I was used to spending holidays by myself, but it sure didn't make it any easier. To make it worse, the boys chose to sleep over at their friend's house and celebrate with them and Lily was working.
It was about 8:00 when my phone alerted me to a new text message. I was almost afraid to look. The last message I had received was from Sidney and that didn't go so well. I'm sure he was still furious with me. I didn't know what else to do but let him believe Scott and I were together. He was right, it was cruel, but maybe it would make it easier for him.
"Having a wonderful time. Game was good (for a hockey game) Your boy was on fire! Dinner is fab. Can't wait to tell you everything. Have a happy new year. Glo."
I closed my phone. I was happy that I was able to do something for Scott and Gloria. Their whole lives had been inside the four walls of the hospital and they needed to get out and spend time together. And Sid was on fire? Maybe he was being fueled by his anger towards me. As much as it killed me inside to think of him hurting because of me, it was better me than his father.
I settled in for a long night of solitude. I got in my favourite flannel pj's, popped some popcorn, got my favourite blanket and put in my favourite movie of all time, Pure Country. God I loved George Strait! He wasn't the best actor but I loved the whole premise of the story: scorned woman falls in love with handsome stranger that turns out to be one of the most famous country singers in the world and she has no idea who he is! Gets me every time!
It was just about at the best part of the movie, when she finds out who he really is, and I was poised with my box of Kleenex, ready for one of the most beautiful love songs ever (I always said it would be my wedding song) when a knock at my door startled me. I stopped the DVD, angry that I was interrupted. It was probably Mr. Parker with a last ditch effort to get me to celebrate the New Year with them. "No one should be alone tonight," they had told me earlier when I declined their invitation.
I wrapped the blanket around me and opened the door. I was not expecting what was waiting for me on the other side.
"Wh...wh...what...are you doing here?" I asked totally stunned.
"We need to talk."
"I've said everything I need to say, you should go," I say trying to shut the door.
"Maybe you have, but I haven't." He muscled his way through the door like I was a feather leaning against it. "Now you're going to listen!"
"Sidney, there really is nothing left to say," I said softly. "It's over, why can't you just accept it and leave me alone?"
"Because I know."
"Know what?"
"I know."
"I'm so not in the mood for this right now Sid. You should go," I said grabbing his arm and trying to guide him back to the door.
"NO!" he raised his voice to me and it took me off guard. Stopped me dead in my tracks actually. He turned around to face me, held both my arms and looked deep into my eyes.
"You can stop the charade now Beks," he said taking a softer tone once again. He rested his forehead against mine. "It's over... I know."
"For Christ sakes," I said pulling back from him. "You know what?"
He tightened the grip he had on my arms and said, "the truth. I know the truth. About my father, everything."
I felt my legs give out underneath me and he acted instinctively to catch me before I fell. He guided me over to the couch, and there we sat. Silent. I was trying to fathom the words he just said to me but I couldn't.
After a long reflection I asked, "How? Who?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer to both my questions.
"Before I tell you, you have to promise me you won't be angry with her."
"Lily! I knew it! How could she?" Too late, I was mad!
"It wasn't Lily."
Now I was confused. "Well then who?"
"Promise you won't be angry."
"I can't make that promise."
"Promise?"
"Fine. Now who?"
He hesitated before speaking. "I met your friends Scott and Gloria this afternoon," he began.
"I can't believe her! How could she..."
"Ah ah ah. You promised."
My anger was starting to be taken over by fear.
"What exactly did she tell you?"
"Everything. The whole story. What my dad said to you at the game...everything. Beks, I'm soooooooooooooo sorry. He had no right to say those things to you. It was wrong," Sidney said thoughtfully as he reached for my hand.
"You...you believe her?" I asked doubtfully.
"Yes," he replied softly. "But Bekah, it was lies, all lies. He was just angry with me because he asked me to stop spending time with you and I refused. He figured if he couldn't control me, he'd try and get to you... and it worked. He made up that bullshit story about hurting my career and sponsorships because he knew it would take something drastic to tear us apart. But it's over now. The truth is out and we are free to be together."
Sidney leaned in to kiss me but I backed away. I was having a hard time digesting this information he was sharing with me.
"Wait a second! Just like that? You think you can just swoop in here and tell me you know the truth and poof! Now we can be together? I'm sorry pal, but it doesn't work that way! The fact still remains that your father doesn't like me and he doesn't want us to be together. I can't be in a relationship with that kind of added pressure. New relationships are hard enough. This one would be even worse given who you are. I can't handle this right now, probably not ever."
"What are you saying?"
I sighed. "I'm saying, I think maybe your dad was right. Maybe not about what would happen, but about us being together. I just don't think it's a good idea." I could literally feel my heart breaking as I said those words to him yet again.
He sat silently, not even looking at me. He got up off the couch and took a few steps. 'This is it,' I thought. 'He'll be out of your life forever in a few short seconds.' I fought to hold back the tears. Before I knew what was happening he was kneeling on the ground in front of me and held both my hands in his. He was looking at me with those caramel eyes and my heart instantly started to beat faster.
"I didn't want it to be like this, but you haven't left me any choice." His voice was barely above a whisper. He gripped my hands tightly and pulled them towards his chest, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. I could feel his hands trembling.
"Rebekah Jones, I love you," he said kissing both my hands. "I love you and I want to be with you. You and your boys. Nothing or no one is going to change that." He looked up at me only to find the familiar sight of me crying. "Do you love me?"
After a few moments of sobbing I managed to find a bit of a voice.
"I...Sid...oh god...it's...it's so...complicated." I struggled to find the right words.
"It's not complicated. This is probably the least complicated part of our whole relationship. Do you love me, yes or no?"
I dropped my head trying to gather my thoughts. I was so tired of fighting. Tired of struggling, tired of lying. I just wanted to be done with it all. Life is much too short. I took another deep breath before raising my head and looking into those beautiful eyes.
"Yes, I love you."
There. Done.
Judging by the look on his face, you would think that was not the answer he was expecting.
"You...you do?"
"Of course I do. Sidney, how could I not?"
The beautiful bright smile that had been missing from his face appeared once again before he jumped up, scooped me up in a bear hug and twirled me around in one fluid motion. He put me back on the ground and wrapped his arms around my waist. He leaned his forehead against mine once again. Through that smile of his he managed to say, "You love me."
"And you love me," I retorted. "Now what?"
He smiled that oh so devilish smile while pulling back from me just enough to cup my face in his masculine hands.
"Now this," he said leaning in still smiling.
His luscious lips grazed mine ever so gently and my knees went weak at the moment of impact. He teased my lips with his until neither of us could stand it anymore. His mouth enveloped mine and with one smooth motion, parted my lips with his powerful tongue. It was warm and wet and moved expertly around mine until we found a perfect rhythm. His hands moved around from my face where one found it's place on the back of my head running it's fingers through my hair, while the other one made it's final destination the small of my back. Gently caressing and pulling me closer, tightly against his well toned body. I reached up to run my fingers through the deep brown curls that were starting to form at the nape of his neck, then slowly moved down to trace the outline of every muscle in his back, each one quivering as I caressed it. He picked me up and carried me to the couch laying me down gently never removing his lips from mine. We were both lost in the moment when a strange yet familiar voice startled me and I started to giggle. It was George, or rather his character 'Dusty' getting ready to sing the song he wrote for the woman he was in love with. Sid must of have put me down on top of the remote.
I gasped. "You have to hear this," I said excitedly. "This is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. It's so raw and pure. I used to dream that it would be my wedding song, preferably when I married him."
"Competition huh? I'll have to do something about that," Sid chuckled.
"Yeah, cause George Strait is going to come in here and sweep me off my feet!"
"I think I'll be the only one doing the sweeping around here," he said in a husky voice that I had never heard before. As the music began, he pulled me up into his arms.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world on New Year's Eve," he replied tenderly.
I couldn't do anything but melt into his arms. This was by far the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me. We began swaying in time to the music. As the words began, Sidney was looking deep into my eyes.
Our love is unconditional
We knew it from the start
I see it in your eyes
You can feel it from my heart
From here on after
Let's stay the way we are right now
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow
I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine.
You will always be the miracle
That makes my life complete
And as long as there's a breath in me
I'll make yours just as sweet
As we look into the future
It's as far as we can see
So let's make each tomorrow
Be the best
That it can be.
I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine.
And if along the way
We find a day
It starts to storm
You've got the promise of my love
To keep you warm.
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine.
A love as true as mine.
We continued our dance long after the song had ended. A tear rolled down his cheek as he lifted my chin towards his face. He kissed me gently on the lips and whispered, "That was perfect."
He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his chest. We fit perfectly together. He was big enough that I was completely enveloped by his embrace and his chin could rest on the top of my head.
"I love you Beks," he whispered in my ear.
"I love you too Sidney," I said tightening my grasp around his waist.
"Happy New Year Sidney," I said quietly.
"It certainly is," he replied before leaning down to kiss me once again.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Chapter 59
Gloria held Scott's hand as Nate led them down to the locker room. Scott was still unable to speak a coherent sentence and Gloria's nerves were starting to take over. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that she was faced with the prospect of breaching Bekah's trust and destroying the image and respect the world's best hockey player had of his father, she wasn't so sure.
They arrived at the door of the locker room and the couple both took long deep breaths as they listened to Nate's instructions. Gloria knew that once she walked through that door there was no going back. She prayed she was doing the right thing.
Nate led them to a small room off of the locker room where there were easily another 75 people anxiously waiting.
"The players are just finishing up with the media and then they'll be out to meet and greet. Wait here and I'll be back with Mr. Crosby."
Gloria's voice was shaky as she thanked Nate and watched him walk away.
"Are you okay honey?" she asked Scott as she gently caressed his back.
"I...I'm just in shock still. I can't believe she did all this for us. How are we ever going to be able to thank her, or repay her? She is truly an incredible person."
"Yes she is, and don't worry, we'll think of something to do to thank her."
Sidney appeared at the doorway with a small entourage in front of him and Marc-Andre by his side. He surveyed the room until his eyes fell upon the face of the man that was forever engraved in his brain and the lovely woman he was with.
"That's them over there," Sid said to Marc motioning his head towards the couple.
