----------Sidney's POV------------
"Good morning Sidney," Mario said without putting the morning paper down.
"Morning," Sidney grumbled. He went to the fridge, opened the door and saw all the food Nat had already prepared for tonight's feast. He groaned and shut the door without taking anything out; instead opting to grab a banana and sit down across from Mario at the counter.
"Sleep well?" Mario inquired, already knowing what the answer was.
"Not really."
Mario peered over the top of his paper at the young man he had come to think of as one of his own children. It pained him to see Sidney in obvious distress; even if it was only obvious to him.
"So the kids are happy to have Taylor here, but I think Austin is excited to have Alex and Jake with us. He's getting tired of being thee only boy around."
"They won't be coming," Sidney said quietly.
"Oh, I see. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," he replied going back to the fridge and this time taking out a bottle of water. "I just don't get it. Most girls would be thrilled that you asked them to spend the holiday with your family, especially when you don't see that family very often."
"But Bekah is not most girls."
"No, no she isn't. She's knows I hardly ever get to see my family, why is she so angry that I want to spend Thanksgiving with them?"
Mario thought for a moment before speaking.
"Do you really want me to tell you? You might not like what you hear."
Sidney raised his eyebrow and hesitantly nodded his head.
"Walk me through the conversation you had with her."
"I just said that my family was coming for Thanksgiving and Nat was cooking and we all hoped that her and the boys would join us for dinner."
"A very warm, loving invitation from the boyfriend you haven't seen in what? Two weeks, maybe longer? And what was her reaction?"
"She said she wanted me to spend the day at her house and have dinner with them. She has this family tradition; they watch football, have dinner, and put up the Christmas tree. It's something she used to do with her Grandmother. I offered to compromise and have dinner here then go put up her tree but that wasn't good enough."
"I see. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're an idiot!"
"Hey!"
"I can't believe I have to explain this to you. Who was the most important person in Bekah's life?"
"Her brother and her Grandmother."
"If you know she has this family tradition that the most important person in her life started, why is this even an issue? You should be thankful that she wanted to include you in it."
"But Mom and Dad and Tay are here. I never get to see them anymore. She knows how important family is to me."
"And her family is important to her, whether they are still here or not. And when do you get to see her? You are in the same city and as far as I can tell, you don't see much of each other."
"I know but..."
"No buts! Do you love her?"
"Of course I do."
"I mean really love her, not just the idea of having someone there when you have a few minutes to spare; but really love her and the person she is?"
"I think so."
"You think so? Not good enough. You have to know."
"Well I've never been in love before but, she gets me ya know, and that's important."
"You're still not hearing me Sid. You can't even convince me that you love her, how are you supposed to convince her? Let your guard down, it's me and you here. Tell me how you feel about her; tell me how she makes you feel."
Sid closed his eyes and was quiet for a long time. He pictured the first time their eyes met and how it felt like a lightening bolt travelled through his body; the look on her face when he showed up at her house and she was baking enough cookies to feed the entire city of Pittsburgh. He saw the look of heartfelt sympathy in her eyes when she found him at the hospital scared out of his mind not knowing what was happening with Mario, and how beautiful she looked that same night in the parking lot with the snowflakes falling in her hair. Then he remembered how it had devastated him just after Christmas when she told him it was over; how he barely made it to the spot where they liked to go and watch the lights of the city before he broke down and cried. Then his trip down memory lane reminded him how he thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest last New Year's Eve when she told him she loved him for the first time and how just this past summer he had become so overcome with emotion after making love to her for the first time.
"Yes, I love her Mario. She's amazing in every way. I can be myself when I'm with her and she doesn't judge me. All it takes to make her happy is something little like showing up with dinner after she's had a long day, and making her happy is all I want to do. She makes me want to be a better person, for her and the boys. How do I know I love her? Because my heart still skips a beat whenever I hear her voice, she takes my breath away whenever she walks into the room, and my heart melts when she smiles at me. She's the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep. When I'm not with her, I feel incomplete and all I can think about is when am I going to see her again. That's how I know that I love her."
Sidney slumped back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair.
"And have you told Bekah this?"
"Umm...no."
"Maybe you should. You just said all you want to do is make her happy and all it takes to do that is something small; like making a trip to the hospital to make the day of a special patient?"
"How do you know about that?"
"Nat and Bekah talk Sid. She was very hurt when you didn't go. I want you to listen carefully. You can't just say a few nice words and expect her to believe them. The only way to prove that you love her, that she's important to you is to show her. That means going to the hospital to see that little boy. That means whatever is important to her becomes important to you. You make sacrifices for her, including embracing her family traditions. When two people come together and expecct to share a life together, they have to combine everything. When Nat and I got together we had to compromise on things like who's family we were going to spend the holidays with; especially after we had kids. Bekah has her own family, and inviting you to be part of it is a huge deal and you just blew it off like it wasn't important. That's a slap in the face to someone who makes so many sacrifices just to be with you. If you are serious about her and being part of her family, then you have to stop being so selfish. It's not all about you anymore Sidney; it's about this family that you're trying to create and if you don't pull your head out of your ass, it will be all about you because you will be alone."
Sidney was somewhat surprised by the ass chewing he just received from his mentor, but he was appreciative.
"Thanks Mario. You're absolutely right. I have been a complete jerk."
"Question is, what do you plan to do about it?"
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Chapter 110
Weeks had passed with no real change. I worked, took the boys to hockey and played the part of supportive girlfriend as best I could, but Sid wasn't making it easy. He played hockey, went to practice, made radio and television appearances, went to one commercial or photoshoot after another, attended every team function and served as babysitter to the Lemieux kids on occasion. He did make a conscious effort to take the time to make sure we talked every night but I could count the number of times I'd seen him in the last six weeks on one hand. And he still had made no attempt to see Sam in the hospital despite a few subtle reminders.
And then there was Max. Uncle Max was turning out to be the constant in our lives. He was there when the boys got home from school if I couldn't be; making dinner on occasion so we weren't eating at eight o'clock at night. He helped with homework and read bedtime stories; was a cheerleader at hockey games, but most of all he was just there. There for me and there for the boys.
"So how long are they gone for?" Lily asked one night as we settled in to watch the game on tv.
"10 days," I replied.
"Ouch, that's a long one! I don't know if I could handle being away from my man that long all the time."
"Lily, you can't handle keeping a man for that long let alone being away from him!"
"Point taken," she smiled as we clinked our wine glasses together. "But seriously, isn't it tough having Sid gone so much?"
"Honestly, it's really no different. I don't see him when he is home. I probably talk to him more when he's on the road because he doesn't go out with the guys; doesn't want to cause a scene you know," I said in my best snobby voice.
"And you're just okay with that?"
"What choice do I have Lil? This is his life and I knew that when I signed up. It was my choice and now I have to live with it."
"Oh my fucking God! Do you hear yourself right now? You're talking about choosing to be with Sid like it was choosing to get a ridiculous tattoo when you were younger - you have to live with it? Seriously Beks, of course you have a choice! If you're unhappy end it."
"Whoa, wait a minute, I never said I was unhappy. Dating Sid is not like dating some guy I picked up in a bar; it takes patience and sacrifice, but he's worth it."
"Is he? Forgive me Beks but I haven't heard anything since the end of summer that would make me think that he's worth it. Do I need to remind you about Sam?"
"No Lily, you do not," I said tersely. "I am fully aware that Sid has let me down on occasion..."
"And there's always a very sexy Frenchman waiting to pick up the pieces."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, it's merely an observation."
"Max is my friend Lily, he understands what life with Sid is like."
"I have no doubt that he does, but just a friend? Are you sure, cause from where I'm sitting it sure seems like it's Max you're in a relationship with, not Sid. Not that I would blame you..."
"Lily! Why would you even say that? You know Max and I are just friends."
"No, I know that you think that you and Max are just friends, but are you sure that's the way he feels? Cause I gotta tell you Beks, he sure doesn't seem to mind playing the role of domestic bliss with you; and Sam? He visits him like every other day. Does Sid do any of that?"
"No. But that doesn't mean that Max has feelings for me."
"Tell yourself whatever you need to to get through the day, but I'm telling you straight up; Max Talbot is in love with you and you're to blind to see it."
Just then my phone rang and Lily looked at it to see the caller id. "Hmmmm bachelor number one," she said tossing me the phone.
I was still starring at Lily and no words were able to leave my mouth.
"Now would be a good time to say hello."
"Uh, hi Sidney."
"Hey beautiful, you okay, you sound funny?"
"No, I'm good, just tired. Great game tonight babe. You played really well."
"Thanks, everything just seemed to click tonight, it was nice for a change. Did you and the boys watch?"
"They watched the first period and that was about all they could manage so it was just me and Lily."
"Nice; you guys haven't been able to spend much time together lately. What's new with her? Or should I say who's the latest victim?" he chuckled.
"Sid, that's not very nice. She's good, and for your information, she is currently victimless."
"Hey, I heard that! Thanks alot dick!" she shouted so Sid could hear her.
"It comes from a place of love Lily, don't mind him. You're in an awfully good mood tonight. Any particular reason?"
"Nope, just happy. I had a great night, I'm talking to my beautiful girlfriend, what's not to be happy about?"
"Okay, now you're scaring me. Where's the real Sid?"
"Thanks alot! I don't know, I'm just in a good place right now. Maybe it's because by the time we get home it will be Thanksgiving and I'm looking forward to having the two days off. Speaking of which, my family is coming and we were all kind of hoping that you and the boys would join us at Mario's for Thanksgiving dinner."
"Like on the Thursday?"
"Well, yeah that is Thanksgiving."
"But you know I have our Thanksgiving tradition, we..."
"It's one day! And my family is coming. Can't you put your tree up on Friday or Saturday? You barely made it before Christmas last year."
