I had mixed feelings about actually having a whole day to myself. I had purposely kept myself busy, mostly working for more than one reason. I absolutely loved being with those kids at the hospital, especially the babies. I was fortunate enough that I got to work at both the children's hospital and the general hospital in the kid's ward. (A bonus when the two are run by the same management group and I am willing to work so many hours.) When I was working it helped to keep my mind off Sidney and the inner battle I was having with my feelings about him. He was so amazing and I loved to be around him, but I was scared that the more time I spent with him the more intense my feelings for him would become. I was still convinced that no matter how I felt about him, it was the best thing for both of us to just be friends.
I also found that if I was working I wouldn't focus on the most intense of all feelings I was experiencing...loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I had a very full life. Kids I loved more than anything, a job I loved, Lily and the Parkers. I also found a little time to volunteer at a homeless shelter and the abused women's shelter. But when the day was done, and quiet fell over the house when the kids were in bed, the emptiness set in. It was that time when I longed to have someone to talk to, share my day with, experience all the joys and challenges of day to day life raising the boys with and someone to go to bed with. Deep down inside, that is what I wanted. Someone that I could love and who would love me back. Someone that not only loved me, but the boys as well. A man who was strong and secure in himself, supportive of my dreams and goals and not threatened my by independence and strong will. Not asking for much eh? This perfect man only existed in my dreams.......or did he?
************************************
I spent the day wrapping the gifts I had bought for the boys. Who's brilliant idea was it to buy so much stuff? It was a daunting task but I did get it done. When the boys got home from school we had a quite dinner (Friday night tacos...kids choice!) and watched a movie together. I knew it was the last night before Christmas that I would be able to spend with them like this so I wanted to take advantage of it. The boys went to be around nine and I started to tidy up the pillows and blankets that Jake had used to make himself a tent to watch the movie from. We had had such a great night that when the phone rang a few seconds later, I hadn't even realized I hadn't heard from Sid yet.
"Hello?"
"Hey Beks, sorry I'm calling a bit late. My commercial shoot went way longer than I expected."
"Oh yeah, happens to me all the time!"
"Directors can be so picky about every little detail."
"I know! Just last week I told the director of the commercial I was shooting that the blue sweater looked better but he insisted I wear the green one!"
"I sound like a self absorbed idiot don't I?"
"Not really. I understand that it's a normal part of your life, but I just wouldn't be me if I didn't give you a hard time!"
"So true! Are the kids in bed yet?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I was hoping to challenge Alex to a rematch of baseball."
"Sorry, I guess it will have to wait."
"Do you mind of I stop by anyway?"
Why is he doing this to me????
"I don't think that would be a good idea. They're just nicely settled and I'm not too far behind them. I have to be rested for the big skate off tomorrow!"
"I won't stay long, I promise!"
"Sid, I don't think it's a good idea..."
"Great! I'm not that far away. See ya in 10!"
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Sidney and Lily
In the kitchen while Bekah was downstairs...
"So Lily, you know Bekah pretty well eh?"
"I know EVERYTHING about her, but from what I understand you are quickly becoming a close second in that department."
"What do you mean?"
"Look, I don't beat around the bush so here it is. She tells me everything. I know pretty much everything that has ever happened between you two."
"Really?" I asked feeling a little embarrassed.
"If you want to get anywhere with her, you are going to need me on your side."
"What makes you think I want 'anything' with her?"
"Oh please! Bekah may be out of touch, but I'm not! You don't do a very good job of hiding your feelings for her and don't even bother trying to deny that those feeling are way more than friendship because you can see it when you look at her."
"Well Lily, you seem to be able to read people very well."
"It's a gift."
"So if I were to ask for some advise?"
"The first thing you should know is that I will never sell out my best friend. If there is something she tells me in complete confidence, you will never hear it from me. That being said, I am all for her dating, but what makes you think that you should be that guy?"
"I'm not sure what you mean?"
"If you want my help in convincing her that you should be the first guy she dates in almost seven years, you better have one hell of a sales pitch!"
"Nothing like putting a guy on the spot!"
"I hear your good under pressure!"
"Well, I don't really know if I can explain it. I haven't been able to get her out of my head since the first day I saw her at training camp. At first I thought I was interested because she wasn't interested in me and I love a challenge. But after the night at the hospital and everything that came afterwards, I realized that's not it. I know she's had a difficult life and after hearing about it, I just want to be the one to make it all better. I know it's kind of corny and no matter what I do it will never erase the past, but she is so damn amazing and she deserves someone to love her and treat her like a queen! My heart literally skips a beat every time I see her. She makes me want to be a better man. I have never felt more exhilarated or more myself than I do when I'm with her. The more I learn about her, the more things I find to love about her. And her boys are incredible...
"Ok stop! You are going to make me cry! That was a hell of a sales pitch! If you feel this way, why did you agree to just be friends?"
"What choice did I have? It was either that or not have her in my life at all and that is just not an option. I have kind of convinced myself that if we were friends and spent time together then she would eventually fall in love with me."
"Could work, but it could completely backfire if you push too hard."
"I know. I am trying really hard to hold back, but it's like the forbidden fruit. Once you have a taste you just want more. So what do you think my chances are?"
"I don't want to give you any false hope, but... you have already made a serious breakthrough! I never thought I would see the day she let a guy in her house let alone around those kids. You have definitely stirred something up in her, but one false move and she will shut down just a quickly as she opened up. She is severely broken and fragile after being married to that bastard and it's going to take alot of time and patience to work through it all. You have to take it extremely slow, make sure she knows that you're there for her, and let her decide if and when to make a move, and that's not saying she ever will. There are major stereotypes and doubts that she will have to overcome in order to be with you."
"Do you think she ever will?"
"Can't say for sure, but like I said, you've made huge progress. Now it will just be a waiting game. Can you handle it?"
"She's worth it! I am not going anywhere, no matter how long it takes!"
"So Lily, you know Bekah pretty well eh?"