"And that's his wife with him?"
"That's what I've been told."
"And she supposedly knows the truth about what's going on with Bekah?"
"That's what her letter said."
"Do you believe her?"
"What choice do I have? I can't get answers from anywhere else, so I'm at least going to listen to what she has to say and go from there. That's where you come in."
"What do you want me to do?" Marc asked rather surprised.
"Can you take her husband around to meet the rest of the guys? Keep him busy so I can talk to this Gloria."
"Sure, I guess. I'll do just about anything if it means we'll get the old Sid back instead of this miserable, depressing one."
"Gee thanks alot Flower!"
Nate led Sid and Marc over to where Scott and Gloria were patiently (or not so patiently in Gloria's case) waiting.
"Scott and Gloria McDonald, this is Sidney Crosby and Marc-Andre Fleury," Nate said before slipping into the background.
"It is so nice to meet both of you," Scott said nervously shaking both men's hands.
"It's nice to meet both of you as well," Sidney replied. "I understand you're friends of Bekah's. How do you know her?"
"Our son is a patient of hers at the Children's hospital," Gloria answered.
"The McDonalds?" Sidney thought out loud. "Is your son...is his name Dylan?"
"Yes it is!" Scott replied in complete surprise. "How did you know that?"
"I remember Bekah telling me about your family when you first arrived. She was really torn up when she first met you. I'm sorry for everything you and your son are going through," Sidney said thoughtfully.
"Thank you," Gloria replied. "Bekah has been a rock for us the past while. She's amazing."
"I couldn't agree more," Sidney smiled. "Scott, Marc is going to take you around and introduce you to the rest of the team if that's alright with you?"
"It's more than alright," Scott squealed. "Are you coming Gloria?"
"You go ahead and have fun. I'm just going to hang back here out of the way."
"If you say so," he said giving her a peck on the cheek before disappearing into the crowd of people with Marc.
"Shall we go somewhere a little more quiet?" Sidney asked.
"Sure," was all Gloria could manage to say.
As she followed Sidney down a short hallway into another small room, her heart started racing and the doubts she had about what she was about to do flooded her mind.
Those doubts disappeared when she sat across the table from Sidney and saw the pain and hope in his eyes. She took a deep breath and began the sad tale of which he was a main character.
"Let me just start by saying you are not going to be happy with what I am about to tell you. You will most definitely not want to believe what I have to say, but I assure you, every word is the truth. I am probably overstepping my bounds here, but I can't sit by and watch two people who so clearly belong together, be kept apart by something so stupid." Gloria took another deep breath. "Are you ready?" she asked him.
"You have my attention," Sidney replied solemnly.
Gloria slowly began telling him about the fateful night at the game. She watched his face carefully trying to read what he might be thinking, looking for clues that it was okay to continue.
When she mentioned his father's name he perked up briefly before his forehead wrinkled, his perfectly shaped eyebrows raised and his ears started to turn a light shade of pink.
"Shall I continue?" she asked cautiously.
Sidney nodded in silence. He listened in disbelief as Gloria continued with the ugly details of harsh words he couldn't believe would have come out of his father's mouth. When she was finished, he bowed his head and they sat in silence for what seemed like and eternity. She felt so bad for him. Gloria reached across the table and put her hand on top of his.
"I think it's important for you to know that she only agreed to do this because of how much she cares about you. She honestly believes what your dad has told her and that this really is the best thing for you. She would never dream of doing anything to hurt you or your career."
When Sidney finally raised his head, she was shocked to see the tears that were slowly rolling down his cheeks.
"But she has. If what you say is true, then why couldn't she tell me the truth?" he asked quietly.
"I begged her to, but she said you were so close to your father and she would not be responsible for damaging your relationship in any way. It was better for you to be mad at her, it would help you get over her faster and then you could move on."
"Move on? Did she really think I would just be able to forget about her and move on? And my father? I can't believe he would do something so deceitful and hurtful."
"The thing is, they both love you and believe they are doing what's best for you. How would Bekah know the difference? She took what your dad told her as the truth. He's just a father protecting his son and that's something she totally gets right?"
For a brief moment she saw a light in his eyes.
"She...loves me?"
UH OH!
"She's never actually said those words," Gloria said trying to cover her tracks, "but that's what I believe."
"I see," he said rather calmly. "Thank you for telling me the truth. I appreciate it. Bekah is lucky to have a friend like you."
"Are you okay?" she asked knowing it was a stupid question the minute the words left her mouth.
"Not really. I just found out that my father has filled the woman I love's head full of complete bullshit! Bullshit, that knowing her the way I do, I will never be able to convince her is bullshit!" A light bulb went off in Sidney's head at that moment.
"It all makes sense now! Why she left the game early that night, the phone calls she wouldn't answer...everything. It's all my father's doing."
Gloria had never seen a face that particular shade of red before. She started to wonder what she had done.
"So you believe me?" she asked in disbelief.
"Well, I wouldn't have before now, but yes. Earlier that day he had asked me to stop seeing her and I refused. I guess he figured if he couldn't get me to cooperate, he'd have better luck with her. Un-fucking-believable!"
"What are you going to do?" she asked hesitantly.
It was like the question was a needle that she had just popped his balloon with.
"Do?" his shoulders dropped. "I have no idea. I am so furious right now, I want to go confront my dad...ahh shit!"
"What?"
"It's New Year's Eve."
"Yeah so?" Gloria was confused by the sudden change of subject.
"I'm supposed to be at a party at Mario's...with my parents. Not exactly the proper venue for the kind of confrontation we're going to have. I don't even know if I can be in the same room with him and be civil I'm so pissed off."
"Well, ya know...nah never mind," Gloria said rather slyly.
"Ohhhhhh no, you can't do that! Finish what you were going to say."
She smiled a sneaky little smile before saying, "I was always taught that you should bring in the new year with the one you love!"
They arrived at the door of the locker room and the couple both took long deep breaths as they listened to Nate's instructions. Gloria knew that once she walked through that door there was no going back. She prayed she was doing the right thing.
Nate led them to a small room off of the locker room where there were easily another 75 people anxiously waiting.
"The players are just finishing up with the media and then they'll be out to meet and greet. Wait here and I'll be back with Mr. Crosby."
Gloria's voice was shaky as she thanked Nate and watched him walk away.
"Are you okay honey?" she asked Scott as she gently caressed his back.
"I...I'm just in shock still. I can't believe she did all this for us. How are we ever going to be able to thank her, or repay her? She is truly an incredible person."
"Yes she is, and don't worry, we'll think of something to do to thank her."
Sidney appeared at the doorway with a small entourage in front of him and Marc-Andre by his side. He surveyed the room until his eyes fell upon the face of the man that was forever engraved in his brain and the lovely woman he was with.
"That's them over there," Sid said to Marc motioning his head towards the couple.
"And that's his wife with him?"
"That's what I've been told."
"And she supposedly knows the truth about what's going on with Bekah?"
"That's what her letter said."
"Do you believe her?"
"What choice do I have? I can't get answers from anywhere else, so I'm at least going to listen to what she has to say and go from there. That's where you come in."
"What do you want me to do?" Marc asked rather surprised.
"Can you take her husband around to meet the rest of the guys? Keep him busy so I can talk to this Gloria."
"Sure, I guess. I'll do just about anything if it means we'll get the old Sid back instead of this miserable, depressing one."
"Gee thanks alot Flower!"
Nate led Sid and Marc over to where Scott and Gloria were patiently (or not so patiently in Gloria's case) waiting.
"Scott and Gloria McDonald, this is Sidney Crosby and Marc-Andre Fleury," Nate said before slipping into the background.
"It is so nice to meet both of you," Scott said nervously shaking both men's hands.
"It's nice to meet both of you as well," Sidney replied. "I understand you're friends of Bekah's. How do you know her?"
"Our son is a patient of hers at the Children's hospital," Gloria answered.
"The McDonalds?" Sidney thought out loud. "Is your son...is his name Dylan?"
"Yes it is!" Scott replied in complete surprise. "How did you know that?"
"I remember Bekah telling me about your family when you first arrived. She was really torn up when she first met you. I'm sorry for everything you and your son are going through," Sidney said thoughtfully.
"Thank you," Gloria replied. "Bekah has been a rock for us the past while. She's amazing."
"I couldn't agree more," Sidney smiled. "Scott, Marc is going to take you around and introduce you to the rest of the team if that's alright with you?"
"It's more than alright," Scott squealed. "Are you coming Gloria?"
"You go ahead and have fun. I'm just going to hang back here out of the way."
"If you say so," he said giving her a peck on the cheek before disappearing into the crowd of people with Marc.
"Shall we go somewhere a little more quiet?" Sidney asked.
"Sure," was all Gloria could manage to say.
As she followed Sidney down a short hallway into another small room, her heart started racing and the doubts she had about what she was about to do flooded her mind.
Those doubts disappeared when she sat across the table from Sidney and saw the pain and hope in his eyes. She took a deep breath and began the sad tale of which he was a main character.
"Let me just start by saying you are not going to be happy with what I am about to tell you. You will most definitely not want to believe what I have to say, but I assure you, every word is the truth. I am probably overstepping my bounds here, but I can't sit by and watch two people who so clearly belong together, be kept apart by something so stupid." Gloria took another deep breath. "Are you ready?" she asked him.
"You have my attention," Sidney replied solemnly.
Gloria slowly began telling him about the fateful night at the game. She watched his face carefully trying to read what he might be thinking, looking for clues that it was okay to continue.
When she mentioned his father's name he perked up briefly before his forehead wrinkled, his perfectly shaped eyebrows raised and his ears started to turn a light shade of pink.
"Shall I continue?" she asked cautiously.
Sidney nodded in silence. He listened in disbelief as Gloria continued with the ugly details of harsh words he couldn't believe would have come out of his father's mouth. When she was finished, he bowed his head and they sat in silence for what seemed like and eternity. She felt so bad for him. Gloria reached across the table and put her hand on top of his.
"I think it's important for you to know that she only agreed to do this because of how much she cares about you. She honestly believes what your dad has told her and that this really is the best thing for you. She would never dream of doing anything to hurt you or your career."
When Sidney finally raised his head, she was shocked to see the tears that were slowly rolling down his cheeks.
