This is not the direction I was going to go with this chapter, but when I started writing it just kind of poured out of me. Sorry it's a long one but I hope y'all like it!
"Maybe we should wait until after the summer," I slipped out casually when Sidney was refilling my coffee mug.
"I knew you'd chicken out," he said calmly replacing the pot in its stand. "Let me guess...you were up half the night thinking about this and now you don't want to tell the boys about us?"
"Don't be mad; just hear me out okay?"
"I'm listening."
"We've already waited this long; I'm just afraid that if we tell them now, they won't understand why you have to leave for so long. If we wait until you come back, then we can tell them and start out fresh at the beginning of the season and they have the whole eight months to get used to the new dynamic. This is a huge step for them too. To tell them we're together then have you leave...I just think that's too much for them to process in a short time."
He was eerily quiet for a minute before he let out a long sigh.
"If you want to wait we'll wait," he said quietly. "I'm going to go have a shower."
He got up from the counter and kissed me on top of the head before heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. All I could see was the look on Sid's face. It wasn't really anger; it wasn't really hurt. It was almost like there was no emotion there at all.
'What's wrong with you?' I asked myself. 'You are going to blow it if you keep it up. How much shit do you think he's going to put up with from you? Why can't you just let yourself be happy? He's everything you ever said you wanted so what's the problem? You know what the problem is stupid. You have to get over it Bekah, Sidney is not him. You left so you could have a good life; so you could give the boys a good life, but as long as you let him hold you back you'll never be free. And he wins.
I heard the water turn off and made my way back to the bedroom. Sid came in a few minutes later in nothing but black boxer briefs, droplets of water still glistening off his perfectly sculpted chest, and a towel that he was using to dry his chestnut curls.
"Bekah, you scared me," he said when the towel was no longer covering his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he kind of chuckled. "What's up?"
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you already said that."
"No I'm sorry," I said once more while reaching for his hands. He obliged and let me pull him towards me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his stomach.
"I'm sorry, Sidney. I'm so sorry. I love you."
"I love you too Beks," he replied tentatively. "What's going on?"
I pulled away and made him sit down beside me on the bed so I could look in his eyes.
"Beks, you're scaring me a bit...what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I smiled. "That's just it Sidney, for the first time in my life, nothing is wrong."
Sidney looked at me with slight confusion on his face.
"Isn't that a good thing?" he questioned.
"It is a good thing; it's a very good thing," I said squeezing his hand. "But you and I both know how well I deal with good things."
Sidney smiled warmly and pulled my head to his until our foreheads were resting on one another.
"I know he hurt you Bekah, but you can't let him keep hurting you."
"I know," I whispered lifting my head so I could see his golden eyes. "And I have to stop hurting you."
"Hurting me?"
"Yes. This whole relationship has been about me...what I want, what I need, what's best for my kids and you've done it all; every single thing I've asked of you, you've done and you've never complained. But I have never considered how you felt through this whole thing. It wasn't until I saw the look on your face just now that it really hit me. I've been taking you for granted and I've hurt you and I'm sorry. I don't ever want to hurt you again."
"You're being silly Bekah," he said pulling me into a hug.
"We're telling the boys about us as soon as they get home."
"Mom, we're home," Alex called bursting through the door with Jake in tow.
"I'm in the kitchen," I called back.
"Mom, you'll never guess...oh, hey Sid."
"Hey Alex."
"Yay, Sid's here!" Jake exclaimed coming into the kitchen.
"Guys, can you sit down for a minute, Sid and I want to talk to you," I said.
"Whatever it is I didn't do it," Alex said.
"Me neither," was Jake's reply.
"You guys aren't in trouble for anything, Sid and I just want to tell you something."
Three sets of chocolate eyes were all looking at me with anticipation. I took a deep breath before speaking.
'Here we go. No turning back.' I thought to myself.
"Okay, so both of you know that Sid and I are friends and we've been spending a lot of time together, hanging out and getting to know each other. Well, while we've been getting to know each other we've discovered that we really like each other."
"Like more than friends?" Alex asked.
Sid and I looked at each other and he said "Yeah bud, like more than friends."
"So are you my mom's boyfriend?" Jake asked.
"Well, that's kind of up to you guys."
