of-like his temper; and some he was not-like the fact that he was a public figure with absolutely no privacy, whose every word and every move was scrutinized. It was a major step for me to finally open up and begin dating again, but it was a HUGE leap off the deep end to pick someone with such a life.
Of course this was the very thing I was battling with. All Sidney's wonderful qualities had enveloped my heart, overriding my logical brain that was telling me to run as fast and as far as I could. I banished the voice in my head that told me I was in no way ready to handle the kind of relationship I would have to have with Sidney; secretive and private, watching from the sidelines as he lived his dream, not to mention all the gossip that ultimately surrounded his personal life and not being able to claim him as my own. My heart assured my head that all Sid's wonderful qualities far outweighed the few negatives that came along with him.
But did they?
I was glad I had picked up some extra shifts at UPMC. Sid had just come back from another disappointing road trip where they had only won one of five and I knew his messages would soon resume. I knew he would not have taken the losses well, but it was confirmed when I had talked to Max after several of the games. Since my big night on the town, Max and I talked almost every other day. We talked about anything and everything you could think of and sometimes nothing at all, but never once did we talk about Sid. It was refreshing. I had talked to Marc on several occasions as well, at Sidney's urging I'm sure, and all he was interested in was fixing things between me and Sid. I loved Flower to death, but I just wasn't ready to go there.
This particular day I was working in the oncology department; not my favourite assignment but hey, it was only six hours. I was mostly assisting with patients that were there for post treatment check ups and was shocked when I opened the door to exam room three.
"Mario! What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing. I thought you worked at Children's?"
"Mainly, but I pick up extra shifts here when they need it. I like to keep busy."
"I am here for my yearly check up to make sure I'm still cancer free," he told me as he rolled up his sleeve so I could take his blood pressure.
"You have no idea how weird this is for me, standing here taking your blood pressure, which is slightly elevated by the way. Have you been under any stress lately?"
"You could say that," he chuckled. "Why is it weird for you?"
"Lift your shirt so I can listen to your lungs please. Because it's not like you're just any patient, you're like..."
"Your friend?"
"I was going to go for more like my hero, but yeah, I guess we are kinda friends aren't we? Your lungs sound clear. Now I'm going to listen to your heart."
"You realize that your relationship with Sid makes us more like family right?"
"Yeah well, you may want to rethink that statement. Your heart still hasn't stabilized?" I asked rather surprised.
"We haven't quite got it to where we'd like it to be. We're going to try different medications, which is why I'm going to say what I'm going to say now."
"Roll up your sleeve and I'll take your blood now," I directed. "I'm listening."
"Under normal circumstances I would never interfere in Sid's personal relationship, but this is not a normal circumstance."
A huge knot formed in my stomach and somehow I knew I was not going to like what Mario had to say. I was actually scared.
"We have not gotten my heartbeat to where it needs to be, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that means."
I shook my head silently.
"The doctor doesn't know how long it will take to get things under control, and until we do..."
"You can't play."
"I can't play."
I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach. I could barely breathe. I sat in the chair beside the exam table with the needle still in my hand. My idol, my hero, was sitting before me, a mere mortal, unable to play the game we loved. My heart was breaking.
"What are you going to do?" I asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
"Nat and I have talked about it and I'm going to retire."
I closed my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. Mario took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"It's okay Bekah, it's time. I've come to terms with ending my career. I can't play like I'm used to and I'm not going out a sub-par player who's hanging on too long. I'm ready, and my family is ready."
"You sure know how to shock a girl don't you?" I said rising to my feet again getting ready to take the blood I needed.
"If you're comfortable with your decision then I'm happy for you? Is that the appropriate response?"
Mario chuckled and winced as I stuck him with the needle and began to draw blood.
"I need a favour from you Bekah."
"Anything."
"I know it's none of my business, and like I said, I wouldn't normally interfere but, Sid doesn't know yet. As a matter of fact, no one knows yet. I'm going to announce it tomorrow. Now I know you and Sid have been having problems lately, but he has been having a really hard time dealing with things and it's been even worse without you around. He is going to be a mess when he finds out I'm retiring so I'm asking, as a personal favour to me, please be there for him when he calls, because he's going to need someone to lean on."
"Mario, I..."
"Bekah, I don't know what's been going on between you two, but I do know this; Sidney loves you and he has been miserable these past few weeks without you. If you two can't work things out, that's one thing, but not trying is a different ball game. I know he can be difficult and I know his life isn't easy to handle, but if you love him, the way he loves you; you can't give up without a fight. He needs you and I think you need him too."
"Wow, that was some speech! All I was going to say was, as a favour to you, of course I'll be there for him."
"Oh. So I didn't need the whole second part of the speech?"
"No, but it was a very nice touch. Thank you Mario. And we're done. You can roll down your sleeve and I'll go get the doctor."
"Thank you Bekah, not just for this, but for everything. No matter what happens with you and Sidney, I want you to know that I will always consider you part of my family."
I just smiled as a tear once again rolled down my cheek as I closed the door behind me.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
FYI
I posted a new Sidney's POV but because I started it before the last chapter it does not appear as a new update and it posted before chapter 76.
Thanks for all your wonderful comments; I really love to read them. Some of them have even sparked a few ideas for this story! Anyways, hope you keep reading and commenting!
Thanks for all your wonderful comments; I really love to read them. Some of them have even sparked a few ideas for this story! Anyways, hope you keep reading and commenting!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Chapter 76
It was almost noon and I was still in my pj's, contemplating whether or not I was going to get dressed. My head was pounding and the aspirin and Lily's disgusting homemade 'surefire cure for a hangover' had done nothing but make my stomach turn. Maybe a long soak in the tub would help. As I mustered up the energy to get off the couch, I heard a car in the driveway and then a knock at the door. I prayed it wasn't Sid. Hopefully he was going to respect my wishes and leave me alone until I was ready to talk. When I opened the door, I saw something completely unexpected.
"Oh my god! What happened to your eye?"
"Your boyfriend."
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Why don't you come in and explain," I said stepping aside so Max could come in.
"Does it hurt? Do you want some ice?"
"No, it's not that bad," he said taking a seat at the kitchen counter.
"What the hell happened Max?"
"Just a little friendly competition at practice this morning."
"If you look like this, what does Sid look like?"
"Don't worry, golden boy is as pretty as ever. I didn't fight back."
"Why were you two fighting?"
"Well, I said some things I probably shouldn't have before practice and I guess it kinda pissed him off and he tried to make me pay for it."
"What did you say to him?"
"He told me to stay away from you and I couldn't resist the opportunity to get him going, so I told him he was doing a great job making you angry and to keep it up because I'd be there to comfort you."
"Max, why would you say something like that to him."
"Relax, I was just trying to have a little fun with golden boy. Apparently, he doesn't have much of a sense of humour when it comes to you."
"This is getting ridiculous. You're teammates. I thought all you guys were suppose to have some sort of special bond, have each other's back. Why do you hate Sid so much?"
"I'll always have his back on the ice; that's my job. Off the ice is another story. I don't hate him, it just pisses me off that he's treated like some kind of god around here. Everything is always all about the almighty Sidney Crosby. Well, there's twenty two other guys here working their asses off too."
"So you don't hate him, you resent him."
"I resent the way people treat him like he's special. He revels in all the attention then tries to act like it's so tough to be him. Please! He loves being the centre of attention."
"Do you think it's easy having his life? To not be able to even go to a corner store without causing mass hysteria? To have so many demands on your time it feels like you're being pulled in a thousand different directions and there's no end? To have the kind of pressure he has on him not only to save this franchise, but to be the face of the entire league? To have all these expectations to win and then you don't so you feel like you're letting everyone down? He's eighteen years old and aside from business things and hockey, he's practically shut off from the outside world. Apparently he can't even depend on his teammates for any sense of normalcy. You try living his life for even one day and I bet you couldn't handle it."
"Boy, he really has you brainwashed doesn't he? He created the life he has. It has been very carefully carved out by his dad and his agent. This is the life he wanted so I am not going to feel sorry for him."
It suddenly hit me that I had no idea why Max was here or even how he knew where I lived.
"So why are you here Max? To try and show me what a jerk Sid is? To make sure I know that he's not playing nice with his friends? Maybe that will be the final straw to make me realize he's not the one for me? Why are you so interested in my relationship with Sid?"
"I'm not."
"Look, I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I am not going to be the centre of your little feud. If you two don't like each other, it's none of my business, but please leave me out of it."
"That was quite a lecture considering I just came to see how you were feeling today. For someone who doesn't drink very much, you sure pounded them back last night. I figured you might need a cure for a headache. I have the perfect remedy if you're interested?"
"God no! Lily already tried to help with some god awful shake thing that smelled worse that sweaty hockey equipment. Thanks, but I'll suffer. And I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh."
"Harsh! I've used sandpaper that wasn't as rough as you! But, don't worry bijou, I'm tough, I can take it. Now, my remedy for your hangover is nothing disgusting, I promise. Go get dressed and let's go."
It hit me all of a sudden what I must look like and panic began to set in. "Max, I look awful! I can't just throw on clothes and go. At the very least I need a shower and..."
"Then I suggest you get moving. You have fifteen minutes...go."
For some reason, I didn't even hesitate before turning to head for the bathroom. "Make yourself at home," I shouted before closing the bathroom door.
I must say, I was impressed with myself. I made sure to leave the water cold so I wouldn't be tempted to stay in the shower for too long. After drying off, I threw on a little foundation, bronzer, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. I never wore alot of makeup anyways, but this was minimal, even for me. I was really thankful that my hair was fairly short, so a quick blow dry and a little styling putty and I was good to go. I went to my closet and grabbed my favourite dark jeans, brown tee and cream cashmere cardigan. I finished zipping up my brown boots that added three inches too my short, five foot four frame and took a quick glance in the mirror. Why did I even care what I looked like? It's not like I was trying to impress anyone right? I threw on my watch and the small diamond earrings I had inherited from my grandmother and headed back out to the family room where Max was waiting.
"So, how'd I do?" I asked a little breathlessly.
Max stood up and surveyed me from head to toe. He looked me in the eye and squeaked out, "Magnifique!" with a voice that sounded like a teenage boy who had just hit puberty. He cleared his throat and spoke again. "You are a very beautiful woman Bekah. Sid is very lucky."
