So here's the deal...
Given the recent drama surrounding me and my blogs, and other HUGE commitments that I have on my plate for the next little while, I have decided to take a hiatus from writing them. Before you get too excited, this is NOT the end of either story. A good friend and co-worker has agreed to continue writing them. I know it's not going to be the same, but I am 100% sure she will be able to do them justice; she gets the premise of both stories and I am confident you will like her ideas and twists she has in store!
I thought when I joined this blog community and started writing these fictional stories, that it was a great creative outlet and one that could involve the sport I love and people that I admire; and hey, if people read them and liked them, great! If they didn't like them, I assumed they wouldn't read them (not that the person in question ever actually read the stories, so she claims). Never in a million years did I think it would be something that would cause someone so much grief that they felt the need to personally attack me or my integrity.
I just want to say this and then this issue is dead and gone for me:
I am not giving up this writing because of the comments and views that one person has on these stories. As she stands firm by her position, I am standing firm by mine: these are fictional stories, made up as a creative outlet. I know her biggest issue seemed to be not only my age (which she doesn't actually know, but for the record is 29) and the fact that I am a mother of teenagers (who for the record are barely teenagers)writing a sexual story about teenagers which must mean that I actually lust after teenage boys. Again, these stories are fiction and in no way means that I am sexually attracted to young boys. Like any other warm-blooded woman, I can certainly appreciate a fine male specimen regardless of their age, and yes, Kris and Sidney do fall into that category: both are attractive men who for obvious reasons take very good care of themselves (and last time I checked 18 and 19 year olds were legal adults). That however is a moot point and one I'm sure my foe won't agree with.
I don't see what the difference is between these fan fics and any other fictional story. Jackie Collins for example, writes many sexual stories about younger men and older women based on real life people, and she's a best selling author. Maybe the difference is she changes the names? I wonder if I were writing a murder mystery if one would think I actually wanted to kill people? Maybe only if I used their real names.
I get how some could be offended by the premise of these stories, I really do, but again I stress, FICTION people! I get the title characters are real people, but that doesn't mean that the writers of any fan fic want their stories to be true. I am quite capable of separating fact from fiction and reality and fantasy.
In closing I want to make one thing very clear: I DO NOT WORK FOR A SCHOOL BOARD, IN A SCHOOL OR WITH TEENAGE BOYS. There is nothing about my stories that would warrant any sort fo reprimand from my employer (who by the way does know about and read my stories as do my other co-workers). They all know that the content of the stories in no way reflects personal fantasies or that I would fantasize about being the female main characters is them. They view them as what they are intended to be: a fun, made up story that allows for the reader (and writer) to escape the drones of everyday life by reading them, even if it is for only mere moments.

Having said my final piece, thank you kj for having your opinions and feeling confident in expressing them, even though you clearly took some flack for them. I'm sorry you were so offended. I hope this is behind us and you will no longer read or comment on the stories. Best of luck to you.

For those of you who enjoy reading my stories, please keep reading. My girl Ainsley will not disappoint (I hope!).
Thanks
~B~

Chapter 97

"I can't believe the season is over already. Are you sure you have to leave already?" I asked trying to put on my best pouty face and batting my eyelashes.
"Come on babe, don't give me that face," he said wrapping his arms around me. "Ive already stayed two weeks longer than I intended to and my mom is freaking out."

And what a wonderful two weeks it was. No practices, no games, no interviews, no photo shoot, no schedule. Just me, Sidney and the boys. Quiet, relaxing, private. It was heaven.

"I don't know why you just don't take some vacation time and come with me."
"We've been through this Sid. Me, you and the boys all staying in your parent's house? Cozy. I know Troy and I have reached an understanding, but I don't want to push my luck."
"So are you saying that if I had my own place you'd come with me?"
"I'm saying, if you had your own place I would have considered it more."

Sid looked at his watch. "I have to go. My flight leaves soon."
"Fine, but just think about what you're leaving behind here."
"And what's that?"
"This," I said and reached up to touch my lips to his. Gentle at first; then after a few flicks of my tongue on his bottom lip, the kiss deepened. So much so that neither of us were aware that the boys had entered the room.

