'Slow down stupid! She's not calling you at home, she's calling your cell.' I thought to myself. Getting in an accident would just not be the way to top off this perfect night. 'No, the perfect ending would be having her in my arms.' My heart was racing and I couldn't keep up with my own thoughts. 'Deep breaths Crosby, settle down.' I inhaled deeply a few times but it only reminded me of Bekah outside in the snow. I was in complete awe of her simplistic beauty when she closed her eyes and inhaled the cold night air. The moonlight lit her face and when she smiled I swear it was like looking at an angel. And what are the chances she is the one person who gets the 'smell of the ice'? Could this girl be any more perfect? I had to laugh out loud as I thought back to the playful banter we exchanged. It was so exhilarating to have someone actually challenge me. I couldn't believe what a huge turn on it was! Mario was right about one thing, she was certainly very strong-willed and did not put false pretenses on for anyone. She is a definite what you see is what you get girl. I was so happy that I had decided to confide in Mario about her. I know he was concerned about me getting in over my head, but he never said a negative word. Quiet and subtle support, that was Mario.
My mind drifted back to when those elevator doors opened and I saw her standing there. I was at one of the lowest points I had ever been at, worried about Mario and here was this angel sent to me to make it better. I was convinced there could be no other logical explanation. She was so genuinely concerned not only for Mario but for me, I could see it in her eyes. Those beautiful baby blue eyes that melted my heart every time she looked at me. After tonight I was sure I had not been imagining the connection between us. There were definitely fireworks! And I was making progress breaking down that wall she put up. She actually let her guard down a little and I got some valuable insight to her soul. I can't wait until the next time we're together!
'Fuck Crosby, you are getting waaaaaay ahead of yourself here. Baby steps! I know tonight was a breakthrough, but you can't rush this. If you push to hard you risk losing her,' I thought to myself as I pulled into the driveway at Mario's. Remember, good things are worth waiting for. Now you just have to wait and see of she calls.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Chapter 14
"So...was that the Bekah?" Mario asked when Sid returned to say goodnight. He had told Mario about her after the disappointing day at her house. He was crazy about her and needed to talk to someone. Sid recounted every minute he had spent with Bekah, leaving nothing out. Mario has promised Sid he would not say anything to Troy on the condition that Sidney remained focused on hockey and not her.
"The very one. I had no idea she worked here, I ran into on the elevator. So....?"
"So what?"
"Oh come on Mar! What did you think?"
Mario chuckled at Sid's exuberance. He was like a little kid waiting for daddy's approval.
"Well...your description really did not do her justice. She's beautiful, even in those scrubs. And she has clearly been blessed with brains as well. I can see why you're smitten."
Sid was relieved. He knew Mario wasn't done yet though. He felt a 'but' coming on.
"But?" Sid prompted.
"But, you need to be careful here Sid. She is not like the other girls you meet. She is obviously strong-willed and capable of taking care of herself. She's not going to follow you around like a lost puppy. And she is definitely not going to put up with any of your shit."
"I know. That's what I love about her!"
And with that, Sid said goodnight and told Mario not to worry.
***************
"Ready to go beautiful?" Sid said as he appeared at her side.
"I was ready to go about 6 hours ago," I said with half a drowsy smile. Sid looked a little confused. "I'm sorry Sid. I'm coming off a 16 hour shift and I am simply exhausted. Pay no attention to anything I say and I apologize in advance if I offend you."
"Well it wouldn't be the first time," he said smiling.
"Ha ha very funny!"
The elevator doors closed behind him and for the first time since the day at her house, they were alone together.
Sid's expression softened as he looked into my eyes. "You were pretty incredible tonight," he said quietly.
"Why? Because I could read a medical chart? That's my job Sidney, nothing incredible about it."
"Not just that. I was a little surprised that you even agreed to help me given the circumstances. You will never know how much it means to me. I was really starting to worry. Thank you."
Those brown eyes burning into mine were hypnotizing. 'Stay in control," I told myself.
"What can I say. I just wanted to meet Mario!" I joked in an effort to lighten the mood.
"Oh, I see how it works! Who cares about the guy who's scared to death as long as you get to meet Mario. It's always about Mario!"" he said laughing.
"Well he is 'Le Magnifique'!"
The doors opened to the lobby and we stepped out still giggling. "Where did you park?" Sid asked.
"Seriously Sid, you don't have to walk me to my car."
"It's the least I can do for the beautiful nurse who saved me from what would have been a sleepless night."
"Alright," I said shaking my head, "out the doors and to the far left."
The sliding doors opened and the first thing I noticed was the smell of the fresh snow that was falling. I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.
"Are you ok?" Sid asked.
"Mmmm. Perfect. I love the smell of fresh snow. It's almost as good as..." I stopped.
"Almost as good as what?"
I hesitated. "Almost as good as the smell of a clean sheet of ice," I said looking down at the ground.
Sid stared at me in disbelief. " Clean ice is one of my favourite smells! I've never met anyone who felt the same way. Most people don't even realize ice has it's own distinct smell!"
"I grew up in arenas too," I said quietly not wanting to elaborate.
"Really? I didn't really picture you as a figure skater!"
"I wasn't."
Just as Sid was about to reply, he stepped down off the curb and landed flat on that beautifully sculpted butt of his! I burst out laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe.
"Mr. Hockey couldn't handle a little ice in the parking lot?" I finally managed to say. "Maybe you should just keep your skates on Crosby!"
Sid managed a smirk as he got up to his feet. He wrinkled his nose before he too started to laugh at his own expense. He brushed himself off and then offered me his arm.
"What are you doing?", I asked.
"Well we wouldn't want you to repeat my stellar performance. I'll help you get over the ice." All I could think of in that moment was what a true gentleman he was. When most grown men would have been embarrassed or disgusted with themselves this kid was worried about me!
I linked my arm with his and we started to make our way across the nearly empty parking lot. I could feel the pure strength in his arm as he tensed his muscles to give me something sturdy to hang on to. Was there anything wrong with this guy? Seriously! Could he be more perfect? I soon got my answer.
"Well, this is me," I said as I unlocked my door with the remote. Without letting go of my arm, Sid slid in front of me and opened my door.
"Do you have a snow brush?" he asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Snow brush? Do you have one?"
"This is Pittsburgh," I retorted.
"Well, smart ass, can I have it then?"
"Why, don't you have one of your own?"
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" he said smirking. "I just want to clean off your car for you."
I handed him the brush and got in to start the car to let it warm up. When he was done, he gently tapped on my window. I opened the door and got out.
"There you go, you're all set!" he said looking proud of himself.
"Thank you, but you really..." he cut me off.
"You really have to work on losing the 'but'. Just Thank you will do."