"Yeah and that's because I had a ton of stuff going on last year. this year I'm more settled and I was hoping that maybe you'd join us this year since you actually have a day off."
"Ahh Beks, my family's only going to be here for a few days and you know I never get to see them."
"Yeah, I know exactly what that feels like. Look, why don't they come here for dinner, then you get to see them and be part of our tradition too?"
"Nat already has everything planned and I don't think it would be right to change plans at the last minute. I don't get why you just can't come and I'll help you put up the tree on Fiday?"
"It's not about putting up the tree, it's about the family tradition, MY family tradition, forgive me for wanting you to be a part of it!"
I think he sensed my anger and frustration because his tone changed from hostile to soft.
"Why don't we meet in the middle? You guys come to the Lemieux's for dinner and as soon as were done eating, we can go back to your house and do the tree?"
"So I am once again giving up what I want for what you want? You know damn well we won't get out of there right after dinner, and I wouldn't feel right doing that so I guess were at an impass."
"Come in Beks, we can compromise."
"I'm done 'compromising' with you Sidney. All that means is you get your way, and I'm not doing it; not this time. this is too important to me."
"And seeing my family that lives 2000 miles away is important to me," he said with a raised voice.
"Then you should see them. God knows you see them more than you see me and we live in the same fucking city!"
"That's bullshit and you know it!"
"Do I? Three times Sidney; I've seen you exactly three times in the last six and a half weeks. Last time I checked your dad was just here two weeks ago for a week."
"But my mom and Taylor weren't here."
"I am so done with this conversation. You spend Thanksgiving with your family and I'll spend Thanksgiving with my family. There; settled. Goodbye Sidney," and I hung up the phone.
"That went well," Lily said trying to lighten the mood.
"Not now Lily."
And as my blood still boiled the phone rang again.
"I don't want to fight with you anymore Sid, just leave me alone..."
"Bijou? Fighting? What's going on?"
"Nothing Max. It's nothing, I don't really want to talk about it right now."
"If you and Sid are fighting it might help to talk about it?"
"I'm done talking about it. I don't want to talk about it. As far as I' concerned it's resolved."
"Okay, I won't push, but if you want to talk or if you need anything you'll come to me right?"
I was silent for a moment. "Maxie... what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
And then there was Max. Uncle Max was turning out to be the constant in our lives. He was there when the boys got home from school if I couldn't be; making dinner on occasion so we weren't eating at eight o'clock at night. He helped with homework and read bedtime stories; was a cheerleader at hockey games, but most of all he was just there. There for me and there for the boys.
"So how long are they gone for?" Lily asked one night as we settled in to watch the game on tv.
"10 days," I replied.
"Ouch, that's a long one! I don't know if I could handle being away from my man that long all the time."
"Lily, you can't handle keeping a man for that long let alone being away from him!"
"Point taken," she smiled as we clinked our wine glasses together. "But seriously, isn't it tough having Sid gone so much?"
"Honestly, it's really no different. I don't see him when he is home. I probably talk to him more when he's on the road because he doesn't go out with the guys; doesn't want to cause a scene you know," I said in my best snobby voice.
"And you're just okay with that?"
"What choice do I have Lil? This is his life and I knew that when I signed up. It was my choice and now I have to live with it."
"Oh my fucking God! Do you hear yourself right now? You're talking about choosing to be with Sid like it was choosing to get a ridiculous tattoo when you were younger - you have to live with it? Seriously Beks, of course you have a choice! If you're unhappy end it."
"Whoa, wait a minute, I never said I was unhappy. Dating Sid is not like dating some guy I picked up in a bar; it takes patience and sacrifice, but he's worth it."
"Is he? Forgive me Beks but I haven't heard anything since the end of summer that would make me think that he's worth it. Do I need to remind you about Sam?"
"No Lily, you do not," I said tersely. "I am fully aware that Sid has let me down on occasion..."
"And there's always a very sexy Frenchman waiting to pick up the pieces."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, it's merely an observation."
"Max is my friend Lily, he understands what life with Sid is like."
"I have no doubt that he does, but just a friend? Are you sure, cause from where I'm sitting it sure seems like it's Max you're in a relationship with, not Sid. Not that I would blame you..."
"Lily! Why would you even say that? You know Max and I are just friends."
"No, I know that you think that you and Max are just friends, but are you sure that's the way he feels? Cause I gotta tell you Beks, he sure doesn't seem to mind playing the role of domestic bliss with you; and Sam? He visits him like every other day. Does Sid do any of that?"
"No. But that doesn't mean that Max has feelings for me."
"Tell yourself whatever you need to to get through the day, but I'm telling you straight up; Max Talbot is in love with you and you're to blind to see it."
Just then my phone rang and Lily looked at it to see the caller id. "Hmmmm bachelor number one," she said tossing me the phone.
I was still starring at Lily and no words were able to leave my mouth.
"Now would be a good time to say hello."
"Uh, hi Sidney."
"Hey beautiful, you okay, you sound funny?"
"No, I'm good, just tired. Great game tonight babe. You played really well."
"Thanks, everything just seemed to click tonight, it was nice for a change. Did you and the boys watch?"
"They watched the first period and that was about all they could manage so it was just me and Lily."
"Nice; you guys haven't been able to spend much time together lately. What's new with her? Or should I say who's the latest victim?" he chuckled.
"Sid, that's not very nice. She's good, and for your information, she is currently victimless."
"Hey, I heard that! Thanks alot dick!" she shouted so Sid could hear her.
"It comes from a place of love Lily, don't mind him. You're in an awfully good mood tonight. Any particular reason?"
"Nope, just happy. I had a great night, I'm talking to my beautiful girlfriend, what's not to be happy about?"
"Okay, now you're scaring me. Where's the real Sid?"
"Thanks alot! I don't know, I'm just in a good place right now. Maybe it's because by the time we get home it will be Thanksgiving and I'm looking forward to having the two days off. Speaking of which, my family is coming and we were all kind of hoping that you and the boys would join us at Mario's for Thanksgiving dinner."
"Like on the Thursday?"
"Well, yeah that is Thanksgiving."
"But you know I have our Thanksgiving tradition, we..."
"It's one day! And my family is coming. Can't you put your tree up on Friday or Saturday? You barely made it before Christmas last year."
"Yeah and that's because I had a ton of stuff going on last year. this year I'm more settled and I was hoping that maybe you'd join us this year since you actually have a day off."
"Ahh Beks, my family's only going to be here for a few days and you know I never get to see them."
"Yeah, I know exactly what that feels like. Look, why don't they come here for dinner, then you get to see them and be part of our tradition too?"
"Nat already has everything planned and I don't think it would be right to change plans at the last minute. I don't get why you just can't come and I'll help you put up the tree on Fiday?"
"It's not about putting up the tree, it's about the family tradition, MY family tradition, forgive me for wanting you to be a part of it!"
I think he sensed my anger and frustration because his tone changed from hostile to soft.
"Why don't we meet in the middle? You guys come to the Lemieux's for dinner and as soon as were done eating, we can go back to your house and do the tree?"
"So I am once again giving up what I want for what you want? You know damn well we won't get out of there right after dinner, and I wouldn't feel right doing that so I guess were at an impass."
"Come in Beks, we can compromise."
"I'm done 'compromising' with you Sidney. All that means is you get your way, and I'm not doing it; not this time. this is too important to me."
"And seeing my family that lives 2000 miles away is important to me," he said with a raised voice.
"Then you should see them. God knows you see them more than you see me and we live in the same fucking city!"
"That's bullshit and you know it!"
"Do I? Three times Sidney; I've seen you exactly three times in the last six and a half weeks. Last time I checked your dad was just here two weeks ago for a week."
"But my mom and Taylor weren't here."
"I am so done with this conversation. You spend Thanksgiving with your family and I'll spend Thanksgiving with my family. There; settled. Goodbye Sidney," and I hung up the phone.
"That went well," Lily said trying to lighten the mood.
"Not now Lily."
And as my blood still boiled the phone rang again.
"I don't want to fight with you anymore Sid, just leave me alone..."
"Bijou? Fighting? What's going on?"
"Nothing Max. It's nothing, I don't really want to talk about it right now."
"If you and Sid are fighting it might help to talk about it?"
"I'm done talking about it. I don't want to talk about it. As far as I' concerned it's resolved."
"Okay, I won't push, but if you want to talk or if you need anything you'll come to me right?"
I was silent for a moment. "Maxie... what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Happy Birthday Mr. Sid!!!!
I am up to my eyeballs in final projects and exams until the 17th and planning my own birthday bash, but I could not let this day go by without paying tribute to the man who has captured so many of our hearts.
Sidney Patrick Crosby graced the world with his presence 23 years ago today. Who knew back then that he would give us so many special gifts; the Stanley Cup back in Pittsburgh, the Olympic gold medal (sorry all you fans from other countries :()and just the sheer pleasure of letting us all admire his pure awesomeness and beauty.
Sid, I would not want to be in your shoes for all the money in the world. To have the weight of a franchise, a league, and a nation on your shoulders at such a young age was and is a daunting task and you have handled it with the utmost grace and dignity. Everyone is human and makes mistakes and you are no exception; what you are however is an exceptional leader and role model because your expectations are high, but never more than you expect from yourself. You lead quietly by example and inspire those around you to be better. One of the signs of a great leader is to learn from your mistakes and become better because of them, whether it be as a player or as a human being and you have shown time and time again your ability to do just that.
Trina and Troy, thank you for blessing us all with the gift of your amazing son. I can only imagine how proud you must be that the boy you raised has turned into such an incredible young man.
Sidney, my birthday wish for you is that you find inner peace, true love, and pure happiness. After everything you have given to the world, you deserve it!