"Oh gross!" Jake exclaimed as he ran by to go to the kitchen.
"Like, do you have to do that when we're around?" Alex asked following his brother.
"Well you weren't around until 10 seconds ago," I replied.
"Okay, I have to get going," Sid reminded me.
"Boys, come say goodbye to Sidney, he's leaving to go back home for the summer," I said.
"That sucks," Jake said coming over and giving Sid a hug.
"We were just getting used to you being around," Alex said as he gave Sid some high five hand shake thing, before hesitating then giving Sid a half hug, half body bump guy hug.
"I know bud, but hockey season is over and I have to go home and see my family. But don't worry, I'm trying to convince your mom to come up and visit this summer."
"Yeah let's go visit Sid!" they shouted in unison.
"Thanks a lot," I growled at him. "Boys, say goodbye and go play please."
"See ya Sid," Jake said cheerily before disappearing.
"Yeah, see ya later," Alex said without the same cheerful tone.
"I'll be back before you know it, and I'll call every day okay?"
"Yeah, okay," and he left the room.

Sid had this look on his face that I couldn't quite place.
"You okay hun?"
"Yeah. I just feel like I'm letting them down ya know? I don't ever want to let them down. Or you for that matter," he said hugging me tightly.
"I know baby. They're kids, they'll get over it. By tomorrow, they'll be back to themselves."
"And you? You're not going to go falling for someone else while I'm away are you?"
"Well, I can't make any promises..."
"Ha ha ha, you're sooooo funny!" he said kissing the tip of my nose.
"If anyone should be worried here, I think it's me. What about all those girls back home who had crushes on you before you became Mr. NHL? The girls up there are going to be throwing themselves at you and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
"Except come up to visit so you can protect me from the big, bad girls who are going to prey on poor little old me."
"You are such an ass. Go get on your plane and fly away."

One more long, lingering kiss and he was out the door.
"I love you Rebekah Jones," he yelled before getting in his car.
"I love you the most," I replied blowing him one last kiss.





"Hello?"
"Ah mon petit bijou, how are you beautiful?"
"I'm good Maxie, how are you?"
"Missing you like crazy, do you miss me?"
"Of course I miss you Max. How is it back home?"
"It's good, great to see the fam and friends."
"And staying out of trouble I hope?"
"Bijou, whatever do you mean?"
"Very funny. How many times a week are you and those boys going out drinking?"
"One, two, seven, who can keep track?"
"And you're keeping your pecker in your pants I presume?"
"What a dirty mouth you have...I like it, it's making me hot!"
"Well, I'm sure you can find some trashy piece of ass to screw to tide you over for now."
"Are you implying that I should cheat on my girlfriend?"
"So she's still your girlfriend huh?"
"Yes."
"Then no, I would never imply that you should cheat on your girlfriend. Nor would I imply that you should have some fun while you're home and maybe find a nice french girl, ya know, one you could take home to your mother."
"Bekah...."
"I'm just saying."
"What's gotten into you, why are you so crabby? Are you riding the crimson wave baby?"
"Max, not only is that disgusting, but it's insulting."
"Sorry, but seriously what's wrong?"
"I don't know. I've been swamped at work, Dylan seems to be getting worse, not better, there's a new nurse that I despise and on a good day only want to lock her in the supply closet and not throw her off the roof, I haven't spent any time with Lily in I can't remember how long, and the boys are being little jerks lately. That good enough for you?"
"And?"
"And what? Isn't that enough?"
"And you miss him."
"Yes, and I miss him desperately. It's been almost two months and it sucks, I hate this!"
"Well, that's why I'm calling. I want you to come and be my birthday present to the kid."
"What are you talking about Max?"
"I'm talking about, taking time off from work, which I've already arranged with your boss, packing up a couple of bags, and hopping on a plane with the boys to come and see me here in Montreal, so you can meet my mama, then were are all going to Nova Scotia to celebrate Sid's birthday. You will be my gift to him."
"Max, I can't..."
"Ah ah ah, yes you can. I have arranged everything. All you need to do is follow the instructions that are coming with your plane tickets. No arguments, no excuses."
"Okay," I whispered. "When do we leave?"

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let y'all know that I started another story. It's called Love Lost and Found and it's a Kris Letang story (Surprise!) I just posted the first chapter and I hope you all check it out and let me know what you think.
For those of you who are Against All Odds fans, don't worry! This story is still my baby and updates are coming soon!

I want to thank you all again for sticking with me. Your support and comments mean so much to me and my writing process.
Happy reading!
~B~

http://krazyforkristopher.blogspot.com

Not an update yet but....