"Thank you," I replied sheepishly.
"Now, Do you have a cell phone?"
"Of course!"
"May I see it please?"
"What for?"
"Has anyone ever told you you ask too many questions? Just give me the damn thing!"
I handed him my phone. He started pushing alot of buttons.
"What are you doing?"
"Just give me a minute."
"Just give me my phone!"
"There, done. Here," he said handing the phone back to me. "I programed my cell number in there. Promise me that you will call me to let me know that you got home ok. It's getting late and the roads are slippery. You cured one worry for me tonight, I don't want to have to worry about you."
Wow! This guy is slick!
"I'll be fine. I make this drive every night and so far so good!"
"Must you be so stubborn?"
"Yes, it's my nature!" I said batting my eyelashes at him.
"Cute. Very cute! Need I remind you that I know where you live and if you don't call me when you get home you will be forcing me to leave the warmth of my own house to go back out in the cold and drive all the way over to your house just to check for myself?"
"Well we definitely don't want a penguin to go back out in the cold now do we!"
Sidney just shook his head. "You think you're sooooooooo funny don't you?"
"You have to admit, I am quite impressive!"
"In more ways than you know. Now without the sarcasm, promise me you'll call."
"You drive a hard bargain Crosby! Fine. I will call."
I went to get back into the car and he gently grabbed my arm. I turned to look at him and he pulled me into his strong embrace once again. My entire body was overcome with the most incredible tingling sensation. His voice was almost inaudible as he whispered in my ear. "You were amazing tonight. I was really scared and you helped put my mind at ease. I can't thank you enough."
"You just did," I whispered back.
He kissed my forehead and opened the door for me once again.
"Drive safely," he said. "And don't forget..."
"Call you when I get home. I promise."
"The very one. I had no idea she worked here, I ran into on the elevator. So....?"
"So what?"
"Oh come on Mar! What did you think?"
Mario chuckled at Sid's exuberance. He was like a little kid waiting for daddy's approval.
"Well...your description really did not do her justice. She's beautiful, even in those scrubs. And she has clearly been blessed with brains as well. I can see why you're smitten."
Sid was relieved. He knew Mario wasn't done yet though. He felt a 'but' coming on.
"But?" Sid prompted.
"But, you need to be careful here Sid. She is not like the other girls you meet. She is obviously strong-willed and capable of taking care of herself. She's not going to follow you around like a lost puppy. And she is definitely not going to put up with any of your shit."
"I know. That's what I love about her!"
And with that, Sid said goodnight and told Mario not to worry.
***************
"Ready to go beautiful?" Sid said as he appeared at her side.
"I was ready to go about 6 hours ago," I said with half a drowsy smile. Sid looked a little confused. "I'm sorry Sid. I'm coming off a 16 hour shift and I am simply exhausted. Pay no attention to anything I say and I apologize in advance if I offend you."
"Well it wouldn't be the first time," he said smiling.
"Ha ha very funny!"
The elevator doors closed behind him and for the first time since the day at her house, they were alone together.
Sid's expression softened as he looked into my eyes. "You were pretty incredible tonight," he said quietly.
"Why? Because I could read a medical chart? That's my job Sidney, nothing incredible about it."
"Not just that. I was a little surprised that you even agreed to help me given the circumstances. You will never know how much it means to me. I was really starting to worry. Thank you."
Those brown eyes burning into mine were hypnotizing. 'Stay in control," I told myself.
"What can I say. I just wanted to meet Mario!" I joked in an effort to lighten the mood.
"Oh, I see how it works! Who cares about the guy who's scared to death as long as you get to meet Mario. It's always about Mario!"" he said laughing.
"Well he is 'Le Magnifique'!"
The doors opened to the lobby and we stepped out still giggling. "Where did you park?" Sid asked.
"Seriously Sid, you don't have to walk me to my car."
"It's the least I can do for the beautiful nurse who saved me from what would have been a sleepless night."
"Alright," I said shaking my head, "out the doors and to the far left."
The sliding doors opened and the first thing I noticed was the smell of the fresh snow that was falling. I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.
"Are you ok?" Sid asked.
"Mmmm. Perfect. I love the smell of fresh snow. It's almost as good as..." I stopped.
"Almost as good as what?"
I hesitated. "Almost as good as the smell of a clean sheet of ice," I said looking down at the ground.
Sid stared at me in disbelief. " Clean ice is one of my favourite smells! I've never met anyone who felt the same way. Most people don't even realize ice has it's own distinct smell!"
"I grew up in arenas too," I said quietly not wanting to elaborate.
"Really? I didn't really picture you as a figure skater!"
"I wasn't."
Just as Sid was about to reply, he stepped down off the curb and landed flat on that beautifully sculpted butt of his! I burst out laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe.
"Mr. Hockey couldn't handle a little ice in the parking lot?" I finally managed to say. "Maybe you should just keep your skates on Crosby!"
Sid managed a smirk as he got up to his feet. He wrinkled his nose before he too started to laugh at his own expense. He brushed himself off and then offered me his arm.
"What are you doing?", I asked.
"Well we wouldn't want you to repeat my stellar performance. I'll help you get over the ice." All I could think of in that moment was what a true gentleman he was. When most grown men would have been embarrassed or disgusted with themselves this kid was worried about me!
I linked my arm with his and we started to make our way across the nearly empty parking lot. I could feel the pure strength in his arm as he tensed his muscles to give me something sturdy to hang on to. Was there anything wrong with this guy? Seriously! Could he be more perfect? I soon got my answer.
"Well, this is me," I said as I unlocked my door with the remote. Without letting go of my arm, Sid slid in front of me and opened my door.
"Do you have a snow brush?" he asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Snow brush? Do you have one?"
"This is Pittsburgh," I retorted.
"Well, smart ass, can I have it then?"
"Why, don't you have one of your own?"
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" he said smirking. "I just want to clean off your car for you."
I handed him the brush and got in to start the car to let it warm up. When he was done, he gently tapped on my window. I opened the door and got out.
"There you go, you're all set!" he said looking proud of himself.
"Thank you, but you really..." he cut me off.
"You really have to work on losing the 'but'. Just Thank you will do."
"Thank you," I replied sheepishly.
"Now, Do you have a cell phone?"
"Of course!"
"May I see it please?"
"What for?"
"Has anyone ever told you you ask too many questions? Just give me the damn thing!"
I handed him my phone. He started pushing alot of buttons.
"What are you doing?"
"Just give me a minute."
"Just give me my phone!"
"There, done. Here," he said handing the phone back to me. "I programed my cell number in there. Promise me that you will call me to let me know that you got home ok. It's getting late and the roads are slippery. You cured one worry for me tonight, I don't want to have to worry about you."
