Chapter 112

"There, that's the last box," Max said dropping the bulky box in the middle of the family room. "I can't believe you have this much stuff! It's going to take forever to put everything up!"

"Especially when you are as anal as Bekah and won't let anyone touch the tree," Lily piped up.

"Lily, be quiet!" I scolded. "Thank you Max. I appreciate you lugging up all those boxes."

"No problem bijou. I wouldn't want these delicate hands to do such hard work," he said kissing the back of my hand. "Besides, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself before you feed me!"

"Always an ulterior motive with you Talbot," I said before digging into the first box. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, Lily look at these! They're Alex's little hand prints when he was a baby," I gushed.

"Sorry Talbot, I should have warned you that this would be a sappy walk down memory lane before you agreed to come," Lily teased.

"I don't mind," Max said, helping to dig more treasures out of the box. "It gives me more insight into what makes her tick.

"Trust me big boy, you will NEVER, be able to figure that one out," Lily laughed.

"Oh I don't' know about that. I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far," Max retorted.

I watched silently as my two very best friends in the world were having some friendly banter back and forth at my expense. They got along extremely well for both having the same type A personality. I couldn't remember a time in recent history that I felt this relaxed and content. This is exactly the kind of life; the gift really; that I've always wanted to give my children. A family to celebrate holidays with a make memories that would last a lifetime. Building traditions that they could pass down to their children when the time came. And that's what today was. This family of mine, as unconventional as it may be, was here making memories for Alex and Jake to keep with them always.

"Earth to Bekah...helloooooooooo, you in there?" Lily quipped as she waved her hand in front of my face.

"What? I'm just...watching. Look at them Lily. I just...I'm so..."

Lily linked her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder, looking at the same heartwarming scene I was watching. Max was holding Jake so he could hang his special ornaments from the garland on the mantel. Alex was standing next to them, leaning against Max's side and handing them more ornaments.

"This is what you've always wanted isn't it Beks? The picture perfect family life for the boys?" Lily said.

"Of course it is. I swore when I had children I would give them the kind of life that I never had; a mother and father who actually love each other and adore their children and put all their resources into giving them the best damn childhood possible. One where they have no worries and they can just be happy kids who play hockey and football and hang out with their friends. I wanted them to have two parents who wanted all that for them and felt like they were put here to make it all happen. And as much as I hate admitting that I'm not enough for the boys...look at them. Clearly they need more than I've been giving them. That right there is what I've waited the last twelve years to see."

"You are that kind of parent Beks. You are the best freaking mother I have ever met. You are all those things that you just described and more. I don't know anyone who has made more sacrifices for their children than you have so don't even go down that road, you hear me?

"Yeah, I hear you," I answered as I looked back towards the two loves of my life.

"I do have to admit, that is a very pretty picture. You should be happy sooooo, why do you look so sad?"

"I'm not sad, I'm just...it...it was supposed to be Sidney. It should be Sidney in there with them, not Max."

"Should it? Maybe someone is trying to tell you something. Maybe things are exactly the way they're supposed to be."

****************************************************

"Ughhhh, I feel disgusting," Max said collapsing on the couch.

"Me too," I said falling into the cushion beside him.

"Me three," Lily said from the chair across from us.

"I can't believe I ate that much. I'm gonna have to do at least 50 miles on the bike to work off that pie."

"I can't believe I have to go to work now," Lily said. "Maybe I can call in stuffed."

We all laughed and then cursed Lily for making us laugh with our full bellies.

"I should go or I'm going to be late. Thanks Beks, for that delicious feast; I'm sure I'll be cursing you when I'm running up and down the stairs later. Have fun decorating the tree."

"We will. Do you want me to bring you leftovers later?"

"Ughh, don't even mention food, I don't think I'm going to eat for a week!"

"Well I'll see you later anyways,"

"What? Why?"

"I'm going to visit Sam. I don't want him to be alone all night on Thanksgiving."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you later then. Talbot, it's been a pleasure as always."

"It has. You take it easy tonight eh. Don't work to hard."

"Me? Never. Night all."



Max was sprawled out on the couch with me cuddled up next to him. Jake was snuggled into his other side and Alex was snuggled up to me. I caught myself smiling until I thought about Lily's words. I mean, she couldn't be right could she? Of course not. This is not how it's supposed to be, I mean, after swearing off men for eternity, there's a reason that Sidney finally captured my heart right? I just can't forget everything I love about him; but I can't forget everything that pisses me off either.

"Bijou?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"Do you mind if I go to see Sam with you? I hate the thought of him all by himself."

"I'm sure he'd love to see you."




Max carried Jake into the house and put him in bed when we returned from the hospital. Alex was barely coherent but able to get himself to bed.

"Do you want me to tuck you in too bijou?"

"I'm a big girl, I think I can take care of myself."

"Oh I know you can, but everyone deserves to be taken care of once in a while. You took care of all of us today so let me return the favour. Why don't you go get ready for bed and I'll make you some tea."

I knew better than to argue with him, so I just smiled and did as I was told. I washed my face and put a pair of flannels on and crawled into bed. Max appeared a few minutes later with my cup of tea.

"Thank you. I'm freezing so hopefully this will warm me up a little."

"Come here," he said climbing in beside me but staying on top of the covers. I snuggled in next to him and let the heat from his body envelop my own.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

The sly smirk that appeared on my face told him what he was in for.

"Non, not that country shit," he protested. "Anything but that!"

"But Maxie, it's my favourite," I tried as I batted my eyelashes at him.

"I know and you've already made me watch it like a hundred times."

"Please Maxie?"

"You are incorrigible!"

"Yes but you're going to go put the movie in aren't you?"

"Yes," he grumbled.