Max stretching out.




















































































































The object of my affection!




























Sid was the last one off the ice after warm ups.

Kristopher in the box!

Looks lonely! I could keep him company:)

Mmm Mmm Mmm

Jordy (when he was still pretty!)

Doing a little plotting before the face off.

We've all seen the pictures with the tongue hanging out that drive us wild, but there is nothing like seeing it in person. I just about fainted!

Billy G. willing Sid to win the face off (which he did!)

I have to say, he is waaaaaaay sexier in person.

Geno!

Mmm Mmm Max!

Although I find Flower adorable, he is totally off limits in the fantasy department for me because of his sickeningly sweet realtionship with Vero. That being said, any man that can do this, sure makes my temperature rise!

Nothing needs to be said here.

Preparing to be the hero and score the winning goal in the shoot out.

I've never wanted to be a water bottle so bad in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could relax with him any time! (Don't mind the BAD 80's blond bangs...several of the guys were laughing at them throughout the game, most likely because they are all too young to remember those do's. Wish I could say the same!)

The victory clebrations right in front of us!

So, as if you couldn't tell by now, this is not an update (that's coming soon I promise!) but I thought you might enjoy a little Christmas cheer (or eye candy)! These are obviously from the game in Buffalo last Saturday. Sorry there are so few pictures of our main man Sid, however the object of my affections (#58) was totally preoccupying me with his hotness. I'm going to the game on the 29th and will try to pry my eyes off Kristopher long enough to take some shots of our captain.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

Cheers!

Chapter 96

This is not the direction I was going to go with this chapter, but when I started writing it just kind of poured out of me. Sorry it's a long one but I hope y'all like it!



"Maybe we should wait until after the summer," I slipped out casually when Sidney was refilling my coffee mug.
"I knew you'd chicken out," he said calmly replacing the pot in its stand. "Let me guess...you were up half the night thinking about this and now you don't want to tell the boys about us?"
"Don't be mad; just hear me out okay?"
"I'm listening."
"We've already waited this long; I'm just afraid that if we tell them now, they won't understand why you have to leave for so long. If we wait until you come back, then we can tell them and start out fresh at the beginning of the season and they have the whole eight months to get used to the new dynamic. This is a huge step for them too. To tell them we're together then have you leave...I just think that's too much for them to process in a short time."

He was eerily quiet for a minute before he let out a long sigh.

"If you want to wait we'll wait," he said quietly. "I'm going to go have a shower."

He got up from the counter and kissed me on top of the head before heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.


I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. All I could see was the look on Sid's face. It wasn't really anger; it wasn't really hurt. It was almost like there was no emotion there at all.


'What's wrong with you?' I asked myself. 'You are going to blow it if you keep it up. How much shit do you think he's going to put up with from you? Why can't you just let yourself be happy? He's everything you ever said you wanted so what's the problem? You know what the problem is stupid. You have to get over it Bekah, Sidney is not him. You left so you could have a good life; so you could give the boys a good life, but as long as you let him hold you back you'll never be free. And he wins.


I heard the water turn off and made my way back to the bedroom. Sid came in a few minutes later in nothing but black boxer briefs, droplets of water still glistening off his perfectly sculpted chest, and a towel that he was using to dry his chestnut curls.


"Bekah, you scared me," he said when the towel was no longer covering his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he kind of chuckled. "What's up?"
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you already said that."
"No I'm sorry," I said once more while reaching for his hands. He obliged and let me pull him towards me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his stomach.
"I'm sorry, Sidney. I'm so sorry. I love you."
"I love you too Beks," he replied tentatively. "What's going on?"


I pulled away and made him sit down beside me on the bed so I could look in his eyes.

"Beks, you're scaring me a bit...what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I smiled. "That's just it Sidney, for the first time in my life, nothing is wrong."
Sidney looked at me with slight confusion on his face.
"Isn't that a good thing?" he questioned.
"It is a good thing; it's a very good thing," I said squeezing his hand. "But you and I both know how well I deal with good things."