Happy birthday Sidney!
xoxo
~B~
And FYI...updates for all 3 stories will be coming soon, if not before, definitely when the brain drain of this semester is over!
Sidney Patrick Crosby graced the world with his presence 23 years ago today. Who knew back then that he would give us so many special gifts; the Stanley Cup back in Pittsburgh, the Olympic gold medal (sorry all you fans from other countries :()and just the sheer pleasure of letting us all admire his pure awesomeness and beauty.
Sid, I would not want to be in your shoes for all the money in the world. To have the weight of a franchise, a league, and a nation on your shoulders at such a young age was and is a daunting task and you have handled it with the utmost grace and dignity. Everyone is human and makes mistakes and you are no exception; what you are however is an exceptional leader and role model because your expectations are high, but never more than you expect from yourself. You lead quietly by example and inspire those around you to be better. One of the signs of a great leader is to learn from your mistakes and become better because of them, whether it be as a player or as a human being and you have shown time and time again your ability to do just that.
Trina and Troy, thank you for blessing us all with the gift of your amazing son. I can only imagine how proud you must be that the boy you raised has turned into such an incredible young man.
Sidney, my birthday wish for you is that you find inner peace, true love, and pure happiness. After everything you have given to the world, you deserve it!
Happy birthday Sidney!
xoxo
~B~
And FYI...updates for all 3 stories will be coming soon, if not before, definitely when the brain drain of this semester is over!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Chapter 109
"For you beautiful," Sidney said handing me a glass of wine and kissing my cheek.
"Thank you. Where are the boys?"
"Already fed and in their rooms doing homework. Come with me."
"I just want to go see the boys first."
"Hello my babies," I said from the doorway of Alex's room. Jake came bounding in and flopped on his brother's bed.
"Come on, hugs please."
After hugs that lasted a little too long for my sons' liking, I asked how school was, and what they had for dinner.
"Sid made us psghetti," Jake answered. "It was good too! Better than Mrs. Parker's but not as good as yours."
"Thanks honey. Alex, you have anything to say?"
"Not really. Dinner was good."
"And?"
"Nothing."
"Jake can you go back to your room and let me talk to your brother?"
"Sure Mom."
"Alright Alex. There's something you're not telling me, what is it?"
He just looked at me for a long time before he let out a big sigh.
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"I can't promise that if I don't know what it is."
"I just don't want you to be mad at me..."
"Honey now you're starting to scare me. Please, whatever's bothering you, you can tell me. You can tell me anything."
"Okay. I want you to know that I really, really like Sid so this isn't because I don't like him. Sid hasn't been around much since we came home and Max has been spending lots of time with us; he's been helping me with some projects I've had for school and we've been hanging out and doing...family stuff." He paused. "We don't do the same kinds of stuff when Sid is here. It's...I don't know...different."
He looked like he still had more to say so I looked at him and urged him to continue.
"And...?"
"And...you were so happy when we were visiting Sid in Nova Scotia and not so happy since we've been home."
"I've been happy..."
"Not the same happy...and you only smile if you're doing something with us or Max is here. When Max is with us we are always laughing and having fun. It's not the same when Sid is here...if he's here."
"You don't have fun with Sid?"
"Yeah we have fun but it's just...different. It just seems like everything is so different here. Sid's different, you're different. I really like Sid Mom, but if you're going to be sad because he can't hang out with us, maybe you should just be..."
"Just be what?"
"I just want you to be happy Mom, whatever it takes."
I wrapped him in a huge hug and said "How did you get to be so smart anyway?"
"I'm not a little kid anymore Mom."
"I know. You're growing up before my eyes. Listen, I don't want you to be worrying about all this grown up stuff. I'm glad you like hanging out with Max, and yes we do have lots of fun, but that's because we're just very good friends, there's no pressure. When you are in a relationship with someone, you try hard to impress them so they will like you."
"But you and Sid already like each other."
"You're right, but you don't always act the same way around someone you're in a relationship with than you do with your friends."
"That's stupid. You should be able to act the same around everyone."
"Ya know what? You're right, you should, but it doesn't always work that way. Let's just try and cut Sid a little slack okay? Of course everything is going to be different here because it's not vacation anymore. We're both back to work and that is stressful; plus you know how hard it is for Sid here. Everybody wants something from him; his time, his autograph, his picture; it's a lot of work to be Sidney Crosby and he's still figuring out how to deal with it. He doesn't want to let anyone downand that includes us; especially us, so maybe we should do whatever we can to help him figure it out and not be too hard on him when he can't always be here okay?"
"Okay. Like I said, I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy," I said giving him another hug. "I've got the best kid-s in the whole world!"
Great advise. Now, if only I believed it.
**************************************
"Sorry," I said wandering back into the kitchen.
"No problem. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, Alex just had some stuff on his mind and I wouldn't leave until I pried it out of him."
"Nothing serious I hope?"
"Naw, just some stuff with school."
"Good, now come with me," he said taking me by the hand and leading me into the dining room.
There were candles everywhere and a beautiful bouquet of lilies in the middle of the table. There were two place settings of beautiful china, silverware, and crystal sparkling in the candle light.
"Where did all this come from?" I asked in total shock.
"I'm not going to lie...Nat helped me out," he smiled coyly, "But the pasta is all me, I swear!"
Dinner was excellent. We ate and made small talk, keeping the conversation light. When we were finished eating, Sidney insisted I go into the family room and rest while he did dish duty. I agreed, but only after tucking the boys into bed. Sid made a point to go in and say goodnight to both of them as well.
It was unusually cool already for October, so I lit a fire and settled on the couch with my glass of wine and a book.
When Sid was finished in the kitchen he joined me on the couch, lifting my feet and putting them on his lap. When he started to rub them I couldn't hold back a moan of pleasure.
"Feel good baby?"
"Amazing," I mumbled letting my eyes roll back in my head.
"I haven't heard you moan like that since our last night in Nova Scotia," he whispered.
"And who's fault is that?" I said without opening my eyes.
I felt him stiffen and regretted my words as soon as I said them...kind of.
'Remember what you told Max,' I said to myself. 'Don't let him off easy.'
His voice was soft as he spoke.
"Beks, I know things have been...rough since we came back. I haven't been around much and when I have, I've been...moody; but I'm trying. I'm trying to figure this out as I go and I know I'm not doing a very good job of it, but I'm trying. I don't want to disappoint anyone, least of all you and the boys. I'm sorry; I'm really trying."
His voice sounded sorrowful and it broke my heart. I really couldn't imagine being in his shoes, especially at his age. God knows I didn't have my shit together when I was nineteen.
I sat up and faced him.
"I get it Sid, I do. No amount of grooming can prepare you for the kind of pressure you're under. I don't think anyone, even your handlers, thought Sidney Crosby was going to be as big as you are, I get it. I know what I signed up for when I got into a relationship with you; but knowing it in your head and feeling it in your heart when you're living it are two different things. I'm trying too; trying not to put my own unfair expectations on you because that's the last thing you need. But, what you need to remember is you can make millions of fans happy, dozens of sponsors and the league too; but at the end of the day, it will mean nothing if you have no one to come home to and share it with. If you put the people who love you last on your list because you think they're always going to be there, that's exactly what's going to happen."
He hugged me long and tight.
"I know," he whispered into my hair. "I'm trying to figure out a balance."
"I hate to tell you this, but finding that balance is going to require you to say no sometimes."
"I know."
"Do you? I mean, you say the words but your actions say something different. As far as I can tell, the only one you've said no to is me."
"What? When?" he asked surprised.
"When I asked you to stop by the hospital and meet Sam."
"I didn't say no, just that it had to go through PR."
"But why? I wasn't asking for a big parade through the hospital, just for you to quietly slip in, meet the kid and slip out. I don't think that was a unreasonable request."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"Well, I guess there's nothing else to say."
The silence between us was almost deafening. I finally caved and wrapped him in a hug. He pulled back slightly and when his lips met mine, the heat flowing through my body threatened to melt away any left over anger and disappointment. I let out another low moan and Sid took it as an invitation to go further.
"I've been waiting to make you moan since we got back here. I want you so badly Beks," he whispered, his voice laden with lust. "Let's go to bed and see what I can do about that."
I pulled back from him immediately.
"Whoa, slow down cowboy. I thought I made it clear there would be no spending the night when the boys were here. Not yet."
"Who said anything about spending the night? I can be out of here before they wake up," he replied leaning in to pick up where he left off.
"Is that what this whole thing was about? You need to get laid so you thought you could make me dinner and say all the right things and that would make up for the last few weeks; all would be forgiven and I'd jump right back into bed with you?
"No, of course not! I've missed you; I've missed us being together."
"Then figure out a way to fix it! I need to get to bed, I have work in the morning so you should get going."
I stood up and walked to the front door.
"Are you serious right now? I thought we were working this out?"
"So did I. What's done is done; we'll move on from here, but if you think that you can just apologize and everything goes back to the way it was you've got another thing coming. We'll start with a clean slate but that means you have to earn my love and trust. Show me that you're willing to do the work and give me and this relationship the effort it deserves. I'm not asking to be your number one priority, I'm just asking for a little respect and consideration. If you can do that, then we'll see what happens. Until then...goodnight Sidney."
"Thank you. Where are the boys?"
"Already fed and in their rooms doing homework. Come with me."
"I just want to go see the boys first."
"Hello my babies," I said from the doorway of Alex's room. Jake came bounding in and flopped on his brother's bed.
"Come on, hugs please."
After hugs that lasted a little too long for my sons' liking, I asked how school was, and what they had for dinner.
"Sid made us psghetti," Jake answered. "It was good too! Better than Mrs. Parker's but not as good as yours."
"Thanks honey. Alex, you have anything to say?"