"But she has. If what you say is true, then why couldn't she tell me the truth?" he asked quietly.
"I begged her to, but she said you were so close to your father and she would not be responsible for damaging your relationship in any way. It was better for you to be mad at her, it would help you get over her faster and then you could move on."
"Move on? Did she really think I would just be able to forget about her and move on? And my father? I can't believe he would do something so deceitful and hurtful."
"The thing is, they both love you and believe they are doing what's best for you. How would Bekah know the difference? She took what your dad told her as the truth. He's just a father protecting his son and that's something she totally gets right?"
For a brief moment she saw a light in his eyes.
"She...loves me?"
UH OH!
"She's never actually said those words," Gloria said trying to cover her tracks, "but that's what I believe."
"I see," he said rather calmly. "Thank you for telling me the truth. I appreciate it. Bekah is lucky to have a friend like you."
"Are you okay?" she asked knowing it was a stupid question the minute the words left her mouth.
"Not really. I just found out that my father has filled the woman I love's head full of complete bullshit! Bullshit, that knowing her the way I do, I will never be able to convince her is bullshit!" A light bulb went off in Sidney's head at that moment.
"It all makes sense now! Why she left the game early that night, the phone calls she wouldn't answer...everything. It's all my father's doing."
Gloria had never seen a face that particular shade of red before. She started to wonder what she had done.
"So you believe me?" she asked in disbelief.
"Well, I wouldn't have before now, but yes. Earlier that day he had asked me to stop seeing her and I refused. I guess he figured if he couldn't get me to cooperate, he'd have better luck with her. Un-fucking-believable!"
"What are you going to do?" she asked hesitantly.
It was like the question was a needle that she had just popped his balloon with.
"Do?" his shoulders dropped. "I have no idea. I am so furious right now, I want to go confront my dad...ahh shit!"
"What?"
"It's New Year's Eve."
"Yeah so?" Gloria was confused by the sudden change of subject.
"I'm supposed to be at a party at Mario's...with my parents. Not exactly the proper venue for the kind of confrontation we're going to have. I don't even know if I can be in the same room with him and be civil I'm so pissed off."
"Well, ya know...nah never mind," Gloria said rather slyly.
"Ohhhhhh no, you can't do that! Finish what you were going to say."
She smiled a sneaky little smile before saying, "I was always taught that you should bring in the new year with the one you love!"
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Chapter 58
Nate looked questioningly at the couple who had presented their tickets to him. He thought the man looked familiar but he wasn't sure from where. When he looked at the seats on the tickets he was caught off guard. Off course! It was the guy who was with Bekah at the last game.
"Umm, these are Bekah's tickets," Nate said to them.
"Yep, she gave them to us as a gift," Scott replied.
"You're the one that was with her the other night right? It's...Scott isn't it?"
"Pretty good memory you have man. Oh, this is my wife Gloria. Gloria this is...sorry, I'm not so good with names."
'Wife! Thank god,' Nate thought to himself. Sidney had given him the third degree after the last game, dying for any bit of information Nate might have gotten or observed. The only thing he was able to tell him was that they appeared to be very friendly and she had introduced him as a very good friend. Sidney was not at all satisfied with the news Nate was able to report on, and he felt awful that he couldn't give Sidney the answers he was craving.
"Oh, Nate. My name is Nate."
"Thee Nate?" Gloria questioned.
"I...guess so," Nate replied hesitantly.
"Bekah has told me about you. Cute story about that first meeting," she said giving him a wink like the both belonged to some secret club.
"How do you know Bekah?" Nate asked leading them down towards their seats.
"Our son Dylan is one of her patients. She has been a godsend to us over the past month. She gave us these tickets so we'd actually leave the hospital. I personally don't care much for hockey, but my husband is a HUGE fan so Bekah brought him the other night. She's working this afternoon, so I get to come."
"Sounds like something wonderful that Bekah would do," Nate said feeling a huge sense of relief. "Well here you are. I hope you enjoy the game."
"Thank you. Hey Nate, are you in this area for the whole game?" Gloria asked.
"Yes, this is my section."
"Good to know," Gloria replied wryly.
"So which one is this Sidney guy?" Gloria asked her husband.
"Oh Glo! Are you even serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. How the hell would I know who he is?"
"He's right over there, just past the net. Number 87," Scott informed her shaking his head all the while.
She was finally able to pick him out and kept her eyes on him right up until he skated right past the glass where they were sitting.
"WOW!" She exclaimed. "Shit, did I say that out loud?"
"Yeah? Wow what?" Scott asked her.
"Nothing. I just can't believe how big some of these guys are."
'Good cover,' she told herself. 'This guy is smokin' hot! Bekah you have outdone yourself with this one', she thought to herself. 'Now I'm definitely making it my mission to get you two together.'
The game was good, and the Pens were actually leading, but Gloria could really care less. It was way too fast paced for her to follow, and why did they blow the whistle so much? She didn't get it.
Midway through the second period she excused herself to go to the ladies room. Scott barely acknowledged she spoke. When she reached the top of the stairs, she found Nate standing dutifully at his post.
"Hi!" she said positioning herself right in front of him.
"Uh...hi."
"Okay, I know this is a bit off the wall, but I really need your help," she started.
"Well, that is my job," he replied.
"Oh honey, I don't think this is in your job description!"
Gloria pulled the envelope out of her pocket and handed it to him.
"I need you to give this to Sidney on his next break," she said.
"I can't just barge in the locker room to give him a letter," Nate stated.
"Look you were part of getting the two of them together, now you need to be part of getting them back together. They are having some serious issues and she is too stubborn to fix it herself, so I need to help. He needs to read this before the end of the game. I hope he'll be willing to hear me out after he reads this note. He really needs to know what's going on, and I'm the only one that can tell him. Please Nate, this is sooooooooooo important," she pleaded.
"I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Gloria exclaimed practically jumping up and down. "You won't regret it!"
"We'll see about that," Nate replied.
Nate made his way down to the locker room for the end of the second period. He had a bad feeling about this and was just hoping this little stunt wouldn't cost him his job.
When the boys came off the ice Nate stopped Sidney.
"Uh, Mr. Crosby? I was asked to give you this and told you need to read is as soon as possible," Nate said trying to hand Sid the envelope.
"You know better than this Nate, NOT during a game," Sidney snapped and started to head for the locker room door.
"But Mr. Crosby, it's important...it's about Miss Jones!"
Sid stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around and ripped the envelope out of Nate's hands and disappeared into the locker room.
Sid tore open the envelope even before changing out of his sweaty gear. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and focused on the letter. It read:
Dear Mr. Crosby,
My name is Gloria McDonald and Bekah Jones is a very good friend of mine. I know this is somewhat peculiar and perhaps even inappropriate, but Bekah has been a tremendous help to me and my family and I am just trying to return the favour.
I am aware that Bekah recently ended your relationship abruptly without giving you much of a reason. That's where I come in. I know the real reason, but I also know that out of respect and loyalty to you and your family, she will never tell you. I believe you need to know what has really transpired over the past few days and would really appreciate a chance to tell you.
My husband and I are both here today, using Bekah's tickets. If you can spare some time to listen to my story after the game, I promise you you will not regret it. My husband has no idea what is going on and I figured we could tell him Bekah arranged for us to meet the team after the game. I hope you will find it in your heart to hear what I have to say.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to meeting you (hopefully!)
Sincerely,
Gloria McDonald
Sid read the letter several more times but was still unsure whether or not to believe it. Could a complete stranger really hold the key to the answers he was so desperately searching for? What choice did he have? He was getting nowhere on his own.
Nate was waiting for him when he left the locker room.
"Is this lady for real Nate?"
"It appears so. She seems to know an awful lot about what's been going on lately, and her husband is the man Bekah brought to the game the other night."
"That guy is this Gloria's husband?"
"That's right. Huge fan of yours too!"
"Well, don't I feel like a total ass!" Sid said shaking his head in disbelief. "Okay, go back to them and tell them that Bekah has arranged for them to come back and meet the team after the game. Bring them down to the locker room after the media scrum and I'll take it from there."
"You got it sir!" Nate said trying to hide his excitement.
"And Nate? Thank you. I owe you...again!"
"My pleasure Mr. Crosby."
"Please call me Sid. I think we're beyond formalities."
Sid and the rest of the team took the ice after the intermission and he skated by Bekah's seats. Sure enough, there was the same guy he had seen with Bekah only two days before and a woman he assumed was this Gloria, sitting beside him. Sid looked at her and she smiled at him. He nodded in return. God, now all he wanted was for this damn game to be over so he could hear what she had to say. He couldn't believe his fate lied in the hands of a stranger. He could barely keep from jumping out of his skin.
Nate appeared at the McDonald's side just before the puck dropped for the third period.
"Excuse me Scott and Gloria? Mr. Crosby wanted me to inform you that as a special surprise, Bekah has arranged for you to meet the team after the game. I will be back to take you down to the locker room when the game is over."
Scott's jaw dropped to the ground and he was unable to speak.
"Thank you very much Nate," Gloria said giving him a wink.
"It's my pleasure," he replied returning the knowing gesture.
"Umm, these are Bekah's tickets," Nate said to them.
"Yep, she gave them to us as a gift," Scott replied.
"You're the one that was with her the other night right? It's...Scott isn't it?"
"Pretty good memory you have man. Oh, this is my wife Gloria. Gloria this is...sorry, I'm not so good with names."
'Wife! Thank god,' Nate thought to himself. Sidney had given him the third degree after the last game, dying for any bit of information Nate might have gotten or observed. The only thing he was able to tell him was that they appeared to be very friendly and she had introduced him as a very good friend. Sidney was not at all satisfied with the news Nate was able to report on, and he felt awful that he couldn't give Sidney the answers he was craving.
"Oh, Nate. My name is Nate."
"Thee Nate?" Gloria questioned.
"I...guess so," Nate replied hesitantly.
"Bekah has told me about you. Cute story about that first meeting," she said giving him a wink like the both belonged to some secret club.
"How do you know Bekah?" Nate asked leading them down towards their seats.
"Our son Dylan is one of her patients. She has been a godsend to us over the past month. She gave us these tickets so we'd actually leave the hospital. I personally don't care much for hockey, but my husband is a HUGE fan so Bekah brought him the other night. She's working this afternoon, so I get to come."