*************************************************

I thought it was strange that there were no lights on at Bekah's when I arrived; it wasn't really that late, just after eleven. I let myself in with the key she had given me. I saw light from the TV coming from the bedroom so I headed in that direction.

As I got closer to the door, I heard a song that had been forever burned into my mind and smiled at the memories it brought back. Unfortunately, my smile was short lived when I saw what was waiting for me through the doorway. My heart sank when I saw my girlfriend asleep in the arms of my teammate.

Chapter 111

----------Sidney's POV------------

"Good morning Sidney," Mario said without putting the morning paper down.

"Morning," Sidney grumbled. He went to the fridge, opened the door and saw all the food Nat had already prepared for tonight's feast. He groaned and shut the door without taking anything out; instead opting to grab a banana and sit down across from Mario at the counter.

"Sleep well?" Mario inquired, already knowing what the answer was.

"Not really."

Mario peered over the top of his paper at the young man he had come to think of as one of his own children. It pained him to see Sidney in obvious distress; even if it was only obvious to him.

"So the kids are happy to have Taylor here, but I think Austin is excited to have Alex and Jake with us. He's getting tired of being thee only boy around."

"They won't be coming," Sidney said quietly.

"Oh, I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied going back to the fridge and this time taking out a bottle of water. "I just don't get it. Most girls would be thrilled that you asked them to spend the holiday with your family, especially when you don't see that family very often."

"But Bekah is not most girls."

"No, no she isn't. She's knows I hardly ever get to see my family, why is she so angry that I want to spend Thanksgiving with them?"

Mario thought for a moment before speaking.

"Do you really want me to tell you? You might not like what you hear."

Sidney raised his eyebrow and hesitantly nodded his head.

"Walk me through the conversation you had with her."

"I just said that my family was coming for Thanksgiving and Nat was cooking and we all hoped that her and the boys would join us for dinner."

"A very warm, loving invitation from the boyfriend you haven't seen in what? Two weeks, maybe longer? And what was her reaction?"

"She said she wanted me to spend the day at her house and have dinner with them. She has this family tradition; they watch football, have dinner, and put up the Christmas tree. It's something she used to do with her Grandmother. I offered to compromise and have dinner here then go put up her tree but that wasn't good enough."

"I see. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're an idiot!"

"Hey!"

"I can't believe I have to explain this to you. Who was the most important person in Bekah's life?"

"Her brother and her Grandmother."

"If you know she has this family tradition that the most important person in her life started, why is this even an issue? You should be thankful that she wanted to include you in it."

"But Mom and Dad and Tay are here. I never get to see them anymore. She knows how important family is to me."

"And her family is important to her, whether they are still here or not. And when do you get to see her? You are in the same city and as far as I can tell, you don't see much of each other."

"I know but..."

"No buts! Do you love her?"

"Of course I do."

"I mean really love her, not just the idea of having someone there when you have a few minutes to spare; but really love her and the person she is?"

"I think so."

"You think so? Not good enough. You have to know."

"Well I've never been in love before but, she gets me ya know, and that's important."

"You're still not hearing me Sid. You can't even convince me that you love her, how are you supposed to convince her? Let your guard down, it's me and you here. Tell me how you feel about her; tell me how she makes you feel."

Sid closed his eyes and was quiet for a long time. He pictured the first time their eyes met and how it felt like a lightening bolt travelled through his body; the look on her face when he showed up at her house and she was baking enough cookies to feed the entire city of Pittsburgh. He saw the look of heartfelt sympathy in her eyes when she found him at the hospital scared out of his mind not knowing what was happening with Mario, and how beautiful she looked that same night in the parking lot with the snowflakes falling in her hair. Then he remembered how it had devastated him just after Christmas when she told him it was over; how he barely made it to the spot where they liked to go and watch the lights of the city before he broke down and cried. Then his trip down memory lane reminded him how he thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest last New Year's Eve when she told him she loved him for the first time and how just this past summer he had become so overcome with emotion after making love to her for the first time.

"Yes, I love her Mario. She's amazing in every way. I can be myself when I'm with her and she doesn't judge me. All it takes to make her happy is something little like showing up with dinner after she's had a long day, and making her happy is all I want to do. She makes me want to be a better person, for her and the boys. How do I know I love her? Because my heart still skips a beat whenever I hear her voice, she takes my breath away whenever she walks into the room, and my heart melts when she smiles at me. She's the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep. When I'm not with her, I feel incomplete and all I can think about is when am I going to see her again. That's how I know that I love her."

Sidney slumped back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair.

"And have you told Bekah this?"

"Umm...no."

"Maybe you should. You just said all you want to do is make her happy and all it takes to do that is something small; like making a trip to the hospital to make the day of a special patient?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Nat and Bekah talk Sid. She was very hurt when you didn't go. I want you to listen carefully. You can't just say a few nice words and expect her to believe them. The only way to prove that you love her, that she's important to you is to show her. That means going to the hospital to see that little boy. That means whatever is important to her becomes important to you. You make sacrifices for her, including embracing her family traditions. When two people come together and expecct to share a life together, they have to combine everything. When Nat and I got together we had to compromise on things like who's family we were going to spend the holidays with; especially after we had kids. Bekah has her own family, and inviting you to be part of it is a huge deal and you just blew it off like it wasn't important. That's a slap in the face to someone who makes so many sacrifices just to be with you. If you are serious about her and being part of her family, then you have to stop being so selfish. It's not all about you anymore Sidney; it's about this family that you're trying to create and if you don't pull your head out of your ass, it will be all about you because you will be alone."

Sidney was somewhat surprised by the ass chewing he just received from his mentor, but he was appreciative.

"Thanks Mario. You're absolutely right. I have been a complete jerk."

"Question is, what do you plan to do about it?"