"Not really. Dinner was good."
"And?"
"Nothing."
"Jake can you go back to your room and let me talk to your brother?"
"Sure Mom."
"Alright Alex. There's something you're not telling me, what is it?"
He just looked at me for a long time before he let out a big sigh.
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"I can't promise that if I don't know what it is."
"I just don't want you to be mad at me..."
"Honey now you're starting to scare me. Please, whatever's bothering you, you can tell me. You can tell me anything."
"Okay. I want you to know that I really, really like Sid so this isn't because I don't like him. Sid hasn't been around much since we came home and Max has been spending lots of time with us; he's been helping me with some projects I've had for school and we've been hanging out and doing...family stuff." He paused. "We don't do the same kinds of stuff when Sid is here. It's...I don't know...different."
He looked like he still had more to say so I looked at him and urged him to continue.
"And...?"
"And...you were so happy when we were visiting Sid in Nova Scotia and not so happy since we've been home."
"I've been happy..."
"Not the same happy...and you only smile if you're doing something with us or Max is here. When Max is with us we are always laughing and having fun. It's not the same when Sid is here...if he's here."
"You don't have fun with Sid?"
"Yeah we have fun but it's just...different. It just seems like everything is so different here. Sid's different, you're different. I really like Sid Mom, but if you're going to be sad because he can't hang out with us, maybe you should just be..."
"Just be what?"
"I just want you to be happy Mom, whatever it takes."
I wrapped him in a huge hug and said "How did you get to be so smart anyway?"
"I'm not a little kid anymore Mom."
"I know. You're growing up before my eyes. Listen, I don't want you to be worrying about all this grown up stuff. I'm glad you like hanging out with Max, and yes we do have lots of fun, but that's because we're just very good friends, there's no pressure. When you are in a relationship with someone, you try hard to impress them so they will like you."
"But you and Sid already like each other."
"You're right, but you don't always act the same way around someone you're in a relationship with than you do with your friends."
"That's stupid. You should be able to act the same around everyone."
"Ya know what? You're right, you should, but it doesn't always work that way. Let's just try and cut Sid a little slack okay? Of course everything is going to be different here because it's not vacation anymore. We're both back to work and that is stressful; plus you know how hard it is for Sid here. Everybody wants something from him; his time, his autograph, his picture; it's a lot of work to be Sidney Crosby and he's still figuring out how to deal with it. He doesn't want to let anyone downand that includes us; especially us, so maybe we should do whatever we can to help him figure it out and not be too hard on him when he can't always be here okay?"
"Okay. Like I said, I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy," I said giving him another hug. "I've got the best kid-s in the whole world!"
Great advise. Now, if only I believed it.
**************************************
"Sorry," I said wandering back into the kitchen.
"No problem. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, Alex just had some stuff on his mind and I wouldn't leave until I pried it out of him."
"Nothing serious I hope?"
"Naw, just some stuff with school."
"Good, now come with me," he said taking me by the hand and leading me into the dining room.
There were candles everywhere and a beautiful bouquet of lilies in the middle of the table. There were two place settings of beautiful china, silverware, and crystal sparkling in the candle light.
"Where did all this come from?" I asked in total shock.
"I'm not going to lie...Nat helped me out," he smiled coyly, "But the pasta is all me, I swear!"
Dinner was excellent. We ate and made small talk, keeping the conversation light. When we were finished eating, Sidney insisted I go into the family room and rest while he did dish duty. I agreed, but only after tucking the boys into bed. Sid made a point to go in and say goodnight to both of them as well.
It was unusually cool already for October, so I lit a fire and settled on the couch with my glass of wine and a book.
When Sid was finished in the kitchen he joined me on the couch, lifting my feet and putting them on his lap. When he started to rub them I couldn't hold back a moan of pleasure.
"Feel good baby?"
"Amazing," I mumbled letting my eyes roll back in my head.
"I haven't heard you moan like that since our last night in Nova Scotia," he whispered.
"And who's fault is that?" I said without opening my eyes.
I felt him stiffen and regretted my words as soon as I said them...kind of.
'Remember what you told Max,' I said to myself. 'Don't let him off easy.'
His voice was soft as he spoke.
"Beks, I know things have been...rough since we came back. I haven't been around much and when I have, I've been...moody; but I'm trying. I'm trying to figure this out as I go and I know I'm not doing a very good job of it, but I'm trying. I don't want to disappoint anyone, least of all you and the boys. I'm sorry; I'm really trying."
His voice sounded sorrowful and it broke my heart. I really couldn't imagine being in his shoes, especially at his age. God knows I didn't have my shit together when I was nineteen.
I sat up and faced him.
"I get it Sid, I do. No amount of grooming can prepare you for the kind of pressure you're under. I don't think anyone, even your handlers, thought Sidney Crosby was going to be as big as you are, I get it. I know what I signed up for when I got into a relationship with you; but knowing it in your head and feeling it in your heart when you're living it are two different things. I'm trying too; trying not to put my own unfair expectations on you because that's the last thing you need. But, what you need to remember is you can make millions of fans happy, dozens of sponsors and the league too; but at the end of the day, it will mean nothing if you have no one to come home to and share it with. If you put the people who love you last on your list because you think they're always going to be there, that's exactly what's going to happen."
He hugged me long and tight.
"I know," he whispered into my hair. "I'm trying to figure out a balance."
"I hate to tell you this, but finding that balance is going to require you to say no sometimes."
"I know."
"Do you? I mean, you say the words but your actions say something different. As far as I can tell, the only one you've said no to is me."
"What? When?" he asked surprised.
"When I asked you to stop by the hospital and meet Sam."
"I didn't say no, just that it had to go through PR."
"But why? I wasn't asking for a big parade through the hospital, just for you to quietly slip in, meet the kid and slip out. I don't think that was a unreasonable request."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"Well, I guess there's nothing else to say."
The silence between us was almost deafening. I finally caved and wrapped him in a hug. He pulled back slightly and when his lips met mine, the heat flowing through my body threatened to melt away any left over anger and disappointment. I let out another low moan and Sid took it as an invitation to go further.
"I've been waiting to make you moan since we got back here. I want you so badly Beks," he whispered, his voice laden with lust. "Let's go to bed and see what I can do about that."
I pulled back from him immediately.
"Whoa, slow down cowboy. I thought I made it clear there would be no spending the night when the boys were here. Not yet."
"Who said anything about spending the night? I can be out of here before they wake up," he replied leaning in to pick up where he left off.
"Is that what this whole thing was about? You need to get laid so you thought you could make me dinner and say all the right things and that would make up for the last few weeks; all would be forgiven and I'd jump right back into bed with you?
"No, of course not! I've missed you; I've missed us being together."
"Then figure out a way to fix it! I need to get to bed, I have work in the morning so you should get going."
I stood up and walked to the front door.
"Are you serious right now? I thought we were working this out?"
"So did I. What's done is done; we'll move on from here, but if you think that you can just apologize and everything goes back to the way it was you've got another thing coming. We'll start with a clean slate but that means you have to earn my love and trust. Show me that you're willing to do the work and give me and this relationship the effort it deserves. I'm not asking to be your number one priority, I'm just asking for a little respect and consideration. If you can do that, then we'll see what happens. Until then...goodnight Sidney."
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Chapter 108
Three days had past and I had not had any more than a two minute conversation with Sid. They were on a seven day road trip and sadly, I was ready to have a break from him. I didn't want to be around him when I was still so angry. I didn't sit at home and wait for him to call; I was busy too, which is a good thing because if he found a few minutes to call it was usually before he had to run off to an interview or photo shoot or something that desperately needed the presence of Sidney Crosby. Isn't it funny that Max and I talked for an hour every night before going to sleep?
"So when are you gonna tell me who my competition is?" Sam asked me as I hung his new iv bag.
"I like to keep a little mystery in my life."
"You already know who your boyfriend is so it's not a mystery for you. Why can't you tell me? Is it that that doctor guy who keeps making googly eyes at you, what's his name? Richardson? Oh god, please tell me it's not that guy! He's such a pretty boy! He should be in one of those girly fashion magazines. He totally thinks he's god's gift to women. I'm begging you...it's not him is it?"
"Gee Sam, how do you really feel? I'll be sure to tell Dr. Richardson that you're his biggest fan."
"Seriously Bekah, you can do so much better than that goober, you could have me!"
"Hmmmmm, tough decision."
Just then there was a knock at the door and I heard a familiar voice say "So I heard there was a Penguins fan hiding out in here," before a football went whizzing by my head.
Sam caught it and his amazing blue eyes lit up to match the ones that were looking back at us.
"Hey bijou," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek before going over to Sam and offering him a handshake.
"You're...you're..."
"Max Talbot, nice to meet you Sam."
Sam looked at me dumbfounded and I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Bekah, Max Talbot knows my name! Wait. He knows you? You know Max Talbot? Holy crap!"
I laughed at the stunned look on his face and was sure that it matched mine.
"I told you I met him before," I said chuckling.
"Yeah, met him, not that you knew him and that he was going to walk into my room and kiss you on the...wait. He kissed you! Holy shit! Is that why you wouldn't tell me who the guy was?"
"Sam, slow down and take a breath! Max is NOT my boyfriend."
"Dude! No way, she is way too good for me. But for some reason; one I still don't understand, she has taken pity on me and allowed me to be her friend; best friend actually, right bijou?"
"Yeah Max, the best. I still haven't figured out why either?"
"Ouch dude, she just burned you!" Sam laughed.
Max sat down on the bed beside Sam and suddenly there were two sets of baby blues looking at me.
"I know," Max sighed. "But look at her. She could do just about anything to me and I'd just take it."
"I know right! She's hot; definitely the best thing about this damn place."