Wow! This guy is slick!
"I'll be fine. I make this drive every night and so far so good!"
"Must you be so stubborn?"
"Yes, it's my nature!" I said batting my eyelashes at him.
"Cute. Very cute! Need I remind you that I know where you live and if you don't call me when you get home you will be forcing me to leave the warmth of my own house to go back out in the cold and drive all the way over to your house just to check for myself?"
"Well we definitely don't want a penguin to go back out in the cold now do we!"
Sidney just shook his head. "You think you're sooooooooo funny don't you?"
"You have to admit, I am quite impressive!"
"In more ways than you know. Now without the sarcasm, promise me you'll call."
"You drive a hard bargain Crosby! Fine. I will call."
I went to get back into the car and he gently grabbed my arm. I turned to look at him and he pulled me into his strong embrace once again. My entire body was overcome with the most incredible tingling sensation. His voice was almost inaudible as he whispered in my ear. "You were amazing tonight. I was really scared and you helped put my mind at ease. I can't thank you enough."
"You just did," I whispered back.
He kissed my forehead and opened the door for me once again.
"Drive safely," he said. "And don't forget..."
"Call you when I get home. I promise."
Monday, July 21, 2008
Chapter 14
I couldn't believe Christmas was only 2 1/2 weeks away! When was I going to have time to shop? The answer was simple: quit working extra shifts! Take a day for myself. Lily had been preaching those exact words to me for the past month.
"You've got to slow down girl. You're going to run yourself into the ground and then you'll be no good to anyone!"
I knew she was right. I finally have in and asked one of the other nurses to take my shift for the next day and she happily agreed. I was coming of a 16 hour shift in the neo-natal unit, a tough place to work on the best of days, but I found it especially tough around the holidays. The last few hours of my shift I wasn't feeling well at all. I had that sick feeling in my stomach again. Great! I finally take a day off to get my shopping done and I'm probably going to end up sick in bed! It wasn't until I was getting ready to go home that I realized I didn't feel sick, but it was that feeling of something being wrong. I stopped at the nurse's station to say goodbye to Sandy and Heather and overheard the end of their conversation:
"Yeah, Patti from 12th floor said Mario Lemieux checked himself in this afternoon."
"What?" I interrupted.
"Apparently he was having trouble breathing or something and checked himself in. Nobody really knows what's going on, it's being kept very hush hush."
My first thought was to pray that it was nothing serious. This was my hero after all. After surviving cancer he seemed almost invincible. Then my thoughts immediately turned to Sidney. After reading every article written about him and watching every interview he gave (just to torture myself of course!) I knew that he lived with Mario and how close to him he was. What must Sid be feeling right now? I pushed the button for the elevator and when the doors opened I got my answer.
"Oh my god, Bekah, you work here?" he said completely shocked.
"Sidney! Umm yeah, I work on the children's ward. This is so bizarre, I was actually just thinking about you," I said stepping into the elevator.
"Really?" he said confused. "Good thoughts I hope," he said and tried to muster a smile.
He looked the same as he did the other night at the game. That light in his eyes was gone and he looked completely exhausted. I was beginning to wonder if he had been crying.
"One of the nurses just told me that Mario was admitted. What happened? Is he ok?"
"I don't really know," Sidney said looking totally dejected. "All I know it that it has something to do with his heart. No one will tell me anything, not even Nathalie and that has me worried. Trouble with your heart is really serious isn't it?"
"It can be," I said softly.
Sid threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "I knew it! I knew it was serious!"
I reached for his hands and held them securely in both of mine. Sid looked at me with those hazel eyes, some of the life filling them up again.
"I said it can be serious, not that it was. Let's not jump to conclusions."
His grip tightened around my hands. "Can you come up there with me and see what you can find out? Surely you can find out more than what they're telling me."
"Oh Sid, I can't go up there. It's not even my department. If I get caught snooping around I could get in serious trouble."
"What if you're not snooping? What if you are just visiting a patient with a friend and you happen to look at his chart?"
"Seriously Sid, I can't."
His eyes were pleading with me now. "Bekah, PLEASE! This is important to me."
I looked at the face that I had come to adore so much and how could I say no.
"Fine, but I only have a few minutes. I really have to get home."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate this so much!" he said kissing my hands.
***********
When we got to Mario's room, I waited outside while Sid checked to see if anyone was in there. I was starting to get butterflies. I had dreamed of meeting Mario my whole life, but not under these circumstances.
"Coast is clear," Sid said poking his head out of the door. "We'll just have to be quiet, he's sleeping."
Sid stood beside Mario's bed looking down on him. You could see the love and admiration in his eyes. I looked at the man who had been gram and David's idol lying in this hospital bed and thought once again how fragile life can be, even for people we think are invincible, like Mario and like David. I felt tears starting to come so I lifted the chart from the end of Mario's bed and began to flip through the papers. Sid now took a place right beside me.
"Well?" he whispered. "Does it make any sense to you?"
"From what I can tell from some of the test results there is no damage to the organ, so that rules out a heart attack."
A look of relief washed over Sidney's face.
"And they have him on a heart monitor. From the readings it looks like an irregular heartbeat. That's what the doctor wrote as an initial diagnosis."
"Irregular heartbeat, is that serious?"
"Only if it goes undiagnosed. It's usually controlled with medication but I can't say for sure, I'm not a doctor. You'll have to wait and see what he says in the morning. But Sid?"
"Yeah?"
"You can probably count on Mario's playing days being done...for good."
Just then Mario started to stir.
"Siddy? Is that you?"
"Yeah Mar, it's me."
"I thought you went home?"
"I was going to but then I ran into a friend of mine." Sid grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bedside. "Mario, I'd like you to meet my friend Bekah. She's a nurse here and she has promised me that she'll take good care of you."
After exchanging knowing glances with Sidney, Mario lifted his hand to shake mine. "It nice to meet you Bekah. I'm glad I'm going to be in such good hands."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Lemieux. I've dreamed of meeting you for a very long time, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances. And for the record, Sid here is full of it! I work in the children's ward so I will not be the one taking care of you."
"Please, call me Mario and you don't have to tell me the kid's full of shit!" Mario chuckled. "There is a reason his eyes are brown!"
"Hey hey hey! How did this turn into pick on Sid day?"
"Ohhhh poor Sidney. Suck it up buttercup!" I laughed. "Listen, as much as I could stay here all night 'picking on you', I really have to be going. It was nice meeting you Mario. Make sure you get some rest. Goodbye Sidney," and I turned to walk out the door. I was just about there when I felt a familiar hold on my hand.
"Hey Bekah wait up a sec. Can you just wait for a minute? I'd like to say goodnight to Mario and then I'll walk you to your car. You shouldn't be leaving alone at night."