Sidney smiled warmly and pulled my head to his until our foreheads were resting on one another.
"I know he hurt you Bekah, but you can't let him keep hurting you."
"I know," I whispered lifting my head so I could see his golden eyes. "And I have to stop hurting you."
"Hurting me?"
"Yes. This whole relationship has been about me...what I want, what I need, what's best for my kids and you've done it all; every single thing I've asked of you, you've done and you've never complained. But I have never considered how you felt through this whole thing. It wasn't until I saw the look on your face just now that it really hit me. I've been taking you for granted and I've hurt you and I'm sorry. I don't ever want to hurt you again."
"You're being silly Bekah," he said pulling me into a hug.
"We're telling the boys about us as soon as they get home."




"Mom, we're home," Alex called bursting through the door with Jake in tow.
"I'm in the kitchen," I called back.
"Mom, you'll never guess...oh, hey Sid."
"Hey Alex."
"Yay, Sid's here!" Jake exclaimed coming into the kitchen.
"Guys, can you sit down for a minute, Sid and I want to talk to you," I said.
"Whatever it is I didn't do it," Alex said.
"Me neither," was Jake's reply.
"You guys aren't in trouble for anything, Sid and I just want to tell you something."
Three sets of chocolate eyes were all looking at me with anticipation. I took a deep breath before speaking.
'Here we go. No turning back.' I thought to myself.
"Okay, so both of you know that Sid and I are friends and we've been spending a lot of time together, hanging out and getting to know each other. Well, while we've been getting to know each other we've discovered that we really like each other."
"Like more than friends?" Alex asked.
Sid and I looked at each other and he said "Yeah bud, like more than friends."
"So are you my mom's boyfriend?" Jake asked.
"Well, that's kind of up to you guys."
I gave him a questioning look, but didn't interrupt.
"I really like your Mom," Sid continued, "and I want to be her boyfriend, but I want to know if that's okay with you guys."
Jake and Alex looked at each other.
"My mom's never had a boyfriend before," Alex started, "so...we don't really know what it means for us."
"What do you mean honey?" I asked.
"Well, like what's going to be different?"
"Nothing really. Sid might be here a little more but other than that..."
"Is Sid going to tell us what to do now?" Jake asked.
"This is new for all of us," I began. "I haven't had a man in my life for a long time..."
"Yeah, and I don't have kids of my own," Sid added.
"And we don't know what it's like to have a Dad," Jake piped up.
"I can't even remember him anymore," Alex said quietly.
My heart broke at that moment and I could feel my eyes starting to tear up.
"I know it's hard for you guys to understand because you were so young, but your dad...your dad was just not a very nice man. He loved you both very much, but sometimes grown ups just can't get along and they hurt each other."
"Like beating each other up?" Jake asked.
I was not prepared to have this conversation. I was a planner and I had never planned what I would tell them if the subject of their father ever came up. Do I tell them the truth or do I protect their innocence.
"There are lots of different ways to hurt people sweet pea. Sometimes people hit to hurt and sometimes they just use words to hurt your feelings. It doesn't matter if you hit or if you use mean words, it is never okay to hurt someone on purpose. Your daddy and I just couldn't stop hurting each other and that was not a safe way for us to live, that's why we had to leave. I needed to keep you safe and I couldn't do that living with your daddy."
"So where is he now?"
"I don't really know honey, we're not allowed to see him anymore."
"Why not?"
It didn't surprise me that Jake was so curious, he was too young to remember anything and we never really talked about it. Alex listened quietly.
"Sometimes if you hurt someone, you're not allowed to be around them anymore so you don't hurt them again."
"Like at school when Josh and Joey kept fighting and now they're not allowed to play together anymore?"
"Yes, like that."
"So now that Sid's your boyfriend is he going to sleep with you?"
"Excuse me?" I practically spit out my mouthful of coffee. "What do you mean?"
"You know. Are you guys going to sleep in the same bed like other mommies and daddies?"
"Well, what would you think about that?" I asked.
"I think it would be cool. Sid can wear his pj's and watch movies in bed with us on Sundays."
"Well, that might happen in the future, but it's not going to happen right away. All of us are going to have a lot of different things to get used to and it's not always going to be easy. We will make each other angry, but it's how we deal with it that is important."
"Yeah, like if I do something that makes you guys mad, I want you to be able to tell me, don't hold it all inside. If you tell me, then we can talk about it and I'll know not to do it again," Sid said.
"So are you going to yell at us when we do bad things? And are you going to be able to ground us?" Jake asked Sidney.
"No, I will not yell at you, and it's totally up to your mom whether or not you get grounded."
"Sid is just like any other adult in your life; like Lily or the Parkers. You listen when they ask you to do something and you treat them with respect - no back talk. Do you have any other questions you want to ask?"