"Hi, I'm right here! And stop talking about me like I'm a piece of meat. Maxie, you are dangerously close to having to find a new best friend; and you little man," I said pointing at Sam, "if you're not careful, I'm going to make sure that nurse Bertha will be taking care of you from now on."
"No no no no no! Not big Bertha! I'll do anything, I swear."
I smiled at them over my shoulder on my way out the door.
"See what she did right there Sam? She's a vixen, and those kinds of girls are trouble; have you eating right out of their hands."
"I heard that," I yelled from the hallway.
"Oh hey Bekah," Carrie shouted after me, "phone call for you."
"Who is it?" I asked, walking around the desk at the nurses station.
"I don't know but he sounds cute!"
"How exactly does one sound cute?" I laughed.
"I don't know. I need help!"
"You need a date girl!"
"No, I need to get laid!" she laughed shaking her head.
"Hello?"
"Hey beautiful, can I interest you in dinner tonight? We just got back and I'm dying to see you."
"What's with the 180 degree flip with the personality?" I asked cooly.
"What do you mean, Beks? I've been gone for seven days and I missed you. I want to see you."
"Yeah and for the last ten days you've been a miserable jerk who couldn't find the time or the inclination to call his girlfriend; now you just expect me to forget the way you've treated me and have dinner with you because you say you've missed me? Sorry, I don't work that way pal."
"I know I've been a little moody lately, and I'm sorry. If you let me come over for dinner tonight, I'll promise I'll make it up to you."
"Oh, so now I have to make you dinner too?"
"No, I'll make dinner."
I was silent for a minute.
"Whaddya say...Sid's famous spaghetti...a little wine..." he urged.
"If you screw this up Crosby, you'll be ordering take out."
"I know. I'll see you at five. I love you."
"Ditto. See you at five."
I finished my rounds and was getting ready to head home for the day, but not without saying goodnight to Sam. When I walked into his room I was surprised to find Max still there and playing NHL O7 with Sam.
"Yeah baby! Gooooooooaaaaaaalllllll! Beks, I just kicked Max Talbot's ass!"
"Whoa whoa whoa! You did not kick my ass. You only beat me by two goals."
"I kicked your ass!"
"Fine you kicked my ass; but wait til you get out on the ice, then we'll see who kicks who's ass."
"Whoa! Out on what ice," I interrupted.
"Max said once I get better he'd take me to the arena so we could play a real game, isn't that awesome?"
"Awesome," I replied.
"And he said that I need to sweet talk you in to taking me to a game, turn on the old Bradley charm..."
"Maxime Talbot! I leave you alone for two hours and you've turned this sweet, innocent young boy into...YOU!"
"Relax chérie, I will be a perfect gentleman," Sam said smoothly.
"Unbelievable! It's like a mini Max! That's it Talbot, you are banned from this hospital forever!"
"C'mon bijou, I finally have a prodigy!"
"Goodnight Sam, don't give the night nurses a hard time okay?"
"Oui, mon amour, bon soir."
"Lord help us all, there's two of them! Let's go superstar," I said grabbing Max's hand and pulling him towards the door, "your little mini me needs to rest. I'll see you tomorrow Sam."
"And I'll see you Wednesday bud," Max called.
"I can't believe you spent the whole afternoon with Sam, Max. You didn't have to do that," I said as we got on the elevator.
"I know I didn't have to; I wanted to. You were right, he is an awesome kid. And totally in love with you by the way, but who could blame him?"
I swatted him on the arm.
"Seriously Max, it's great that you spent time with him; I really appreciate it, but you shouldn't be promising him things that aren't going to happen."
"Why won't they happen? I'd love to get him out on the ice. Do you know they don't even have an arena in the town he lives in? That's not right!"
"Max, his chances of ever leaving this hospital are not good," I said softly.
Max saw the sadness in my eyes and put his arm protectively around my shoulders.
"All the more reason to give him something to look forward to then."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we rode down the rest of the way in silence. When we reached the parking lot Max said, "Can I interest you in some dinner? I'll cook?"
"I'd love to Max, but Sid's coming for dinner."
"And all is forgiven," he replied solemnly.
"No, all is not forgiven, but we do need to talk about it."
"Just do me a favour okay?"
"What?"
"Don't let him off the hook too easy. He was an ass and if you let him get away with it now, he'll think he can treat you like that all the time and then I'd have to kick his ass and Mario will ship me to some place like...Florida."
"I won't let him off easy, I promise," I said smiling.
"Good. Besides, if things don't work out with Sid, you have another young stud who's already in love with you."
"Oh yeah? And who would that be?"
He smiled that charming Talbot smile, and kissed me on the forehead.
"Sam!"
"Right! I'll keep that in mind. Seriously Max, thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For listening to my bullshit, for trying to look out for me, and most of all for today; with Sam. You have no idea how much it means to him; to both of us."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He kissed my cheek and shut the door of my car after I got in.
The drive home flew by, and before I knew it I was in my driveway, Sid's range rover already there. I turned of the car and took a deep breath.
'Be strong Bekah. Stand your ground. He needs to know that you will not accept his behaviour,' I told myself.
'Here goes nothing.'
I pushed open the front door. "I'm home!"
"So when are you gonna tell me who my competition is?" Sam asked me as I hung his new iv bag.
"I like to keep a little mystery in my life."
"You already know who your boyfriend is so it's not a mystery for you. Why can't you tell me? Is it that that doctor guy who keeps making googly eyes at you, what's his name? Richardson? Oh god, please tell me it's not that guy! He's such a pretty boy! He should be in one of those girly fashion magazines. He totally thinks he's god's gift to women. I'm begging you...it's not him is it?"
"Gee Sam, how do you really feel? I'll be sure to tell Dr. Richardson that you're his biggest fan."
"Seriously Bekah, you can do so much better than that goober, you could have me!"
"Hmmmmm, tough decision."
Just then there was a knock at the door and I heard a familiar voice say "So I heard there was a Penguins fan hiding out in here," before a football went whizzing by my head.
Sam caught it and his amazing blue eyes lit up to match the ones that were looking back at us.
"Hey bijou," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek before going over to Sam and offering him a handshake.
"You're...you're..."
"Max Talbot, nice to meet you Sam."
Sam looked at me dumbfounded and I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Bekah, Max Talbot knows my name! Wait. He knows you? You know Max Talbot? Holy crap!"
I laughed at the stunned look on his face and was sure that it matched mine.
"I told you I met him before," I said chuckling.
"Yeah, met him, not that you knew him and that he was going to walk into my room and kiss you on the...wait. He kissed you! Holy shit! Is that why you wouldn't tell me who the guy was?"
"Sam, slow down and take a breath! Max is NOT my boyfriend."
"Dude! No way, she is way too good for me. But for some reason; one I still don't understand, she has taken pity on me and allowed me to be her friend; best friend actually, right bijou?"
"Yeah Max, the best. I still haven't figured out why either?"
"Ouch dude, she just burned you!" Sam laughed.
Max sat down on the bed beside Sam and suddenly there were two sets of baby blues looking at me.
"I know," Max sighed. "But look at her. She could do just about anything to me and I'd just take it."
"I know right! She's hot; definitely the best thing about this damn place."
"Hi, I'm right here! And stop talking about me like I'm a piece of meat. Maxie, you are dangerously close to having to find a new best friend; and you little man," I said pointing at Sam, "if you're not careful, I'm going to make sure that nurse Bertha will be taking care of you from now on."
"No no no no no! Not big Bertha! I'll do anything, I swear."
I smiled at them over my shoulder on my way out the door.
"See what she did right there Sam? She's a vixen, and those kinds of girls are trouble; have you eating right out of their hands."
"I heard that," I yelled from the hallway.
"Oh hey Bekah," Carrie shouted after me, "phone call for you."
"Who is it?" I asked, walking around the desk at the nurses station.
"I don't know but he sounds cute!"
"How exactly does one sound cute?" I laughed.
"I don't know. I need help!"
"You need a date girl!"
"No, I need to get laid!" she laughed shaking her head.
"Hello?"
"Hey beautiful, can I interest you in dinner tonight? We just got back and I'm dying to see you."
"What's with the 180 degree flip with the personality?" I asked cooly.
"What do you mean, Beks? I've been gone for seven days and I missed you. I want to see you."
"Yeah and for the last ten days you've been a miserable jerk who couldn't find the time or the inclination to call his girlfriend; now you just expect me to forget the way you've treated me and have dinner with you because you say you've missed me? Sorry, I don't work that way pal."
"I know I've been a little moody lately, and I'm sorry. If you let me come over for dinner tonight, I'll promise I'll make it up to you."
"Oh, so now I have to make you dinner too?"
"No, I'll make dinner."
I was silent for a minute.
"Whaddya say...Sid's famous spaghetti...a little wine..." he urged.
"If you screw this up Crosby, you'll be ordering take out."
"I know. I'll see you at five. I love you."
"Ditto. See you at five."
I finished my rounds and was getting ready to head home for the day, but not without saying goodnight to Sam. When I walked into his room I was surprised to find Max still there and playing NHL O7 with Sam.
"Yeah baby! Gooooooooaaaaaaalllllll! Beks, I just kicked Max Talbot's ass!"
"Whoa whoa whoa! You did not kick my ass. You only beat me by two goals."
"I kicked your ass!"
"Fine you kicked my ass; but wait til you get out on the ice, then we'll see who kicks who's ass."
"Whoa! Out on what ice," I interrupted.
"Max said once I get better he'd take me to the arena so we could play a real game, isn't that awesome?"
"Awesome," I replied.
"And he said that I need to sweet talk you in to taking me to a game, turn on the old Bradley charm..."
"Maxime Talbot! I leave you alone for two hours and you've turned this sweet, innocent young boy into...YOU!"