"We have security guards for that Sid."
"Please?"
Against my better judgement I agreed.
"You've got to slow down girl. You're going to run yourself into the ground and then you'll be no good to anyone!"
I knew she was right. I finally have in and asked one of the other nurses to take my shift for the next day and she happily agreed. I was coming of a 16 hour shift in the neo-natal unit, a tough place to work on the best of days, but I found it especially tough around the holidays. The last few hours of my shift I wasn't feeling well at all. I had that sick feeling in my stomach again. Great! I finally take a day off to get my shopping done and I'm probably going to end up sick in bed! It wasn't until I was getting ready to go home that I realized I didn't feel sick, but it was that feeling of something being wrong. I stopped at the nurse's station to say goodbye to Sandy and Heather and overheard the end of their conversation:
"Yeah, Patti from 12th floor said Mario Lemieux checked himself in this afternoon."
"What?" I interrupted.
"Apparently he was having trouble breathing or something and checked himself in. Nobody really knows what's going on, it's being kept very hush hush."
My first thought was to pray that it was nothing serious. This was my hero after all. After surviving cancer he seemed almost invincible. Then my thoughts immediately turned to Sidney. After reading every article written about him and watching every interview he gave (just to torture myself of course!) I knew that he lived with Mario and how close to him he was. What must Sid be feeling right now? I pushed the button for the elevator and when the doors opened I got my answer.
"Oh my god, Bekah, you work here?" he said completely shocked.
"Sidney! Umm yeah, I work on the children's ward. This is so bizarre, I was actually just thinking about you," I said stepping into the elevator.
"Really?" he said confused. "Good thoughts I hope," he said and tried to muster a smile.
He looked the same as he did the other night at the game. That light in his eyes was gone and he looked completely exhausted. I was beginning to wonder if he had been crying.
"One of the nurses just told me that Mario was admitted. What happened? Is he ok?"
"I don't really know," Sidney said looking totally dejected. "All I know it that it has something to do with his heart. No one will tell me anything, not even Nathalie and that has me worried. Trouble with your heart is really serious isn't it?"
"It can be," I said softly.
Sid threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "I knew it! I knew it was serious!"
I reached for his hands and held them securely in both of mine. Sid looked at me with those hazel eyes, some of the life filling them up again.
"I said it can be serious, not that it was. Let's not jump to conclusions."
His grip tightened around my hands. "Can you come up there with me and see what you can find out? Surely you can find out more than what they're telling me."
"Oh Sid, I can't go up there. It's not even my department. If I get caught snooping around I could get in serious trouble."
"What if you're not snooping? What if you are just visiting a patient with a friend and you happen to look at his chart?"
"Seriously Sid, I can't."
His eyes were pleading with me now. "Bekah, PLEASE! This is important to me."
I looked at the face that I had come to adore so much and how could I say no.
"Fine, but I only have a few minutes. I really have to get home."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate this so much!" he said kissing my hands.
***********
When we got to Mario's room, I waited outside while Sid checked to see if anyone was in there. I was starting to get butterflies. I had dreamed of meeting Mario my whole life, but not under these circumstances.
"Coast is clear," Sid said poking his head out of the door. "We'll just have to be quiet, he's sleeping."
Sid stood beside Mario's bed looking down on him. You could see the love and admiration in his eyes. I looked at the man who had been gram and David's idol lying in this hospital bed and thought once again how fragile life can be, even for people we think are invincible, like Mario and like David. I felt tears starting to come so I lifted the chart from the end of Mario's bed and began to flip through the papers. Sid now took a place right beside me.
"Well?" he whispered. "Does it make any sense to you?"
"From what I can tell from some of the test results there is no damage to the organ, so that rules out a heart attack."
A look of relief washed over Sidney's face.
"And they have him on a heart monitor. From the readings it looks like an irregular heartbeat. That's what the doctor wrote as an initial diagnosis."
"Irregular heartbeat, is that serious?"
"Only if it goes undiagnosed. It's usually controlled with medication but I can't say for sure, I'm not a doctor. You'll have to wait and see what he says in the morning. But Sid?"
"Yeah?"
"You can probably count on Mario's playing days being done...for good."
Just then Mario started to stir.
"Siddy? Is that you?"
"Yeah Mar, it's me."
"I thought you went home?"
"I was going to but then I ran into a friend of mine." Sid grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bedside. "Mario, I'd like you to meet my friend Bekah. She's a nurse here and she has promised me that she'll take good care of you."
After exchanging knowing glances with Sidney, Mario lifted his hand to shake mine. "It nice to meet you Bekah. I'm glad I'm going to be in such good hands."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Lemieux. I've dreamed of meeting you for a very long time, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances. And for the record, Sid here is full of it! I work in the children's ward so I will not be the one taking care of you."
"Please, call me Mario and you don't have to tell me the kid's full of shit!" Mario chuckled. "There is a reason his eyes are brown!"
"Hey hey hey! How did this turn into pick on Sid day?"
"Ohhhh poor Sidney. Suck it up buttercup!" I laughed. "Listen, as much as I could stay here all night 'picking on you', I really have to be going. It was nice meeting you Mario. Make sure you get some rest. Goodbye Sidney," and I turned to walk out the door. I was just about there when I felt a familiar hold on my hand.
"Hey Bekah wait up a sec. Can you just wait for a minute? I'd like to say goodnight to Mario and then I'll walk you to your car. You shouldn't be leaving alone at night."
"We have security guards for that Sid."
"Please?"
Against my better judgement I agreed.
Cahpter 13
I tried to put my recent drama with Sidney out of my mind, a task much easier said than done. I went back to my normal life which was made even more hectic with the addition of getting 2 boys to and from hockey practises and games. It's tough to manage for any family but being a single parent made it harder. I believe that when you have kids you do whatever it takes to give them the best opportunities and the best life possible. I obviously didn't have that growing up so I was going to make damn sure my boys did. All I can say is thank god for Lily and the Parkers next door! The helped me out alot. The Parkers were a charming older couple who never had any children of their own so they treated Alex and Jake like their own grandchildren. It was the closest thing they had to grandparents.
I threw myself into my work, picking up any extra shift that I could. I still managed to make it to all the Pens games, but like before didn't stick around until the end. Sidney still made a point of skating by and smiling at me, throwing a wink in every now and then, and I returned the gestures. The last few games he wasn't his normal self. Something was bothering him, the light in his eyes was gone and he barely mustered a smile for me. "Well Bekah, looks like he has gotten over you," I thought to myself. I had gotten what I wanted, so why did it hurt so much?