I felt myself starting to blush and quickly looked away. "Umm, thank you, but I was referring to my time. How'd I do with my time?" I asked nervously.
"Time? Oh right, time!" He looked at his watch and an awkward smile appeared on his face. "Wow, two minutes to spare. That's impressive!"
"I try to stay low maintenance," I joked, grabbing my coat and purse and heading for the door. Max followed.
"Some of the women I've dated could learn a few things from you. They take forever to get ready!"
"It's not really by choice, but by necessity. When you're a single parent trying to get you and two kids out the door in the morning, you learn how to get ready in a hurry. Besides, I have a feeling, the girls you date care alot more about the way they look than I do," I said as I locked the door behind me and then followed Max to his car.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, opening the passenger side door for me. I waited for him to get in the car before continuing.
"I could care less what people think about the way I look. I work in a hospital full of sick children, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I imagine the kind of girls you date are the exact opposite. They are clearly trying to impress people, especially handsome hockey players, and that requires a little effort."
That strange little smile came across Max's face again. "You think I'm handsome?" he snickered.
Not about to let him get the better of me, I replied, "I didn't say I thought you were handsome. I was simply stating that the goal of a puck bunny is to land a hockey player and in order to do that, you need to look good. Am I wrong?"
"Do you think hockey players are so shallow that all we care about are looks?"
"Nooooooo, not at all! I'm sure when you're looking for someone to take home and have sex with, you're very concerned about what her IQ is and having an intelligent conversation," I chuckled.
"I'm a little offended by your very jaded opinion of hoc key players. Not all hockey players are like that."
"No, but you are, so don't pretend to be offended. I'm not judging you Max, I barely know you, so if you want to sleep with anything with a heartbeat, go right ahead!"
"Ouch!"
"Sorry, but your reputation proceeds you. So why don't we agree to disagree and change the subject before things get ugly?"
"Fine by me, we're here anyways."
I looked around and didn't recognize anything around me. Max came around and opened the door for me once again and then ushered me in through a door That had a quaint red, green and white a,wning with the name 'Pasto's written on it above it. At first glance, it didn't look like much, but once we were inside, I was pleasantly surprised. It was small but very cute. The tables were covered with beautiful lace tablecloths that appeared to be very old. Candles and fresh flowers completed the ambiance. A cute, older woman with gray hair pulled tightly back in a bun and wearing an white apron came out from behind the bar and greeted us.
"Maxime, il mio ragazzo dolce! La vostra signora, è molto bella. Differente per voi. Sono impressionato il mio ragazzo. Il vostra gusto sta migliorando!"
I watched a warm smile spread across Max's face as the woman pinched his cheeks and wrapped him in a warm hug. I was surprised when Max spoke to the woman.
"Si, è bella, ma non è come quello. È guista un amico."
Max noticed the puzzled look on my face and laughed.
"Sorry. Bekah, this is Mrs. P...ah, Pastorelli. Mrs. P, this is my friend Bekah."
"It's nice to meet you," I said extending my hand to shake hers.
"Ah non, non, non," she said pushing my hand away and giving me the same greeting she had given Max, cheek pinching and all. She led us to a table in the back of the dark restaurant and smiled when Max pulled out my chair for me, then quickly disappeared.
"The back of the restaurant? I don't think you need to worry about being recognized, there's nobody in here."
"This is where I sit whenever I come here. Mrs. P takes very good care of me."
"She's an interesting woman," I said, before taking a sip of water. "So does she think we're on a date?"
Max looked a little surprised. "Don't worry, I told her we were just friends."
Mrs. P appeared with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. "Your usual Maxime."
"Oh, no thank you Mrs. P. Today we need two of the 'day after' remedies please."
"Alright Maxime. I be back soon."
"So you speak Italian too?" I asked when she disappeared into the kitchen.
"Not really. Mrs. P has taught me a few things. I've spent alot of time here and like I said, she takes care of me."
"And all the girls you bring here to impress?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Max said slyly.
"Riiiight! That's why your usual is a big bottle of red wine. I'm sure it helps 'loosen' them up for you."
"I thought we agreed not to talk about my personal life anymore."
"You're right, I'm sorry. What would you like to talk about?"
"Why don't you tell me about your job?"
We got so involved in our conversation, it seemed like only five minutes had past before Mrs. P returned. She put a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of each of us, followed by a glass of something that appeared to be tomato juice.
"Mangè," she said before leaving again.
"Umm, I don't really drink tomato juice."
"Trust me," Max said. "You want to drink this. I don't know exactly what's in it, but I guarantee you will feel like a millions bucks afterwards."
"And the meatballs?"
"That's so you can tolerate the drink. Oh, and you have to chug it."
"Seriously?"
"It's the only way it works."
"I think you're full of shit Talbot, but here it goes."
I brought the glass up to my mouth to take a drink and the smell that hit my nose was enough to make me gag."
"I can't even get this past my nose, let alone drink it!"
"Chug, chug, chug, chug," Max began chanting quietly.
I growled at him before closing my eyes and gulping the nasty concoction right down to the last drop.
"That is the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted! Is my chest supposed to be burning?"
"That means that it's working," Max laughed. "Now eat."
We talked and ate and talked and ate some more. Max told me about growing up in Québec with his brother and sister, what his family was like and his journey to the NHL. He had asked about the hockey memorabilia he saw in my family room which began the long process of telling my life story and everything that led me to Pittsburgh. For the first time in a long time, I didn't hesitate to open up about my past and I wasn't completely overwhelmed with sadness when talking about David, Gram and my past with the boy's dad. I was surprised at how comfortable I felt with Max. He was very easy to talk to and he made me laugh. And not once was there any mention of Sidney. We were so lost in our own little world, we hadn't paid attention to the time. When Mrs. P came by to see if we needed anything. I looked at my watch and was shocked to see it was going on four o'clock.
"Max, we've been here for almost four hours! I have to get home for the boys."
Max thanked Mrs. Pastorelli for everything and we headed for home. I had to admit that I felt great. Whatever was in that glass sure worked miracles! Before I knew it, we were back at my house. Once again, Max opened the car door and walked me up to the front porch.
"So I guess I'll see you around?" Max asked awkwardly. "That is if you and golden...uh Sid, work things out. I hope you work things out."
"Really?"
"For your sake, yes. I still don't think he deserves you, especially now that I know you better, but I just want you to be happy. You're amazing Bekah, and you deserve to find happiness. So do what makes you happy; you and no one else."
He kissed both my cheeks again but this time wrapped me in tight embrace before backing away.
"Thank you Max."
"For what?"
"For today, for everything. Not only did you take my mind off things, but you cured the impossible hangover. I appreciate it."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'm glad I could help," he said turning to walk back to his car.
"I'm sorry I was so hard on you Max," I shouted after him. He just smiled and gave a little wave as he got back in his car and drove away.
"Maybe I was wrong about you," I said out loud to myself as I unlocked the door. "Maybe."
"Oh my god! What happened to your eye?"
"Your boyfriend."
I took a deep breath and shook my head. "Why don't you come in and explain," I said stepping aside so Max could come in.
"Does it hurt? Do you want some ice?"
"No, it's not that bad," he said taking a seat at the kitchen counter.
"What the hell happened Max?"
"Just a little friendly competition at practice this morning."
"If you look like this, what does Sid look like?"
"Don't worry, golden boy is as pretty as ever. I didn't fight back."
"Why were you two fighting?"
"Well, I said some things I probably shouldn't have before practice and I guess it kinda pissed him off and he tried to make me pay for it."
"What did you say to him?"
"He told me to stay away from you and I couldn't resist the opportunity to get him going, so I told him he was doing a great job making you angry and to keep it up because I'd be there to comfort you."
"Max, why would you say something like that to him."
"Relax, I was just trying to have a little fun with golden boy. Apparently, he doesn't have much of a sense of humour when it comes to you."
"This is getting ridiculous. You're teammates. I thought all you guys were suppose to have some sort of special bond, have each other's back. Why do you hate Sid so much?"
"I'll always have his back on the ice; that's my job. Off the ice is another story. I don't hate him, it just pisses me off that he's treated like some kind of god around here. Everything is always all about the almighty Sidney Crosby. Well, there's twenty two other guys here working their asses off too."
"So you don't hate him, you resent him."
"I resent the way people treat him like he's special. He revels in all the attention then tries to act like it's so tough to be him. Please! He loves being the centre of attention."
"Do you think it's easy having his life? To not be able to even go to a corner store without causing mass hysteria? To have so many demands on your time it feels like you're being pulled in a thousand different directions and there's no end? To have the kind of pressure he has on him not only to save this franchise, but to be the face of the entire league? To have all these expectations to win and then you don't so you feel like you're letting everyone down? He's eighteen years old and aside from business things and hockey, he's practically shut off from the outside world. Apparently he can't even depend on his teammates for any sense of normalcy. You try living his life for even one day and I bet you couldn't handle it."
"Boy, he really has you brainwashed doesn't he? He created the life he has. It has been very carefully carved out by his dad and his agent. This is the life he wanted so I am not going to feel sorry for him."
It suddenly hit me that I had no idea why Max was here or even how he knew where I lived.
"So why are you here Max? To try and show me what a jerk Sid is? To make sure I know that he's not playing nice with his friends? Maybe that will be the final straw to make me realize he's not the one for me? Why are you so interested in my relationship with Sid?"
"I'm not."
"Look, I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I am not going to be the centre of your little feud. If you two don't like each other, it's none of my business, but please leave me out of it."
"That was quite a lecture considering I just came to see how you were feeling today. For someone who doesn't drink very much, you sure pounded them back last night. I figured you might need a cure for a headache. I have the perfect remedy if you're interested?"
"God no! Lily already tried to help with some god awful shake thing that smelled worse that sweaty hockey equipment. Thanks, but I'll suffer. And I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh."
"Harsh! I've used sandpaper that wasn't as rough as you! But, don't worry bijou, I'm tough, I can take it. Now, my remedy for your hangover is nothing disgusting, I promise. Go get dressed and let's go."
It hit me all of a sudden what I must look like and panic began to set in. "Max, I look awful! I can't just throw on clothes and go. At the very least I need a shower and..."