"I know EVERYTHING about her, but from what I understand you are quickly becoming a close second in that department."
"What do you mean?"
"Look, I don't beat around the bush so here it is. She tells me everything. I know pretty much everything that has ever happened between you two."
"Really?" I asked feeling a little embarrassed.
"If you want to get anywhere with her, you are going to need me on your side."
"What makes you think I want 'anything' with her?"
"Oh please! Bekah may be out of touch, but I'm not! You don't do a very good job of hiding your feelings for her and don't even bother trying to deny that those feeling are way more than friendship because you can see it when you look at her."
"Well Lily, you seem to be able to read people very well."
"It's a gift."
"So if I were to ask for some advise?"
"The first thing you should know is that I will never sell out my best friend. If there is something she tells me in complete confidence, you will never hear it from me. That being said, I am all for her dating, but what makes you think that you should be that guy?"
"I'm not sure what you mean?"
"If you want my help in convincing her that you should be the first guy she dates in almost seven years, you better have one hell of a sales pitch!"
"Nothing like putting a guy on the spot!"
"I hear your good under pressure!"
"Well, I don't really know if I can explain it. I haven't been able to get her out of my head since the first day I saw her at training camp. At first I thought I was interested because she wasn't interested in me and I love a challenge. But after the night at the hospital and everything that came afterwards, I realized that's not it. I know she's had a difficult life and after hearing about it, I just want to be the one to make it all better. I know it's kind of corny and no matter what I do it will never erase the past, but she is so damn amazing and she deserves someone to love her and treat her like a queen! My heart literally skips a beat every time I see her. She makes me want to be a better man. I have never felt more exhilarated or more myself than I do when I'm with her. The more I learn about her, the more things I find to love about her. And her boys are incredible...
"Ok stop! You are going to make me cry! That was a hell of a sales pitch! If you feel this way, why did you agree to just be friends?"
"What choice did I have? It was either that or not have her in my life at all and that is just not an option. I have kind of convinced myself that if we were friends and spent time together then she would eventually fall in love with me."
"Could work, but it could completely backfire if you push too hard."
"I know. I am trying really hard to hold back, but it's like the forbidden fruit. Once you have a taste you just want more. So what do you think my chances are?"
"I don't want to give you any false hope, but... you have already made a serious breakthrough! I never thought I would see the day she let a guy in her house let alone around those kids. You have definitely stirred something up in her, but one false move and she will shut down just a quickly as she opened up. She is severely broken and fragile after being married to that bastard and it's going to take alot of time and patience to work through it all. You have to take it extremely slow, make sure she knows that you're there for her, and let her decide if and when to make a move, and that's not saying she ever will. There are major stereotypes and doubts that she will have to overcome in order to be with you."
"Do you think she ever will?"
"Can't say for sure, but like I said, you've made huge progress. Now it will just be a waiting game. Can you handle it?"
"She's worth it! I am not going anywhere, no matter how long it takes!"
Monday, August 11, 2008
Chapter 31
Sid appeared at the front door and insisted on paying for the pizza. "It's the least I could do after inviting myself for dinner!" he had said.
We ate in relative silence, and when we were done Sid and Lily cleaned up the kitchen while I went downstairs to get the boxes of decorations that I needed. Sid offered to bring them up saying that I shouldn't be carrying them all the way up the stairs, but after assuring him that it was me who had put them down there in the first place, and that I needed to decide what I was and wasn't going to use, he conceded.
When the last of the boxes had been brought up, I started unpacking them all while the boys and Sid put the tree together.
"It has to be against some kind of Canadian code to have a fake tree! You could very well be disgracing our country," Sid said with a huge grin on his face.
"I prefer the term 'artificial', and besides, I hate the smell of real trees and they make such a mess."
"And you call yourself a Canadian?"
"There is nothing unpatriotic about having an artificial tree. I happen to be helping the environment by letting another tree live!"
"Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night!"
"I happen to sleep very well thank you."
"You are such a liar!" Lily piped up. "The only time you sleep is after you've driven yourself past the point of exhaustion!"
"Thanks Lily, but I really don't need your help here."
"Do you guys always bicker like this?" she asked.
I said no and Sid said yes at the same time.
"Well which is it?" Lily asked looking to the boys for a tiebreaker.
"Yes," they replied in unison.
"Thanks guys! When did this become pick on mom day?"
"When the boys finally out number the girls!" Alex replied.
Sid looked at the decorations I had unpacked for the tree with a very puzzled look on his face. He looked at them, looked at me and then looked back at them.
"What are you looking at?" I asked.
"They all...match. Everything is colour co-ordinated," he looked to Lily for some kind of explanation.
"You haven't seen this side of her yet? She is a total Martha Stewart. Worse actually, Bekah is far more anal."
"You colour co-ordinate your Christmas tree?"
"I like my tree to have a theme, yes."
"What happened to strings of popcorn and cranberries and all the cheesy things kids make at school?"
Lily was laughing hysterically. "Bekah would have a stroke if any of that stuff was on her tree!"
I shot both of them a dirty look. "Those particular kinds of decorations have their place on the garland I put across the mantle," I said unphased by the ribbing I was taking.
"That's nothing Sid, by the end of the night there will also be about 500 snowmen staring back at us too!" Lily informed him.
"I love snowmen! There is so crime in that! Can we just focus on the tree please?"
Lily and Sid hung the various burgundy and gold balls all over the tree as I concentrated in fluffing the bows that would soon be joining them. The boys went to work on the garland.
"Make sure those balls are evenly spaced and perfectly symmetrical Sid," Lily giggled.
"Hey Beks, do you have a tape measure and a level?" he said before breaking out into that high pitched girly laugh he had.
"You guys are just so funny! Do you even know what those things are Crosby? Don't you have 'people' for that kind of thing?"
"I am detecting a bit if bitterness in that voice and it is not very becoming!"
"Well it's a good thing there's no one here worth impressing," I said snidely before going to the kitchen.