I left the game that night with a knot in my stomach. Something was wrong...very wrong, I could feel it. Was it Sidney? Was it me? Or was it the disappointment at the reality that Sidney had moved on?
I threw myself into my work, picking up any extra shift that I could. I still managed to make it to all the Pens games, but like before didn't stick around until the end. Sidney still made a point of skating by and smiling at me, throwing a wink in every now and then, and I returned the gestures. The last few games he wasn't his normal self. Something was bothering him, the light in his eyes was gone and he barely mustered a smile for me. "Well Bekah, looks like he has gotten over you," I thought to myself. I had gotten what I wanted, so why did it hurt so much?
I left the game that night with a knot in my stomach. Something was wrong...very wrong, I could feel it. Was it Sidney? Was it me? Or was it the disappointment at the reality that Sidney had moved on?
Chapter 12
"Holy shit," Lily thought to herself looking around the disaster in the kitchen. "What the hell happened in here?"
She went to the family room where she found Bekah sleeping on the couch holding the picture of her brother tightly against her. She knew something terrible must have happened.
"Bekah, wake up!" she said gently shaking her.
"Hmmmm?"
"Wake up. What the hell happened here, and don't you dare say nothing because I know you'll be lying. You don't hold David's picture for no reason, now spill."
The tears began to flow freely again as I recounted the events of the past 24 hours making sure not to leave out any of the juicy details. When I was done, Lily said nothing.
"Lil, what am I supposed to do?"
She looked at me for a bit before she exploded.
"You get on the phone or down to that arena or whatever it is you have to do and you throw yourself at his feet and beg for forgiveness! You tell him that you must have been temporarily insane and that you changed your mind. What do you mean 'what do you do?' Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Will you please be serious Lil."
"I have never been more serious in my life Bekah. I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings but how long do you plan on being a victim?"
"A what?"
"A victim. I know you had a shitty life growing up and that you've suffered huge losses. And I know that Jeff was a lousy son of a bitch that doesn't deserve to breathe the same air you do, but for christ sakes Bekah! As long as you keep yourself shut down and locked away you are letting your family and that asshole win. Do you really think that hiding yourself away is honouring your grandmother or your brother's memory? Do you think they would want you to live like this?"
"Wow, that's pretty harsh don't you think? And don't tell me what my gram or my brother would have wanted for me, you don't know them!" I screamed at her and instantly began crying again.
Lily sat down beside me and put her arms around me.
"No, I didn't know them," she said softly, "but I do know you. And I'm sure that everything that is good in you came from them, because it sure as hell didn't come from your parents."
She had a point.
"Bekah, they loved you and I love you so listen good. You have what appears to be a sweet, sensitive wonderful and extremely sexy guy that cares about you and doesn't care that you have 2 kids and you just pushed him away. And he happens to be Sidney freaking Crosby! This kind of thing doesn't come along very often Bek. Are you prepared to let this opportunity pass you by? It may not come around again."
"I have to Lil. It's not even about not wanting to date anymore. Do I need to remind you that he is 18 and I am 30? That in itself is a HUGE obstacle. Not to mention that he is probably one of the most famous people in the world, he's followed everywhere he goes and he constantly has microphones and cameras shoved in his face. What kind of life is that? Not only for him but for me and the boys? I can't put myself or Alex and Jake in that kind of situation. Sid is 18 and has his whole life ahead of him. Someday he will find the right girl for him, one without all the excess baggage, and he will have forgotten that I ever existed. Trust me Lil, this is best for everyone."
"Don't you think he should be the judge of what's best for him?"
"My mind is made up Lil. I don't want to talk about Sidney Crosby anymore."
"Ok! Just one more question though. If you don't want him, can I have him? Come on friend, hook a girl up!"
"Funny Lil. Real funny."
We were both laughing hysterically.
"Thanks Lil, I needed that!"
She went to the family room where she found Bekah sleeping on the couch holding the picture of her brother tightly against her. She knew something terrible must have happened.
"Bekah, wake up!" she said gently shaking her.
"Hmmmm?"
"Wake up. What the hell happened here, and don't you dare say nothing because I know you'll be lying. You don't hold David's picture for no reason, now spill."
The tears began to flow freely again as I recounted the events of the past 24 hours making sure not to leave out any of the juicy details. When I was done, Lily said nothing.
"Lil, what am I supposed to do?"
She looked at me for a bit before she exploded.
"You get on the phone or down to that arena or whatever it is you have to do and you throw yourself at his feet and beg for forgiveness! You tell him that you must have been temporarily insane and that you changed your mind. What do you mean 'what do you do?' Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Will you please be serious Lil."
"I have never been more serious in my life Bekah. I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings but how long do you plan on being a victim?"
"A what?"
"A victim. I know you had a shitty life growing up and that you've suffered huge losses. And I know that Jeff was a lousy son of a bitch that doesn't deserve to breathe the same air you do, but for christ sakes Bekah! As long as you keep yourself shut down and locked away you are letting your family and that asshole win. Do you really think that hiding yourself away is honouring your grandmother or your brother's memory? Do you think they would want you to live like this?"
"Wow, that's pretty harsh don't you think? And don't tell me what my gram or my brother would have wanted for me, you don't know them!" I screamed at her and instantly began crying again.
Lily sat down beside me and put her arms around me.
"No, I didn't know them," she said softly, "but I do know you. And I'm sure that everything that is good in you came from them, because it sure as hell didn't come from your parents."
She had a point.
"Bekah, they loved you and I love you so listen good. You have what appears to be a sweet, sensitive wonderful and extremely sexy guy that cares about you and doesn't care that you have 2 kids and you just pushed him away. And he happens to be Sidney freaking Crosby! This kind of thing doesn't come along very often Bek. Are you prepared to let this opportunity pass you by? It may not come around again."
"I have to Lil. It's not even about not wanting to date anymore. Do I need to remind you that he is 18 and I am 30? That in itself is a HUGE obstacle. Not to mention that he is probably one of the most famous people in the world, he's followed everywhere he goes and he constantly has microphones and cameras shoved in his face. What kind of life is that? Not only for him but for me and the boys? I can't put myself or Alex and Jake in that kind of situation. Sid is 18 and has his whole life ahead of him. Someday he will find the right girl for him, one without all the excess baggage, and he will have forgotten that I ever existed. Trust me Lil, this is best for everyone."
"Don't you think he should be the judge of what's best for him?"
"My mind is made up Lil. I don't want to talk about Sidney Crosby anymore."
"Ok! Just one more question though. If you don't want him, can I have him? Come on friend, hook a girl up!"
"Funny Lil. Real funny."
We were both laughing hysterically.
"Thanks Lil, I needed that!"