"Sounds like something wonderful that Bekah would do," Nate said feeling a huge sense of relief. "Well here you are. I hope you enjoy the game."
"Thank you. Hey Nate, are you in this area for the whole game?" Gloria asked.
"Yes, this is my section."
"Good to know," Gloria replied wryly.
"So which one is this Sidney guy?" Gloria asked her husband.
"Oh Glo! Are you even serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. How the hell would I know who he is?"
"He's right over there, just past the net. Number 87," Scott informed her shaking his head all the while.
She was finally able to pick him out and kept her eyes on him right up until he skated right past the glass where they were sitting.
"WOW!" She exclaimed. "Shit, did I say that out loud?"
"Yeah? Wow what?" Scott asked her.
"Nothing. I just can't believe how big some of these guys are."
'Good cover,' she told herself. 'This guy is smokin' hot! Bekah you have outdone yourself with this one', she thought to herself. 'Now I'm definitely making it my mission to get you two together.'
The game was good, and the Pens were actually leading, but Gloria could really care less. It was way too fast paced for her to follow, and why did they blow the whistle so much? She didn't get it.
Midway through the second period she excused herself to go to the ladies room. Scott barely acknowledged she spoke. When she reached the top of the stairs, she found Nate standing dutifully at his post.
"Hi!" she said positioning herself right in front of him.
"Uh...hi."
"Okay, I know this is a bit off the wall, but I really need your help," she started.
"Well, that is my job," he replied.
"Oh honey, I don't think this is in your job description!"
Gloria pulled the envelope out of her pocket and handed it to him.
"I need you to give this to Sidney on his next break," she said.
"I can't just barge in the locker room to give him a letter," Nate stated.
"Look you were part of getting the two of them together, now you need to be part of getting them back together. They are having some serious issues and she is too stubborn to fix it herself, so I need to help. He needs to read this before the end of the game. I hope he'll be willing to hear me out after he reads this note. He really needs to know what's going on, and I'm the only one that can tell him. Please Nate, this is sooooooooooo important," she pleaded.
"I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Gloria exclaimed practically jumping up and down. "You won't regret it!"
"We'll see about that," Nate replied.
Nate made his way down to the locker room for the end of the second period. He had a bad feeling about this and was just hoping this little stunt wouldn't cost him his job.
When the boys came off the ice Nate stopped Sidney.
"Uh, Mr. Crosby? I was asked to give you this and told you need to read is as soon as possible," Nate said trying to hand Sid the envelope.
"You know better than this Nate, NOT during a game," Sidney snapped and started to head for the locker room door.
"But Mr. Crosby, it's important...it's about Miss Jones!"
Sid stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around and ripped the envelope out of Nate's hands and disappeared into the locker room.
Sid tore open the envelope even before changing out of his sweaty gear. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and focused on the letter. It read:
Dear Mr. Crosby,
My name is Gloria McDonald and Bekah Jones is a very good friend of mine. I know this is somewhat peculiar and perhaps even inappropriate, but Bekah has been a tremendous help to me and my family and I am just trying to return the favour.
I am aware that Bekah recently ended your relationship abruptly without giving you much of a reason. That's where I come in. I know the real reason, but I also know that out of respect and loyalty to you and your family, she will never tell you. I believe you need to know what has really transpired over the past few days and would really appreciate a chance to tell you.
My husband and I are both here today, using Bekah's tickets. If you can spare some time to listen to my story after the game, I promise you you will not regret it. My husband has no idea what is going on and I figured we could tell him Bekah arranged for us to meet the team after the game. I hope you will find it in your heart to hear what I have to say.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to meeting you (hopefully!)
Sincerely,
Gloria McDonald
Sid read the letter several more times but was still unsure whether or not to believe it. Could a complete stranger really hold the key to the answers he was so desperately searching for? What choice did he have? He was getting nowhere on his own.
Nate was waiting for him when he left the locker room.
"Is this lady for real Nate?"
"It appears so. She seems to know an awful lot about what's been going on lately, and her husband is the man Bekah brought to the game the other night."
"That guy is this Gloria's husband?"
"That's right. Huge fan of yours too!"
"Well, don't I feel like a total ass!" Sid said shaking his head in disbelief. "Okay, go back to them and tell them that Bekah has arranged for them to come back and meet the team after the game. Bring them down to the locker room after the media scrum and I'll take it from there."
"You got it sir!" Nate said trying to hide his excitement.
"And Nate? Thank you. I owe you...again!"
"My pleasure Mr. Crosby."
"Please call me Sid. I think we're beyond formalities."
Sid and the rest of the team took the ice after the intermission and he skated by Bekah's seats. Sure enough, there was the same guy he had seen with Bekah only two days before and a woman he assumed was this Gloria, sitting beside him. Sid looked at her and she smiled at him. He nodded in return. God, now all he wanted was for this damn game to be over so he could hear what she had to say. He couldn't believe his fate lied in the hands of a stranger. He could barely keep from jumping out of his skin.
Nate appeared at the McDonald's side just before the puck dropped for the third period.
"Excuse me Scott and Gloria? Mr. Crosby wanted me to inform you that as a special surprise, Bekah has arranged for you to meet the team after the game. I will be back to take you down to the locker room when the game is over."
Scott's jaw dropped to the ground and he was unable to speak.
"Thank you very much Nate," Gloria said giving him a wink.
"It's my pleasure," he replied returning the knowing gesture.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Chapter 57
I closed my phone and lay in bed in the pitch black. He was right. How could I be so cruel to someone who had been nothing less than amazing to me...and my boys? I fought to hold back the tears. I was so sick of crying, sick of the drama that had enveloped my life since meeting Sidney Crosby. Granted, alot of it was my own doing, but now I was in uncharted waters. It wasn't just my own stubbornness controlling my fate, but someone I hardly knew and so far didn't care for. But we did both care for Sidney and at the end of the day, each of us believed that we were doing what was right.
I closed my eyes tightly hoping that sleep would befall my weary body, but how could I sleep when I just kept hurting this beautiful, amazing man? Quite possibly the only man I have ever truly been in love with and certainly the only man I wanted to love me back. The look of painful disappointment on his face when he spotted me in the crowd with Scott was forever etched in my mind. I was so caught up in my own fears of seeing him again, it NEVER crossed my mind that Sid might think that I was with Scott. How stupid could I be? Clearly from the texts he sent, that's exactly what he thought! What kind of monster had Troy turned me into? This is not the person I am. I would die before I ever made someone feel like they were nothing. I could only imagine what gram and David are thinking right now. They would be so ashamed of me. Hell, I ashamed of myself.
Maybe all this was a blessing in disguise. Maybe now I had hurt him enough that he could move on and find some happiness. I reeled at the thought of being responsible for causing him so much pain, but it was for the best right? Then why do I feel like I sold my soul to the devil?
Emotional exhaustion finally took over my body.
***********************************************
"All set for the game this afternoon?" I asked walking into Dylan's room around 11 am the morning of the 31st.
"You better believe it!" Scott replied with youthful exuberance. "But are you sure you can't come with me? No offence to my wife, but she doesn't know a damn thing about hockey!"
"Hey, I'm right here ya know?" Gloria scowled. "I know one thing about hockey," she said tauntingly.
"Really? And what would that be?" her husband asked.
"There are some damn fine lookin' men slapping those sticks around!"
I couldn't help but burst out into laughter at Gloria's comment to her husband. His face was priceless!
"Well there's something we haven't seen in a while," Scott said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"You laughing. Or smiling for that matter. It's about time!"
"I admit I've been in a bit of a funk lately, but cut me some slack here! I'm coming around," I said only half jokingly. "Oh, I almost forgot. It took some doing and I had to pull a few strings with it being New Year's Eve and all, but I made you two dinner reservations at this great little restaurant across from the arena. I expect you two to go out and have a great time. Bring in this new year right...with lots of faith, hope and love."
"Bekah, you are just too much! How did you do all this?" Gloria asked.
"It pays to know...people. Now get the heck going! I don't want you to miss any of the action!"
"Thank you just doesn't seem to be enough," Gloria said tenderly. "I wish there was some way we could repay you."
"That's hardly necessary. Just enjoy yourselves. Cherish being with each other. You should be with the one's you love tonight."
"I couldn't agree more," Gloria smiled, sliding her hand in her pocket to make sure that precious envelope was still safely tucked away.
"Have a happy new year guys, you deserve it."
"Same to you Bekah, same to you."
I closed my eyes tightly hoping that sleep would befall my weary body, but how could I sleep when I just kept hurting this beautiful, amazing man? Quite possibly the only man I have ever truly been in love with and certainly the only man I wanted to love me back. The look of painful disappointment on his face when he spotted me in the crowd with Scott was forever etched in my mind. I was so caught up in my own fears of seeing him again, it NEVER crossed my mind that Sid might think that I was with Scott. How stupid could I be? Clearly from the texts he sent, that's exactly what he thought! What kind of monster had Troy turned me into? This is not the person I am. I would die before I ever made someone feel like they were nothing. I could only imagine what gram and David are thinking right now. They would be so ashamed of me. Hell, I ashamed of myself.
Maybe all this was a blessing in disguise. Maybe now I had hurt him enough that he could move on and find some happiness. I reeled at the thought of being responsible for causing him so much pain, but it was for the best right? Then why do I feel like I sold my soul to the devil?
Emotional exhaustion finally took over my body.
***********************************************
"All set for the game this afternoon?" I asked walking into Dylan's room around 11 am the morning of the 31st.
"You better believe it!" Scott replied with youthful exuberance. "But are you sure you can't come with me? No offence to my wife, but she doesn't know a damn thing about hockey!"
"Hey, I'm right here ya know?" Gloria scowled. "I know one thing about hockey," she said tauntingly.
"Really? And what would that be?" her husband asked.
"There are some damn fine lookin' men slapping those sticks around!"
I couldn't help but burst out into laughter at Gloria's comment to her husband. His face was priceless!
"Well there's something we haven't seen in a while," Scott said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"You laughing. Or smiling for that matter. It's about time!"