"Ooooh, that was a burn Sid," Lily said. "Maybe we should give her a break for a while."
"But I love it when she's feisty!"
"You won't when we push her too far I assure you. I've only seen her lose it twice and I sure in the hell don't want to be the cause of a repeat performance. Scary!"
"Maybe you're right. I have been a little hard on her lately."
When I returned from the kitchen we all worked in silence except for the sound of the Christmas carol c.d. I had playing in the background.
"Can I ask you something Beks?"
"Only if it's an intelligent question."
"You said it was a tradition to put up the tree after Thanksgiving dinner. If you just moved here in the summer, why was a good old Canadian girl celebrating the American Thanksgiving?"
"My grandmother was American and the rest of us were obviously Canadian so we always celebrated both. It was her tradition when she was growing up and she continued it after she married my grandfather and had her own family. My mother isn't really the 'holiday' type so I continued the tradition with my own family."
"That's really great. I think it's important to have family traditions to pass on to the next generation. Forgive me for saying so, but from what little you've told me, your mother doesn't sound like she was into much of anything."
"Sure she was. She was into her country club and her social clubs and my father running my grandfather's publishing empire so she could stay in the life she had become accustomed to. That's part of the reason she didn't approve of David's hockey career. She said it was a barbaric sport and it was beneath him to play such a sport. That's also why she didn't have much use for me and why her relationship with my gram was strained, because we loved it and encouraged him to play."
"Sounds like she's a real prize," he said sarcastically. "How did you turn out to be a polar opposite of her?"
"It's weird because I often asked my gram if she was sure that it was me that was adopted and not my mother. She was sooooooooo different than my gram. She said my mom took more after my grandfather, but even he was no where near as uptight as she is."
"Well I think you turned out pretty damn amazing considering," he said with a soft smile.
We stood looking at our completed masterpieces. I was surprisingly satisfied considering how much control I had given up in the decorating process. They kids were long in bed and Lily was getting ready to leave. It was almost midnight and she had to work in the morning. I was fortunate to have two more days off before starting seven straight days leading up to Christmas eve.
"It was so great meeting you Sidney," she said. "Even better that I now have a partner in crime when it comes to giving Bekah a hard time!"
"Yeah, we'll definitely have to do it again soon!" he replied.
"Well I for one can do without the harassment!"
Lily hugged us both and told me she'd call me after work the next night before leaving.
"Well I suppose I should be going too. I have practice in the morning and media stuff all afternoon. Is it alright if I call you tomorrow night to set up plans for the skating party Saturday?"
"Sure. I have no plans," I said as we walked to the door.
Before I knew it he had me wrapped in a bear hug, strong but not too strong. There go my damn knees again!
"Thank you so much for tonight Beks. I've had so much fun."
"Well, why wouldn't you when you were picking in me all night," I said smiling even though he couldn't see me.
"No," he said pulling back a little to look in my eyes, but not lessening his hold on me. "I really appreciate it. I don't have many places that I can relax and just be myself, but I feel so comfortable with you, so thank you."
The deeper he looked into my eyes, the quicker all coherent words left my head."You're welcome," I managed with my voice barely audible.
He pulled me back into a full embrace once again.
"You are very special Beks," he said ever so softly. His warm breath against my neck made all the little hairs stand up straight. "I cherish every moment I get to spend with you."
He planted those juicy lips on my forehead and gave me the softest, sweetest kiss I had ever experienced. It didn't even matter that it wasn't on the lips.
"Bonne nuit mon beau bijou. Reves doux," he said quietly.
We ate in relative silence, and when we were done Sid and Lily cleaned up the kitchen while I went downstairs to get the boxes of decorations that I needed. Sid offered to bring them up saying that I shouldn't be carrying them all the way up the stairs, but after assuring him that it was me who had put them down there in the first place, and that I needed to decide what I was and wasn't going to use, he conceded.
When the last of the boxes had been brought up, I started unpacking them all while the boys and Sid put the tree together.
"It has to be against some kind of Canadian code to have a fake tree! You could very well be disgracing our country," Sid said with a huge grin on his face.
"I prefer the term 'artificial', and besides, I hate the smell of real trees and they make such a mess."
"And you call yourself a Canadian?"
"There is nothing unpatriotic about having an artificial tree. I happen to be helping the environment by letting another tree live!"
"Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night!"
"I happen to sleep very well thank you."
"You are such a liar!" Lily piped up. "The only time you sleep is after you've driven yourself past the point of exhaustion!"
"Thanks Lily, but I really don't need your help here."
"Do you guys always bicker like this?" she asked.
I said no and Sid said yes at the same time.
"Well which is it?" Lily asked looking to the boys for a tiebreaker.
"Yes," they replied in unison.
"Thanks guys! When did this become pick on mom day?"
"When the boys finally out number the girls!" Alex replied.
Sid looked at the decorations I had unpacked for the tree with a very puzzled look on his face. He looked at them, looked at me and then looked back at them.
"What are you looking at?" I asked.
"They all...match. Everything is colour co-ordinated," he looked to Lily for some kind of explanation.
"You haven't seen this side of her yet? She is a total Martha Stewart. Worse actually, Bekah is far more anal."
"You colour co-ordinate your Christmas tree?"
"I like my tree to have a theme, yes."
"What happened to strings of popcorn and cranberries and all the cheesy things kids make at school?"
Lily was laughing hysterically. "Bekah would have a stroke if any of that stuff was on her tree!"
I shot both of them a dirty look. "Those particular kinds of decorations have their place on the garland I put across the mantle," I said unphased by the ribbing I was taking.
"That's nothing Sid, by the end of the night there will also be about 500 snowmen staring back at us too!" Lily informed him.
"I love snowmen! There is so crime in that! Can we just focus on the tree please?"
Lily and Sid hung the various burgundy and gold balls all over the tree as I concentrated in fluffing the bows that would soon be joining them. The boys went to work on the garland.
"Make sure those balls are evenly spaced and perfectly symmetrical Sid," Lily giggled.