Jake seemed satisfied and went to watch a movie.

"You've been pretty quiet Alex, do you have anything you want to ask?"
He looked back and forth between me and Sid before shaking his head no. Sid and I exchanged knowing looks and I excused myself to go check on Jake. Neither Alex nor Sid moved from the table.
"Is something bothering you Alex?" Sid asked.
"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"
"Yes, if I can."
"I mean the real truth, not the kid truth that my mom tells us sometimes."
"Sure."
"Promise?"
"I promise. If I know the truth I will tell you."
"Do you know what really happened with my mom and dad?"

Sid didn't answer right away. He knew how Bekah felt about telling the boys about their father, but he couldn't lie to those big brown inquiring eyes that were staring up at him; he promised.

"Yes I do."
Alex looked down at his hands and barely spoke above a whisper.
"My dad hit her didn't he?"
Sid was a little surprised by Alex's question.
"Why would you ask that?"
"I've heard things."
"Like what kind of things?"
"Ive heard mom talking to Lily sometimes when they thought I was asleep. And that whole thing about grown ups hurting each other...I'm twelve, I'm not a baby I can figure it out. So, did he hit her or not?"
"Yes. Your dad used to hit your mom."
Alex just shook his head. "I knew it. How could you do that to someone you're supposed to love?"
"I don't know bud, I don't know."
"Why didn't she ever tell us the truth?"
"Well, you guys are pretty young to have that kind of thing be part of your life. She loves you and she tries to protect you from bad things. She didn't want you to think badly of your father; ruin any good memories you might have."
"I don't have any memories anymore and I don't really want to remember someone who would hurt my mom."
"I understand that."

Sidney and Alex sat silently at the kitchen table. They didn't need to say anything; they had formed a bond that day that went beyond words.

"Sid?"
"Yeah bud?"
"Do you love my mom?"
Sid smiled. "Yes I do."
Alex smiled for the first time since he sat down at the table that morning.
"Then don't hurt her okay."
"I will never hurt your mom Alex; I promise."

Chapter 95

"What a night," Sid sighed as he sat back on the couch and closed his eyes.
"You don't have to say that twice," I said joining him. I loved the way I fit perfectly against his body. "I need some aspirin, my head is pounding."
"Oh, poor baby. I'll get you some."
"Sid, you don't have to get me aspirin in my own house."
"Are you kidding? That's what I'm here for princess, to serve your every need." A sly smile appeared across those gorgeous lips.

It was strange to watch him move through my house so naturally and fluidly. Considering how little time he actually spent here, watching him you'd think he had lived here for years. But that's the way things were with us: natural, fluid, familiar. We were still getting to know each other, but it was like we'd known each other forever; we often could finish each others' sentences.
Sid returned with the aspirin and a glass of water. "Here, take these," he commanded.
"Thank you," I said kissing him gently on the lips. I was about to pull away when I felt his hand snake around my neck and up through my hair, keeping my lips pressed to his. Gently and with great precision he parted my lips and deepened the kiss. Every fibre of my being felt like it was on fire. As the kissing intensified, I became more tense. I wanted him, there was no denying it, but the thought of being intimate with Sidney terrified me. Sid sensed the tension and slowly pulled away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's just so hard sometimes. I don't think you realize the effect you have on me."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I have an idea," trying to put the throbbing between my legs out of my mind. "It's not easy for me either."
"Come here."
"I'm right here."
"Lay down," he instructed patting the pillow he placed on his lap.
I laid down with my head in his lap.
"Now close your eyes."
I looked at him questioningly.
"Close them."
"Yes sir."
I closed my eyes and he began to massage my temples.
"Mmmm."
"Feel good princess?"
"Your hands are amazing, please don't stop."
He massaged for what seemed like forever. "Is that better?"
"Much, thank you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"She was horrible. All the questions she asked, all the snide comments she made...ugh. I don't want to think about her anymore."
"Well, look at it this way; it may have been torture for you, but Max is on cloud nine and that's why you did this right?"
"Right. I can't remember seeing Max smile so much. I'm glad he's happy."
"Even though its with the...what do you call her? The bimbo?"