"Then I suggest you get moving. You have fifteen minutes...go."
For some reason, I didn't even hesitate before turning to head for the bathroom. "Make yourself at home," I shouted before closing the bathroom door.
I must say, I was impressed with myself. I made sure to leave the water cold so I wouldn't be tempted to stay in the shower for too long. After drying off, I threw on a little foundation, bronzer, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. I never wore alot of makeup anyways, but this was minimal, even for me. I was really thankful that my hair was fairly short, so a quick blow dry and a little styling putty and I was good to go. I went to my closet and grabbed my favourite dark jeans, brown tee and cream cashmere cardigan. I finished zipping up my brown boots that added three inches too my short, five foot four frame and took a quick glance in the mirror. Why did I even care what I looked like? It's not like I was trying to impress anyone right? I threw on my watch and the small diamond earrings I had inherited from my grandmother and headed back out to the family room where Max was waiting.
"So, how'd I do?" I asked a little breathlessly.
Max stood up and surveyed me from head to toe. He looked me in the eye and squeaked out, "Magnifique!" with a voice that sounded like a teenage boy who had just hit puberty. He cleared his throat and spoke again. "You are a very beautiful woman Bekah. Sid is very lucky."
I felt myself starting to blush and quickly looked away. "Umm, thank you, but I was referring to my time. How'd I do with my time?" I asked nervously.
"Time? Oh right, time!" He looked at his watch and an awkward smile appeared on his face. "Wow, two minutes to spare. That's impressive!"
"I try to stay low maintenance," I joked, grabbing my coat and purse and heading for the door. Max followed.
"Some of the women I've dated could learn a few things from you. They take forever to get ready!"
"It's not really by choice, but by necessity. When you're a single parent trying to get you and two kids out the door in the morning, you learn how to get ready in a hurry. Besides, I have a feeling, the girls you date care alot more about the way they look than I do," I said as I locked the door behind me and then followed Max to his car.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, opening the passenger side door for me. I waited for him to get in the car before continuing.
"I could care less what people think about the way I look. I work in a hospital full of sick children, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I imagine the kind of girls you date are the exact opposite. They are clearly trying to impress people, especially handsome hockey players, and that requires a little effort."
That strange little smile came across Max's face again. "You think I'm handsome?" he snickered.
Not about to let him get the better of me, I replied, "I didn't say I thought you were handsome. I was simply stating that the goal of a puck bunny is to land a hockey player and in order to do that, you need to look good. Am I wrong?"
"Do you think hockey players are so shallow that all we care about are looks?"
"Nooooooo, not at all! I'm sure when you're looking for someone to take home and have sex with, you're very concerned about what her IQ is and having an intelligent conversation," I chuckled.
"I'm a little offended by your very jaded opinion of hoc key players. Not all hockey players are like that."
"No, but you are, so don't pretend to be offended. I'm not judging you Max, I barely know you, so if you want to sleep with anything with a heartbeat, go right ahead!"
"Ouch!"
"Sorry, but your reputation proceeds you. So why don't we agree to disagree and change the subject before things get ugly?"
"Fine by me, we're here anyways."
I looked around and didn't recognize anything around me. Max came around and opened the door for me once again and then ushered me in through a door That had a quaint red, green and white a,wning with the name 'Pasto's written on it above it. At first glance, it didn't look like much, but once we were inside, I was pleasantly surprised. It was small but very cute. The tables were covered with beautiful lace tablecloths that appeared to be very old. Candles and fresh flowers completed the ambiance. A cute, older woman with gray hair pulled tightly back in a bun and wearing an white apron came out from behind the bar and greeted us.
"Maxime, il mio ragazzo dolce! La vostra signora, è molto bella. Differente per voi. Sono impressionato il mio ragazzo. Il vostra gusto sta migliorando!"
I watched a warm smile spread across Max's face as the woman pinched his cheeks and wrapped him in a warm hug. I was surprised when Max spoke to the woman.
"Si, è bella, ma non è come quello. È guista un amico."
Max noticed the puzzled look on my face and laughed.
"Sorry. Bekah, this is Mrs. P...ah, Pastorelli. Mrs. P, this is my friend Bekah."
"It's nice to meet you," I said extending my hand to shake hers.
"Ah non, non, non," she said pushing my hand away and giving me the same greeting she had given Max, cheek pinching and all. She led us to a table in the back of the dark restaurant and smiled when Max pulled out my chair for me, then quickly disappeared.
"The back of the restaurant? I don't think you need to worry about being recognized, there's nobody in here."
"This is where I sit whenever I come here. Mrs. P takes very good care of me."
"She's an interesting woman," I said, before taking a sip of water. "So does she think we're on a date?"
Max looked a little surprised. "Don't worry, I told her we were just friends."
Mrs. P appeared with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. "Your usual Maxime."
"Oh, no thank you Mrs. P. Today we need two of the 'day after' remedies please."
"Alright Maxime. I be back soon."
"So you speak Italian too?" I asked when she disappeared into the kitchen.
"Not really. Mrs. P has taught me a few things. I've spent alot of time here and like I said, she takes care of me."
"And all the girls you bring here to impress?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Max said slyly.
"Riiiight! That's why your usual is a big bottle of red wine. I'm sure it helps 'loosen' them up for you."
"I thought we agreed not to talk about my personal life anymore."
"You're right, I'm sorry. What would you like to talk about?"
"Why don't you tell me about your job?"
We got so involved in our conversation, it seemed like only five minutes had past before Mrs. P returned. She put a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of each of us, followed by a glass of something that appeared to be tomato juice.
"Mangè," she said before leaving again.
"Umm, I don't really drink tomato juice."
"Trust me," Max said. "You want to drink this. I don't know exactly what's in it, but I guarantee you will feel like a millions bucks afterwards."
"And the meatballs?"
"That's so you can tolerate the drink. Oh, and you have to chug it."
"Seriously?"
"It's the only way it works."
"I think you're full of shit Talbot, but here it goes."
I brought the glass up to my mouth to take a drink and the smell that hit my nose was enough to make me gag."
"I can't even get this past my nose, let alone drink it!"
"Chug, chug, chug, chug," Max began chanting quietly.
I growled at him before closing my eyes and gulping the nasty concoction right down to the last drop.
"That is the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted! Is my chest supposed to be burning?"
"That means that it's working," Max laughed. "Now eat."
We talked and ate and talked and ate some more. Max told me about growing up in Québec with his brother and sister, what his family was like and his journey to the NHL. He had asked about the hockey memorabilia he saw in my family room which began the long process of telling my life story and everything that led me to Pittsburgh. For the first time in a long time, I didn't hesitate to open up about my past and I wasn't completely overwhelmed with sadness when talking about David, Gram and my past with the boy's dad. I was surprised at how comfortable I felt with Max. He was very easy to talk to and he made me laugh. And not once was there any mention of Sidney. We were so lost in our own little world, we hadn't paid attention to the time. When Mrs. P came by to see if we needed anything. I looked at my watch and was shocked to see it was going on four o'clock.
"Max, we've been here for almost four hours! I have to get home for the boys."
Max thanked Mrs. Pastorelli for everything and we headed for home. I had to admit that I felt great. Whatever was in that glass sure worked miracles! Before I knew it, we were back at my house. Once again, Max opened the car door and walked me up to the front porch.
"So I guess I'll see you around?" Max asked awkwardly. "That is if you and golden...uh Sid, work things out. I hope you work things out."
"Really?"
"For your sake, yes. I still don't think he deserves you, especially now that I know you better, but I just want you to be happy. You're amazing Bekah, and you deserve to find happiness. So do what makes you happy; you and no one else."
He kissed both my cheeks again but this time wrapped me in tight embrace before backing away.
"Thank you Max."
"For what?"
"For today, for everything. Not only did you take my mind off things, but you cured the impossible hangover. I appreciate it."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'm glad I could help," he said turning to walk back to his car.
"I'm sorry I was so hard on you Max," I shouted after him. He just smiled and gave a little wave as he got back in his car and drove away.
"Maybe I was wrong about you," I said out loud to myself as I unlocked the door. "Maybe."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sidney's POV
When I saw how black Max's eye was, I felt horrible. I couldn't believe I let my anger boil over to the point where I would actually physically hurt one of my own teammates. It didn't matter how out of line Max was, I should have been the bigger person. I needed to apologize.
I waited for Max to come in to the locker room after talking to the press. I finished up before everyone else today and was just finishing getting dressed when Max came in. Before I had a chance to begin my apology, his words stabbed me in the heart like a knife.
"Hey golden boy, I didn't know your girlfriend was such a fan of Italian food. She's a pretty remarkable woman; you might want to try and hold onto her."
He had the smuggest look on his face as he brushed by me and headed for the showers. It took a minute for my brain to to register what he had just said to me.
'How does he know she likes Italian food? Does she even like Italian food? How the fuck does he know how remarkable she is? What the hell is going on?' I wasn't sure, but I intended to find out. I threw on my crocs and headed for the shower room.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean Talbot?" I yelled.
Max didn't seem surprised that I was there demanding answers. The smug look on his face was really starting to irritate me.
"It means exactly what it sounds like. She's amazing. Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass and see what you have right in front of you."
"How do you know what I have?"
"I took her to lunch yesterday; actually it was more a morning after thing. Poor girl had one nasty hangover, so of course I helped her out with my morning after remedy. Anyways, we had a nice, long chat over some pasta. She's had quite a life, very tragic. Her poor brother...I couldn't imagine having to go through that with my brother."
I could feel my blood starting to boil in my veins. "She told you about David?" I asked trying to conceal my surprise.
"About David, her parents, her ex husband, everything. We got to know each other very well, but I suppose you would when you talk non stop for four hours."
I couldn't take any more. "I'm warning you Talbot; stay away from my girlfriend!"
"Or what? I'm pretty confident I can say Bekah and I are friends. We can hang out or do anything else we want together for that matter and you can't do anything about it. Hell, you don't even know of she's still your girlfriend am I right?" he snickered as he walked back out towards the stalls to get dressed.
"Fuck you Max," I yelled, following behind him. "I mean it. Stay away from her!"
I could feel all eyes on me as I stormed out of the locker room.