"Hey Beks, do you have a tape measure and a level?" he said before breaking out into that high pitched girly laugh he had.
"You guys are just so funny! Do you even know what those things are Crosby? Don't you have 'people' for that kind of thing?"
"I am detecting a bit if bitterness in that voice and it is not very becoming!"
"Well it's a good thing there's no one here worth impressing," I said snidely before going to the kitchen.
"Ooooh, that was a burn Sid," Lily said. "Maybe we should give her a break for a while."
"But I love it when she's feisty!"
"You won't when we push her too far I assure you. I've only seen her lose it twice and I sure in the hell don't want to be the cause of a repeat performance. Scary!"
"Maybe you're right. I have been a little hard on her lately."
When I returned from the kitchen we all worked in silence except for the sound of the Christmas carol c.d. I had playing in the background.
"Can I ask you something Beks?"
"Only if it's an intelligent question."
"You said it was a tradition to put up the tree after Thanksgiving dinner. If you just moved here in the summer, why was a good old Canadian girl celebrating the American Thanksgiving?"
"My grandmother was American and the rest of us were obviously Canadian so we always celebrated both. It was her tradition when she was growing up and she continued it after she married my grandfather and had her own family. My mother isn't really the 'holiday' type so I continued the tradition with my own family."
"That's really great. I think it's important to have family traditions to pass on to the next generation. Forgive me for saying so, but from what little you've told me, your mother doesn't sound like she was into much of anything."
"Sure she was. She was into her country club and her social clubs and my father running my grandfather's publishing empire so she could stay in the life she had become accustomed to. That's part of the reason she didn't approve of David's hockey career. She said it was a barbaric sport and it was beneath him to play such a sport. That's also why she didn't have much use for me and why her relationship with my gram was strained, because we loved it and encouraged him to play."
"Sounds like she's a real prize," he said sarcastically. "How did you turn out to be a polar opposite of her?"
"It's weird because I often asked my gram if she was sure that it was me that was adopted and not my mother. She was sooooooooo different than my gram. She said my mom took more after my grandfather, but even he was no where near as uptight as she is."
"Well I think you turned out pretty damn amazing considering," he said with a soft smile.
We stood looking at our completed masterpieces. I was surprisingly satisfied considering how much control I had given up in the decorating process. They kids were long in bed and Lily was getting ready to leave. It was almost midnight and she had to work in the morning. I was fortunate to have two more days off before starting seven straight days leading up to Christmas eve.
"It was so great meeting you Sidney," she said. "Even better that I now have a partner in crime when it comes to giving Bekah a hard time!"
"Yeah, we'll definitely have to do it again soon!" he replied.
"Well I for one can do without the harassment!"
Lily hugged us both and told me she'd call me after work the next night before leaving.
"Well I suppose I should be going too. I have practice in the morning and media stuff all afternoon. Is it alright if I call you tomorrow night to set up plans for the skating party Saturday?"
"Sure. I have no plans," I said as we walked to the door.
Before I knew it he had me wrapped in a bear hug, strong but not too strong. There go my damn knees again!
"Thank you so much for tonight Beks. I've had so much fun."
"Well, why wouldn't you when you were picking in me all night," I said smiling even though he couldn't see me.
"No," he said pulling back a little to look in my eyes, but not lessening his hold on me. "I really appreciate it. I don't have many places that I can relax and just be myself, but I feel so comfortable with you, so thank you."
The deeper he looked into my eyes, the quicker all coherent words left my head."You're welcome," I managed with my voice barely audible.
He pulled me back into a full embrace once again.
"You are very special Beks," he said ever so softly. His warm breath against my neck made all the little hairs stand up straight. "I cherish every moment I get to spend with you."
He planted those juicy lips on my forehead and gave me the softest, sweetest kiss I had ever experienced. It didn't even matter that it wasn't on the lips.
"Bonne nuit mon beau bijou. Reves doux," he said quietly.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Chapter 30
The kids ran through the door and headed straight to the fridge leaving a trail of coats, hats, gloves and backpacks in their wake.
"Hey, hey, hey, you guys know better. Get back here and put your stuff away and get your homework out."
"Ahh but mom, I'm starving!" Alex whined.
"But mom, I don't have any homework," Jake chirped quite happily.
"But mom, come on you're no fun!" the biggest kid of all said making sure he got his two cents worth in.
"I didn't realize I had changed my name to but mom! Alex get your homework out and I'll get you a snack. Jake you can watch your hour of t.v. now or after dinner."
"Now!" and he was gone.
"And you Crosby. You are a bad influence! The boys have a routine that they need to stick to, surely you of all people can understand that."
He looked down at the ground and gave me an 'awe shucks' look before batting his eyelashes at me.
"I'm sorry," he said not really meaning it.
I just shook my head. "Batting your eyelashes at me? That's pretty weak Crosby."
"Yes, but did it work?"
"No. You are such a girl!"
"Am not!"
"You are too!"
"Are you guys done?" Alex interrupted. "You fight like girls!"
"Ouch! That hurt man. You're supposed to be on my side, us guys have to stick together."
"Alex we were not fighting," I said putting some apple slices and cheese in front of him.
"Hey Sid, what do you know about geometry?" Alex asked.
"I can get by," he replied taking a seat next to him at the counter and looking over Alex's books.
"I'll be right back," I said grabbing my cell as I left the room.
I sent Lily a text: 'Don't freak out but Sidney is joining us tonight. R U ok with that?'
'At ur house???!!!!'
'Yep'
'Sorry but i m freaking out!'
'Get it out now and just b cool when u get here.'
'B there in 20!'
I checked on Jake before heading back to the kitchen. He was engrossed in his daily dose of Sponge Bob. I stopped at the end of the hallway and observed the touching scene before me. Sid and Alex were sitting side by side and Sid was showing Alex how to measure the angles in a triangle. It was the simplest thing but one of the most heartwarming visions I had seen in a long time. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought back to the conversation Alex and I had that very morning when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was exactly what he had been talking about. This beautiful sight is what I had been depriving him and Jake of for six long years. A strong, positive male influence to guide them through the most influential years of their lives. I was a horrible mother! How could I be so selfish? My self-loathing came to an abrupt halt when the front door slammed and Lily shrieked "OH MY GOD!"