I chuckled. It was kind of funny to hear him call her that. "I just want him to be happy. Yes I would prefer it wasn't with a snotty bitch who wants to sleep with my boyfriend, but sooner or later she's gonna shoot herself in the foot."
"And you'll be there to pick up the pieces. Max is lucky to have you Beks, you're an amazing friend."
"Thank you."
"And an even more amazing girlfriend," he said leaning in to kiss me once again. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," I said before touching my lips to his.
It wasn't long before I was lost; lost in his lips, lost in his arms, lost in my own thoughts. I wasn't sure how it happened, but i found myself on his lap, struggling to straddle his massive thighs. My hands were tangled in his now lengthy curls. His hands were like ice as they slid ever so slowly up my back beneath my shirt, but I was barely phased. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wasn't sure what it was. I could feel all the apprehension from before slowly melting away with every inch of skin that he touched; my fears being replaced by the raw passion I could barely contain.
"Sidney," I said breathlessly.
"Mmmhmm,"
"The boys are at a sleep over," I said between kisses. "They won't be home until noon tomorrow."
Sid came to a dead stop and his gorgeous golden eyes were staring intently into mine.
"What does that mean?" he asked cautiously.
I smiled and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"Stay with me tonight."

Not another word was spoken. He took me by the hand and led me to the bedroom.


*******************************************************************


"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this."
"Oh thank God, me either," I said trying to catch my breath after what amounted to a steamy make out session.
We both rolled away from each other and on to our backs. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both broke out into hysterics.
"We're horrible," he said trying to catch his breath.
"Pathetic really," I added.
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. He knew by the look on my face that fun time was over.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Do you think we're ever going to seal the deal?"
"Come here," he said pulling into his body; right to the spot I fit so perfectly. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.
"Beks, when the time is right, it will happen and it will be..." he trailed off.
"It will be what?"
"Magic."
"But what if it doesn't happen?"
"It will."
"What if it takes like two years?"
"Then I guess my hand will hurt," he said trying to lighten the mood.
"To much information dear. Seriously Sid. Are you telling me that you're still going to be around in two years if you're not getting any?"
"You see to be forgetting that it's not just you Beks, it's me too. Maybe I won't be ready for five years. Are you going to stick it out?"
I just gave him a look of disbelief.
"What? It could happen," he said. "You need to stop thinking this way and just chill out. We have a great relationship; just take things as they come."
"You're right," I sighed. "I think too much."
"Yeah you do. But that's one of the reasons I love you so much. What brought all this on anyway?"
"Ugh, do you really have to ask?"
"What, she brought up our sex life?"
"No, she just has that weaselly way of planting that seed of doubt. I hate that I let her get to me."
"Well don't. I am not going anywhere."
"That's not exactly true is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just another wonderful point She brought up."
"That is...?"
"There's only two weeks left in the season."
"And?"
"And, where are you going when it's over?"
"Home. Ohhhhhhhh."
The light bulb went off.
"And where does that leave us? Week long road trips are brutal enough. How are we going to survive five months apart?"
"The same way we are surviving separations now, but I was kinda hoping that you'd be coming up and spending some time with me and get to know regular Sid, not hockey Sid."
"Sid, you know that's not possible. I can't just take months off of work. And where would I stay? At your parent's house with you? That would go over well. And nobody is supposed to know about us, how would you explain that? Someone would surely find out. Cole Harbour is a small town. And what about the kids? They don't know about us. How would I explain a vacation to visit you?"
"Well I was kind of thinking we could change that."
"Change what?"
"We have to hide our relationship from the whole world; it would be nice not to have to hide it in your own house."
"You want me to tell the boys about us? I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Beks, I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, but from the time I've spent with them, they're ready. They want you to start dating; they want you to be happy. And they're smart kids. They're going to figure it out sooner or later."
"I know you're right,, but it's tough. It's been just me and them for so long and to all of a sudden have this man in their lives...what if something happens? What if things don't work out between us? What if we don't make it being apart for five months? Then I have to rip another man out of their lives and I don't know if I can do that to them."
"I told you, I am not going anywhere. I know five months seems like a long time, but we can work it out. I can come back and visit you, you can come up and visit me, hopefully for my birthday, actually our birthdays, and if the boys know about us, it won't be difficult to explain. And we'll talk every day. Look beautiful, I don't want to to worry your pretty little head about what's going to happen over the off season. It's us. We're solid and we love each other; we can get through anything."

