Chapter 23

The next night at the game I noticed that Mario wasn't in his box despite being discharged from the hospital the day before. I figured he must be keeping a low profile and taking it easy.
I had left the boys with the Parker's for this game. With everything that had happened the last couple of days, I just wanted to be with Lily for a girls night. She has been my rock since moving here. I don't know how I would've managed without her. And now with this Sidney situation, I was putting her through the wringer. What better way to say thank you than an evening looking at sexy, sweaty hockey players?
The game was a complete disaster. They lost 5-0 and it was the worst game I had seen Sid play. He seemed to have lost the hunger, he was mediocre at best. I hate to say it, but he was playing like the rest of the team. He had looked at me several times during the game but his eyes were empty and he made no other acknowledgement that I was there. I knew he'd be pissed after the loss so tonight I stayed in my seat until the game was over hoping that if we just made that connection there was still hope that he didn't hate me. He made his little skate around and did not even look up. My heart sank when he left the ice.
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The boys had been on a western road trip for the past week and had not been any better. They lost all three games to Detroit, Colorado and St. Louis before finally coming home. My heart was breaking for Sidney. In every interview he seemed like a shell of his former self. He did not take losing very well and I was afraid if they didn't start winning soon his self confidence would all but disappear. The day after they returned Eddie Olczyk was fired. I knew Sid would be devastated. While he did not always agree with Eddie's methods, Sid still felt close to him. I just wanted to call him and let him know that I was there if he needed to talk. I must have dialed his number a hundred times and hung up. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had left the ball in his court and he had not called. It had been over a week.
On December 16, Michel Therrien was named head coach and the first thing he did was name Sid an alternate captain. I was torn between being happy for him and his new responsibility and being sad at the fact that he now had even more pressure on him, if that was possible. That night I had just finished tucking the boys in and getting into my own pj's when there was a faint knock at my door.
"I didn't know where else to go," Sid said softly.
I shut the door behind him and motioned for him to sit down on the couch. I sat beside him and put a comforting hand on his knee. We sat in silence for a long time. God, all I wanted to do was take him in my arms, kiss those pouty lips and tell him I loved him! He'd look at me, struggle to find the words he wanted to say, and then look away. This went on several more times before I just couldn't take it anymore. I gently pulled him into my arms and held his head to my chest. I felt his entire body tense and then suddenly go limp. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on for dear life. He slowly started shaking, silently at first and then I realized he was crying.