"Relax chérie, I will be a perfect gentleman," Sam said smoothly.
"Unbelievable! It's like a mini Max! That's it Talbot, you are banned from this hospital forever!"
"C'mon bijou, I finally have a prodigy!"
"Goodnight Sam, don't give the night nurses a hard time okay?"
"Oui, mon amour, bon soir."
"Lord help us all, there's two of them! Let's go superstar," I said grabbing Max's hand and pulling him towards the door, "your little mini me needs to rest. I'll see you tomorrow Sam."
"And I'll see you Wednesday bud," Max called.
"I can't believe you spent the whole afternoon with Sam, Max. You didn't have to do that," I said as we got on the elevator.
"I know I didn't have to; I wanted to. You were right, he is an awesome kid. And totally in love with you by the way, but who could blame him?"
I swatted him on the arm.
"Seriously Max, it's great that you spent time with him; I really appreciate it, but you shouldn't be promising him things that aren't going to happen."
"Why won't they happen? I'd love to get him out on the ice. Do you know they don't even have an arena in the town he lives in? That's not right!"
"Max, his chances of ever leaving this hospital are not good," I said softly.
Max saw the sadness in my eyes and put his arm protectively around my shoulders.
"All the more reason to give him something to look forward to then."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we rode down the rest of the way in silence. When we reached the parking lot Max said, "Can I interest you in some dinner? I'll cook?"
"I'd love to Max, but Sid's coming for dinner."
"And all is forgiven," he replied solemnly.
"No, all is not forgiven, but we do need to talk about it."
"Just do me a favour okay?"
"What?"
"Don't let him off the hook too easy. He was an ass and if you let him get away with it now, he'll think he can treat you like that all the time and then I'd have to kick his ass and Mario will ship me to some place like...Florida."
"I won't let him off easy, I promise," I said smiling.
"Good. Besides, if things don't work out with Sid, you have another young stud who's already in love with you."
"Oh yeah? And who would that be?"
He smiled that charming Talbot smile, and kissed me on the forehead.
"Sam!"
"Right! I'll keep that in mind. Seriously Max, thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For listening to my bullshit, for trying to look out for me, and most of all for today; with Sam. You have no idea how much it means to him; to both of us."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He kissed my cheek and shut the door of my car after I got in.
The drive home flew by, and before I knew it I was in my driveway, Sid's range rover already there. I turned of the car and took a deep breath.
'Be strong Bekah. Stand your ground. He needs to know that you will not accept his behaviour,' I told myself.
'Here goes nothing.'
I pushed open the front door. "I'm home!"
I just wanted to let you all know that I have started a new story. You all have been amazingly supportive of my writing and I hope you will like this new story. It's not about any of our beloved Penguins, but it is about one of my other favourite hockey players and all around great guy John-Michael Liles. He's a defensemen for the Avalanche and completly underrated as a player and a hottie. I hope you take the time to check out the story and as always please, please, please let me know what you think. Here's the link:
http://loveinthemountains.blogspot.com
Against All Odds and Love Lost and Found will both have updates soon!
Cheers!
~B~
http://loveinthemountains.blogspot.com
Against All Odds and Love Lost and Found will both have updates soon!
Cheers!
~B~
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Chapter 107
"So tell me the truth, not what you think I want hear okay? Promise?"
"I promise."
"Do you think it was asking too much of him?" I asked Max after explaining what had happened only an hour before.
"You gotta know by now how hard it is for him to go anywhere in this town without causing a major ruckus..."
"Don't make excuses Max, I just want a yes or no answer. Am I asking too much for him to take ten minutes out of his life to make a kid's day?"
"Well, when you put it that way...no. But..."
"No buts."
"C'mon bijou it's not that simple."
"Yes it is. I'm not asking him to parade around the hospital and make a spectacle out of himself; and it's not like he doesn't sneak in there all the time to visit me for a few minutes, so what's the difference?" I asked exasperated as I threw myself against the back of the couch.
"I don't know," Max said quietly looking down at his hands. "I don't know. Maybe you just caught him at a bad time, I mean the season starts tomorrow and he's feeling major pressure, not to mention Troy's already on his ass. Give him a little bit to get back in the swing of the season and I'm sure he'll change his mind."
Max joined me against the back of the couch.
"I can't believe the season hasn't even started yet and..." I trailed off.
Max put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him.
"I know," he whispered kissing my forehead, "but you said you knew what you were getting into with this."
"I know," I groaned. "But I figured it would be tough to find time to be together and we wouldn't be able to go out in public, I never thought he'd deny me 10 minutes to make the day of a 16 year old kid. Isn't that what they praise him for in the media and all over the place? How much he gives back to kids?"
"I don't know what to say bijou."
"There is nothing to say Max. There is no excuse that will make it okay."
I cuddled into him and we sat in comfortable silence until I heard the soft, heavy breathing; not quite a snore, of my best friend. Then the guilt set in.
"Max, wake up."
"Hmmm?"
"Max I am sooooo sorry! It's late, I should have never asked you to come over here tonight. You have your first game tomorrow night and I just shouldn't have bothered you."
"Bijou, it's fine. I don't need a lot of sleep; I am a finely tuned athletic machine!"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked pretending to be hurt.
"Nothing," I managed between gasps for air. "Seriously though, I am sorry for dragging you out this late."
He pulled me into a hug and said, "Seriously, it's fine. After you being there for me through that whole...thing, it's the least I could do. You know I'm here for you bijou; no matter what."
"I know." Silence. "Max?"
"Yeah?" he yawned.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," he said sleepily. "Since I came all the way over here can I ask you a favour?"
"Anything."
"I am so wiped; is it okay if I just crash here tonight? I don't want to drive."
"Of course! You can take my bed, I'll stay out here."
"I am not putting you out of your own bed, I'll take the couch."
"Absolutely NOT! You have a game tomorrow and I am not going to have you all cramped up from sleeping on this lumpy thing. We're being ridiculous; we are two grown ups..."
"Well you are."
"There is no reason we can't sleep in the same bed."
"Hmmm? I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands to myself," he said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You're not funny," I said dryly, pulling him up from the couch. "You best be careful cause you know I can kick your ass!"
"Ooooh, you know I like my women feisty!"
"Take it easy superstar, you're keeping all your clothes on!"
"Superstar huh? Hmm, I like it! But I can not sleep with a shirt on, sorry."
We were laying in bed in the complete darkness. It was silent. I was waiting for the sound of Max's breathing to let me know he was asleep, but instead I felt him grab my hand.
"Tell me about Sam," he whispered.
"You need to sleep."
"Please, I want to know about him."
I told Max all about Sam and his crazy antics and finished by saying how much I adored him.
"He sounds hilarious; and like a great kid. And hey, he's got great taste if he's so enamoured with you."
"How could anyone not be?" I said sarcastically.
"I wish I knew," he said quietly.
He pulled me into his side and kissed my forehead. My hand naturally fell on his chest and I immediately thought 'Hairy...how...manly. Definitely not bare and boyish.'
"I don't know how you do what you do. All those sick kids; it's just not fair and I have no idea how you can go to work every day and be like a ray of sunshine to them and their families. I admire you so much bijou. You really are amazing."
I squeezed him letting him know I appreciated his sentiments.
"You're right, it's not fair that these kids have the burden of fighting for their lives before they actually begin living, but someone has to be there for them and be positive and supportive; that's my job."
"I just think...you are just...I just..love you."
I gave him another squeeze before telling him I loved him too and drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the spot in the bed beside me was cold and empty, but on the pillow there was a note.
Bijou,
I wanted to be out of the way before inquiring minds wanted to know. Thank you for allowing me to be there for you the way you've been there for me. I am honoured you trust me enough to share your life with. Don't worry your pretty little head about this, Sid loves you and I know he will see how important this is to you and he'll come through. He always does.
See you after the game tonight.
XOXO
Max
PS Don't for get to wish the superstar good luck!
The Pens won and both my guys had a goal. The mood in the locker room was upbeat except in one particular stall. The one with all the lights, cameras and microphones gathered in front of it. The mood coming from that stall was subdued and stoic. The tone was even and emotionless. By the time the last camera had vacated, all that was left was exhaustion.
Everyone had already left for whatever club they were celebrating their victory at. Max was nice enough to wait with me for Sidney to finish. When he finally came out of the locker room I met him with a hug and a warm smile.
"Great game tonight babe," I whispered in his ear as I kissed his cheek.
"Thanks."
"Everyone went to Diesel already, are you two in mon ami?" Max asked.
"Not tonight Max. I just want to go home."
"I guess I'll catch you guys later then," Max said with a questioning look on his face. I knew he was silently asking me if I'd be okay.
I nodded and said goodnight before slipping my hand into Sidney's. There was no real attempt to reciprocate. We just walked through the hallways deep within the arena.
"You hungry? We could go get something to eat?" I asked hopefully.
"Everywhere would be too busy after a game; probably not a good idea."
"Do you want to come over? I could make you something."
His phone rang before he had the chance to answer.
"Great," he mumbled. "That didn't take long."
He pushed ignore and shoved the phone back in his pocket. "Troy," he said simply.
"So? Do you want to come over? I can make you a late night breakfast?"
"I'm tired. I just want to go home, get my lickings from Troy and go to bed."
"Sure," I said flatly. We had reached the exit door.
"We should say goodnight here. The parking lot will be full of people waiting for autographs. Did you drive?" he added, almost as an after thought.
"Yes."
For the first time that night he tightened his grip around my hand.
"Thanks for coming tonight Beks. I'm glad you were here."
"Seems like it," I muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. I'll just say goodnight." I leaned in to give him a kiss and he gave me a kiss on the cheek; you know, the kind you give your grandmother or a friend of your friend's sister.