"I admit I've been in a bit of a funk lately, but cut me some slack here! I'm coming around," I said only half jokingly. "Oh, I almost forgot. It took some doing and I had to pull a few strings with it being New Year's Eve and all, but I made you two dinner reservations at this great little restaurant across from the arena. I expect you two to go out and have a great time. Bring in this new year right...with lots of faith, hope and love."
"Bekah, you are just too much! How did you do all this?" Gloria asked.
"It pays to know...people. Now get the heck going! I don't want you to miss any of the action!"
"Thank you just doesn't seem to be enough," Gloria said tenderly. "I wish there was some way we could repay you."
"That's hardly necessary. Just enjoy yourselves. Cherish being with each other. You should be with the one's you love tonight."
"I couldn't agree more," Gloria smiled, sliding her hand in her pocket to make sure that precious envelope was still safely tucked away.
"Have a happy new year guys, you deserve it."
"Same to you Bekah, same to you."
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sidney's POV
"What the hell is wrong with him?" Colby asked Marc as they watched Sid throw each and every piece of his equipment at his stall.
"He's having a rough night. I'd just stay away from him if you know what's good for you. There's no talking to him when he's like this."
"Does he freak out like this often?" Colby asked as shoulder pads went flying by his head.
"No, not often. And it's never been this bad," was Marc's only reply.
Troy and Mario entered the locker room and witnessed the tantrum Sid was in the middle of. They were much more brave than the rest of the team that had abandoned ship to head to the showers. Troy and Mario headed straight for the Bermuda triangle.
"You had a pretty good game tonight son, but what is wrong with you? You need to calm yourself down, you have interviews to do."
I took a long, deep breath before speaking. "I'm not doing media tonight, I'm going to ride the bike for a while. Mario, please tell coach and the press."
"Sidney, I know I don't need to remind you of the position that your in or the responsibilities that go with it. Now get yourself ready and talk to the press."
"Fuck the press dad! I am very well aware of what is expected of me, and right now I don't give a shit. The world is not going to come to an end if I skip the media for one fucking night. Deal with it!"
"Troy, let's just leave him be for the time being? Sid, I'll let them know."
Why can't they leave me alone for one fucking night? As I headed for the bike, I realized I was to wound up for that. Weights. I went over to the machine and put 100 pounds more than I usually do on it. I had alot of aggression I could focus on the extra weight. After 10 minutes, my arms felt like they were going to rip out of their sockets so I headed for the bike. It was my solace. Any time I had something to work through, the bike was the place I could be by myself and focus.
I peddled and peddled and peddled until I could barely feel my legs anymore. I had no idea how long I'd been there until I felt a hand touch my shoulder.
"Jesus Marc, you scared the hell out of me!"
"Sorry mon ami. You've been on that thing for two hours. Don't you think it deserves a rest?"
"I didn't realize it had been that long. Is everyone gone?"
"Everyone but us."
"Why are you still here? Isn't Vero waiting for you?"
"I called and told her I was going to be late," Marc said taking a seat on the bike next to Sid. "Want to talk about it," he asked timidly.
"NO." I started to peddle again and then stopped when I looked at Marc and he was giving me that look.
"I just...I just...how could she do that Marc. I mean, it's only been three days. Three fucking days, and she brings another guy to the game?"
I couldn't tell if it was tears or sweat dripping down my face, but I really didn't care. All the raw emotions I was feeling were exploding to the surface.
"She said it was too much too fast and now she's what? Dating someone else and bring him to the game! My fucking game! Why doesn't she just drive a knife right through my heart? If she wanted to be with someone else why didn't she just tell me? I can't believe she'd throw it in my face like that! That's cold. I did what she wanted. I haven't even tried to call her. Why did she have to come here with him? I don't get it, is she deliberately trying to hurt me? What the fuck is wrong with her? What the fuck is wrong with ME? I can't believe I thought I loved her! I could never love anyone who could be so cruel."
"Are you just about done?"
"Done! I'm just getting started! I am so fucking furious right now Marc..."
"Take a breath Sid! Calm down and let's look at this rationally. You remember what that is right?"
"I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm Flower."
"Let's just look at this piece by piece. First of all, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you two weren't even together."
"Not officially no. But we were headed there."
"And love? When did that happen?!"
"Probably the first night I met her, but a little more every day I spent with her. We were getting so close up until a few days ago, then bam! Out of know where, it's over."
"And nothing out of the ordinary happened? You two didn't fight about anything?"
"No! I told you about Christmas and how great it was, and then when I came back, that was it. Done. She had been acting kinda weird before Christmas, but she said she was sick and then Christmas was fine."
"It just doesn't make sense."
"I know, that's what's so hard. Even her friend Lily thought something was off, but after she talked to her, she told me getting close to me was too much for her and she wasn't over what happened with her ex."
Now Marc was getting confused too. "Well, if that's true, why would she be dating someone else?"
"I have noooooooooooo idea. None of this makes sense and it's driving me crazy!"
"Okay, I know I don't know her that well, but in your heart of hearts, do you honestly believe that Bekah would end things with you and start dating someone else? And then bring him to a game? It doesn't sound like something she would do. She doesn't play games like other girls."
"I didn't think so either, but what other explanation is there?"
"I don't have the answer to that. Maybe you should try talking to her."
"I can't do that. She probably would talk to me anyway. She wants nothing to do with me anymore."
"Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You'll never know if you don't try. Besides, who said you actually had to talk to her. Text her. See how that goes first."
"I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm right! That's why you keep me around!" he said getting off the bike. "Now, go home and call her. I'll see you in the morning," he said heading for the door.
"Hey Marc?"
"Oui?"
"Do you think we'll work this out?"
"Oui. I'm sure of it."
"Thanks Marc. I really appreciate everything..."
Marc held up his hand to stop me from talking. "Just work it out and get back to the old Sid."
I couldn't wait to get home to call her. What happened tonight was driving me crazy. I dialed her number. No answer, just as I suspected. My heart grew heavy in my chest. We'll try it this way then. I texted:
'We need to talk.' I waited...and waited...and waited. Finally!
'Nothing to talk about.' Was she serious?
'Explanation would be nice.'
'For what?'
'The guy...who is he???' Again I waited.
'I don't owe you an explanation and it's none of your business.'
'I think I'm entitled to something?'
'You are entitled to nothing. We are nothing. Discussion over. Please leave me alone.'
'How can you be so cruel?' I waited...and waited.
No response.
"He's having a rough night. I'd just stay away from him if you know what's good for you. There's no talking to him when he's like this."
"Does he freak out like this often?" Colby asked as shoulder pads went flying by his head.
"No, not often. And it's never been this bad," was Marc's only reply.
Troy and Mario entered the locker room and witnessed the tantrum Sid was in the middle of. They were much more brave than the rest of the team that had abandoned ship to head to the showers. Troy and Mario headed straight for the Bermuda triangle.
"You had a pretty good game tonight son, but what is wrong with you? You need to calm yourself down, you have interviews to do."
I took a long, deep breath before speaking. "I'm not doing media tonight, I'm going to ride the bike for a while. Mario, please tell coach and the press."
"Sidney, I know I don't need to remind you of the position that your in or the responsibilities that go with it. Now get yourself ready and talk to the press."
"Fuck the press dad! I am very well aware of what is expected of me, and right now I don't give a shit. The world is not going to come to an end if I skip the media for one fucking night. Deal with it!"
"Troy, let's just leave him be for the time being? Sid, I'll let them know."
Why can't they leave me alone for one fucking night? As I headed for the bike, I realized I was to wound up for that. Weights. I went over to the machine and put 100 pounds more than I usually do on it. I had alot of aggression I could focus on the extra weight. After 10 minutes, my arms felt like they were going to rip out of their sockets so I headed for the bike. It was my solace. Any time I had something to work through, the bike was the place I could be by myself and focus.
I peddled and peddled and peddled until I could barely feel my legs anymore. I had no idea how long I'd been there until I felt a hand touch my shoulder.
"Jesus Marc, you scared the hell out of me!"
"Sorry mon ami. You've been on that thing for two hours. Don't you think it deserves a rest?"
"I didn't realize it had been that long. Is everyone gone?"
"Everyone but us."
"Why are you still here? Isn't Vero waiting for you?"
"I called and told her I was going to be late," Marc said taking a seat on the bike next to Sid. "Want to talk about it," he asked timidly.
"NO." I started to peddle again and then stopped when I looked at Marc and he was giving me that look.
"I just...I just...how could she do that Marc. I mean, it's only been three days. Three fucking days, and she brings another guy to the game?"
I couldn't tell if it was tears or sweat dripping down my face, but I really didn't care. All the raw emotions I was feeling were exploding to the surface.
"She said it was too much too fast and now she's what? Dating someone else and bring him to the game! My fucking game! Why doesn't she just drive a knife right through my heart? If she wanted to be with someone else why didn't she just tell me? I can't believe she'd throw it in my face like that! That's cold. I did what she wanted. I haven't even tried to call her. Why did she have to come here with him? I don't get it, is she deliberately trying to hurt me? What the fuck is wrong with her? What the fuck is wrong with ME? I can't believe I thought I loved her! I could never love anyone who could be so cruel."
"Are you just about done?"
"Done! I'm just getting started! I am so fucking furious right now Marc..."
"Take a breath Sid! Calm down and let's look at this rationally. You remember what that is right?"
"I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm Flower."
"Let's just look at this piece by piece. First of all, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you two weren't even together."
"Not officially no. But we were headed there."
"And love? When did that happen?!"
"Probably the first night I met her, but a little more every day I spent with her. We were getting so close up until a few days ago, then bam! Out of know where, it's over."
"And nothing out of the ordinary happened? You two didn't fight about anything?"
"No! I told you about Christmas and how great it was, and then when I came back, that was it. Done. She had been acting kinda weird before Christmas, but she said she was sick and then Christmas was fine."
"It just doesn't make sense."
"I know, that's what's so hard. Even her friend Lily thought something was off, but after she talked to her, she told me getting close to me was too much for her and she wasn't over what happened with her ex."
Now Marc was getting confused too. "Well, if that's true, why would she be dating someone else?"
"I have noooooooooooo idea. None of this makes sense and it's driving me crazy!"