Sidney's POV
I sat in my car, not being able to leave. What just happened? I replayed the entire conversation over and over in my mind. It seemed like I was going to make some progress, she even started to open up a bit. I thought I'd actually get to know something more about her. I guess I did, she's 30. 30. That's not so bad. It's only 12 years. I can hear my dad going ballistic now! 'What's everyone going to think? The media will eat you guys alive.' I don't even care about any of that shit. I don't care if one single person ever knew as long as I could be with her. Who am I kidding? There is no way to keep something like this private forever, and she 's right about one thing. It's not just her, she does have those 2 beautiful boys to think about. I'm so confused. I totally get how she could think I'm too young for her, but if she got to know me she'd see that I'm not a typical 18 year old. But this whole not dating thing is just...bizare. What on earth happened to this girl to make her give up on love? Someone had to have really hurt her. And what about her family? Why did she get so tense when I brought them up? I could see the pain in her eyes, and she bit her bottom lip alot. Something she must do when she's tense or nervous. It was just so adorable! Bekah seemed to be full of mysteries that I needed to solve. Thinking about this all I wanted to do was go back in there, hold her in my arms and tell her everything would be ok. Just to kiss her lips again, those beautiful soft lips... But she had practically begged me to leave her alone. How could I not respect what she wanted? I have to. I am just going to have to be patient and see where this journey will lead me. After all, good things are worth waiting for, and she is definately worth it! All the way home I just kept telling myself 'if it's meant to be it will happen.'
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Chapter 11
As soon as that front door closed behind him I collapsed on the floor. I was sobbing uncontrollably, my mind racing a thousand miles a minute. What just happened? Sidney Crosby was in my house. Sidney Crosby sent for me to come back and meet him. Sidney Crosby sent me flowers. Sidney Crosby was making fun of my apron. Sidney Crosby ate my cookies. Sidney Crosby thought we had a connection. Sidney Crosby wanted to spend time with me. It felt like I was losing my mind. I think I could have dealt with everthing until he called me Beks. That sent me over the edge! How would he even come up with that? The normal short form would be Bek, no one ever adds the 's'! The second it left his lips memories of gram and David came flooding back. I don't know how I held back the tears long enough to yell at him. Oh god! I yelled at Sidney Crosby! He must think I'm stark raving mad for losing it over something as small as a nickname! I don't care. It was a special nickname and I didn't want anyone else calling me by it. So why did I get all tingly inside when he said it? Why did he make me feel this way? I am so fucking confused.
I went to the shelf at the end of the room and took David's picture down. I clutched it against my chest and laid down on the couch. I closed my eyes and thought about how much I missed my beloved brother. He had always been there for me whenever I needed him. I can't remember a time that I needed him more than I did right now.
"David, if you're up there listening, help me! Tell me what all this is supposed to mean. Why did Sidney Crosby have to come into my life? I was fine before I met him and now look at me! I'm a mess! Why did he have to be so wonderful and sweet? He reminds me alot of you David. Warm and caring. Always giving of himself, just like you did. I said some harsh things to him and I really didn't mean them, but it's too late to say I'm sorry now. Please David, give me a sign. Anything to reassure me that I did the right thing, because even though I know in my head that my reasons are logical, it sure doesn't feel like it in my heart. Please, help me Da..."
And as I drifted off to sleep, I thought of those strong hands gently holding my face and those beautiful bee stung lips kissing mine.
I went to the shelf at the end of the room and took David's picture down. I clutched it against my chest and laid down on the couch. I closed my eyes and thought about how much I missed my beloved brother. He had always been there for me whenever I needed him. I can't remember a time that I needed him more than I did right now.
"David, if you're up there listening, help me! Tell me what all this is supposed to mean. Why did Sidney Crosby have to come into my life? I was fine before I met him and now look at me! I'm a mess! Why did he have to be so wonderful and sweet? He reminds me alot of you David. Warm and caring. Always giving of himself, just like you did. I said some harsh things to him and I really didn't mean them, but it's too late to say I'm sorry now. Please David, give me a sign. Anything to reassure me that I did the right thing, because even though I know in my head that my reasons are logical, it sure doesn't feel like it in my heart. Please, help me Da..."
And as I drifted off to sleep, I thought of those strong hands gently holding my face and those beautiful bee stung lips kissing mine.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Chapter 10
Sorry guys, this is a lone one, but hang in there with me, it'll be worth it!
Was he fucking kidding? Flowers? And that card. Could he be any more cheesy? I caught myself chuckling at the words on the card. Damn it! How is this guy able to slide right into my mind? Wait. How the hell did he get my address? First he knows that I have season tickets and where they are. Now, after explicitly turning down his invitation for coffee, he knows my address? This is getting a little bit creepy! How does he know my personal information? I guess there's only one way to find out. I'll have to go to the source himself. Wait, I can't do that. How am I supposed to get a hold of him? And of I try to get in touch with him, then it's going to look like I'm interested and I do NOT want to give him that impression. What a fucking mess! How the hell did I get into this predicament? Bake! I need to bake something! Whenever I am upset or stressed out I bake. It relaxes me.
3 hours later, I was covered head to toe in flour and chocolate chip cookies covered every square inch of counter space that I had. I was looking at my mountains of cookies thinking how excited the kids at the hospital would be when I brought them in for them to eat when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Is this Rebekah?"
"Yes."
"Hey, it's Sidney."
I was stunned. Actually speachless for the first time in my life.
"Uhhh, hello? Rebekah, are you still there?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Good. I was just calling to see if you recieved the flowers."
Get a grip girl. "Yes I did and they're beautiful thank you."
"You are very welcome. I was hoping..."
"Look Sidney, let's just cut to the chase ok. I think we should get something straight here."
"I would feel more comfortable if we had this conversation in person," he said.
"Well I don't see how that is going to possible since..."
"Since I'm in your neighbourhood and have some time to kill? I'll be there in 2 minutes."
Before I could protest he hung up the phone. Now I was REALLY irritated. Who did this cocky bastard think he was inviting himself to my home? OH MY GOD! My house! Sidney was coming to my house! I couldn't think. Just as I looked around at my kitchen realizing what a total disaster it was, the doorbell rang. Without thinking I opened it. Those beautiful brown eyes gave me the once over.
"Nice apron! Is that flour all over your face?" he was laughing.
"Well it's not like you gave me much notice before just showing up at my front door, which by the way is rude." I was soooo not amused.
"Hey, I called first so technically that is not classified as just showing up. What is that amazing smell?"
"Chocolate chip cookies if you must know."
"Ooooh, my favourite!" After a slight awkward silence he said, "With the risk of being called rude again, are you going to leave me standing out here or can I come in? It is a little chilly out here!"
