Chapter 111

----------Sidney's POV------------

"Good morning Sidney," Mario said without putting the morning paper down.

"Morning," Sidney grumbled. He went to the fridge, opened the door and saw all the food Nat had already prepared for tonight's feast. He groaned and shut the door without taking anything out; instead opting to grab a banana and sit down across from Mario at the counter.

"Sleep well?" Mario inquired, already knowing what the answer was.

"Not really."

Mario peered over the top of his paper at the young man he had come to think of as one of his own children. It pained him to see Sidney in obvious distress; even if it was only obvious to him.

"So the kids are happy to have Taylor here, but I think Austin is excited to have Alex and Jake with us. He's getting tired of being thee only boy around."

"They won't be coming," Sidney said quietly.

"Oh, I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he replied going back to the fridge and this time taking out a bottle of water. "I just don't get it. Most girls would be thrilled that you asked them to spend the holiday with your family, especially when you don't see that family very often."

"But Bekah is not most girls."

"No, no she isn't. She's knows I hardly ever get to see my family, why is she so angry that I want to spend Thanksgiving with them?"

Mario thought for a moment before speaking.

"Do you really want me to tell you? You might not like what you hear."

Sidney raised his eyebrow and hesitantly nodded his head.

"Walk me through the conversation you had with her."

"I just said that my family was coming for Thanksgiving and Nat was cooking and we all hoped that her and the boys would join us for dinner."

"A very warm, loving invitation from the boyfriend you haven't seen in what? Two weeks, maybe longer? And what was her reaction?"

"She said she wanted me to spend the day at her house and have dinner with them. She has this family tradition; they watch football, have dinner, and put up the Christmas tree. It's something she used to do with her Grandmother. I offered to compromise and have dinner here then go put up her tree but that wasn't good enough."

"I see. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're an idiot!"

"Hey!"

"I can't believe I have to explain this to you. Who was the most important person in Bekah's life?"

"Her brother and her Grandmother."

"If you know she has this family tradition that the most important person in her life started, why is this even an issue? You should be thankful that she wanted to include you in it."

"But Mom and Dad and Tay are here. I never get to see them anymore. She knows how important family is to me."

"And her family is important to her, whether they are still here or not. And when do you get to see her? You are in the same city and as far as I can tell, you don't see much of each other."

"I know but..."

"No buts! Do you love her?"

"Of course I do."

"I mean really love her, not just the idea of having someone there when you have a few minutes to spare; but really love her and the person she is?"

"I think so."

"You think so? Not good enough. You have to know."

"Well I've never been in love before but, she gets me ya know, and that's important."

"You're still not hearing me Sid. You can't even convince me that you love her, how are you supposed to convince her? Let your guard down, it's me and you here. Tell me how you feel about her; tell me how she makes you feel."

Sid closed his eyes and was quiet for a long time. He pictured the first time their eyes met and how it felt like a lightening bolt travelled through his body; the look on her face when he showed up at her house and she was baking enough cookies to feed the entire city of Pittsburgh. He saw the look of heartfelt sympathy in her eyes when she found him at the hospital scared out of his mind not knowing what was happening with Mario, and how beautiful she looked that same night in the parking lot with the snowflakes falling in her hair. Then he remembered how it had devastated him just after Christmas when she told him it was over; how he barely made it to the spot where they liked to go and watch the lights of the city before he broke down and cried. Then his trip down memory lane reminded him how he thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest last New Year's Eve when she told him she loved him for the first time and how just this past summer he had become so overcome with emotion after making love to her for the first time.

"Yes, I love her Mario. She's amazing in every way. I can be myself when I'm with her and she doesn't judge me. All it takes to make her happy is something little like showing up with dinner after she's had a long day, and making her happy is all I want to do. She makes me want to be a better person, for her and the boys. How do I know I love her? Because my heart still skips a beat whenever I hear her voice, she takes my breath away whenever she walks into the room, and my heart melts when she smiles at me. She's the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep. When I'm not with her, I feel incomplete and all I can think about is when am I going to see her again. That's how I know that I love her."

Sidney slumped back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair.

"And have you told Bekah this?"

"Umm...no."

"Maybe you should. You just said all you want to do is make her happy and all it takes to do that is something small; like making a trip to the hospital to make the day of a special patient?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Nat and Bekah talk Sid. She was very hurt when you didn't go. I want you to listen carefully. You can't just say a few nice words and expect her to believe them. The only way to prove that you love her, that she's important to you is to show her. That means going to the hospital to see that little boy. That means whatever is important to her becomes important to you. You make sacrifices for her, including embracing her family traditions. When two people come together and expecct to share a life together, they have to combine everything. When Nat and I got together we had to compromise on things like who's family we were going to spend the holidays with; especially after we had kids. Bekah has her own family, and inviting you to be part of it is a huge deal and you just blew it off like it wasn't important. That's a slap in the face to someone who makes so many sacrifices just to be with you. If you are serious about her and being part of her family, then you have to stop being so selfish. It's not all about you anymore Sidney; it's about this family that you're trying to create and if you don't pull your head out of your ass, it will be all about you because you will be alone."

Sidney was somewhat surprised by the ass chewing he just received from his mentor, but he was appreciative.

"Thanks Mario. You're absolutely right. I have been a complete jerk."

"Question is, what do you plan to do about it?"