I sat in my car and stared out the window not knowing what to do next. I was furious at Max for trying to take advantage of Bekah when she was vulnerable, but not nearly as much as I was mad at myself for putting us in this situation to begin with. My anger was quickly equalled by hurt. Why would she tell Max all those personal things about her? Things it took forever for me to get out of her.
I sat for almost half an hour trying to figure out what I was going to do. I know what I wanted to do, but would that just make things worse? Fuck it! I picked up my phone and dialed Bekah's number. Voicemail again. This time I left a message.
'Beks, it's me. I know you said you needed time and I'm trying to respect that, but we really need to talk. I need to see you. Please Beks. We can get through this, just call me. I love you.'
I waited for Max to come in to the locker room after talking to the press. I finished up before everyone else today and was just finishing getting dressed when Max came in. Before I had a chance to begin my apology, his words stabbed me in the heart like a knife.
"Hey golden boy, I didn't know your girlfriend was such a fan of Italian food. She's a pretty remarkable woman; you might want to try and hold onto her."
He had the smuggest look on his face as he brushed by me and headed for the showers. It took a minute for my brain to to register what he had just said to me.
'How does he know she likes Italian food? Does she even like Italian food? How the fuck does he know how remarkable she is? What the hell is going on?' I wasn't sure, but I intended to find out. I threw on my crocs and headed for the shower room.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean Talbot?" I yelled.
Max didn't seem surprised that I was there demanding answers. The smug look on his face was really starting to irritate me.
"It means exactly what it sounds like. She's amazing. Maybe you should pull your head out of your ass and see what you have right in front of you."
"How do you know what I have?"
"I took her to lunch yesterday; actually it was more a morning after thing. Poor girl had one nasty hangover, so of course I helped her out with my morning after remedy. Anyways, we had a nice, long chat over some pasta. She's had quite a life, very tragic. Her poor brother...I couldn't imagine having to go through that with my brother."
I could feel my blood starting to boil in my veins. "She told you about David?" I asked trying to conceal my surprise.
"About David, her parents, her ex husband, everything. We got to know each other very well, but I suppose you would when you talk non stop for four hours."
I couldn't take any more. "I'm warning you Talbot; stay away from my girlfriend!"
"Or what? I'm pretty confident I can say Bekah and I are friends. We can hang out or do anything else we want together for that matter and you can't do anything about it. Hell, you don't even know of she's still your girlfriend am I right?" he snickered as he walked back out towards the stalls to get dressed.
"Fuck you Max," I yelled, following behind him. "I mean it. Stay away from her!"
I could feel all eyes on me as I stormed out of the locker room.
I sat in my car and stared out the window not knowing what to do next. I was furious at Max for trying to take advantage of Bekah when she was vulnerable, but not nearly as much as I was mad at myself for putting us in this situation to begin with. My anger was quickly equalled by hurt. Why would she tell Max all those personal things about her? Things it took forever for me to get out of her.
I sat for almost half an hour trying to figure out what I was going to do. I know what I wanted to do, but would that just make things worse? Fuck it! I picked up my phone and dialed Bekah's number. Voicemail again. This time I left a message.
'Beks, it's me. I know you said you needed time and I'm trying to respect that, but we really need to talk. I need to see you. Please Beks. We can get through this, just call me. I love you.'
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Chapter 75
When I heard the knock on my door the next morning, I seriously thought about not answering it. 'So help me god, if it's you Sidney,' I thought as I opened the door. Greeting me on the other side was an amazing smile; one I hadn't seen in a while.
"Lily, why are you knocking on my door?"
"Because it was locked and I don't exactly have my key on me," she said winking and pushing her way by me. "Please tell me you have coffee."
One look at her and I knew she hadn't got much sleep. She was wearing the same clothes from last night and she had that 'I just got laid' look in her eye.
"Lily, I could wring your neck for deserting me last night. I had to find out from Colby that you took off with some guy."
"Mmmm, Briiiiiian," she cooed missing the hint of anger in my voice.
"I thought that you were going to try and hook up with Max?"
"I was, but it was pretty clear that his interests lied elsewhere. Besides, I figured I left you in pretty good hands."
"That's besides the point Lily," I said sitting down at the counter beside her. "So who is this Brian guy?"
"Brian is the guy I was completely head over heels for all through college. We were in alot of pre med classes together. I don't know how I passed any of those classes because I was always focused on him. We did lab together all the time and I was pretty sure he thought I was nothing but a babbling idiot. I could barely string a coherent sentence together whenever I was around him. Anyways, I ran into him last night and we got talking and it turns out he had a little crush on me back then too. One thing led to another and..."
"And you slept with him."
"Technically there was no sleeping involved," she smiled slyly.
"How can you take sex so lightly Lily? Sex should be something you share with someone you're in a committed relationship with; someone you're in love with."
"Ahhh, that's an awfully sweet and very naive sentiment there Beks, but lets face it; you don't find good guys everyday and if I waited until I was in a relationship, I'd NEVER have sex!"
"Well going home and having sex with a guy in less than an hour is not the way to build a quality relationship."
"Maybe, but the sex sure was amazing!"
"Ugh, spare me the details."
"Okay, so tell me about your night. You and Max seemed to be in deep conversation the last time I checked."
"The only conversation Max and I had was him bashing Sid. He didn't stick around long after that."
"Max bashed Sid? But they're teammates. Don't they have some kind of code or something?"
"I don't know. All I know is that Max does not like Sid much and I get the feeling that Sid feels the same way."
"It wouldn't be because Max has a thing for Sid's girlfriend would it?"
"I don't think that...hey? That's me."
"Exactly! It was sooooooo obvious Beks! You can't tell me that you had no idea?"
"I seriously don't have a clue what you're talking about."
"We'll see. So what happened the rest of the night?"
"Not much. Colby stayed and hung out with some other guys from the team and Marc brought me home."
"Have you talked to Sid yet?"
"He was here when I got home."
"And?"
"And I gave him five minutes to say what he had to say and then I made him leave."
"You're killing me here Bek. What did he have to say?"
"Basically that he was under a whole lot of pressure and he hates loosing and he's feels like he's letting everyone, including me down and he hasn't figured out how to deal with all these feelings. Blah, blah,blah."
"And you don't believe him."
"No, I do believe him actually. I couldn't imagine having the kind of pressure he has on him at such a young age. It's alot to ask from an eighteen year old. But it also shows the lack of maturity I was afraid of."
"So what did you tell him?"
"That I needed time to process everything. Think about things when I wasn't so pissed off and when I was ready to talk to him, I'd call him."
"Good plan! So how long are you going to punish him for?"
"I'm not trying to punish him at all. If this is the way he handles things when they're tough, I don't know that I can be around that. You just can't treat the people that care about you that way."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe I should have listened to my gut and his dad and not gotten involved. Maybe he can't handle a relationship right now. I don't know. All I know is that I love him and he loves me, but love isn't always enough to hold two people together."
"You look like shit mon ami. How did it go last night?"
"Not as well as I hoped. I apologized. I tried to explain the way I was feeling, but I don't think it did any good."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing, just that she needed time to think about things and when she was ready to talk, she'd let me know."
"So what you do now?"
"Wait. What else can I do? She said she needed time."
"Hmmm, I think someone else told you that too?"
"I know Flower, I should have listened to you, but I couldn't leave things the way they were without at least apologizing."
"Women are complicated. Just give her the space that she needs. I'm sure once she cools down, you guys will work everything out."
"I hope you're right Flower. I can't loose her."
"Loose who?" Max asked as he walked into the locker room. "Your girl? Doesn't look good there pal. Keep being an asshole and she'll definitely bolt. And guess who'll be there to pick up the pieces?"
"What the fuck do you know Max? You know nothing about her."
"I know how pissed she is and she ain't buying any of that 'I'm under so much pressure because I'm a superstar' bullshit either. So keep it up golden boy. Keep treating her like shit and I'll be there to comfort her."
"That's it," Sid shouted while running towards Max. He gabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the wall hard.
"Stay the fuck away from MY girlfriend!" Sid yelled as Flower and rushed over to break them apart.
"Chill out you guys. Don't do anything stupid." Flower said squeezing his body between the two angry men.
"Or what?" Max chided. "You afraid of a little competition superstar?"
"Competition? Please! Bekah has way too much class for a scum bag like you. You're not even good enough to breathe the same air she does!"
"That's not what she said last night," Max threw in as he began to walk away.
Sid started to go after him again and luckily Colby was there to help Marc restrain him.
"Max, why you have to say things like that?" Marc asked. "You know nothing happened last night."
Max just smiled and went to his stall.
"I'd keep your head up in practise if I were you Max," Sid yelled after him.
"Bring it in Crosby! Bring it on!"
"Lily, why are you knocking on my door?"
"Because it was locked and I don't exactly have my key on me," she said winking and pushing her way by me. "Please tell me you have coffee."
One look at her and I knew she hadn't got much sleep. She was wearing the same clothes from last night and she had that 'I just got laid' look in her eye.
"Lily, I could wring your neck for deserting me last night. I had to find out from Colby that you took off with some guy."
"Mmmm, Briiiiiian," she cooed missing the hint of anger in my voice.
"I thought that you were going to try and hook up with Max?"
"I was, but it was pretty clear that his interests lied elsewhere. Besides, I figured I left you in pretty good hands."
"That's besides the point Lily," I said sitting down at the counter beside her. "So who is this Brian guy?"
"Brian is the guy I was completely head over heels for all through college. We were in alot of pre med classes together. I don't know how I passed any of those classes because I was always focused on him. We did lab together all the time and I was pretty sure he thought I was nothing but a babbling idiot. I could barely string a coherent sentence together whenever I was around him. Anyways, I ran into him last night and we got talking and it turns out he had a little crush on me back then too. One thing led to another and..."
"And you slept with him."
"Technically there was no sleeping involved," she smiled slyly.
"How can you take sex so lightly Lily? Sex should be something you share with someone you're in a committed relationship with; someone you're in love with."
"Ahhh, that's an awfully sweet and very naive sentiment there Beks, but lets face it; you don't find good guys everyday and if I waited until I was in a relationship, I'd NEVER have sex!"
"Well going home and having sex with a guy in less than an hour is not the way to build a quality relationship."
"Maybe, but the sex sure was amazing!"