Lily made a bee line straight for Sidney who was more than a little stunned at the high pitched shriek.
"Way to be cool Lily," I mumbled going over to run interference.
"Sid, this is my extremely disturbed,yet very sweet best friend Lily. Lily this is..."
"Yeah yeah I KNOW who this is. It is so great to meet you Sidney, I am a HUGE fan!"
Sid extended his hand to her and she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him like she had never seen a man before. Gracious as always, Sid returned the embrace.
"Ok Lily geez! Can you let the guy breathe at least?"
"Sorry," she said giggling like a school girl. "I just can't believe that I am in the presence of the great Sidney Crosby!"
"Clearly Lily is not the shy, quiet type!" I said in that sarcastic tone that I didn't even know I was using half the time.
"It's fine," Sid laughed. "I'm getting used to it."
The three of them carried on like they were long lost friends, talking about everything from Christmas to the weather to the Pens less than stellar season thus far.
"Where do you guys want to get the pizza from?" I interjected.
"I don't care, " Lily said.
"Me either," Alex echoed.
"How about 'Gino's? They have great pizza!" Sid aid rather enthusiastically.
After arguing over what to put on the pizzas I finally placed the order and went about setting the table for dinner.
"Do you need any help?" Sid asked.
"No I'm fine. Thanks for offering though."
"Do you mind if I play a video game with the boys before dinner?"
"No, I guess not."
"Great!" he said and then disappeared into the 'media room' that was home to the computer, t.v. and video game consoles, a kick ass stereo system and an extensive movie, record and c.d. collection that I had inherited from gram.
I stayed in the kitchen with Lily.
"What the hell Bekah?" Lily demanded.
"What?" I asked.
"What? It's one thing to to meet the guy after a game or run into him accidentally at the hospital, but how the hell did this happen?"
I once again proceeded to tell her all the details of recent events. I was sure to leave out my conversation with Alex and the epiphany I was experiencing when she arrived.
"Wow," she said very matter of factly.
"Really? That's all you have to say?"
"I'm kind of in shock here Bekah."
"I know, it's Sidney Crosby. But he really is rather normal once you get past what he does."
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"You. You broke your cardinal rule. You have let a man not only in your house, not only in your life but into the boys lives. You swore this would never happen, and not only is it happening, but it's happening with one of the most famous hockey players in the world! He must have some spell over you to have crossed over into the forbidden land!"
"Nothing is happening," I said. "I've made it perfectly clear that we will never be anything but friends, and I happen to have friends over to my house every once in a while. You're my friend and you practically live here!"
"Just friends my ass! It is more than that and you know it! You may think that you've fooled him into believing that, but I'm your best friend and I'm not buying it. I can see it in your eyes, and if you don't watch yourself, he's going to too."
Ding dong!
Thank god! Saved by the bell.
"Hey, hey, hey, you guys know better. Get back here and put your stuff away and get your homework out."
"Ahh but mom, I'm starving!" Alex whined.
"But mom, I don't have any homework," Jake chirped quite happily.
"But mom, come on you're no fun!" the biggest kid of all said making sure he got his two cents worth in.
"I didn't realize I had changed my name to but mom! Alex get your homework out and I'll get you a snack. Jake you can watch your hour of t.v. now or after dinner."
"Now!" and he was gone.
"And you Crosby. You are a bad influence! The boys have a routine that they need to stick to, surely you of all people can understand that."
He looked down at the ground and gave me an 'awe shucks' look before batting his eyelashes at me.
"I'm sorry," he said not really meaning it.
I just shook my head. "Batting your eyelashes at me? That's pretty weak Crosby."
"Yes, but did it work?"
"No. You are such a girl!"
"Am not!"
"You are too!"
"Are you guys done?" Alex interrupted. "You fight like girls!"
"Ouch! That hurt man. You're supposed to be on my side, us guys have to stick together."
"Alex we were not fighting," I said putting some apple slices and cheese in front of him.
"Hey Sid, what do you know about geometry?" Alex asked.
"I can get by," he replied taking a seat next to him at the counter and looking over Alex's books.
"I'll be right back," I said grabbing my cell as I left the room.
I sent Lily a text: 'Don't freak out but Sidney is joining us tonight. R U ok with that?'
'At ur house???!!!!'
'Yep'
'Sorry but i m freaking out!'
'Get it out now and just b cool when u get here.'
'B there in 20!'
I checked on Jake before heading back to the kitchen. He was engrossed in his daily dose of Sponge Bob. I stopped at the end of the hallway and observed the touching scene before me. Sid and Alex were sitting side by side and Sid was showing Alex how to measure the angles in a triangle. It was the simplest thing but one of the most heartwarming visions I had seen in a long time. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought back to the conversation Alex and I had that very morning when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was exactly what he had been talking about. This beautiful sight is what I had been depriving him and Jake of for six long years. A strong, positive male influence to guide them through the most influential years of their lives. I was a horrible mother! How could I be so selfish? My self-loathing came to an abrupt halt when the front door slammed and Lily shrieked "OH MY GOD!"
Lily made a bee line straight for Sidney who was more than a little stunned at the high pitched shriek.
"Way to be cool Lily," I mumbled going over to run interference.
"Sid, this is my extremely disturbed,yet very sweet best friend Lily. Lily this is..."
"Yeah yeah I KNOW who this is. It is so great to meet you Sidney, I am a HUGE fan!"
Sid extended his hand to her and she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him like she had never seen a man before. Gracious as always, Sid returned the embrace.
"Ok Lily geez! Can you let the guy breathe at least?"
"Sorry," she said giggling like a school girl. "I just can't believe that I am in the presence of the great Sidney Crosby!"