"Okay, I know I don't know her that well, but in your heart of hearts, do you honestly believe that Bekah would end things with you and start dating someone else? And then bring him to a game? It doesn't sound like something she would do. She doesn't play games like other girls."
"I didn't think so either, but what other explanation is there?"
"I don't have the answer to that. Maybe you should try talking to her."
"I can't do that. She probably would talk to me anyway. She wants nothing to do with me anymore."
"Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You'll never know if you don't try. Besides, who said you actually had to talk to her. Text her. See how that goes first."
"I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm right! That's why you keep me around!" he said getting off the bike. "Now, go home and call her. I'll see you in the morning," he said heading for the door.
"Hey Marc?"
"Oui?"
"Do you think we'll work this out?"
"Oui. I'm sure of it."
"Thanks Marc. I really appreciate everything..."
Marc held up his hand to stop me from talking. "Just work it out and get back to the old Sid."
I couldn't wait to get home to call her. What happened tonight was driving me crazy. I dialed her number. No answer, just as I suspected. My heart grew heavy in my chest. We'll try it this way then. I texted:
'We need to talk.' I waited...and waited...and waited. Finally!
'Nothing to talk about.' Was she serious?
'Explanation would be nice.'
'For what?'
'The guy...who is he???' Again I waited.
'I don't owe you an explanation and it's none of your business.'
'I think I'm entitled to something?'
'You are entitled to nothing. We are nothing. Discussion over. Please leave me alone.'
'How can you be so cruel?' I waited...and waited.
No response.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Chapter 56
"Here, these are for you," I said handing Scott an envelope.
"What's this?"
"Consider it a slightly belated Christmas gift," I told him.
He wrinkled his forehead and looked at me with a very questioning gaze. When he saw what was inside, he dropped the envelope on the ground and stood starring at me in disbelief, unable to speak.
"Well, what is it?" Gloria asked with childlike enthusiasm.
"It's...it's...oh my god...it's..."
"It's what?" she asked more than slightly annoyed.
"It's my tickets to the next two Pens games," I replied feeling rather proud of myself. "One tonight and one New Year's eve. I want you two to go and enjoy yourselves. Get out of this hospital for while, be normal for a few hours."
"Oh Bekah, we can't possibly accept these," Gloria said picking the envelope off the floor.
"Like hell we can't!" Scott said snatching the envelope out of her hands.
Gloria looked at me with a knowing look. "You really should be using them yourself, Bekah."
"I can't. I need to take a break from hockey. Besides, I'll probably pick up a few extra shifts or something, stay busy."
Just as Gloria was about to argue with me, she stopped herself. It was almost like a light bulb went off.
"I'll make you a deal," she said. "Scott really should experience his first game with another hockey fan so, if you go to the game with him tonight, I'll go with him on New Year's. Deal?"
"Gloria, I really don't want to..."
"That's the deal. It's either that or nothing, you can give the tickets to someone else."
"Are you crazy Gloria?" Scott sniped at his wife. "Those are amazing tickets! Bekah please, for the love of god..."
I shot Gloria a slight look of contempt. "I know what you're doing Gloria, and it's not going to work."
She just smiled a devilish smile.
"Fine. But I'm telling you Gloria, just because I'm going doesn't mean anything. I'm not changing my mind about anything."
"I don't know what the hell you two are talking about," Scott interrupted, "but I don't care! I'm going to the Pens game Whooo hoooo!" He ran out of the room and high fived the poor unsuspecting orderly who was just wandering by.
***************************************************
As we made our way to the top of the stairs, a huge knot started to form in the pit of my stomach. Scott and I both paused and took in the awesome sight. Just as we were about to start making our way down towards our seats, I saw a familiar friendly face smiling at me.
"Hey Miss...I mean Bekah."
"Nate. It's good to see you."
"You too. I missed you last game."
"Yeah, I haven't been feeling well lately. Oh, I'm sorry Scott. Scott, this is Nate, the best damn usher at the Igloo. Nate, this is a good friend of mine Scott."
Nate looked at me with a puzzled look on his face as the two men shook hands.
"We should get to our seats," I said quickly. "I'll catch ya after the game Nate."
As we made our way down the stairs, that knot grew bigger and bigger. I wasn't sure what emotions I was feeling. Nervous? Scared? Both? 'Try to stay clam,' I told myself. 'He won't expect you to be here. He probably won't even look for you.' I was praying he wouldn't. I don't think I would be able to handle eye contact with those beautiful hazel eyes.
We took our seats and watched the warm up. Scott amazed me with his knowledge of almost every Pens player that skated by us. Luckily, Sid was on the other side of the ice running drills with this Armstrong kid I'd never seen before. 'Hmm. He must be a new one,' I thought to myself. 'So far, so good!'
I had managed to start to relax a little and was actually enjoying the game until the end of the second period. 30 seconds remained and Sid scored off a beauty pass from Armstrong to tie the game. The celebration was taking place right in front of us. I hadn't seen a smile that big on Sid's face in a long time, and then, it happened. Eye contact! That wonderful smile was quickly replaced by a look of surprise, followed by a look of hurt. His hazel eyes bore a hole right down to the depths of my soul. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to look away, but where. The first thing my eyes fell upon was Scott who scooped me up in a bear hug in the midst of his own celebration. When he put me back on the ground, I turned to sit down in time to see Sidney shaking his head and then skate to the bench. The whole exchange probably lasted about 20 seconds, but it felt like an eternity, like everything was happening in slow motion.
When the boys took the ice for the third period, Marc made it a point to look right at me and give me a little wave. I gave him a half smile and a nod. I could only imagine what Sid had said to him in the locker room. I knew this was a mistake, I shouldn't have come. But when I looked at Scott and saw the look of pure joy and excitement on his face, it put everything in perspective. Sure, I felt uncomfortable, but Scott was having the time of his life and he deserved a little happiness.
The game ended and the crowd was wild. The Pens won, for the first time in a while. As the team skated out on the ice to congratulate one another, I felt the burning of Sidney's glare. He did not take his eyes of of us the whole time they were out on the ice. He even made it a point to skate by the glass where we were sitting. I avoided making eye contact with him again. I couldn't handle it. I knew if I looked into his eyes again, I'd lose it. I turned to Scott to tell him we needed to leave and he wrapped me in yet another bear hug. As we began to separate, he gave me a peck on the cheek and said, "I don't know how I could ever thank you for tonight Bekah. It has truly been one of the best nights in my entire life, certainly the best I've had in a long time."
"Well you deserve it! And no thanks are needed. It's thanks enough just knowing you had a good time. You ready to go?"
"Not really, but I suppose we should."
As we made our way out of the aisle to the stairs I couldn't help myself. As Scott slipped his arm around my shoulder, I turned back towards the ice. He was still there, still watching me. At that moment I couldn't tell which was colder, the temperature of the ice or the icy cold glare shooting out of those hazel eyes that once looked at me with such warmth.
"What's this?"
"Consider it a slightly belated Christmas gift," I told him.
He wrinkled his forehead and looked at me with a very questioning gaze. When he saw what was inside, he dropped the envelope on the ground and stood starring at me in disbelief, unable to speak.
"Well, what is it?" Gloria asked with childlike enthusiasm.
"It's...it's...oh my god...it's..."
"It's what?" she asked more than slightly annoyed.
"It's my tickets to the next two Pens games," I replied feeling rather proud of myself. "One tonight and one New Year's eve. I want you two to go and enjoy yourselves. Get out of this hospital for while, be normal for a few hours."
"Oh Bekah, we can't possibly accept these," Gloria said picking the envelope off the floor.
"Like hell we can't!" Scott said snatching the envelope out of her hands.
Gloria looked at me with a knowing look. "You really should be using them yourself, Bekah."
"I can't. I need to take a break from hockey. Besides, I'll probably pick up a few extra shifts or something, stay busy."
Just as Gloria was about to argue with me, she stopped herself. It was almost like a light bulb went off.
"I'll make you a deal," she said. "Scott really should experience his first game with another hockey fan so, if you go to the game with him tonight, I'll go with him on New Year's. Deal?"
"Gloria, I really don't want to..."
"That's the deal. It's either that or nothing, you can give the tickets to someone else."
"Are you crazy Gloria?" Scott sniped at his wife. "Those are amazing tickets! Bekah please, for the love of god..."
I shot Gloria a slight look of contempt. "I know what you're doing Gloria, and it's not going to work."
She just smiled a devilish smile.
"Fine. But I'm telling you Gloria, just because I'm going doesn't mean anything. I'm not changing my mind about anything."
"I don't know what the hell you two are talking about," Scott interrupted, "but I don't care! I'm going to the Pens game Whooo hoooo!" He ran out of the room and high fived the poor unsuspecting orderly who was just wandering by.
***************************************************
As we made our way to the top of the stairs, a huge knot started to form in the pit of my stomach. Scott and I both paused and took in the awesome sight. Just as we were about to start making our way down towards our seats, I saw a familiar friendly face smiling at me.
"Hey Miss...I mean Bekah."
"Nate. It's good to see you."
"You too. I missed you last game."
"Yeah, I haven't been feeling well lately. Oh, I'm sorry Scott. Scott, this is Nate, the best damn usher at the Igloo. Nate, this is a good friend of mine Scott."
Nate looked at me with a puzzled look on his face as the two men shook hands.
"We should get to our seats," I said quickly. "I'll catch ya after the game Nate."
As we made our way down the stairs, that knot grew bigger and bigger. I wasn't sure what emotions I was feeling. Nervous? Scared? Both? 'Try to stay clam,' I told myself. 'He won't expect you to be here. He probably won't even look for you.' I was praying he wouldn't. I don't think I would be able to handle eye contact with those beautiful hazel eyes.
We took our seats and watched the warm up. Scott amazed me with his knowledge of almost every Pens player that skated by us. Luckily, Sid was on the other side of the ice running drills with this Armstrong kid I'd never seen before. 'Hmm. He must be a new one,' I thought to myself. 'So far, so good!'