"Ugh, spare me the details."
"Okay, so tell me about your night. You and Max seemed to be in deep conversation the last time I checked."
"The only conversation Max and I had was him bashing Sid. He didn't stick around long after that."
"Max bashed Sid? But they're teammates. Don't they have some kind of code or something?"
"I don't know. All I know is that Max does not like Sid much and I get the feeling that Sid feels the same way."
"It wouldn't be because Max has a thing for Sid's girlfriend would it?"
"I don't think that...hey? That's me."
"Exactly! It was sooooooo obvious Beks! You can't tell me that you had no idea?"
"I seriously don't have a clue what you're talking about."
"We'll see. So what happened the rest of the night?"
"Not much. Colby stayed and hung out with some other guys from the team and Marc brought me home."
"Have you talked to Sid yet?"
"He was here when I got home."
"And?"
"And I gave him five minutes to say what he had to say and then I made him leave."
"You're killing me here Bek. What did he have to say?"
"Basically that he was under a whole lot of pressure and he hates loosing and he's feels like he's letting everyone, including me down and he hasn't figured out how to deal with all these feelings. Blah, blah,blah."
"And you don't believe him."
"No, I do believe him actually. I couldn't imagine having the kind of pressure he has on him at such a young age. It's alot to ask from an eighteen year old. But it also shows the lack of maturity I was afraid of."
"So what did you tell him?"
"That I needed time to process everything. Think about things when I wasn't so pissed off and when I was ready to talk to him, I'd call him."
"Good plan! So how long are you going to punish him for?"
"I'm not trying to punish him at all. If this is the way he handles things when they're tough, I don't know that I can be around that. You just can't treat the people that care about you that way."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Honestly? I have no idea. Maybe I should have listened to my gut and his dad and not gotten involved. Maybe he can't handle a relationship right now. I don't know. All I know is that I love him and he loves me, but love isn't always enough to hold two people together."
"You look like shit mon ami. How did it go last night?"
"Not as well as I hoped. I apologized. I tried to explain the way I was feeling, but I don't think it did any good."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing, just that she needed time to think about things and when she was ready to talk, she'd let me know."
"So what you do now?"
"Wait. What else can I do? She said she needed time."
"Hmmm, I think someone else told you that too?"
"I know Flower, I should have listened to you, but I couldn't leave things the way they were without at least apologizing."
"Women are complicated. Just give her the space that she needs. I'm sure once she cools down, you guys will work everything out."
"I hope you're right Flower. I can't loose her."
"Loose who?" Max asked as he walked into the locker room. "Your girl? Doesn't look good there pal. Keep being an asshole and she'll definitely bolt. And guess who'll be there to pick up the pieces?"
"What the fuck do you know Max? You know nothing about her."
"I know how pissed she is and she ain't buying any of that 'I'm under so much pressure because I'm a superstar' bullshit either. So keep it up golden boy. Keep treating her like shit and I'll be there to comfort her."
"That's it," Sid shouted while running towards Max. He gabbed him by the shirt and slammed him against the wall hard.
"Stay the fuck away from MY girlfriend!" Sid yelled as Flower and rushed over to break them apart.
"Chill out you guys. Don't do anything stupid." Flower said squeezing his body between the two angry men.
"Or what?" Max chided. "You afraid of a little competition superstar?"
"Competition? Please! Bekah has way too much class for a scum bag like you. You're not even good enough to breathe the same air she does!"
"That's not what she said last night," Max threw in as he began to walk away.
Sid started to go after him again and luckily Colby was there to help Marc restrain him.
"Max, why you have to say things like that?" Marc asked. "You know nothing happened last night."
Max just smiled and went to his stall.
"I'd keep your head up in practise if I were you Max," Sid yelled after him.
"Bring it in Crosby! Bring it on!"
Monday, March 16, 2009
Chapter 74
"Marc....what did you do?" I asked through clenched teeth when I saw the Range Rover in my driveway.
"Nothing, I swear! I didn't know he was going to be here."
"You really expect me to believe that you insisted on driving me home and you had no idea he was waiting for me?"
"Bekah, I swear. When I talked to him, I told him you were really angry and he needed to give you time before trying to talk to you."
"So he doesn't listen to you either?"
"He's Sid. He listen to no one."
I sat looking out the window at Sidney sitting on my front porch. Normally seeing him waiting for me to come home would thrill me, but tonight, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and go to bed...ALONE! I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Do you want me to walk you to the door, you know...for backup?" Marc asked.
I exhaled slowly and said, "I appreciate the offer but I think you've been put in the middle enough tonight don't you? I can handle this on my own."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Thank you for listening to my bullshit tonight, and Sid's for that matter. I know we put you in a difficult position and I'm sorry. Sid is lucky to have you for a friend. So am I for that matter."
He held my hand thoughtfully and said, "Anytime. If you need anything, don't be afraid to call me okay?"
I thanked him and he kissed me on both cheeks, the same way Max had, and then I got out of the car. I walked slowly towards the front porch trying to think of what I was going to say to Sid. As I approached the steps, he came towards me. I stopped him before he could say anything. I unlocked the door and motioned for him to go inside. I closed the door behind us.
"You have five minutes starting now," I said flopping down on the couch.
"Beks, I was a complete jackass tonight and I know that. I know saying I'm sorry does not make the way I behaved okay, but I am so, so, so, so sorry. I wish I could rewind tonight so it never happened but I can't. All I can do is try to explain and beg for your forgiveness."
He looked at me like he was waiting for some sort of approval.
"You have three minutes left."
"I don't know what came over me tonight. I was frustrated and angry and disappointed and...I don't even know what else. I am so sick of loosing and no matter what I do, we just can't win. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. The team, the fans, my family, Mario, everyone. They all expect so much from me and I am turning out to be a huge disappointment. I'm not used to being a failure. All my life, I've won, and I am just having a hard time dealing with it. I don't know how to deal with it. And I don't know how to deal with all the things I'm feeling for you. Bekah, I love you and it's the most amazing feeling, but now on top of everything else, I feel like I'm letting you down too and that's the last thing I want to do. I just can't do anything right."
He hung his head for a minute before speaking again.
"Do you know what I was looking most forward to tonight?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Walking out of the arena with my girlfriend and taking her home like the rest of the guys do. Just being normal, like everyone else for once. When I had to watch you leave without me, it broke my heart Beks."
I could have sworn I saw tears rolling down his face but I wasn't about to feel sorry for him.
"Is that it?" I asked.
"Uh, I guess the only other thing I have to say is I'm sorry and I love you. I hope you find a way to forgive me."
I looked at Sidney for a long while without saying anything. He was not the strong, confident man I fell in love with. What sat before me now was a shell of that man. There was no sparkle in his eyes, only sadness. I had to dig deep to find the inner strength not to just take him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay. No, the way he treated me tonight was not okay and I had to stand my ground; no matter what his excuse was.
I stood up before speaking for the first time.
"You've had your five minutes and I need to go to bed, so I would appreciate it if you'd leave now."
"Excuse me?" he questioned. "That's it? You don't have anything else to say?"
"What do you expect me to say? Oh, poor Sidney. He's having a tough time right now, so I'll just forget the fact that he treated me like shit and all is forgiven? Sorry, but I don't work that way. I need time to process everything that happened tonight. Time to figure out where we go from here."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I need time. That means no phone calls, no coming over, no surprise visits at work, nothing. Let me figure this out in my own time, in my own way. When I'm ready to talk, I'll call you."
"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked with quivering voice.
"That's not what I said. Just give me some time to get over my anger so I can think things through with a clear head; I don't think that's too much to ask for. Now please, I really need for you to leave."
He got up and started towards the door and I followed behind him. He turned towards me and stopped, wrapping me in a warm, tight hug. I inhaled his luscious scent and tried to stop my knees from going weak. As we pulled apart his lips brushed mine. He sensed my moment of weakness and continued with a deep, passionate kiss that almost made me forget how angry I was with him. We broke apart once more.
"Just know you mean the world to me Beks. I love you," he whispered in my ear before walking out into the bitter night air.
"Nothing, I swear! I didn't know he was going to be here."
"You really expect me to believe that you insisted on driving me home and you had no idea he was waiting for me?"
"Bekah, I swear. When I talked to him, I told him you were really angry and he needed to give you time before trying to talk to you."
"So he doesn't listen to you either?"
"He's Sid. He listen to no one."
I sat looking out the window at Sidney sitting on my front porch. Normally seeing him waiting for me to come home would thrill me, but tonight, all I wanted to do was take a hot bath and go to bed...ALONE! I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Do you want me to walk you to the door, you know...for backup?" Marc asked.
I exhaled slowly and said, "I appreciate the offer but I think you've been put in the middle enough tonight don't you? I can handle this on my own."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Thank you for listening to my bullshit tonight, and Sid's for that matter. I know we put you in a difficult position and I'm sorry. Sid is lucky to have you for a friend. So am I for that matter."
He held my hand thoughtfully and said, "Anytime. If you need anything, don't be afraid to call me okay?"
I thanked him and he kissed me on both cheeks, the same way Max had, and then I got out of the car. I walked slowly towards the front porch trying to think of what I was going to say to Sid. As I approached the steps, he came towards me. I stopped him before he could say anything. I unlocked the door and motioned for him to go inside. I closed the door behind us.
"You have five minutes starting now," I said flopping down on the couch.
"Beks, I was a complete jackass tonight and I know that. I know saying I'm sorry does not make the way I behaved okay, but I am so, so, so, so sorry. I wish I could rewind tonight so it never happened but I can't. All I can do is try to explain and beg for your forgiveness."
He looked at me like he was waiting for some sort of approval.
"You have three minutes left."
"I don't know what came over me tonight. I was frustrated and angry and disappointed and...I don't even know what else. I am so sick of loosing and no matter what I do, we just can't win. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. The team, the fans, my family, Mario, everyone. They all expect so much from me and I am turning out to be a huge disappointment. I'm not used to being a failure. All my life, I've won, and I am just having a hard time dealing with it. I don't know how to deal with it. And I don't know how to deal with all the things I'm feeling for you. Bekah, I love you and it's the most amazing feeling, but now on top of everything else, I feel like I'm letting you down too and that's the last thing I want to do. I just can't do anything right."