Who was this man that was breaking down the wall I had worked so long and so hard to build; the man who was nearly convincing me to throw out every rule and principle I ever had?
He was Sidney Crosby. A man that could instantly turn you to mush with one smile and one wink of his beautiful golden eyes. A man who was so charming and charismatic that he could sell snow to the Eskimos. A man so hypnotizingly handsome you went weak in the knees at the mere sight of him. He was Sidney Crosby and he was undoubtedly the love of my life.

"Fine, I'll tell them."
"We'll tell them."
I looked up at him and smiled. "We'll tell them."
"Good. Now that that's settled, I am exhausted, can we go to sleep?"
"Yes, we can go to sleep."
Sid gave me one more good night kiss before curling up behind me and wrapping his arm around me.
"Does that mean I'll be allowed to sleep over more?" he asked kissing my neck.
"Let's not push it Romeo. Baby steps, baby steps."
"I love you Bekah."
"I love you too Crosby."

His breathing soon became deep and even and I knew he was already in dreamland. I on the other hand, was not so lucky. At that moment in time I had never felt more safe and relaxed and more terrified all at the same time. I couldn't help but feel that my whole life was about to be turned upside down.

Chapter 94

Two weeks later I was sitting in my familiar seat waiting for the boys to skate out on the ice for their warm ups. Next to me sat Brittany. Yes, I was reaching out to the bimbo as part of my plan to make everyone believe I liked her and suspected nothing. She said she had never been to a hockey game before, and I knew Max had been trying to get her to a game for weeks. I had finally convinced her to come with me. The things I will do for that boy!
"Here they come," I said to her as they came flying out of the runway.
"How exciting," Brittany replied without looking up while she was texting on her phone.
"Ya know, this is really the only time Max has to acknowledge your presence. He's really excited that your here. Do you think that you might be able to at least watch him for a few minutes so he thinks you're excited to be here?"
"He's not even going to know that I'm not paying attention."
"Oh, no? Look," I instructed.
Brittany lifted her head just in time to be startled by the puck Max shot at the glass.
"Jesus Christ!" she yelped. "Was that really necessary?"
I laughed.
"That's his way of saying hello."
Max winked at her before skating off towards the net and Sidney promptly replaced him in the spot he had occupied.
Brittany's eyes were intensely focused on Sid's back. I don't think she even blinked until he to skated towards the net.
'This is going to be easier than I thought,' I said to myself.
"So how come you didn't get the same treatment from Sidney?" she asked turning her attention back to Sidney skating around the ice.
"Because no one is supposed to know about us remember?"
"Oh, right. So how's that work exactly?"
"I'm not sure I know what you mean?"
"Well, like how do you go anywhere together without people seeing you?"
"We don't really. Most of the time we spend together is at my house or private team functions."
"So you don't go to the movies or out to the clubs or anything?"
"For one thing, both of us are extremely busy; he has games and practices and endless team and sponsor commitments and I have an extremely full work schedule and they boys have busy schedules with their extracurricular activities, so by the time we get to spend any time together, it's usually late and we just stay in and relax."
"Hmm. So no clubs huh? I wouldn't know what to do on a Saturday night if I wasn't going to a club."
"I'm a little beyond the club scene and even if Sid was old enough, which he isn't, he's very careful about the image he puts out there. He wouldn't want to be seen going to a club."
The bimbo sat silent for a few minutes.
"So what exactly is the age difference between you and Sidney?"
"That's a bold question."
"Sorry, it's just kinda obvious ya know?"
"Obvious how?"
"Well, as good looking as Sidney is, he does look his age. You are clearly more...mature than him and you just said that you're past the club scene and you have two kids and..."
"Brittany, stop. Yes there is a considerable age difference between Sid and I but we don't dwell on the numbers."
"That big huh? That's okay, I was just curious. It's cool that you guys have enough in common to keep a relationship going, usually when the age difference is that big there isn't a whole lot to hold it together. How did you two meet anyway?"
'I can't believe I am willingly sitting here being insulted by the witch that's trying to get on my boyfriend.'
"I met his dad first actually; the first day of training camp. He introduced us."
"Wow, so you already met his family? Cool. So did his dad like, set you guys up?"
"Sid and I have a very...complicated history. It's been a long haul to get where we are, and I'm not really comfortable discussing our relationship with someone I don't know very well. It's the whole privacy thing."