I had managed to start to relax a little and was actually enjoying the game until the end of the second period. 30 seconds remained and Sid scored off a beauty pass from Armstrong to tie the game. The celebration was taking place right in front of us. I hadn't seen a smile that big on Sid's face in a long time, and then, it happened. Eye contact! That wonderful smile was quickly replaced by a look of surprise, followed by a look of hurt. His hazel eyes bore a hole right down to the depths of my soul. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to look away, but where. The first thing my eyes fell upon was Scott who scooped me up in a bear hug in the midst of his own celebration. When he put me back on the ground, I turned to sit down in time to see Sidney shaking his head and then skate to the bench. The whole exchange probably lasted about 20 seconds, but it felt like an eternity, like everything was happening in slow motion.
When the boys took the ice for the third period, Marc made it a point to look right at me and give me a little wave. I gave him a half smile and a nod. I could only imagine what Sid had said to him in the locker room. I knew this was a mistake, I shouldn't have come. But when I looked at Scott and saw the look of pure joy and excitement on his face, it put everything in perspective. Sure, I felt uncomfortable, but Scott was having the time of his life and he deserved a little happiness.
The game ended and the crowd was wild. The Pens won, for the first time in a while. As the team skated out on the ice to congratulate one another, I felt the burning of Sidney's glare. He did not take his eyes of of us the whole time they were out on the ice. He even made it a point to skate by the glass where we were sitting. I avoided making eye contact with him again. I couldn't handle it. I knew if I looked into his eyes again, I'd lose it. I turned to Scott to tell him we needed to leave and he wrapped me in yet another bear hug. As we began to separate, he gave me a peck on the cheek and said, "I don't know how I could ever thank you for tonight Bekah. It has truly been one of the best nights in my entire life, certainly the best I've had in a long time."
"Well you deserve it! And no thanks are needed. It's thanks enough just knowing you had a good time. You ready to go?"
"Not really, but I suppose we should."
As we made our way out of the aisle to the stairs I couldn't help myself. As Scott slipped his arm around my shoulder, I turned back towards the ice. He was still there, still watching me. At that moment I couldn't tell which was colder, the temperature of the ice or the icy cold glare shooting out of those hazel eyes that once looked at me with such warmth.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Chapter 55
Going back to work the next day was certainly no picnic. I had spent the rest of the day before in bed with a box of Kleenex watching every sappy chick flick I owned. Somehow I thought watching them pull the plug on Julia Roberts would make the flood fest of tears I was putting on okay. I didn't need the movies to make me cry, but it did make me feel justified. After hours of heartache and sickening love stories, I decided I needed something a little more upbeat. My mind flashed back to night I came home from work to find Sid watching the Mighty Ducks movie. It was stupid I know, but somehow watching it now made me feel close to him.
I couldn't be bothered to do anything more than get dressed to go to work. My eyes were still slightly red and puffy and my head was killing me. I glanced in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.
'Ughh! One look at me and no one will doubt that I was sick,' I thought to myself.
The first thing I did when I got to the hospital was check on Dylan. I hadn't been to see him since he started his chemo treatment. When I walked in his room I was instantly greeted with two warm embraces from Scott and Gloria. I had become close with them over the last few weeks. Turns out Scott was a huge Pens fan and was in complete awe that I had season tickets, let alone the fact that I knew Sidney Crosby. Every time I saw him, we would talk about the previous night's game.
"You're so lucky," he would tell me. "I would kill to have season tickets! I've never even been to a game."
Gloria on the other hand, was also interested in Sidney, but for a much different reason. Scott and I had been discussing the skating party and the fact that I kicked Sid's ass skating. He of course did not believe me and left the room to get coffee for his wife still chuckling at the tall tale I had just told him.
"So, when did you fall in love with him?" she asked me.
"I beg your pardon? I...I'm not...we're not even...we're just friends," I finally managed to spit out.
"Oh honey, it's so obvious."
"Why would you say that?"
"You can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about him. You get this sparkle in your eye, your face starts practically glowing and you seem to go into your own little world when you tell your stories."
"I do not.. do I? I've honestly never thought about him like that."
"What's to think about?" she shrieked. "From the sounds of it, he's wonderful! And he obviously has some serious feelings for you and your boys."
"But I don't...I don't..."
"You don't what?"
"I don't do...that," I said quietly.
"You don't what...fall in love?"
"No. I don't even date. Never have. It's kind of a rule of mine."
"What kind of stupid rule is that?"
"The kind that keeps me and the boys protected."
I didn't need to go any further. I hadn't gone into all the details, but I had opened up to Gloria about my past. Oddly enough, that was another thing we had in common. She herself had been in a marriage with domestic violence. She had barely escaped with her life. Thankfully, there were no children involved.
"I felt the same way once upon a time. But Bekah, you can't go through the rest of your life afraid to love again. If I hadn't woken up and seen what was right before my eyes, I wouldn't be with Scott right now and we wouldn't have this precious baby boy. Despite everything we're going through right now, I wouldn't trade any of it. Scott helped me recover. He showed me that not all men are like that, there are some truly wonderful ones out there. You have found yourself one, and you owe it to yourself and your kids to be open to the possibilities."
It was that conversation that forced me to examine my true feelings for Sidney.
"Jesus girl, you look like shit!" Scott said as I pulled out of his embrace, shaking me from my memories.
"Nice Scott! You could be a little more tactful. Are you okay hon? You do look...not so good."
"I'm fine. I just haven't been feeling well and I'm pretty tired these days."
"I'm going to the cafeteria, anybody want anything?" Scott asked.
"No thanks," Gloria replied.
"Me either, but thank you," I said.
When he was gone, Gloria led me over to the couch and motioned for me to sit down. She looked at me with concern in her eyes.
"Is that man of yours keeping you up too late?" she asked almost hopefully.
I didn't have to say a word, the expression on my face and the tears building up in my eyes said it all.
"Oh honey, what happened? I thought everything was going so well?"
"It was," I replied taking a deep breath. "It just got to be too much too soon. I'm not ready."
She looked in my eyes and pondered over the statement I had just made.
"Okaaaaay. Now how 'bout the truth."
After contemplating my options I said, "Oh, what the hell. It's not like you're ever going to run into any of them."
I relived the story yet again, albeit an abbreviated version. The pain was just as pure as it had been that night.
Gloria let this new information sink in for a moment.
"And you bought that load of garbage? And agreed not to see Sid anymore? That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard!"
"No it isn't," I tried reasoning with her.
"Bekah, never in the history of...well...of anything has falling in love with someone resulted in a career tanking or losing sponsorships or whatever else this guy told you would happen. It just doesn't happen. So you've got a couple kids from a previous marriage, who cares! It's not like your an axe murderer or something."
"But he's not just like everyone else. They are practically dropping the whole weight of the NHL on his shoulders. They expect him to carry the whole league out of the depths of despair after the lockout. That's enormous pressure! He's under relentless scrutiny and he doesn't need any added complications."
"I doubt very much he sees you as a complication. Besides, doesn't he have 'people' to help him with all his responsibilities and shit?"
"Yes, but..."
"But nothing! Fuck Troy Crosby! You just tell him that you're not going to do it and there's nothing he can do about it. Then you go to that boy and tell him you were temporarily insane and beg him for forgiveness. Better yet, why don't you tell him the truth...that his father is an interfering asshole and let him deal with Troy.
"I can't do that Gloria."
"Why the hell not?"
"Two reasons. One, Sid is very close to his father and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize that. Two, I gave Troy my word and I won't go back on it. Besides, I do think it's what's best for him. I gotta go. I have other patients to check on. Thank you for your support Gloria, but really, I'll be fine. It's just going to take some time. I'll check in again later."
'That's just like you Bekah. Always thinking of everyone but yourself,' Gloria thought to herself as Bekah left the room. 'Maybe it's about time someone thought of what's best for you for a change. You may have give that bastard your word...but I didn't!'
I couldn't be bothered to do anything more than get dressed to go to work. My eyes were still slightly red and puffy and my head was killing me. I glanced in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.
'Ughh! One look at me and no one will doubt that I was sick,' I thought to myself.
The first thing I did when I got to the hospital was check on Dylan. I hadn't been to see him since he started his chemo treatment. When I walked in his room I was instantly greeted with two warm embraces from Scott and Gloria. I had become close with them over the last few weeks. Turns out Scott was a huge Pens fan and was in complete awe that I had season tickets, let alone the fact that I knew Sidney Crosby. Every time I saw him, we would talk about the previous night's game.
"You're so lucky," he would tell me. "I would kill to have season tickets! I've never even been to a game."
Gloria on the other hand, was also interested in Sidney, but for a much different reason. Scott and I had been discussing the skating party and the fact that I kicked Sid's ass skating. He of course did not believe me and left the room to get coffee for his wife still chuckling at the tall tale I had just told him.
"So, when did you fall in love with him?" she asked me.
"I beg your pardon? I...I'm not...we're not even...we're just friends," I finally managed to spit out.
"Oh honey, it's so obvious."
"Why would you say that?"
"You can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about him. You get this sparkle in your eye, your face starts practically glowing and you seem to go into your own little world when you tell your stories."
"I do not.. do I? I've honestly never thought about him like that."
"What's to think about?" she shrieked. "From the sounds of it, he's wonderful! And he obviously has some serious feelings for you and your boys."
"But I don't...I don't..."
"You don't what?"
"I don't do...that," I said quietly.
"You don't what...fall in love?"
"No. I don't even date. Never have. It's kind of a rule of mine."
"What kind of stupid rule is that?"
"The kind that keeps me and the boys protected."
I didn't need to go any further. I hadn't gone into all the details, but I had opened up to Gloria about my past. Oddly enough, that was another thing we had in common. She herself had been in a marriage with domestic violence. She had barely escaped with her life. Thankfully, there were no children involved.
"I felt the same way once upon a time. But Bekah, you can't go through the rest of your life afraid to love again. If I hadn't woken up and seen what was right before my eyes, I wouldn't be with Scott right now and we wouldn't have this precious baby boy. Despite everything we're going through right now, I wouldn't trade any of it. Scott helped me recover. He showed me that not all men are like that, there are some truly wonderful ones out there. You have found yourself one, and you owe it to yourself and your kids to be open to the possibilities."
It was that conversation that forced me to examine my true feelings for Sidney.
"Jesus girl, you look like shit!" Scott said as I pulled out of his embrace, shaking me from my memories.
"Nice Scott! You could be a little more tactful. Are you okay hon? You do look...not so good."