He hung his head for a minute before speaking again.
"Do you know what I was looking most forward to tonight?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Walking out of the arena with my girlfriend and taking her home like the rest of the guys do. Just being normal, like everyone else for once. When I had to watch you leave without me, it broke my heart Beks."
I could have sworn I saw tears rolling down his face but I wasn't about to feel sorry for him.
"Is that it?" I asked.
"Uh, I guess the only other thing I have to say is I'm sorry and I love you. I hope you find a way to forgive me."
I looked at Sidney for a long while without saying anything. He was not the strong, confident man I fell in love with. What sat before me now was a shell of that man. There was no sparkle in his eyes, only sadness. I had to dig deep to find the inner strength not to just take him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay. No, the way he treated me tonight was not okay and I had to stand my ground; no matter what his excuse was.
I stood up before speaking for the first time.
"You've had your five minutes and I need to go to bed, so I would appreciate it if you'd leave now."
"Excuse me?" he questioned. "That's it? You don't have anything else to say?"
"What do you expect me to say? Oh, poor Sidney. He's having a tough time right now, so I'll just forget the fact that he treated me like shit and all is forgiven? Sorry, but I don't work that way. I need time to process everything that happened tonight. Time to figure out where we go from here."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I need time. That means no phone calls, no coming over, no surprise visits at work, nothing. Let me figure this out in my own time, in my own way. When I'm ready to talk, I'll call you."
"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked with quivering voice.
"That's not what I said. Just give me some time to get over my anger so I can think things through with a clear head; I don't think that's too much to ask for. Now please, I really need for you to leave."
He got up and started towards the door and I followed behind him. He turned towards me and stopped, wrapping me in a warm, tight hug. I inhaled his luscious scent and tried to stop my knees from going weak. As we pulled apart his lips brushed mine. He sensed my moment of weakness and continued with a deep, passionate kiss that almost made me forget how angry I was with him. We broke apart once more.
"Just know you mean the world to me Beks. I love you," he whispered in my ear before walking out into the bitter night air.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Siddney's POV
'Damn it Bekah, why won't you answer your phone?' I thought as I listened to her voicemail pick up for the twentieth time. I knew the answer to my own question. She was punishing me for being such an asshole and could I really blame her?
What the hell was wrong with me? My heart had sank when I watched her leave the arena without me. It was the first game she had come to since we were officially together and I was looking forward to going home with her like the rest of the guys do with their girlfriends; being normal like everyone else, but I can't even do that right. First we can't win, then I can't even manage to treat my girlfriend respectfully. My mom would kill me if she saw the way I behaved tonight. I can't even begin to think how I will ever be able to make it up to her, and fuck! Voicemail again. I just need to talk to her, apologize, beg for forgiveness, whatever it takes to fix this. I guess if there was anything I could take comfort in, it was the fact that she was with Marc and Colby. They'll watch out for her, and hopefully keep her away from Max. The last thing I needed was for Max to swoop in and turn on the charm when Bekah's mad at me. God knows he wouldn't defend me in any way. He's probably telling her that I'm an asshole that doesn't deserve her. If that prick even tries to lay a hand on her... One more time. I'll try one more time before I... FUCK! Time for a new approach.
"Allo mon ami."
"Flower, is she still with you?"
"Relax Sid. Yes, she's still here."
"Is Max with you?"
"He was, but he left."
"Already? That was quick."
"No. By himself. He was with Bekah while Army and I were getting drinks and when we came back, he was gone."
"But she didn't go with him right?"
"No, Army's with her now."
"She won't answer her phone, I've been calling her every five minutes."
"Dude, she is really pissed and frankly, I don't blame her. You were harsh."
"I know, that's why I have to talk to her. I have to apologize."
"Uhh, you need to do way more than apologize, besides, I don't think that's a good idea right now. Give her some time to cool off. Maybe she'll be ready to talk tomorrow."
" Flower, what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing, just give her some time. She's had a few drinks and anger and alcohol don't mix. Wait until tomorrow. I think she's getting ready to leave anyways."
"You've got to make sure she gets home. She'll probably fight you, but make sure it's you that takes her home."
"Why?"
"Dude, I'm in love with her. You're one of my best friends and the only one I happen to trust to get her home safely. Can you do that for me?"
"I'll try."
"Try hard, and don't take no for an answer."
"What are you going to do?"
"Don't worry about me, I know what I have to do."
What the hell was wrong with me? My heart had sank when I watched her leave the arena without me. It was the first game she had come to since we were officially together and I was looking forward to going home with her like the rest of the guys do with their girlfriends; being normal like everyone else, but I can't even do that right. First we can't win, then I can't even manage to treat my girlfriend respectfully. My mom would kill me if she saw the way I behaved tonight. I can't even begin to think how I will ever be able to make it up to her, and fuck! Voicemail again. I just need to talk to her, apologize, beg for forgiveness, whatever it takes to fix this. I guess if there was anything I could take comfort in, it was the fact that she was with Marc and Colby. They'll watch out for her, and hopefully keep her away from Max. The last thing I needed was for Max to swoop in and turn on the charm when Bekah's mad at me. God knows he wouldn't defend me in any way. He's probably telling her that I'm an asshole that doesn't deserve her. If that prick even tries to lay a hand on her... One more time. I'll try one more time before I... FUCK! Time for a new approach.
"Allo mon ami."
"Flower, is she still with you?"
"Relax Sid. Yes, she's still here."
"Is Max with you?"
"He was, but he left."
"Already? That was quick."
"No. By himself. He was with Bekah while Army and I were getting drinks and when we came back, he was gone."
"But she didn't go with him right?"
"No, Army's with her now."
"She won't answer her phone, I've been calling her every five minutes."
"Dude, she is really pissed and frankly, I don't blame her. You were harsh."
"I know, that's why I have to talk to her. I have to apologize."
"Uhh, you need to do way more than apologize, besides, I don't think that's a good idea right now. Give her some time to cool off. Maybe she'll be ready to talk tomorrow."
" Flower, what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing, just give her some time. She's had a few drinks and anger and alcohol don't mix. Wait until tomorrow. I think she's getting ready to leave anyways."
"You've got to make sure she gets home. She'll probably fight you, but make sure it's you that takes her home."
"Why?"
"Dude, I'm in love with her. You're one of my best friends and the only one I happen to trust to get her home safely. Can you do that for me?"
"I'll try."
"Try hard, and don't take no for an answer."
"What are you going to do?"
"Don't worry about me, I know what I have to do."
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Chapter 73
I was alone; or at least as alone as you could be in a bar full of people. It's a week night for crying out loud! I know I'm pretty out of the 'night life', but seriously? Don't these people have to go to work tomorrow?
I was about to get up and go find Lily when Marc and Colby came back.
"Where's Max?" Colby asked.
"He left."
"That has to be a record! He found someone already?"
"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he left by himself," I replied.
"That's impossible, Max does not leave by himself."
"Well he did tonight."
Colby pondered his next statement for a minute.
"Impressive," he finally said with a raised eyebrow.
Before I got a chance to ask what that meant, Marc's phone vibrated. He looked at the caller id, then at Colby.
"Sorry, I have to take this," he said excusing himself.
"Colby, what did you mean by 'impressive'?"
"What? Oh...I...umm... I have to pee. Be right back!"
A few minutes later Marc returned and asked where Colby was.
"Apparently I have a knack for making men leave. I asked him a question and he bolted."
"Was it a serious question?"
"I don't think so, I just asked him what he meant by a comment he said earlier."
"That will do it. One thing you should know about Army is he speaks without thinking most of the time. Nothing he say ever makes sense and he doesn't like to explain himself so he'll avoid answering at all costs."
"Got it. No serious or personal conversations with Colby."
I was starting to get tired, (or the alcohol was getting to me, one or the other) so I decided I was going to go home. I just wanted to put this very strange night behind me. I was still mad at Sid and fueling that anger with more alcohol was not in anyone's best interest.
"Thanks for keeping me company tonight Marc, but I'm going to find Lily and head home."
"Uh, I don't mind taking you home."
"Thanks Marc, but I'm okay to go home with Lily."
Just then Colby appeared with a few other guys from the team.
"Hey Bek, your friend just left with some guy. They were pretty hot and heavy, I'll be surprised if they even make it out of the parking lot!"
Great! Note to self: KILL LILY!
"I guess you're stuck with me now," Marc said standing up.
"You should stay with the rest of the guys, I can take a cab."
"Oh no you can't! Sid would kill me if he found out I didn't make sure you got home safe."
"How does Sid know I'm here?"
"Uh, I...I didn't say that he did. You ready?"
Why does everybody keep changing the subject?
"Yes, I'm ready."
I said goodbye to everyone and they all looked at me in that pitiful 'I feel sorry for you' look. I'm sure word had already spread about what happened with Sid. I just wanted to get the hell out of here and go home.
The ride home stared out quietly. Marc turned the radio down so it was barely audible and he didn't make an effort to make small talk and I was relieved. I looked toward him gratefully and he must have caught me out of the corner of his eye because he smiled that great big smile at me and my heart nearly melted. He quickly looked away, almost like he was embarrassed, which I thought was endearing. I thought I'd take this opportunity to break the silence.
"Marc, if I ask you a question will you answer it honestly?"
"I'll try."
"Is this what I should expect after every loss?"
He took a deep breath and looked at me thoughtfully before he answered.
"Sid can be very complicated sometimes. He's under alot of pressure to live up to all the hype about him, to save this team, to save the whole league for that matter. He takes his responsibilities seriously and when we lose, he takes it personally. He feels like he's failed; like he has let everyone down. He hasn't really figured out how to deal with losing yet, it's not something he's ever been used to."
"That was a fantastic speech Marc, but that didn't even come close to answering my question. I completely understand the position he's in and the responsibility he carries on his shoulders, but it is no excuse for the lack of basic human decency. He was rude and down right nasty, and that was to me, someone he supposedly cares about! There is just no excuse for the way he treated me tonight, and if that is what I can expect after a loss...let's just say I will not put myself in that position again."
"He does care about you Bekah. He loves you."
"You do not treat people you love that way, under any circumstance."