I gave him a questioning look, but didn't interrupt.
"I really like your Mom," Sid continued, "and I want to be her boyfriend, but I want to know if that's okay with you guys."
Jake and Alex looked at each other.
"My mom's never had a boyfriend before," Alex started, "so...we don't really know what it means for us."
"What do you mean honey?" I asked.
"Well, like what's going to be different?"
"Nothing really. Sid might be here a little more but other than that..."
"Is Sid going to tell us what to do now?" Jake asked.
"This is new for all of us," I began. "I haven't had a man in my life for a long time..."
"Yeah, and I don't have kids of my own," Sid added.
"And we don't know what it's like to have a Dad," Jake piped up.
"I can't even remember him anymore," Alex said quietly.
My heart broke at that moment and I could feel my eyes starting to tear up.
"I know it's hard for you guys to understand because you were so young, but your dad...your dad was just not a very nice man. He loved you both very much, but sometimes grown ups just can't get along and they hurt each other."
"Like beating each other up?" Jake asked.
I was not prepared to have this conversation. I was a planner and I had never planned what I would tell them if the subject of their father ever came up. Do I tell them the truth or do I protect their innocence.
"There are lots of different ways to hurt people sweet pea. Sometimes people hit to hurt and sometimes they just use words to hurt your feelings. It doesn't matter if you hit or if you use mean words, it is never okay to hurt someone on purpose. Your daddy and I just couldn't stop hurting each other and that was not a safe way for us to live, that's why we had to leave. I needed to keep you safe and I couldn't do that living with your daddy."
"So where is he now?"
"I don't really know honey, we're not allowed to see him anymore."
"Why not?"
It didn't surprise me that Jake was so curious, he was too young to remember anything and we never really talked about it. Alex listened quietly.
"Sometimes if you hurt someone, you're not allowed to be around them anymore so you don't hurt them again."
"Like at school when Josh and Joey kept fighting and now they're not allowed to play together anymore?"
"Yes, like that."
"So now that Sid's your boyfriend is he going to sleep with you?"
"Excuse me?" I practically spit out my mouthful of coffee. "What do you mean?"
"You know. Are you guys going to sleep in the same bed like other mommies and daddies?"
"Well, what would you think about that?" I asked.
"I think it would be cool. Sid can wear his pj's and watch movies in bed with us on Sundays."
"Well, that might happen in the future, but it's not going to happen right away. All of us are going to have a lot of different things to get used to and it's not always going to be easy. We will make each other angry, but it's how we deal with it that is important."
"Yeah, like if I do something that makes you guys mad, I want you to be able to tell me, don't hold it all inside. If you tell me, then we can talk about it and I'll know not to do it again," Sid said.
"So are you going to yell at us when we do bad things? And are you going to be able to ground us?" Jake asked Sidney.
"No, I will not yell at you, and it's totally up to your mom whether or not you get grounded."
"Sid is just like any other adult in your life; like Lily or the Parkers. You listen when they ask you to do something and you treat them with respect - no back talk. Do you have any other questions you want to ask?"
Jake seemed satisfied and went to watch a movie.
"You've been pretty quiet Alex, do you have anything you want to ask?"
He looked back and forth between me and Sid before shaking his head no. Sid and I exchanged knowing looks and I excused myself to go check on Jake. Neither Alex nor Sid moved from the table.
"Is something bothering you Alex?" Sid asked.
"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"
"Yes, if I can."
"I mean the real truth, not the kid truth that my mom tells us sometimes."
"Sure."
"Promise?"
"I promise. If I know the truth I will tell you."
"Do you know what really happened with my mom and dad?"
Sid didn't answer right away. He knew how Bekah felt about telling the boys about their father, but he couldn't lie to those big brown inquiring eyes that were staring up at him; he promised.
"Yes I do."
Alex looked down at his hands and barely spoke above a whisper.
"My dad hit her didn't he?"
Sid was a little surprised by Alex's question.
"Why would you ask that?"
"I've heard things."
"Like what kind of things?"
"Ive heard mom talking to Lily sometimes when they thought I was asleep. And that whole thing about grown ups hurting each other...I'm twelve, I'm not a baby I can figure it out. So, did he hit her or not?"