"Clearly Lily is not the shy, quiet type!" I said in that sarcastic tone that I didn't even know I was using half the time.
"It's fine," Sid laughed. "I'm getting used to it."
The three of them carried on like they were long lost friends, talking about everything from Christmas to the weather to the Pens less than stellar season thus far.
"Where do you guys want to get the pizza from?" I interjected.
"I don't care, " Lily said.
"Me either," Alex echoed.
"How about 'Gino's? They have great pizza!" Sid aid rather enthusiastically.
After arguing over what to put on the pizzas I finally placed the order and went about setting the table for dinner.
"Do you need any help?" Sid asked.
"No I'm fine. Thanks for offering though."
"Do you mind if I play a video game with the boys before dinner?"
"No, I guess not."
"Great!" he said and then disappeared into the 'media room' that was home to the computer, t.v. and video game consoles, a kick ass stereo system and an extensive movie, record and c.d. collection that I had inherited from gram.
I stayed in the kitchen with Lily.
"What the hell Bekah?" Lily demanded.
"What?" I asked.
"What? It's one thing to to meet the guy after a game or run into him accidentally at the hospital, but how the hell did this happen?"
I once again proceeded to tell her all the details of recent events. I was sure to leave out my conversation with Alex and the epiphany I was experiencing when she arrived.
"Wow," she said very matter of factly.
"Really? That's all you have to say?"
"I'm kind of in shock here Bekah."
"I know, it's Sidney Crosby. But he really is rather normal once you get past what he does."
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"You. You broke your cardinal rule. You have let a man not only in your house, not only in your life but into the boys lives. You swore this would never happen, and not only is it happening, but it's happening with one of the most famous hockey players in the world! He must have some spell over you to have crossed over into the forbidden land!"
"Nothing is happening," I said. "I've made it perfectly clear that we will never be anything but friends, and I happen to have friends over to my house every once in a while. You're my friend and you practically live here!"
"Just friends my ass! It is more than that and you know it! You may think that you've fooled him into believing that, but I'm your best friend and I'm not buying it. I can see it in your eyes, and if you don't watch yourself, he's going to too."
Ding dong!
Thank god! Saved by the bell.
F.Y.I.
I hope there are still people out there reading and enjoying this story! I have the whole thing pretty much done but I would love to know where you, the readers would like to see the story go. How fast should the relationship develop or even if there should be one! I think it will be interesting to see how close we are in ideas! Drop me a comment and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Chapter 29
My stomach suddenly felt like it was doing somersaults. This is exactly what I was afraid of, I give an inch and he tries to take a mile.
"Sidney, I don't think that would be a very good idea."
"Why not? You could use some help with that tree couldn't you?"
"That's what the boys are here for and besides, Lily is coming for dinner and to help."
"Ahhh, the famous Lily! Great, then I will finally get to meet her."
"Sid, really, the kids will have homework, we have to have dinner and..."
"I should hope so! I'm starving! Somebody couldn't take a breather from shopping long enough to have lunch! What's on the menu?"
"You are not staying," I said trying to be assertive.
"After dragging me through all those stores and making me carry all those heavy bags, you're going to kick me out and not even feed me for a hard day of labour? C'mon, we can order pizza and get that tree up."
"Crying me a pathetic attempt at a sob story and trying to make me feel guilty is not going to change my mind. You had fair warning about what the day was going to be like."
"True," he said looking at his watch. "Too bad we don't have time for a debate. You're going to be late picking up the boys if we don't get going."
"We? There is no we. I am going and you are not."
"Yes I am. Let's go. I hate being late."
"When did you get to be the boss of me?"
"When you made me go in all those girly stores and then carry the bags."
"Funny. You can't just show up at a public school unannounced, it would cause mass hysteria."
"That's why were taking your car, tinted windows, less conspicuous. And I promise I will not exit the vehicle."
I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Ya know, you can just as easily get into your car instead of mine," I said closing the front door behind me.
"I'm starting to get the feeling you don't want me around," he said only half jokingly. If you want me to leave just say so."
'Of course I don't,' I wanted to scream, but that's not what came out.
"Whatever, I don't have time to argue."
"I win!"
"Does everything have to be a competition with you?"
I already knew the answer to that question.
****************************************************************
"Before you guys get in the car, I need to tell you something," I said walking out of the school with Alex and Jake.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"I have a friend with me and they will be joining us for dinner and to help decorate the tree."
"Duh mom! We already know Lily's coming over," Alex said in that sarcastic tone.
"It's not Lily. Well Lily is still coming but it's someone else."
"Who?"
"You guys can't freak out and this in no way means you get out of doing your homework and chores."
They were both looking at me with confused looks on their faces. Jake wrinkled his nose just like I did when I was confused and Alex bit his lower lip like I did when I was nervous (something I'd been doing alot more of lately).
"Just tell us!"
"Do you remember meeting Sidney Crosby a while ago?"
Stupid question!
"That was only like the best day of my life!" shouted Alex. Jake just shook his head up and down.
"Well, he and I have become friends and..."
"Are you serious? Are you telling us that Sidney Crosby...THE Sidney Crosby is going to be at our house?"
"Alex, keep your voice down," I warned. "Yes, as a matter of fact he's waiting in the car, but guys you have to understand something. Sidney is not like you and me. He is a very famous person and that means people, sometimes not very nice people want to know what he's doing all the time and if they know where he is they will follow him everywhere he goes. So it's very important that this stays our little secret for now. You can't go tell all your friends that you were hanging out with Sidney Crosby. Do you understand?"
"But mommy, you said secrets were bad," Jake said with his mere 8 years of innocence evident in his eyes.
"Yes honey, most secrets are bad, but in some special cases it's ok."
"When?"
I was really not prepared to have a philosophical conversation with an 8 year old in the school yard, but here I was. Damn you Sidney! This is what I didn't want to happen! Having you around can only complicate my life.
"Well, like in this case it's ok because no one is going to get hurt by not telling anyone."