"I'm fine. I just haven't been feeling well and I'm pretty tired these days."
"I'm going to the cafeteria, anybody want anything?" Scott asked.
"No thanks," Gloria replied.
"Me either, but thank you," I said.
When he was gone, Gloria led me over to the couch and motioned for me to sit down. She looked at me with concern in her eyes.
"Is that man of yours keeping you up too late?" she asked almost hopefully.
I didn't have to say a word, the expression on my face and the tears building up in my eyes said it all.
"Oh honey, what happened? I thought everything was going so well?"
"It was," I replied taking a deep breath. "It just got to be too much too soon. I'm not ready."
She looked in my eyes and pondered over the statement I had just made.
"Okaaaaay. Now how 'bout the truth."
After contemplating my options I said, "Oh, what the hell. It's not like you're ever going to run into any of them."
I relived the story yet again, albeit an abbreviated version. The pain was just as pure as it had been that night.
Gloria let this new information sink in for a moment.
"And you bought that load of garbage? And agreed not to see Sid anymore? That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard!"
"No it isn't," I tried reasoning with her.
"Bekah, never in the history of...well...of anything has falling in love with someone resulted in a career tanking or losing sponsorships or whatever else this guy told you would happen. It just doesn't happen. So you've got a couple kids from a previous marriage, who cares! It's not like your an axe murderer or something."
"But he's not just like everyone else. They are practically dropping the whole weight of the NHL on his shoulders. They expect him to carry the whole league out of the depths of despair after the lockout. That's enormous pressure! He's under relentless scrutiny and he doesn't need any added complications."
"I doubt very much he sees you as a complication. Besides, doesn't he have 'people' to help him with all his responsibilities and shit?"
"Yes, but..."
"But nothing! Fuck Troy Crosby! You just tell him that you're not going to do it and there's nothing he can do about it. Then you go to that boy and tell him you were temporarily insane and beg him for forgiveness. Better yet, why don't you tell him the truth...that his father is an interfering asshole and let him deal with Troy.
"I can't do that Gloria."
"Why the hell not?"
"Two reasons. One, Sid is very close to his father and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize that. Two, I gave Troy my word and I won't go back on it. Besides, I do think it's what's best for him. I gotta go. I have other patients to check on. Thank you for your support Gloria, but really, I'll be fine. It's just going to take some time. I'll check in again later."
'That's just like you Bekah. Always thinking of everyone but yourself,' Gloria thought to herself as Bekah left the room. 'Maybe it's about time someone thought of what's best for you for a change. You may have give that bastard your word...but I didn't!'
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Chapter 54
The silence during the ride home from the arena was deafening. Mario and Troy riding in the front while Sid sat alone in the back, starring out into space. Mario had nothing to say to Troy, and Troy knew better than to try and carry on a conversation with his son while he was in a mood.
When they arrived back at the house, Sid went straight to his room only stopping long enough to give Taylor a kiss goodnight. He spoke to no one. Once alone in his room, he couldn't hold in his emotions any longer. He couldn't be bothered to get undressed. He crawled into bed, suit and all, and cried. He lay in the pitch black room remembering every precious moment he had spent with her. He expertly reached through the darkness for the picture on his bedside table, the one of the four of them at the skating party, and clutched it tightly to his chest. That day had been one of his happiest since coming to Pittsburgh. All of his time with her was happy, even when she was being difficult, and god only knows she could be difficult! That was one of the many things he loved about her. One of the things he would always love about her. He didn't care what she said, there would be no moving on for him, not anytime in the near future anyways.
He closed his eyes and thought back to the kiss they had finally shared. Passionate, gentle, full of the love they were both feeling for each other, but too afraid to admit. A small smile appeared across his lips and tears ran down the side of his face. For the first time in his entire life, he cried himself to sleep.
**********************************************
In one of the guest bedrooms of the Lemieux house, Trina was questioning her husband about their son's behaviour.
"What happened out there tonight Troy? Sidney was so angry. It's not like him to play like that. I'm worried about him. I went to his door to say goodnight and I heard him crying."
"Crying? Sidney doesn't cry."
"That's why it's so unsettling, but I'm quite sure I know what I heard Troy. What's going on with him?"
"He has alot of pressure on him hon, and the team isn't doing well. You know he's not used to losing like this. And I'm sure he's not over the Olympic thing either. Everyone has a breaking point and maybe he's reached his. Give him a few days, and I'm sure he'll be back to his old self."
"Are you sure that's all it is? He seems in pretty bad shape for it to just be the pressure and disappointment. Maybe it has something to do with that girl...what's her name?...that he hasn't stopped talking about. Oh what's her name?"
"What girl?"
"You know, the one with the two boys...Bekah! That's her name. Maybe it has something to do with her. He obviously likes her very much."
"Trina, he hardly knows the girl. I'm sure she has nothing to do with any of this. Now stop your worrying, Sidney will be fine. He always bounces back."
"I'm his mother, I will never stop worrying about him, but I hope you're right. I can't stand seeing him like this."
***************************************************
Nathalie sat next to Mario in their bed and studied the disturbing look of worry on his face. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on her husband's back. He took a deep breath at the mere touch of her hand.
"I'm torn Nat. I don't know what to do."
He had told her the whole story the night that it happened, and had filled her in on the most recent events from that morning that he himself had only learned because he had forced Sid to tell him what was bothering him. Sid couldn't keep anything this big from Mario, and Mario could never hide anything from Nathalie, she saw right through it. They both adored Bekah and thought she was so good for Sidney, so they too were in anguish over what Troy had done."
"You're in a very difficult position sweetheart. You promised Troy you'd take care of his son, and you and I both know that he needs Bekah in his life. But you're not his father, Mario. You have to respect Troy's wishes...no matter how much you might disagree with them."
"But this is just so wrong. He loves her Nat, and to keep them apart like that...in such a devious manner...don't you think Sid deserves to know what his father has done?"
"Of course I do, but it's not your place. If you tell him the truth you could damage their relationship and where would that get you? All you can do is be there for Sid when he needs you. I believe those two are meant to be together. The kind of bond they have can survive anything, even a meddling father. Give it time to run it's course, and I bet you'll see them find their way back to each other."
"But will that happen before the kid completely self destructs and blows his rookie season?"
"Only time will tell sweetheart."
"If he doesn't snap out of this funk sooner rather than later, I'll have no choice but to tell him. I won't let him throw this year away."
She gave him a loving kiss on the forehead. After all these years, she still loved his compassion almost above anything else. "You will do what you think is right...you always do."
When they arrived back at the house, Sid went straight to his room only stopping long enough to give Taylor a kiss goodnight. He spoke to no one. Once alone in his room, he couldn't hold in his emotions any longer. He couldn't be bothered to get undressed. He crawled into bed, suit and all, and cried. He lay in the pitch black room remembering every precious moment he had spent with her. He expertly reached through the darkness for the picture on his bedside table, the one of the four of them at the skating party, and clutched it tightly to his chest. That day had been one of his happiest since coming to Pittsburgh. All of his time with her was happy, even when she was being difficult, and god only knows she could be difficult! That was one of the many things he loved about her. One of the things he would always love about her. He didn't care what she said, there would be no moving on for him, not anytime in the near future anyways.
He closed his eyes and thought back to the kiss they had finally shared. Passionate, gentle, full of the love they were both feeling for each other, but too afraid to admit. A small smile appeared across his lips and tears ran down the side of his face. For the first time in his entire life, he cried himself to sleep.
**********************************************
In one of the guest bedrooms of the Lemieux house, Trina was questioning her husband about their son's behaviour.
"What happened out there tonight Troy? Sidney was so angry. It's not like him to play like that. I'm worried about him. I went to his door to say goodnight and I heard him crying."
"Crying? Sidney doesn't cry."
"That's why it's so unsettling, but I'm quite sure I know what I heard Troy. What's going on with him?"
"He has alot of pressure on him hon, and the team isn't doing well. You know he's not used to losing like this. And I'm sure he's not over the Olympic thing either. Everyone has a breaking point and maybe he's reached his. Give him a few days, and I'm sure he'll be back to his old self."
"Are you sure that's all it is? He seems in pretty bad shape for it to just be the pressure and disappointment. Maybe it has something to do with that girl...what's her name?...that he hasn't stopped talking about. Oh what's her name?"
"What girl?"
"You know, the one with the two boys...Bekah! That's her name. Maybe it has something to do with her. He obviously likes her very much."
"Trina, he hardly knows the girl. I'm sure she has nothing to do with any of this. Now stop your worrying, Sidney will be fine. He always bounces back."
"I'm his mother, I will never stop worrying about him, but I hope you're right. I can't stand seeing him like this."
***************************************************
Nathalie sat next to Mario in their bed and studied the disturbing look of worry on his face. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on her husband's back. He took a deep breath at the mere touch of her hand.
"I'm torn Nat. I don't know what to do."
He had told her the whole story the night that it happened, and had filled her in on the most recent events from that morning that he himself had only learned because he had forced Sid to tell him what was bothering him. Sid couldn't keep anything this big from Mario, and Mario could never hide anything from Nathalie, she saw right through it. They both adored Bekah and thought she was so good for Sidney, so they too were in anguish over what Troy had done."
"You're in a very difficult position sweetheart. You promised Troy you'd take care of his son, and you and I both know that he needs Bekah in his life. But you're not his father, Mario. You have to respect Troy's wishes...no matter how much you might disagree with them."
"But this is just so wrong. He loves her Nat, and to keep them apart like that...in such a devious manner...don't you think Sid deserves to know what his father has done?"
"Of course I do, but it's not your place. If you tell him the truth you could damage their relationship and where would that get you? All you can do is be there for Sid when he needs you. I believe those two are meant to be together. The kind of bond they have can survive anything, even a meddling father. Give it time to run it's course, and I bet you'll see them find their way back to each other."
"But will that happen before the kid completely self destructs and blows his rookie season?"
"Only time will tell sweetheart."
"If he doesn't snap out of this funk sooner rather than later, I'll have no choice but to tell him. I won't let him throw this year away."
She gave him a loving kiss on the forehead. After all these years, she still loved his compassion almost above anything else. "You will do what you think is right...you always do."
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