Chapter 53

"I don't know how you could possibly believe this is what's best for everyone. It's not best for you, or the boys, or Sid. If you love him, you need to fight for him, screw Troy!"
"It's not that simple Lil. It's not just a matter of Troy not liking me, it's the damage I could do to Sid's career. I can't do that to him."
"So what are you going to do, completely walk away? Not see or talk to him ever again? Not go to anymore games? How do you think you're going to pull that off?"
"I'm hoping after the way I treated him, he won't want to see or talk to me."
"I'll tell you right now that's not gonna happen. He's going to give you some time. He thinks you'll come around if he leaves you alone for a bit, but he is NOT giving up on you. He told me that straight up. He senses how you feel about him Bek, he's not going to walk away from that! I hope you have a plan B if you're serious about it being over."
"Not yet, but I will do whatever it takes to make him forget about me."
"And in the meantime, what am I supposed to tell him? He's expecting me to call him and let him know what's going on."
"Make something up. Tell him that I had a complete emotional breakdown, that Christmas pushed me over the edge. Tell him I'm just too damaged and not over what I went through with Jeff and I'll never be able to have a healthy relationship. I don't really care what you tell him, but it better be believable!"
"My first loyalty will always be to you Bekah, but for the record, I do not feel good about lying to him, he deserves better. And I just want to go on record as saying that I think this is a huge mistake that you are making, but I will support you."
"You're right about one thing. He does deserve better...better than me. He deserves to reap the benefits of everything this world has to offer him, everything he worked his entire life to achieve. That's what he deserves."
"True. But he also deserves to be happy, and you my dear, make him happy."

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Lily took the boys back to her place to let Bekah have the rest of the day to wallow in her sorrow before she had to go back to work the next day. When the boys were occupied with one of their new games, Lily sat and stared at her phone. She knew she had to call him, but was putting it off as long as she could.
'What am I going to tell him? How can I lie to him knowing how he feels about her and how she feels about him?' she thought to herself.
Just then the ringing of her cell phone snapped her out of her own thoughts. She knew the time had come.
"Hello?"
"Lily, it's Sid. I know you said you would call me, but it's been hours. I can't take it anymore! Is she okay? What happened?"
"I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet, but I just left her not that long ago." Lie number one.
"Is she okay?"
"Physically yes. Emotionally... all I can say is it's not good news."
"Tell me what happened."
"Are you sure? You're not going to like it."
"I need to know," he said solemnly.
"Well, I've never seen her like this. She is an emotional wreck. She said Christmas pushed her over the edge."
"Wait, Christmas?" Sid asked very confused. "I thought it was special, how did it..." he trailed off.
"You have to remember Sid, Bekah has never had anyone treat her the way you do. She's used to being shit on, not treated like a queen and it scared her. And when she realized you were developing a bond with the boys, she snapped and basically reverted back to the same state of mind she was in when she left Jeff. She's not over it and she never will be until she gets help to deal with it...professional help. I've been trying to convince her see someone since she moved here, but she won't hear of it. The poor girl has had so much tragedy in her life. Nobody can suffer that kind of pain and not need help getting over it... Anyways, I honestly thought that you were bringing her out of it, that maybe it was possible for her to get involved in a relationship. But after what I witnessed today, that's just not the case. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but there is nothing you can do to fix this. No amount of time or space will make her come around. She will never be ready for any kind of relationship until she deals with her issues. I'm so, so sorry Sidney, but I really do think it's best if you do as she asks and just walk away."
He was silent on the other end of the phone. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke. His voice cracked and Lily could tell he was crying again.
"I pushed her to an emotional breakdown?" his voice was fearful and shaky.
"It's not your fault Sid. She just has too much to deal with and the holidays are always a particularly hard time for her. Please don't blame yourself."
"You're sure...sure there's no way... nothing I can do?"
"If there was, I would be the first person to tell you. Believe me, I wish it were different."
"Me too," Sid said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I'm sooooooooooooooo sorry Sid," Lily said barely able to contain her own tears now. It was breaking her heart to see two people who were so obviously in love with each other have to be apart. It wasn't right.
"Thanks Lily...for trying. For everything really."
"If there's anything else I can ever do..."
"I know. Just let me know how she's doing every now and then. I need to know that she'll be okay."
"You got it. Take care of yourself Sid."
"Goodbye Lily."

Lily and the boys watched the game on t.v. that night and Lily did not like what she saw. Sid was not himself. He was making stupid mistakes and playing full of anger and aggression. He took stupid penalties...alot of them, and at one point beat the shit out of his stick while he was in the box. Out of habit, he kept looking for Bekah, hoping against hope that she'd be there. For the first time all season, her seat was empty...and so was his heart.
Lily was not the only one who didn't like what they saw. Mario and Troy sat high above the ice and watched Sid self destructing in complete disbelief. When the game was over Mario looked at Troy and said, "So...still think you're doing what's best for him?"