All I could do was move to one side letting him step past me. He carefully looked at his surroundings taking note of all the photos of the boys that hung on the walls and at the far end of what he pressumed was the family room, a shelf full of medals and what appeared to be hockey trophies and one lone photograph of a boy.
"Make sure to ask her about those," he thought to himself.
"You have a beautiful home. Cozy."
"Thanks. I have cookies that need to come out of the oven, so if you want to talk you'll have to follow me into the kitchen."
I took my pan of cookies out of the oven and turned around to find Sid standing in the middle of the room, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head."
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"Who exactly are you baking cookies for, the entire city of Pittsburgh?"
"Very funny! No actually. If you must know, when I'm upset or stressed out I bake."
"What do you have to be stressed out about?"
"Well, to be honest, you."
"Me! How do I stress you out?"
"Sidney, how exactly did Nate find me last night? And how did you get my address and my phone number? And how did you know yellow roses are my favourite?"
"Is that what's stressing you out?"
"Answer the damn question," I said alot more harshly than I meant to.
"Alright. I knew that you had been to most of our home games and that you were always in the same section. So on a hunch, I had a girl in the ticket office look you up in the season ticket subscriptions and voila! There you were. Now it was something else to get her to give me your address and phone number. I won't even tell you what I had to promise her!"
"Eeww. I really don't want to know!"
Sid was laughing. "It's nothing like that! I just have to autograph a bunch of stuff for her kids and their friends."
"Oh," I said feeling slightly embarrassed.
"As for the roses, that was a lucky guess. So was that the source of your stress and all these cookies? Wondering how I got your address and phone number?"
"Not just that."
"What else?"
"Look Sid, I appreciate you being so great with my boys, and the flowers and the effort you put into finding me, but just in case I wasn't clear enough last night I'll say it again. I'm not sure what your intension is here, but I am not interested in whatever it is. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but there's just no other way I can say it."
"May I have one of those cookies?"
"Wh...what?"
"Cookies. May I have one please?"
"I guess. Did you hear anything I just said?"
"I sure did," he said taking a bite of the cookie I gave him. "I must say, these are the best damn cookies I have ever tasted!"
"And?"
"And...may I have another one?"
"Sidney! Focus please. I can't do this with you! You are impossible."
"Do what? Look, I have only met you a few times and each time you have been able to surprise me. That never happens. I'm intrigued. All I want to do is spend some time and get to know you. Who knows, maybe we'll even become friends."
"Friends? That's what all this is about? You want to be my friend?"
"Well, as long as we're being honest, no. But that's a good place to start don't you think?"
"No, I don't think so. I can't even begin to tell you how wrong this is on so many levels."
"Try me."
I was not expecting that.
"Well, for one thing there is the age difference."
" Age doesn't matter. My firm philosophy is that age is just a number. There is so much more to people than how many years they've been alive."
Not expecting that either.
"Just for the sake of your argument though, how many years are we talking?"
"Well, I'm 30. So yeah, that does matter. Not to mention the other little details of my children.I have 2 of them and Alex is only 6 years younger than you! You could be brothers for christ sake. Not exactly the lifestyle of an 18 year old hockey phenom with his whole life ahead of him."
"I'm not a normal 18year old," Sid replied. "And besides, I think your kids are great."
"Yeah, great as fans, but how great do you think they'll be on a daily basis when you're trying to parent them?"
"Whoa, slow down girl! I'm just talking about dating here, not getting marrried!"
"Well, that's kind of my point. I'm not an 18 year old girl that has no responsiblities and can date whoever she wants. I don't have that luxury. My reality is that I have 2 kids and every decision I make affects them. I can't just bring strange men in and out their lives which brings me to my next point."
"And that would be?"
"I don't date. Period. That's my rule and I am not about to break it. Not even for Sidney Crosby."
"So let me get this straight. You're telling me that because you have kids, you don't date? So you're just going to be alone for the rest of your life? That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard."
I could feel my face getting redder with every word he spoke. Now I was furious.
"Well, I guess that just shows your immaturity. You are probably not even capable of putting another persons needs before your own. And I do not appreciate being called stupid!"
"I wasn't calling you stupid. I just think it's stupid to think that you need to be alone just because you have kids. Don't you think they want their mom to be happy?"
"It's not just beacuse I have kids. It's a choice I made for myself a long time ago. And who says I'm not happy? I do not need a man in my life to be happy. I have great kids, a great career and wonderful friends. I was perfectly happy until I met you."
"Ouch! That stung. What about family? I didn't hear you mention a great family?"
"This conversation has gone on long enough. I think I have made my position perfectly clear. Now if you don't mind, I think it's time for you to leave."
"I think we have a special connection here Beks, and I'm not prepared to give up on that."
I whipped my head around to face him.
"What did you just call me?"
"Umm, I don't know. Beks I think."
"Don't EVER, EVER call me that!"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you but Rebekah is so long and formal."
"Bekah will do."
"Did you hear what I said before?"
"No."
"I said that I think we have something speacial here. I know you feel it too. I'm not willing to give up on that yet."
"Please Sidney, " I said softly as I looked into his eyes. " If you have any kind of feelings for me at all you will respect my wishes and leave me alone. It just has to be this way." My eyes were pleading with him.
"Bekah, I care about you very much. I still think we owe it to ourselves to see where this could go, but I will do my best to respect your wishes. I can tell you this. I will not cut you out of my life completely, but I will back off. You are a very special woman Bekah. You deserve love too."
And with that, Sidney gently cupped my face in his hands and kissed my lips ever so softly. Then he was gone.
Was he fucking kidding? Flowers? And that card. Could he be any more cheesy? I caught myself chuckling at the words on the card. Damn it! How is this guy able to slide right into my mind? Wait. How the hell did he get my address? First he knows that I have season tickets and where they are. Now, after explicitly turning down his invitation for coffee, he knows my address? This is getting a little bit creepy! How does he know my personal information? I guess there's only one way to find out. I'll have to go to the source himself. Wait, I can't do that. How am I supposed to get a hold of him? And of I try to get in touch with him, then it's going to look like I'm interested and I do NOT want to give him that impression. What a fucking mess! How the hell did I get into this predicament? Bake! I need to bake something! Whenever I am upset or stressed out I bake. It relaxes me.
3 hours later, I was covered head to toe in flour and chocolate chip cookies covered every square inch of counter space that I had. I was looking at my mountains of cookies thinking how excited the kids at the hospital would be when I brought them in for them to eat when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Is this Rebekah?"
"Yes."
"Hey, it's Sidney."
I was stunned. Actually speachless for the first time in my life.
"Uhhh, hello? Rebekah, are you still there?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Good. I was just calling to see if you recieved the flowers."
Get a grip girl. "Yes I did and they're beautiful thank you."