"I agree, and I'm not making excuses for him, but believe me when I tell you he does love you, don't ever doubt that. Besides hockey, you are all the kid talks about. It's sickening really. He'd probably kill me if he knew I was telling you this but, Sid has never had a serious girlfriend before. I think he's having a tough time trying to deal with feelings he's never had and all the pressure he's under. I know he feels terrible about what happened tonight, so if you can, try to cut him a little slack. Talk to him, let him apologize, heck, make him beg for forgiveness, just don't make any hasty decisions until you hear what he has to say."
I looked at him thoughtfully and said, "Sid's lucky he has you as a friend ya know."
"I am your friend as well, I hope you know that. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask. Even if you just need to talk."
"Thank you Marc. And thank you for being so honest with me, you've given me alot to think about. I'm just glad I don't have to face Sid tonight. I'm still angry and I think I just need some time to process everything before I even think about seeing him."
"Oh," was the only thing he said and he suddenly started to fidget uncomfortably as he turned on to my street.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Uh, wrong? No, why you say that?"
As he pulled into my driveway it became very clear why he was suddenly so uncomfortable.
I was about to get up and go find Lily when Marc and Colby came back.
"Where's Max?" Colby asked.
"He left."
"That has to be a record! He found someone already?"
"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he left by himself," I replied.
"That's impossible, Max does not leave by himself."
"Well he did tonight."
Colby pondered his next statement for a minute.
"Impressive," he finally said with a raised eyebrow.
Before I got a chance to ask what that meant, Marc's phone vibrated. He looked at the caller id, then at Colby.
"Sorry, I have to take this," he said excusing himself.
"Colby, what did you mean by 'impressive'?"
"What? Oh...I...umm... I have to pee. Be right back!"
A few minutes later Marc returned and asked where Colby was.
"Apparently I have a knack for making men leave. I asked him a question and he bolted."
"Was it a serious question?"
"I don't think so, I just asked him what he meant by a comment he said earlier."
"That will do it. One thing you should know about Army is he speaks without thinking most of the time. Nothing he say ever makes sense and he doesn't like to explain himself so he'll avoid answering at all costs."
"Got it. No serious or personal conversations with Colby."
I was starting to get tired, (or the alcohol was getting to me, one or the other) so I decided I was going to go home. I just wanted to put this very strange night behind me. I was still mad at Sid and fueling that anger with more alcohol was not in anyone's best interest.
"Thanks for keeping me company tonight Marc, but I'm going to find Lily and head home."
"Uh, I don't mind taking you home."
"Thanks Marc, but I'm okay to go home with Lily."
Just then Colby appeared with a few other guys from the team.
"Hey Bek, your friend just left with some guy. They were pretty hot and heavy, I'll be surprised if they even make it out of the parking lot!"
Great! Note to self: KILL LILY!
"I guess you're stuck with me now," Marc said standing up.
"You should stay with the rest of the guys, I can take a cab."
"Oh no you can't! Sid would kill me if he found out I didn't make sure you got home safe."
"How does Sid know I'm here?"
"Uh, I...I didn't say that he did. You ready?"
Why does everybody keep changing the subject?
"Yes, I'm ready."
I said goodbye to everyone and they all looked at me in that pitiful 'I feel sorry for you' look. I'm sure word had already spread about what happened with Sid. I just wanted to get the hell out of here and go home.
The ride home stared out quietly. Marc turned the radio down so it was barely audible and he didn't make an effort to make small talk and I was relieved. I looked toward him gratefully and he must have caught me out of the corner of his eye because he smiled that great big smile at me and my heart nearly melted. He quickly looked away, almost like he was embarrassed, which I thought was endearing. I thought I'd take this opportunity to break the silence.
"Marc, if I ask you a question will you answer it honestly?"
"I'll try."
"Is this what I should expect after every loss?"
He took a deep breath and looked at me thoughtfully before he answered.
"Sid can be very complicated sometimes. He's under alot of pressure to live up to all the hype about him, to save this team, to save the whole league for that matter. He takes his responsibilities seriously and when we lose, he takes it personally. He feels like he's failed; like he has let everyone down. He hasn't really figured out how to deal with losing yet, it's not something he's ever been used to."
"That was a fantastic speech Marc, but that didn't even come close to answering my question. I completely understand the position he's in and the responsibility he carries on his shoulders, but it is no excuse for the lack of basic human decency. He was rude and down right nasty, and that was to me, someone he supposedly cares about! There is just no excuse for the way he treated me tonight, and if that is what I can expect after a loss...let's just say I will not put myself in that position again."
"He does care about you Bekah. He loves you."
"You do not treat people you love that way, under any circumstance."
"I agree, and I'm not making excuses for him, but believe me when I tell you he does love you, don't ever doubt that. Besides hockey, you are all the kid talks about. It's sickening really. He'd probably kill me if he knew I was telling you this but, Sid has never had a serious girlfriend before. I think he's having a tough time trying to deal with feelings he's never had and all the pressure he's under. I know he feels terrible about what happened tonight, so if you can, try to cut him a little slack. Talk to him, let him apologize, heck, make him beg for forgiveness, just don't make any hasty decisions until you hear what he has to say."
I looked at him thoughtfully and said, "Sid's lucky he has you as a friend ya know."
"I am your friend as well, I hope you know that. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask. Even if you just need to talk."
"Thank you Marc. And thank you for being so honest with me, you've given me alot to think about. I'm just glad I don't have to face Sid tonight. I'm still angry and I think I just need some time to process everything before I even think about seeing him."
"Oh," was the only thing he said and he suddenly started to fidget uncomfortably as he turned on to my street.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Uh, wrong? No, why you say that?"
As he pulled into my driveway it became very clear why he was suddenly so uncomfortable.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Chapter 72
"Will you please slow down," I called practically running to catch up to him.
He was silent. He slowed his pace slightly but not nearly enough for me to walk comfortably beside him.
"Sid, what's wrong?" I asked innocently.
He whipped his head around and glared at me. He was still silent.
"Sidney are you going to speak?"
"Nope."
We came to the end of the concrete hallway and Sid took a left turn. I was a little confused. I was sure we had to go right to get to the player's parking lot.
"I thought the player's parking lot was the other way," I said following him anyways.
"It is."
"Then why are we going this way?"
He sighed like he was really annoyed with my questions.
" I had my truck moved inside."
"Why?"
"What's with the fucking third degree Bekah?" he snapped in a tone I did not care for.
"I'm just asking," I snapped back.
"Well I can't very well go out into a parking lot full of fans with you with me now can I?" he sneered.
I stopped dead in my tracks and watched him continue down the hall wondering how long it would take for him to notice I was no longer behind him. He got a good fifty feet before he stopped and turned around. I was still standing in the same spot with my arms folded across my chest. He didn't move at first, but when he realized I wasn't going to budge he dropped his shoulders and started back towards me.
"What's the problem?" he snipped as he approached me.
"You're the problem."
"What the fuck did I do?"
"How about your snotty tone for starters. Then we can throw in your attitude for the main course, and we can top it off with that really shitty comment for dessert."
"What are you talking about?"
"I didn't realize I was going to be such an inconvenience that you'd have to switch parking places, but did you really have to say it like that?"
"I just meant that we couldn't go out that way if we're going to keep our relationship secret."
"I know what you meant. It's not what you said, it's the way you said it."
"Jesus Christ Bekah, I don't have time for this bullshit. Don't you think you're over reacting just a bit?"
"Fuck you Crosby!" I spat as I turned on my heels and began to walk away.
"Where do you think you're going?"
I turned back around a walked towards him like I was on a mission. I stopped just in front of him and jabbed my finger into his chest.
"I am not going to be your punching bag because you're in a bad mood. You lost. Big fucking deal! You should be used to it by now! Stop being an immature asshole and taking it out on everyone around you!"
I started to walk away hoping that Lily had not left yet.
"Where the fuck are you going?" he yelled after me.
"Home!" I replied not looking back.
As I got to the fork in the hallway, I was relieved to see her still with Max, Flower and now Colby.
"Hey are you guys still going out for drinks?" I asked.
"Ummm yeah," Flower replied cautiously.
"Mind if I tag along?"
"But you don't drink," Lily said with the most confused look on her face.
"I do tonight."
"Well alright!" Colby hollered as he put his arm around me. "Let's get the hell outta here!"
Marc, Colby and I started off down the hall with Lily and Max trailing behind us.
"I don't know what's gotten into her," I heard Lily say.
"Golden boy. He's an ass after a loss. I told her he wouldn't be very good company tonight."
The ride to the club seemed to take forever. Max had gone with Lily and I sat in the back of Marc's truck by myself starring out the window into the darkness. Every few minutes I'd see Marc look at me in the rear view mirror then look at Colby and exchange knowing glances. Then Colby would peek over his shoulder and look at Flower.
"I can see you both looking at me you know," I finally said.
"Sorry," Marc said.
"Yeah, sorry," Colby echoed.
The rest of the trip was silent except Colby attempting to sing along to some of the songs on the radio. He must of heard me laugh because he turned around and said "What's so funny chuckles?"
"Nothing; nothing at all," I replied with a smirk on my face.
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" he said turning to face forward again.
"It's a good thing you're good at hockey," I said shaking my head.
"Are you implying that I cannot sing?" Colby asked pretending to act wounded.
"I'm not implying it at all. I'm coming right out and saying it!"
"Ouch, that hurts my heart."
"I'm very sorry, but your singing hurts my ears," I laughed.
Up until now, Flower had remained silent. Silent and neutral. But he couldn't hold back his laughter anymore.
"Thanks alot Flower! I thought us guys were supposed to stick together, have each other's backs."
"Sorry dude, but she's right! Is painful what you are doing."
"Well, I see I have met my nemesis! You Miss Jones are to me what kryptonite is to Superman. What the Joker is to Batman."
"No, I'm pretty sure you'd be the joker Colby!"
"Ooh another good one Bekah," Marc laughed as he pulled into the parking lot of the club.
"So you're a feisty one huh?" Colby said. "Let's see how feisty you get with a few drinks in ya!"
After a few too many vodka and cranberry's I was feeling pretty good. Lily was at the bar talking to some people she went to college with, (much to Max's dismay) and that left me at the table by myself with three fine looking young men. Sid had been calling my cell every ten minutes and I hadn't bothered to answer any of the calls. He had already ruined part of my night, I was not about to let him ruin the rest. I was surprised that I was actually having a good time with the guys. They were all so young, I didn't see how I'd have anything in common with them, but it didn't really seem to matter that I was in a totally different place in my life, we were enjoying each other's company.
