Chapter 70

We both got back into the car and sat in silence as we laid our heads back and closed our eyes. As if thinking the same thing at the same time we both burst out into laughter. Slowly regaining our composure, we looked at each other and smiled.
"I don't think I've ever had so much fun at breakfast before," Sid said.
"Me either. My cheeks hurt from laughing so much!"
"Maybe I can do something about that," he said, putting his hand on the back of my neck and pulling me towards him. He kissed my left cheek, then my right before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"It was my cheeks that hurt, not my lips," I said giving him a sly smile.
"I know, but they were getting jealous. I couldn't leave them out."
"That was pretty cheesy Crosby, even for you."
"What can I say, you have that effect on me."
"Not exactly the effect I was going for."
"Oh don't worry your pretty little head. It's not the ONLY effect you have on me," he said starting to turn a slight shade of pink.
"Oh really? Care to elaborate?"
He cleared his throat before saying, "No, not right now."
I swear I heard his voice crack a little. Sid started the car and I couldn't stop my eyes from closing.
"Tired?" he asked as he grabbed my hand and held it in his.
"Mmm hmm. It was a very long night."
"How about we get you home to bed then?" he said pulling away from the school.
"Do you have to work tonight?"
"No, I have tonight and tomorrow off."
"Great! We play tomorrow. Are you coming to the game?"
"I think so. I'd really like to bring Lily because we haven't spent much time together lately. I'll have to see if the boys can stay with the Parkers."
"Why don't you bring them? You guys can sit up in the box with Mario."
"Absolutely not. We have to keep things the same remember?"
"But it would be easier for you to just bring the boys."
"No buts. We agreed, as far as everyone is concerned we are just friends. Sitting in the box with Mario would just raise too many questions."
"Fine. I know when I'm fighting a loosing battle. But you do realize that I am going to tell Flower and Army. And I'll have to tell Mario."
"I understand Mario, but do you really think it's a good idea to tell Marc and Colby? That is not really the way to keep our relationship quiet."
"They are my best friends, I have to tell them. We can trust them not to say anything to anyone."
"It's your call Sid," I told him as we walked into the house. "If you think it's fine, I'm sure it will be."
"I won't tell them if you're not comfortable with it."
"It's fine. The main thing is to keep the kids out of it for now. Telling Marc and Colby has nothing to do with the boys. Hey, how did you weasel your way back in here anyways?" I asked.
Our conversation had just been so easy that it seemed like the natural flow of things to keep going, even if that meant coming back into the house.
"I figured I'd stay with you until you fell asleep," he said shyly.
"Is that right? And how are you going to lock the door on your way out?"
"Who's picking the boys up after school?"
"Me and don't answer a question with a question."
"That's not a very long sleep."
"I don't need a long sleep, otherwise I won't sleep tonight."
"So why don't I just stay here until you have to get the boys?"
"You have balls Crosby, inviting yourself into my house and I suppose my bed?"
"That is where you sleep isn't it?"
"What about your phone interviews?"
"Not til four. Next question?"
I thought about this for a minute. I knew I didn't really want him to leave, but I didn't want to make it easy for him either.
"You don't snore do you?"

Sid made some phone calls while I went into the bathroom to change. When I came out, Sid was just hanging up his phone.
"Thanks Mario, I'll see you this afternoon. Bye."
"Checking in with the boss?" I asked as I made my way across the room to the bed. Sid's eyes followed me like a cat tracking a fly.
"Uh yeah. Just letting him know where I was. I don't want him to worry about me," he replied not taking his eyes off me.
"What are you looking at?" I asked. "There's not a Nike swoosh in sight!"
"You. You are absolutely beautiful."
"Yeah, men's boxers and a tank are extremely hot! I don't know why they don't put this look on the cover of the Victoria's Secret catalogue," I said as I crawled under the covers.
"That's the thing about you Bekah, you have no idea how beautiful you are or how it affects people around you. You've got to see how beautiful you are when you look in the mirror," he said starting to get undressed. Now it was me who couldn't take my eyes off him.
"No, I see bags under my eyes and the gray hairs starting to show. There's a sexy image!"
"Stop! You are incredibly sexy and I don't see any of those things," he said sliding in bed next to me and propping himself up on his elbow so he could face me.
"Then I think you need to get your eyes checked."
"Why do you have such a hard time accepting how beautiful you are?"
"Because I don't think I am and it sure isn't something anyone's ever really told me before."
"You're kidding right? No one has ever told you're beautiful? Not even your parents?"
"Clearly you don't remember what I've told you about my past very well. David. David used to tell me I was beautiful all the time, but he was my little brother, hardly the voice of reason."
A look of sadness filled Sidney's carmel eyes. He moved closer to me and stroked my hair. He ran his finger down the side of my face and along my jaw until it was lifting my chin to look into his eyes.
"Well I'm telling you now," he whispered. "You are incredibly beautiful inside and out and that's why I love you."
His lips touched mine, and I swear I felt sparks fly! He pulled me closer to him until I was enveloped in his strong arms. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him, feeling every muscle tense with every movement our bodies made. Our legs intertwined with one another and our lips, tongues and hands explored places we dared not go before this moment. He rolled over onto his back pulling me up on top of him in one fluid motion. As I sat straddled over his massive legs, looking deep into his golden eyes, I could feel his passion growing beneath me and it was that moment it hit me. Seven years. It had been almost seven years since I last had sex and it had been in no way enjoyable or by choice most of the last year of my marriage. Could I even do this? Do I even remember how to do it? Most of my memories were trying to stop it or just going numb until it was over. How do I let myself feel the pleasure? I don't know, but looking down at Sid, I knew it was him that I wanted to find out with. I let my hands caress his chest, then over his shoulders and down his arms. God I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me, caress every inch of my body. I wanted to feel him inside me as we made love. I couldn't take it anymore! I pulled him up to me and kissed him with everything I had left in me. His lips tasted so sweet, and as our tongues danced his hands explored my body underneath my tank top. I threw my head back to try and catch my breath but found myself even more breathless as he moved his lips from mine down my jaw to my neck and along my shoulder. I reached my hands up into his hair and grabbed onto his curls and let my body feel every amazing sensation I was experiencing. His hands slowly came around and cupped my breasts as he kissed them through my tank top. The shear pleasure nearly sent me over the edge and when I gasped I must have scared him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered breathlessly wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry. I know we said we'd take it slow."
"There's nothing to be sorry for," I said lifting his head and kissing him once again, praying we'd continue where we'd left off.
"No. I was out of line. We said slow and that's how it needs to be."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Of all the things I've said to him, this is the one he chooses to follow!
I rolled off of him and he settled down on his back and I sat facing him.
"Okay. You sure know how to make a girl feel like shit. What's going on Sid?" I said with more than a hint of anger in my voice.
"Come here," he said pulling me down into his arm. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand against his chest. I could feel just how hard his heart was beating.
"Don't be mad," he said kissing my forehead. "We said we were going to take things slow, and as much as I want you right now, the time isn't right. Bekah I love you, and when I make love to you for the first time, I want it to be special and romantic and perfect and everything you deserve. I don't want it to be like this."
"I thought this was pretty great," I said snuggling in closer to him, tiredness starting to take over.
"This was great, but you deserve better. I want to give you everything Beks."
He got no response except the steady rhythm of her deep breathing and he knew she was asleep.
"Sweet dreams Beks. I love you," he whispered as he too drifted off into the most peaceful sleep he's had since he could remember.