"You can go first," he said. "I'll wait a few minutes."
"Whatever," I replied and started to open the door.
"Beks?"
'Okay,' I thought, 'here it comes. Some sort of emotion. Maybe an I love you.'
"Yes Sidney?"
"Goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I promise."
"Do you think it was asking too much of him?" I asked Max after explaining what had happened only an hour before.
"You gotta know by now how hard it is for him to go anywhere in this town without causing a major ruckus..."
"Don't make excuses Max, I just want a yes or no answer. Am I asking too much for him to take ten minutes out of his life to make a kid's day?"
"Well, when you put it that way...no. But..."
"No buts."
"C'mon bijou it's not that simple."
"Yes it is. I'm not asking him to parade around the hospital and make a spectacle out of himself; and it's not like he doesn't sneak in there all the time to visit me for a few minutes, so what's the difference?" I asked exasperated as I threw myself against the back of the couch.
"I don't know," Max said quietly looking down at his hands. "I don't know. Maybe you just caught him at a bad time, I mean the season starts tomorrow and he's feeling major pressure, not to mention Troy's already on his ass. Give him a little bit to get back in the swing of the season and I'm sure he'll change his mind."
Max joined me against the back of the couch.
"I can't believe the season hasn't even started yet and..." I trailed off.
Max put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him.
"I know," he whispered kissing my forehead, "but you said you knew what you were getting into with this."
"I know," I groaned. "But I figured it would be tough to find time to be together and we wouldn't be able to go out in public, I never thought he'd deny me 10 minutes to make the day of a 16 year old kid. Isn't that what they praise him for in the media and all over the place? How much he gives back to kids?"
"I don't know what to say bijou."
"There is nothing to say Max. There is no excuse that will make it okay."
I cuddled into him and we sat in comfortable silence until I heard the soft, heavy breathing; not quite a snore, of my best friend. Then the guilt set in.
"Max, wake up."
"Hmmm?"
"Max I am sooooo sorry! It's late, I should have never asked you to come over here tonight. You have your first game tomorrow night and I just shouldn't have bothered you."
"Bijou, it's fine. I don't need a lot of sleep; I am a finely tuned athletic machine!"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked pretending to be hurt.
"Nothing," I managed between gasps for air. "Seriously though, I am sorry for dragging you out this late."
He pulled me into a hug and said, "Seriously, it's fine. After you being there for me through that whole...thing, it's the least I could do. You know I'm here for you bijou; no matter what."
"I know." Silence. "Max?"
"Yeah?" he yawned.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," he said sleepily. "Since I came all the way over here can I ask you a favour?"
"Anything."
"I am so wiped; is it okay if I just crash here tonight? I don't want to drive."
"Of course! You can take my bed, I'll stay out here."
"I am not putting you out of your own bed, I'll take the couch."
"Absolutely NOT! You have a game tomorrow and I am not going to have you all cramped up from sleeping on this lumpy thing. We're being ridiculous; we are two grown ups..."
"Well you are."
"There is no reason we can't sleep in the same bed."
"Hmmm? I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands to myself," he said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You're not funny," I said dryly, pulling him up from the couch. "You best be careful cause you know I can kick your ass!"
"Ooooh, you know I like my women feisty!"
"Take it easy superstar, you're keeping all your clothes on!"
"Superstar huh? Hmm, I like it! But I can not sleep with a shirt on, sorry."
We were laying in bed in the complete darkness. It was silent. I was waiting for the sound of Max's breathing to let me know he was asleep, but instead I felt him grab my hand.
"Tell me about Sam," he whispered.
"You need to sleep."
"Please, I want to know about him."
I told Max all about Sam and his crazy antics and finished by saying how much I adored him.
"He sounds hilarious; and like a great kid. And hey, he's got great taste if he's so enamoured with you."
"How could anyone not be?" I said sarcastically.
"I wish I knew," he said quietly.
He pulled me into his side and kissed my forehead. My hand naturally fell on his chest and I immediately thought 'Hairy...how...manly. Definitely not bare and boyish.'
"I don't know how you do what you do. All those sick kids; it's just not fair and I have no idea how you can go to work every day and be like a ray of sunshine to them and their families. I admire you so much bijou. You really are amazing."
I squeezed him letting him know I appreciated his sentiments.
"You're right, it's not fair that these kids have the burden of fighting for their lives before they actually begin living, but someone has to be there for them and be positive and supportive; that's my job."
"I just think...you are just...I just..love you."
I gave him another squeeze before telling him I loved him too and drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the spot in the bed beside me was cold and empty, but on the pillow there was a note.
Bijou,
I wanted to be out of the way before inquiring minds wanted to know. Thank you for allowing me to be there for you the way you've been there for me. I am honoured you trust me enough to share your life with. Don't worry your pretty little head about this, Sid loves you and I know he will see how important this is to you and he'll come through. He always does.
See you after the game tonight.
XOXO
Max
PS Don't for get to wish the superstar good luck!
The Pens won and both my guys had a goal. The mood in the locker room was upbeat except in one particular stall. The one with all the lights, cameras and microphones gathered in front of it. The mood coming from that stall was subdued and stoic. The tone was even and emotionless. By the time the last camera had vacated, all that was left was exhaustion.
Everyone had already left for whatever club they were celebrating their victory at. Max was nice enough to wait with me for Sidney to finish. When he finally came out of the locker room I met him with a hug and a warm smile.
"Great game tonight babe," I whispered in his ear as I kissed his cheek.
"Thanks."
"Everyone went to Diesel already, are you two in mon ami?" Max asked.
"Not tonight Max. I just want to go home."
"I guess I'll catch you guys later then," Max said with a questioning look on his face. I knew he was silently asking me if I'd be okay.
I nodded and said goodnight before slipping my hand into Sidney's. There was no real attempt to reciprocate. We just walked through the hallways deep within the arena.
"You hungry? We could go get something to eat?" I asked hopefully.
"Everywhere would be too busy after a game; probably not a good idea."
"Do you want to come over? I could make you something."
His phone rang before he had the chance to answer.
"Great," he mumbled. "That didn't take long."
He pushed ignore and shoved the phone back in his pocket. "Troy," he said simply.
"So? Do you want to come over? I can make you a late night breakfast?"
"I'm tired. I just want to go home, get my lickings from Troy and go to bed."
"Sure," I said flatly. We had reached the exit door.
"We should say goodnight here. The parking lot will be full of people waiting for autographs. Did you drive?" he added, almost as an after thought.
"Yes."
For the first time that night he tightened his grip around my hand.
"Thanks for coming tonight Beks. I'm glad you were here."
"Seems like it," I muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. I'll just say goodnight." I leaned in to give him a kiss and he gave me a kiss on the cheek; you know, the kind you give your grandmother or a friend of your friend's sister.
"You can go first," he said. "I'll wait a few minutes."
"Whatever," I replied and started to open the door.
"Beks?"
'Okay,' I thought, 'here it comes. Some sort of emotion. Maybe an I love you.'
"Yes Sidney?"
"Goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Chapter 106
Sorry this has taken so long but I've had little to inspire me lately. Enjoy!
I've decided...reality bites!
We've been back in the Burgh for a whopping three weeks and I have seen Sid for a total of 4 hours. He was bombarded with media and personal appearances; three times as many as last season and training camp was kicking the shit out of him.
I was just as swamped at the hospital. While I was living a fantasy for the entire month of August, families from across the states were living a nightmare; one I was all too familiar with.
I have a confession to make. I have fallen madly in love with someone else.
His name was Sam Bradley and he was charming and witty; strong and bold; evil and innocent. He laughed at all my lame jokes and made my entire body ache from laughing at his. He listened attentively when I endlessly rambled and knew exactly what to say and when to say it; more importantly, he knew when to say nothing at all. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of emerald I had ever seen and when he batted those thick dark lashes at you...instant swoon. His hair was the colour of pure dark chocolate and was just long enough to form perfect ringlets at the nape of his neck. Too bad in a few short weeks they would start falling out.
Sam was my newest patient; he was a six foot, high school quarter back from Savannah, Georgia; the perfect southern gentleman. And the accent didn't hurt either!
"So how come I had to come to this god forsaken hell hole of a city to find a Georgia peach?" he asked me one day while I was drawing his blood.
"Easy Romeo, I'm spoken for."
"Well I don't see no ring. No ring means free game."
"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Who do you think you're playing with little boy?"
He broke out out into the most infectious laughter I had ever heard.
"Come on, you are like so hot; smokin' hot! You can't blame a guy for trying."
"You are relentless Sammy. It's a good thing you're cute," I chuckled.
He leapt out of bed screaming "Touchdown!" and doing that goofy end zone dance thing.
"She loves me, ooh yeah, I'm the man, ooh yeah!"
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.
"Sammy get your butt back in this bed right now before you pull all your lines out," I said trying to be stern.
He winced in pain trying to get back in bed.
"See, you can't do that crazy shit anymore. You have to be more careful."
"I am a finely tuned athletic machine. I have played with a sprained ankle; I've played with a torn calf muscle and 3 cracked ribs. Cancer is not going to kick my ass!"
"Oh my sweet boy, I love and admire your fighting spirit," I said while pulling his blankets up over him.
"Don't! Not you. I can't handle that pitiful I feel sorry for you look. Not from you."
I ran my fingers through his luscious curls. "I promise I will never look at you like anything but a star struck fan," I whispered in his ear.
"That's why I love you nurse Jones."
"Ugh, please don't call me that. It's so...formal. Bekah will do just fine."
"So, Bekah...how's your football team? Steelers any good?"
"I have no idea, I'm a Cowboys fan."
"They haven't been the same since Aikman retired," we both said in unison, then laughed hysterically.