He paused for a minute. "Ok!"
Thank god he bought it!
"Alex, you're pretty quiet all of a sudden. What's on your mind?"
"Nothin' really. Are you sure I can't even tell Logan, he's like my best friend?"
"I'm sure. You can't say anything to anyone, at least not yet," I replied as we reached the car.
They boys opened the back door and climbed into their seats.
"Hey guys, it's good to see you again! I hope you don't mind that I crash your party tonight?" Sid said.
"It's cool," Alex replied trying to contain his excitement. Jake just shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah, Jake's the strong silent type huh?" he said turning to look at me now.
"Something like that. He's not easily impressed."
"Just like his mother!"
I gave him a very uncomfortable half smile as I pulled away from the school.
"Hey Beks," he said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"This. Today...everything. I'm really looking forward to tonight."
"Sidney, I don't think that would be a very good idea."
"Why not? You could use some help with that tree couldn't you?"
"That's what the boys are here for and besides, Lily is coming for dinner and to help."
"Ahhh, the famous Lily! Great, then I will finally get to meet her."
"Sid, really, the kids will have homework, we have to have dinner and..."
"I should hope so! I'm starving! Somebody couldn't take a breather from shopping long enough to have lunch! What's on the menu?"
"You are not staying," I said trying to be assertive.
"After dragging me through all those stores and making me carry all those heavy bags, you're going to kick me out and not even feed me for a hard day of labour? C'mon, we can order pizza and get that tree up."
"Crying me a pathetic attempt at a sob story and trying to make me feel guilty is not going to change my mind. You had fair warning about what the day was going to be like."
"True," he said looking at his watch. "Too bad we don't have time for a debate. You're going to be late picking up the boys if we don't get going."
"We? There is no we. I am going and you are not."
"Yes I am. Let's go. I hate being late."
"When did you get to be the boss of me?"
"When you made me go in all those girly stores and then carry the bags."
"Funny. You can't just show up at a public school unannounced, it would cause mass hysteria."
"That's why were taking your car, tinted windows, less conspicuous. And I promise I will not exit the vehicle."
I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Ya know, you can just as easily get into your car instead of mine," I said closing the front door behind me.
"I'm starting to get the feeling you don't want me around," he said only half jokingly. If you want me to leave just say so."
'Of course I don't,' I wanted to scream, but that's not what came out.
"Whatever, I don't have time to argue."
"I win!"
"Does everything have to be a competition with you?"
I already knew the answer to that question.
****************************************************************
"Before you guys get in the car, I need to tell you something," I said walking out of the school with Alex and Jake.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"I have a friend with me and they will be joining us for dinner and to help decorate the tree."
"Duh mom! We already know Lily's coming over," Alex said in that sarcastic tone.
"It's not Lily. Well Lily is still coming but it's someone else."
"Who?"
"You guys can't freak out and this in no way means you get out of doing your homework and chores."
They were both looking at me with confused looks on their faces. Jake wrinkled his nose just like I did when I was confused and Alex bit his lower lip like I did when I was nervous (something I'd been doing alot more of lately).
"Just tell us!"
"Do you remember meeting Sidney Crosby a while ago?"
Stupid question!
"That was only like the best day of my life!" shouted Alex. Jake just shook his head up and down.
"Well, he and I have become friends and..."
"Are you serious? Are you telling us that Sidney Crosby...THE Sidney Crosby is going to be at our house?"
"Alex, keep your voice down," I warned. "Yes, as a matter of fact he's waiting in the car, but guys you have to understand something. Sidney is not like you and me. He is a very famous person and that means people, sometimes not very nice people want to know what he's doing all the time and if they know where he is they will follow him everywhere he goes. So it's very important that this stays our little secret for now. You can't go tell all your friends that you were hanging out with Sidney Crosby. Do you understand?"
"But mommy, you said secrets were bad," Jake said with his mere 8 years of innocence evident in his eyes.
"Yes honey, most secrets are bad, but in some special cases it's ok."
"When?"
I was really not prepared to have a philosophical conversation with an 8 year old in the school yard, but here I was. Damn you Sidney! This is what I didn't want to happen! Having you around can only complicate my life.
"Well, like in this case it's ok because no one is going to get hurt by not telling anyone."
He paused for a minute. "Ok!"
Thank god he bought it!
"Alex, you're pretty quiet all of a sudden. What's on your mind?"
"Nothin' really. Are you sure I can't even tell Logan, he's like my best friend?"
"I'm sure. You can't say anything to anyone, at least not yet," I replied as we reached the car.
They boys opened the back door and climbed into their seats.
"Hey guys, it's good to see you again! I hope you don't mind that I crash your party tonight?" Sid said.
"It's cool," Alex replied trying to contain his excitement. Jake just shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah, Jake's the strong silent type huh?" he said turning to look at me now.
"Something like that. He's not easily impressed."
"Just like his mother!"
I gave him a very uncomfortable half smile as I pulled away from the school.
"Hey Beks," he said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"This. Today...everything. I'm really looking forward to tonight."
Chapter 28
We got back to my house at 2:45. Sid helped me carry in all the bags containing the presents I had bought for the boys, Lily, the doctor who's name I'd gotten in the secret Santa draw and of course myself too! He collapsed on the chair by the front door with a look of sheer exhaustion on his face.
"What's the matter Crosby...tired?" I asked with a smirk.
"Nope, I could go for hours yet," he said leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
"Great! 'Cause now we have to hide it all!"
"Ugh, where? Do you have room for all this stuff?"
"Might I remind you that you are the one responsible for the majority of this stuff! If it wasn't for you, I would not have bought half this stuff!!"
That cheeky grin appeared across his lips and he got a devilish look in his eyes.
"Yeah, but the kids are going to have fun Christmas morning!"
I led him to the basement and the secret hiding spot under the stairs. We packed it full and then he spotted all the boxes labelled 'Xmas decorations'.
"Wouldn't they be more decorative if they were actually out?" he laughed.