Marc and Colby went to the bar to get another round of drinks and I was left alone with Max. I didn't really know him; just what Sid had told me and that wasn't really flattering. At least not the personal life anyways.
"I probably shouldn't say this," Max started, "but we all overheard you and golden boy at the arena tonight."
"That doesn't really surprise me, we weren't exactly quiet. How much did you hear?"
"Pretty much everything. Can I just say, good for you. Don't take his bullshit. He had no right to talk to you that way. Boy has no respect. You don't treat women that way."
"And you know how to treat women don't you Max? I've heard stories about you and all your women. Do you think that's any better than the way Sid treated me."
"You can't even compare. Golden boy supposedly loves you and he talks to you like you're nothing? Every girl I've ever been with knows exactly what I'm about and where she stands. When I'm with them, I treat them like they are queens."
"You just don't want to see them again after you sleep with them."
"They know that up front and they're all okay with it. They use me to say they've slept with a pro hockey player just as much as I'm using them for sex."
"And you don't care?"
"Nope!"
"And you've never met anyone that you want to spend more than one night with?"
"Sure I have, I just haven't met anyone that makes me want to stop sleeping with anyone else."
"So no one you could see yourself in a relationship with?"
"Uugh," Max shuttered. "Don't say the 'r' word."
"So what are your intentions with my friend Lily? You just want to fuck her and chuck her?"
Max looked a little surprised those words had just come out of my mouth.
"That's a good one, mind if Iuse it?"
"Be my guest. So...?"
Max looked at me with a look in his eye that I had never really seen before. A devious little grin appeared across his lips.
"Ya know, I wasn't too sure about you at first," he started. "I mean anyone who chose to date golden boy, I had to question their character. But you, mon petit bijou, are special. I can see that from the way you stood up for yourself. You are different than other girls. I still think that you have poor taste, but I'll overlook it."
"Max, you've made it quite clear that you don't really like Sid. My question is why?"
"Je ne sais pas. Maybe it because he's arrogant. Maybe it because he thinks he's entitled. Maybe it because he thinks he's special."
"But he kinda is isn't he?"
"Some say so. Not me. What I know is you are much too good for him. He does not deserve you."
I was beginning to feel slightly awkward so I changed the subject back to Lily.
"You've done very well avoiding my question about your intentions with my friend."
"Ah oui, Lily. Maybe my intentions were not the purest, but not anymore. She is your friend, and any friend of yours is off limits. I will set my sights on someone else," he said with that grin on his face and look in his eye again.
He took my hand and kissed the back of it before getting up and kissing each of my cheeks French style.
"Bon soir mon petit bijou." And then he was gone.
He was silent. He slowed his pace slightly but not nearly enough for me to walk comfortably beside him.
"Sid, what's wrong?" I asked innocently.
He whipped his head around and glared at me. He was still silent.
"Sidney are you going to speak?"
"Nope."
We came to the end of the concrete hallway and Sid took a left turn. I was a little confused. I was sure we had to go right to get to the player's parking lot.
"I thought the player's parking lot was the other way," I said following him anyways.
"It is."
"Then why are we going this way?"
He sighed like he was really annoyed with my questions.
" I had my truck moved inside."
"Why?"
"What's with the fucking third degree Bekah?" he snapped in a tone I did not care for.
"I'm just asking," I snapped back.
"Well I can't very well go out into a parking lot full of fans with you with me now can I?" he sneered.
I stopped dead in my tracks and watched him continue down the hall wondering how long it would take for him to notice I was no longer behind him. He got a good fifty feet before he stopped and turned around. I was still standing in the same spot with my arms folded across my chest. He didn't move at first, but when he realized I wasn't going to budge he dropped his shoulders and started back towards me.
"What's the problem?" he snipped as he approached me.
"You're the problem."
"What the fuck did I do?"
"How about your snotty tone for starters. Then we can throw in your attitude for the main course, and we can top it off with that really shitty comment for dessert."
"What are you talking about?"
"I didn't realize I was going to be such an inconvenience that you'd have to switch parking places, but did you really have to say it like that?"
"I just meant that we couldn't go out that way if we're going to keep our relationship secret."
"I know what you meant. It's not what you said, it's the way you said it."
"Jesus Christ Bekah, I don't have time for this bullshit. Don't you think you're over reacting just a bit?"
"Fuck you Crosby!" I spat as I turned on my heels and began to walk away.
"Where do you think you're going?"
I turned back around a walked towards him like I was on a mission. I stopped just in front of him and jabbed my finger into his chest.
"I am not going to be your punching bag because you're in a bad mood. You lost. Big fucking deal! You should be used to it by now! Stop being an immature asshole and taking it out on everyone around you!"
I started to walk away hoping that Lily had not left yet.
"Where the fuck are you going?" he yelled after me.
"Home!" I replied not looking back.
As I got to the fork in the hallway, I was relieved to see her still with Max, Flower and now Colby.
"Hey are you guys still going out for drinks?" I asked.
"Ummm yeah," Flower replied cautiously.
"Mind if I tag along?"
"But you don't drink," Lily said with the most confused look on her face.
"I do tonight."
"Well alright!" Colby hollered as he put his arm around me. "Let's get the hell outta here!"
Marc, Colby and I started off down the hall with Lily and Max trailing behind us.
"I don't know what's gotten into her," I heard Lily say.
"Golden boy. He's an ass after a loss. I told her he wouldn't be very good company tonight."
The ride to the club seemed to take forever. Max had gone with Lily and I sat in the back of Marc's truck by myself starring out the window into the darkness. Every few minutes I'd see Marc look at me in the rear view mirror then look at Colby and exchange knowing glances. Then Colby would peek over his shoulder and look at Flower.
"I can see you both looking at me you know," I finally said.
"Sorry," Marc said.
"Yeah, sorry," Colby echoed.
The rest of the trip was silent except Colby attempting to sing along to some of the songs on the radio. He must of heard me laugh because he turned around and said "What's so funny chuckles?"
"Nothing; nothing at all," I replied with a smirk on my face.
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" he said turning to face forward again.
"It's a good thing you're good at hockey," I said shaking my head.
"Are you implying that I cannot sing?" Colby asked pretending to act wounded.
"I'm not implying it at all. I'm coming right out and saying it!"
"Ouch, that hurts my heart."
"I'm very sorry, but your singing hurts my ears," I laughed.
Up until now, Flower had remained silent. Silent and neutral. But he couldn't hold back his laughter anymore.
"Thanks alot Flower! I thought us guys were supposed to stick together, have each other's backs."
"Sorry dude, but she's right! Is painful what you are doing."
"Well, I see I have met my nemesis! You Miss Jones are to me what kryptonite is to Superman. What the Joker is to Batman."
"No, I'm pretty sure you'd be the joker Colby!"
"Ooh another good one Bekah," Marc laughed as he pulled into the parking lot of the club.
"So you're a feisty one huh?" Colby said. "Let's see how feisty you get with a few drinks in ya!"
After a few too many vodka and cranberry's I was feeling pretty good. Lily was at the bar talking to some people she went to college with, (much to Max's dismay) and that left me at the table by myself with three fine looking young men. Sid had been calling my cell every ten minutes and I hadn't bothered to answer any of the calls. He had already ruined part of my night, I was not about to let him ruin the rest. I was surprised that I was actually having a good time with the guys. They were all so young, I didn't see how I'd have anything in common with them, but it didn't really seem to matter that I was in a totally different place in my life, we were enjoying each other's company.
Marc and Colby went to the bar to get another round of drinks and I was left alone with Max. I didn't really know him; just what Sid had told me and that wasn't really flattering. At least not the personal life anyways.
"I probably shouldn't say this," Max started, "but we all overheard you and golden boy at the arena tonight."
"That doesn't really surprise me, we weren't exactly quiet. How much did you hear?"
"Pretty much everything. Can I just say, good for you. Don't take his bullshit. He had no right to talk to you that way. Boy has no respect. You don't treat women that way."
"And you know how to treat women don't you Max? I've heard stories about you and all your women. Do you think that's any better than the way Sid treated me."
"You can't even compare. Golden boy supposedly loves you and he talks to you like you're nothing? Every girl I've ever been with knows exactly what I'm about and where she stands. When I'm with them, I treat them like they are queens."
"You just don't want to see them again after you sleep with them."
"They know that up front and they're all okay with it. They use me to say they've slept with a pro hockey player just as much as I'm using them for sex."
"And you don't care?"
"Nope!"
"And you've never met anyone that you want to spend more than one night with?"
"Sure I have, I just haven't met anyone that makes me want to stop sleeping with anyone else."
"So no one you could see yourself in a relationship with?"
"Uugh," Max shuttered. "Don't say the 'r' word."
"So what are your intentions with my friend Lily? You just want to fuck her and chuck her?"
Max looked a little surprised those words had just come out of my mouth.
"That's a good one, mind if Iuse it?"
"Be my guest. So...?"
Max looked at me with a look in his eye that I had never really seen before. A devious little grin appeared across his lips.
"Ya know, I wasn't too sure about you at first," he started. "I mean anyone who chose to date golden boy, I had to question their character. But you, mon petit bijou, are special. I can see that from the way you stood up for yourself. You are different than other girls. I still think that you have poor taste, but I'll overlook it."
"Max, you've made it quite clear that you don't really like Sid. My question is why?"
"Je ne sais pas. Maybe it because he's arrogant. Maybe it because he thinks he's entitled. Maybe it because he thinks he's special."
"But he kinda is isn't he?"
"Some say so. Not me. What I know is you are much too good for him. He does not deserve you."
I was beginning to feel slightly awkward so I changed the subject back to Lily.
"You've done very well avoiding my question about your intentions with my friend."
"Ah oui, Lily. Maybe my intentions were not the purest, but not anymore. She is your friend, and any friend of yours is off limits. I will set my sights on someone else," he said with that grin on his face and look in his eye again.
He took my hand and kissed the back of it before getting up and kissing each of my cheeks French style.
"Bon soir mon petit bijou." And then he was gone.
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