"You are very welcome. I was hoping..."
"Look Sidney, let's just cut to the chase ok. I think we should get something straight here."
"I would feel more comfortable if we had this conversation in person," he said.
"Well I don't see how that is going to possible since..."
"Since I'm in your neighbourhood and have some time to kill? I'll be there in 2 minutes."
Before I could protest he hung up the phone. Now I was REALLY irritated. Who did this cocky bastard think he was inviting himself to my home? OH MY GOD! My house! Sidney was coming to my house! I couldn't think. Just as I looked around at my kitchen realizing what a total disaster it was, the doorbell rang. Without thinking I opened it. Those beautiful brown eyes gave me the once over.
"Nice apron! Is that flour all over your face?" he was laughing.
"Well it's not like you gave me much notice before just showing up at my front door, which by the way is rude." I was soooo not amused.
"Hey, I called first so technically that is not classified as just showing up. What is that amazing smell?"
"Chocolate chip cookies if you must know."
"Ooooh, my favourite!" After a slight awkward silence he said, "With the risk of being called rude again, are you going to leave me standing out here or can I come in? It is a little chilly out here!"
All I could do was move to one side letting him step past me. He carefully looked at his surroundings taking note of all the photos of the boys that hung on the walls and at the far end of what he pressumed was the family room, a shelf full of medals and what appeared to be hockey trophies and one lone photograph of a boy.
"Make sure to ask her about those," he thought to himself.
"You have a beautiful home. Cozy."
"Thanks. I have cookies that need to come out of the oven, so if you want to talk you'll have to follow me into the kitchen."
I took my pan of cookies out of the oven and turned around to find Sid standing in the middle of the room, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head."
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"Who exactly are you baking cookies for, the entire city of Pittsburgh?"
"Very funny! No actually. If you must know, when I'm upset or stressed out I bake."
"What do you have to be stressed out about?"
"Well, to be honest, you."
"Me! How do I stress you out?"
"Sidney, how exactly did Nate find me last night? And how did you get my address and my phone number? And how did you know yellow roses are my favourite?"
"Is that what's stressing you out?"
"Answer the damn question," I said alot more harshly than I meant to.
"Alright. I knew that you had been to most of our home games and that you were always in the same section. So on a hunch, I had a girl in the ticket office look you up in the season ticket subscriptions and voila! There you were. Now it was something else to get her to give me your address and phone number. I won't even tell you what I had to promise her!"
"Eeww. I really don't want to know!"
Sid was laughing. "It's nothing like that! I just have to autograph a bunch of stuff for her kids and their friends."
"Oh," I said feeling slightly embarrassed.
"As for the roses, that was a lucky guess. So was that the source of your stress and all these cookies? Wondering how I got your address and phone number?"
"Not just that."
"What else?"
"Look Sid, I appreciate you being so great with my boys, and the flowers and the effort you put into finding me, but just in case I wasn't clear enough last night I'll say it again. I'm not sure what your intension is here, but I am not interested in whatever it is. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but there's just no other way I can say it."
"May I have one of those cookies?"
"Wh...what?"
"Cookies. May I have one please?"
"I guess. Did you hear anything I just said?"
"I sure did," he said taking a bite of the cookie I gave him. "I must say, these are the best damn cookies I have ever tasted!"
"And?"
"And...may I have another one?"
"Sidney! Focus please. I can't do this with you! You are impossible."
"Do what? Look, I have only met you a few times and each time you have been able to surprise me. That never happens. I'm intrigued. All I want to do is spend some time and get to know you. Who knows, maybe we'll even become friends."
"Friends? That's what all this is about? You want to be my friend?"
"Well, as long as we're being honest, no. But that's a good place to start don't you think?"
"No, I don't think so. I can't even begin to tell you how wrong this is on so many levels."
"Try me."
I was not expecting that.
"Well, for one thing there is the age difference."
" Age doesn't matter. My firm philosophy is that age is just a number. There is so much more to people than how many years they've been alive."
Not expecting that either.
"Just for the sake of your argument though, how many years are we talking?"
"Well, I'm 30. So yeah, that does matter. Not to mention the other little details of my children.I have 2 of them and Alex is only 6 years younger than you! You could be brothers for christ sake. Not exactly the lifestyle of an 18 year old hockey phenom with his whole life ahead of him."
"I'm not a normal 18year old," Sid replied. "And besides, I think your kids are great."
"Yeah, great as fans, but how great do you think they'll be on a daily basis when you're trying to parent them?"
"Whoa, slow down girl! I'm just talking about dating here, not getting marrried!"
"Well, that's kind of my point. I'm not an 18 year old girl that has no responsiblities and can date whoever she wants. I don't have that luxury. My reality is that I have 2 kids and every decision I make affects them. I can't just bring strange men in and out their lives which brings me to my next point."
"And that would be?"
"I don't date. Period. That's my rule and I am not about to break it. Not even for Sidney Crosby."
"So let me get this straight. You're telling me that because you have kids, you don't date? So you're just going to be alone for the rest of your life? That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard."
I could feel my face getting redder with every word he spoke. Now I was furious.
"Well, I guess that just shows your immaturity. You are probably not even capable of putting another persons needs before your own. And I do not appreciate being called stupid!"
"I wasn't calling you stupid. I just think it's stupid to think that you need to be alone just because you have kids. Don't you think they want their mom to be happy?"
"It's not just beacuse I have kids. It's a choice I made for myself a long time ago. And who says I'm not happy? I do not need a man in my life to be happy. I have great kids, a great career and wonderful friends. I was perfectly happy until I met you."
"Ouch! That stung. What about family? I didn't hear you mention a great family?"
"This conversation has gone on long enough. I think I have made my position perfectly clear. Now if you don't mind, I think it's time for you to leave."
"I think we have a special connection here Beks, and I'm not prepared to give up on that."
I whipped my head around to face him.
"What did you just call me?"
"Umm, I don't know. Beks I think."
"Don't EVER, EVER call me that!"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you but Rebekah is so long and formal."
"Bekah will do."
"Did you hear what I said before?"
"No."
"I said that I think we have something speacial here. I know you feel it too. I'm not willing to give up on that yet."
"Please Sidney, " I said softly as I looked into his eyes. " If you have any kind of feelings for me at all you will respect my wishes and leave me alone. It just has to be this way." My eyes were pleading with him.
"Bekah, I care about you very much. I still think we owe it to ourselves to see where this could go, but I will do my best to respect your wishes. I can tell you this. I will not cut you out of my life completely, but I will back off. You are a very special woman Bekah. You deserve love too."
And with that, Sidney gently cupped my face in his hands and kissed my lips ever so softly. Then he was gone.
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