"If you tell me you like Nascar and hockey I will declare my undying love for you right now."
"I adored Dale Earnhardt may he rest in peace and love Tony Stewart. Hockey is kind of a passion of mine. I am a Pens girl all the way."
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! God has created the perfect woman! Marry me Bekah Jones!"
"Stop screwing around and let me do my job please."
He settled down a little and let me continue what I needed to do.
"So the Pens huh? I will never admit that I said this cause I'd get the shit kicked out of me but I am a big fan of Crosby's. That guy is amazing."
"I'm a fan too and don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Ever go to any games?"
"I have season tickets."
"Are you freakin' serious?"
"Hey mister, watch your mouth."
"Sorry. Have you ever met any of them, the Pens I mean?"
"One or two."
"Who?"
"I've met Mario before and Max Talbot."
"Talbot, that guy's an animal. He cracks me up."
"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. "Now enough with the questions. You need to rest. I'll be back in a bit to check on you okay? Do you need anything before I go?"
"You could kiss me goodbye?"
"Relentless," I said giving a kiss on top of his head.
"Hey, think I'll get to meet any of the Pens?"
I smiled at him. "You never know when you'll see a penguin waddling by."
Max was spending every free minute he had with us. I knew he was trying to fill up his time because he was still hurting, and as much as I loved having him there to listen to me bitch about my day, I wished it was Sid.
It was the night before the start of the regular season. The Pens started out at home and Sid managed to find a few hours to squeeze me in. Snuggled up on the couch trying to watch a movie, it was the time I had been so desperately craving.
"You remember me telling you about that patient of mine Sam?" I asked him.
"Sam? Doesn't ring a bell."
"The football kid from Georgia who is secretly a hockey fan?"
"Sorry babe."
"Well, he's 16 and just the most amazing kid you'll ever meet. He's already being scouted by every major college in the country and he's a real sweetheart. Anyways, we were talking about Pittsburgh's sports teams and he happened to mention he was a big Pens fan and a big fan of yours, so I was hoping... maybe...you'd have few minutes to stop by and meet him, maybe spend a few minutes with him?"
"You know all that stuff goes through the public relations department. You could check with Gina, see when and if I'm available."
"Are you kidding? I'm talking about ten minutes here; just pop in and say hi, shoot the shit for a few minutes and make the kid's day."
"I can't promise anything. You know better than anyone how jammed my schedule is and now that the season is starting, it's going to get worse. I'd be happy to do it Beks, but it will have to go through the department. I can't just show up at a hospital."
"Yes you can, you've popped in just to say hi or have a cup of coffee with me?"
"That's different. I'm hidden when I do that."
"Forget about it, just pretend I didn't ask," I said putting my head back down in his lap.
"Now you're mad."
"I'm not mad; just...disappointed."
"I'm sorry, I just can't make that kind of promise right now."
"I said forget about it okay. It's late and I'm beat; I'm sure you need to get home to bed too. Why don't we call it a night?"
He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not leaving if you're mad at me."
"I told you I'm not mad."
"Yes you are."
"Sid, I am not going to argue about this, just get going okay? I'll see you tomorrow night after the game."
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you," he stressed before opening the door.
"I love you too. Good luck tomorrow night."
When he was gone I plunked myself down on the couch.
'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just the beginning.'
Even though I knew it was going to be this way, it still made me angry. It was one thing to not have the time to spend with me, but I was only asking him for a lousy ten minutes to make the day of a kid who probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday and that burned my ass!
Without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and dialed.
the voice on the other end was gruff and a little groggy.
"Can you come over?" I asked.
"Be there in ten."
"Thanks Maxie."
I've decided...reality bites!
We've been back in the Burgh for a whopping three weeks and I have seen Sid for a total of 4 hours. He was bombarded with media and personal appearances; three times as many as last season and training camp was kicking the shit out of him.
I was just as swamped at the hospital. While I was living a fantasy for the entire month of August, families from across the states were living a nightmare; one I was all too familiar with.
I have a confession to make. I have fallen madly in love with someone else.
His name was Sam Bradley and he was charming and witty; strong and bold; evil and innocent. He laughed at all my lame jokes and made my entire body ache from laughing at his. He listened attentively when I endlessly rambled and knew exactly what to say and when to say it; more importantly, he knew when to say nothing at all. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of emerald I had ever seen and when he batted those thick dark lashes at you...instant swoon. His hair was the colour of pure dark chocolate and was just long enough to form perfect ringlets at the nape of his neck. Too bad in a few short weeks they would start falling out.
Sam was my newest patient; he was a six foot, high school quarter back from Savannah, Georgia; the perfect southern gentleman. And the accent didn't hurt either!
"So how come I had to come to this god forsaken hell hole of a city to find a Georgia peach?" he asked me one day while I was drawing his blood.
"Easy Romeo, I'm spoken for."
"Well I don't see no ring. No ring means free game."
"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Who do you think you're playing with little boy?"
He broke out out into the most infectious laughter I had ever heard.
"Come on, you are like so hot; smokin' hot! You can't blame a guy for trying."
"You are relentless Sammy. It's a good thing you're cute," I chuckled.
He leapt out of bed screaming "Touchdown!" and doing that goofy end zone dance thing.
"She loves me, ooh yeah, I'm the man, ooh yeah!"
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.
"Sammy get your butt back in this bed right now before you pull all your lines out," I said trying to be stern.
He winced in pain trying to get back in bed.
"See, you can't do that crazy shit anymore. You have to be more careful."
"I am a finely tuned athletic machine. I have played with a sprained ankle; I've played with a torn calf muscle and 3 cracked ribs. Cancer is not going to kick my ass!"
"Oh my sweet boy, I love and admire your fighting spirit," I said while pulling his blankets up over him.
"Don't! Not you. I can't handle that pitiful I feel sorry for you look. Not from you."
I ran my fingers through his luscious curls. "I promise I will never look at you like anything but a star struck fan," I whispered in his ear.
"That's why I love you nurse Jones."
"Ugh, please don't call me that. It's so...formal. Bekah will do just fine."
"So, Bekah...how's your football team? Steelers any good?"
"I have no idea, I'm a Cowboys fan."
"They haven't been the same since Aikman retired," we both said in unison, then laughed hysterically.
"If you tell me you like Nascar and hockey I will declare my undying love for you right now."
"I adored Dale Earnhardt may he rest in peace and love Tony Stewart. Hockey is kind of a passion of mine. I am a Pens girl all the way."
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! God has created the perfect woman! Marry me Bekah Jones!"
"Stop screwing around and let me do my job please."
He settled down a little and let me continue what I needed to do.
"So the Pens huh? I will never admit that I said this cause I'd get the shit kicked out of me but I am a big fan of Crosby's. That guy is amazing."
"I'm a fan too and don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Ever go to any games?"
"I have season tickets."
"Are you freakin' serious?"
"Hey mister, watch your mouth."
"Sorry. Have you ever met any of them, the Pens I mean?"
"One or two."
"Who?"
"I've met Mario before and Max Talbot."
"Talbot, that guy's an animal. He cracks me up."
"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. "Now enough with the questions. You need to rest. I'll be back in a bit to check on you okay? Do you need anything before I go?"
"You could kiss me goodbye?"
"Relentless," I said giving a kiss on top of his head.
"Hey, think I'll get to meet any of the Pens?"
I smiled at him. "You never know when you'll see a penguin waddling by."
Max was spending every free minute he had with us. I knew he was trying to fill up his time because he was still hurting, and as much as I loved having him there to listen to me bitch about my day, I wished it was Sid.
It was the night before the start of the regular season. The Pens started out at home and Sid managed to find a few hours to squeeze me in. Snuggled up on the couch trying to watch a movie, it was the time I had been so desperately craving.
"You remember me telling you about that patient of mine Sam?" I asked him.
"Sam? Doesn't ring a bell."
"The football kid from Georgia who is secretly a hockey fan?"
"Sorry babe."
"Well, he's 16 and just the most amazing kid you'll ever meet. He's already being scouted by every major college in the country and he's a real sweetheart. Anyways, we were talking about Pittsburgh's sports teams and he happened to mention he was a big Pens fan and a big fan of yours, so I was hoping... maybe...you'd have few minutes to stop by and meet him, maybe spend a few minutes with him?"
"You know all that stuff goes through the public relations department. You could check with Gina, see when and if I'm available."
"Are you kidding? I'm talking about ten minutes here; just pop in and say hi, shoot the shit for a few minutes and make the kid's day."
"I can't promise anything. You know better than anyone how jammed my schedule is and now that the season is starting, it's going to get worse. I'd be happy to do it Beks, but it will have to go through the department. I can't just show up at a hospital."
"Yes you can, you've popped in just to say hi or have a cup of coffee with me?"
"That's different. I'm hidden when I do that."
"Forget about it, just pretend I didn't ask," I said putting my head back down in his lap.
"Now you're mad."
"I'm not mad; just...disappointed."
"I'm sorry, I just can't make that kind of promise right now."
"I said forget about it okay. It's late and I'm beat; I'm sure you need to get home to bed too. Why don't we call it a night?"
He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not leaving if you're mad at me."
"I told you I'm not mad."
"Yes you are."
"Sid, I am not going to argue about this, just get going okay? I'll see you tomorrow night after the game."
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you," he stressed before opening the door.
"I love you too. Good luck tomorrow night."
When he was gone I plunked myself down on the couch.
'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just the beginning.'
Even though I knew it was going to be this way, it still made me angry. It was one thing to not have the time to spend with me, but I was only asking him for a lousy ten minutes to make the day of a kid who probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday and that burned my ass!
Without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and dialed.
the voice on the other end was gruff and a little groggy.
"Can you come over?" I asked.
"Be there in ten."
"Thanks Maxie."
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