"I know," I said shaking my head in disgust at myself. "The boys have been all over me because the tree isn't up yet. I am sooooo late this year! That's our Thanksgiving tradition. We watch the football games and then decorate the tree after dinner. I've just been so busy with work I haven't thought about it much, but that is my goal for tonight."
"Football fans huh?'
"Yep, Cowboys baby!"
"You should be banned from this city for being a Dallas fan!"
"I can't help it. Troy Aikman stole my heart his rookie year and I've been a fan ever since, even after he retired I've stayed loyal to the team. I am no fairweather fan."
"Well, there's no accounting for some people's taste."
"I know eh? Like all these crazy Sidney Crosby fans! I really don't see what the big deal is."
"Ahhhhhh, memories of when we met!"
"I didn't know you were so sentimental!"
We both laughed at each other.
When we were back upstairs I looked at the clock and realized I needed to go pick Alex and Jake up from school.
"Well I hate for your day of power shopping to come to an end, but I have to go get the boys and I'm sure you have things to do. I really appreciate your help... and everything else for that matter, but I guess you should go."
"Or, I could just...stay?
"What's the matter Crosby...tired?" I asked with a smirk.
"Nope, I could go for hours yet," he said leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
"Great! 'Cause now we have to hide it all!"
"Ugh, where? Do you have room for all this stuff?"
"Might I remind you that you are the one responsible for the majority of this stuff! If it wasn't for you, I would not have bought half this stuff!!"
That cheeky grin appeared across his lips and he got a devilish look in his eyes.
"Yeah, but the kids are going to have fun Christmas morning!"
I led him to the basement and the secret hiding spot under the stairs. We packed it full and then he spotted all the boxes labelled 'Xmas decorations'.
"Wouldn't they be more decorative if they were actually out?" he laughed.
"I know," I said shaking my head in disgust at myself. "The boys have been all over me because the tree isn't up yet. I am sooooo late this year! That's our Thanksgiving tradition. We watch the football games and then decorate the tree after dinner. I've just been so busy with work I haven't thought about it much, but that is my goal for tonight."
"Football fans huh?'
"Yep, Cowboys baby!"
"You should be banned from this city for being a Dallas fan!"
"I can't help it. Troy Aikman stole my heart his rookie year and I've been a fan ever since, even after he retired I've stayed loyal to the team. I am no fairweather fan."
"Well, there's no accounting for some people's taste."
"I know eh? Like all these crazy Sidney Crosby fans! I really don't see what the big deal is."
"Ahhhhhh, memories of when we met!"
"I didn't know you were so sentimental!"
We both laughed at each other.
When we were back upstairs I looked at the clock and realized I needed to go pick Alex and Jake up from school.
"Well I hate for your day of power shopping to come to an end, but I have to go get the boys and I'm sure you have things to do. I really appreciate your help... and everything else for that matter, but I guess you should go."
"Or, I could just...stay?
Sidney's POV
It's all I can do do keep my eyes on the road and not on her. I was totally taken by surprise when she opened the door this morning. I'd never realized I hadn't seen her in 'real' clothes. She was so beautiful and she didn't even know it. I could tell it made her uncomfortable when I complimented her. Oh well, she'd better get used to it!
I snuck a peek at her sitting beside me looking out the window. I smiled to myself when I thought about the exchange we had just had at the arena. She could be so feisty and defensive at times and I loved every second of it! It's not like we were really fighting, it was more like a battle of wills with neither of us willing to concede. It was so exhilarating to be with her. It didn't matter that our relationship was not headed in the direction I wanted...yet. Mario had reminded me that starting out as friends could only be beneficial. You get to know everything about the other person; their likes, dislikes, true personality because they're not constantly trying to impress you, and most importantly, all the little quirks that drive you crazy and only come out after it's too late! You also learn if it's even possible to take the relationship to the next level. That's how he and Nathalie started out and it's turned out pretty well for them!
She looked at me and caught me staring at her. Instead of looking away like she usually would she held my gaze. Is it possible that those beautiful eyes got even more blue? They looked like little crystal clear lakes that I could see my own reflection in. Neither of us said a word yet the silence was not awkward. She gave me a little angelic smile before turning back to look out her window.
She's killing me and she's not even aware of the effect she has on me! I wanted to pull the car over and kiss those luscious lips! Snap out of it Crosby! You don't want to blow it now. You're making progress breaking down those walls. Be patient. Yeah right!
"Ready to shop Crosby?" I loved it when she used my last name!
"Sure am," I replied pulling into a parking spot.
"Good thing you wore your Reeboks 'cause you're gonna need them to keep up!"
I snuck a peek at her sitting beside me looking out the window. I smiled to myself when I thought about the exchange we had just had at the arena. She could be so feisty and defensive at times and I loved every second of it! It's not like we were really fighting, it was more like a battle of wills with neither of us willing to concede. It was so exhilarating to be with her. It didn't matter that our relationship was not headed in the direction I wanted...yet. Mario had reminded me that starting out as friends could only be beneficial. You get to know everything about the other person; their likes, dislikes, true personality because they're not constantly trying to impress you, and most importantly, all the little quirks that drive you crazy and only come out after it's too late! You also learn if it's even possible to take the relationship to the next level. That's how he and Nathalie started out and it's turned out pretty well for them!
She looked at me and caught me staring at her. Instead of looking away like she usually would she held my gaze. Is it possible that those beautiful eyes got even more blue? They looked like little crystal clear lakes that I could see my own reflection in. Neither of us said a word yet the silence was not awkward. She gave me a little angelic smile before turning back to look out her window.
She's killing me and she's not even aware of the effect she has on me! I wanted to pull the car over and kiss those luscious lips! Snap out of it Crosby! You don't want to blow it now. You're making progress breaking down those walls. Be patient. Yeah right!
"Ready to shop Crosby?" I loved it when she used my last name!
"Sure am," I replied pulling into a parking spot.
"Good thing you wore your Reeboks 'cause you're gonna need them to keep up!"
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