She looked a little startled by my comment but accepted it. We sat in awkward silence for most of the first and second periods. Silence except for the annoying questions she seemed to throw out every two minutes or so. Questions like "Why do they blow the whistle so much? Why doesn't he just push him out of the way? Why do they have to wear helmets, you can't see their faces? Does it hurt when they get slammed into the wall like that? Why do they have to sit in that box for two minutes? Why is that a holding penalty? What's interference? He didn't trip him, he just fell down."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
I suddenly felt sorry for any man who ever tried to watch a game of any kind with a clueless girlfriend.
"This game is sooooo boring! I remember why I didn't want to come in the first place. It's cold and loud and these seats are uncomfortable," she whined.
"I hate to tell you this honey, but you better get used to it. Being the girlfriend of a hockey player means lots of time in arenas. Not to mention the community service you're expected to do."
"Community service!" she practically shrieked.
"The Penguins are extremely active in the community. Their spouses are expected to participate as well. I find it hard to believe you'd have a problem donating your time to great causes."
"Well, what do you do?"
"I don't do anything visible with the Pens. No one knows I'm a girlfriend remember? I do things behind the scenes like organizing events, making phone calls, getting donations, that kind of thing, but I've volunteered at women's shelters and homeless shelters for a while now. You always have to give back to the community."
"I don't have a lot of time for that kind of stuff."
"Well you better figure out how to make time cause it's going to be part of your life now that you're Max's girlfriend."
"Right. Great," she said in an unhappy, sarcastic tone.


We got back to our seats just in time for the beginning of the third after a trip to the ladies room. At the next whistle Brittany said something I was completely unprepared for.
"So I guess hockey is almost over. Max was telling me that the guys go home for the summer, I guess Sid will be going home too huh? Will you be going home with him for vacation?"

I had never thought about what was going to happen when the season was over. You get used to someone being there everyday, then going on short road trips, but going home for the whole summer?
"I don't know? Sid and I haven't talked about the summer."
"Oh. Well going home with him for the summer should be fun."
"I can't go home with him for the summer, I have to work. I have kids, I can't just take them away for the summer. They don't even know about us."
"Oooh. I see I hit a nerve. Touchy subject huh? Sorry. I just assumed you'd want to be with him.
I looked at her and she had a very satisfied look on her face.
'Oh you did not just start with me bitch! You should never start something you can't finish.'
I quickly composed myself and said "I'm sure we'll work it out. I have a bunch of vacation time coming to me, maybe I will finally take some time of to relax. He'll be back here a lot too I'm sure, he has a lot of commitments here. We'll be fine," I said confidently.
"If you say so," she said.

She had wanted to do anything she could to undermined my relationship with Sid from the moment we sat down - it knew it, but I wasn't going to let her know that I knew what she was doing. She was trying to plant a seed of doubt in my mind; I was not about to give her the satisfaction of knowing she succeeded.
Bitch! The bimbo was not going to get the best of me!

Happy opening day of the NHL season!!! Unfortunately for me it is an unhappy day forever veiled in darkness as I watched through tear filled eyes as my Joe's number 19 was raised to the rafters in the Pepsi Centre tonight. Until 6:53 pm MST this evening, I held out hope that he would in fact realize he had made a mistake and would surprise everyone and be in the line up for the Avalanche home opener as he has been every season for the past 14 years. Sadly, I have to accept that Super Joe will not be returning to the ice.
As sad as this reality is for me and the other Joe Sakic fans of the world, I am comforted by the fact that this phenomenal hockey player will now be able to be the phenomenal husband and father that he so desires to be. Joe took so much from his family so he could give so much to his team, his fans and the city of Denver. Joe, we thank you and your family for all you have sacrificed in order to give us, the fans the gift of being amazed by your talent, your leadership, your humility and your spirit night after night. I am honoured to have graced your presence. Enjoy your retirement and your family; you sure deserve it.
On a happier note... championship banner raising tommorrow night!!! (Great, more tears, but these ones will be happy tears!)

Now as for my story.... I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates lately but I have been up to my eyeballs in essays, and reports, and working full time, and lesson plans, and workshops and my own kids, and so on and so on and so on. (I know many of you relate and feel my pain). I have two major assignments due by Sunday and my goal is to have them wrapped up by game time tommorrow night so I can update this weekend. Please don't give up on me and stay tuned...