"Yes. Your dad used to hit your mom."
Alex just shook his head. "I knew it. How could you do that to someone you're supposed to love?"
"I don't know bud, I don't know."
"Why didn't she ever tell us the truth?"
"Well, you guys are pretty young to have that kind of thing be part of your life. She loves you and she tries to protect you from bad things. She didn't want you to think badly of your father; ruin any good memories you might have."
"I don't have any memories anymore and I don't really want to remember someone who would hurt my mom."
"I understand that."
Sidney and Alex sat silently at the kitchen table. They didn't need to say anything; they had formed a bond that day that went beyond words.
"Sid?"
"Yeah bud?"
"Do you love my mom?"
Sid smiled. "Yes I do."
Alex smiled for the first time since he sat down at the table that morning.
"Then don't hurt her okay."
"I will never hurt your mom Alex; I promise."
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Chapter 95
"What a night," Sid sighed as he sat back on the couch and closed his eyes.
"You don't have to say that twice," I said joining him. I loved the way I fit perfectly against his body. "I need some aspirin, my head is pounding."
"Oh, poor baby. I'll get you some."
"Sid, you don't have to get me aspirin in my own house."
"Are you kidding? That's what I'm here for princess, to serve your every need." A sly smile appeared across those gorgeous lips.
It was strange to watch him move through my house so naturally and fluidly. Considering how little time he actually spent here, watching him you'd think he had lived here for years. But that's the way things were with us: natural, fluid, familiar. We were still getting to know each other, but it was like we'd known each other forever; we often could finish each others' sentences.
Sid returned with the aspirin and a glass of water. "Here, take these," he commanded.
"Thank you," I said kissing him gently on the lips. I was about to pull away when I felt his hand snake around my neck and up through my hair, keeping my lips pressed to his. Gently and with great precision he parted my lips and deepened the kiss. Every fibre of my being felt like it was on fire. As the kissing intensified, I became more tense. I wanted him, there was no denying it, but the thought of being intimate with Sidney terrified me. Sid sensed the tension and slowly pulled away.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's just so hard sometimes. I don't think you realize the effect you have on me."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I have an idea," trying to put the throbbing between my legs out of my mind. "It's not easy for me either."
"Come here."
"I'm right here."
"Lay down," he instructed patting the pillow he placed on his lap.
I laid down with my head in his lap.
"Now close your eyes."
I looked at him questioningly.
"Close them."
"Yes sir."
I closed my eyes and he began to massage my temples.
"Mmmm."
"Feel good princess?"
"Your hands are amazing, please don't stop."
He massaged for what seemed like forever. "Is that better?"
"Much, thank you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"She was horrible. All the questions she asked, all the snide comments she made...ugh. I don't want to think about her anymore."
"Well, look at it this way; it may have been torture for you, but Max is on cloud nine and that's why you did this right?"
"Right. I can't remember seeing Max smile so much. I'm glad he's happy."
"Even though its with the...what do you call her? The bimbo?"
I chuckled. It was kind of funny to hear him call her that. "I just want him to be happy. Yes I would prefer it wasn't with a snotty bitch who wants to sleep with my boyfriend, but sooner or later she's gonna shoot herself in the foot."
"And you'll be there to pick up the pieces. Max is lucky to have you Beks, you're an amazing friend."
"Thank you."
"And an even more amazing girlfriend," he said leaning in to kiss me once again. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," I said before touching my lips to his.
It wasn't long before I was lost; lost in his lips, lost in his arms, lost in my own thoughts. I wasn't sure how it happened, but i found myself on his lap, struggling to straddle his massive thighs. My hands were tangled in his now lengthy curls. His hands were like ice as they slid ever so slowly up my back beneath my shirt, but I was barely phased. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wasn't sure what it was. I could feel all the apprehension from before slowly melting away with every inch of skin that he touched; my fears being replaced by the raw passion I could barely contain.
"Sidney," I said breathlessly.
"Mmmhmm,"
"The boys are at a sleep over," I said between kisses. "They won't be home until noon tomorrow."
Sid came to a dead stop and his gorgeous golden eyes were staring intently into mine.
"What does that mean?" he asked cautiously.
I smiled and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"Stay with me tonight."
Not another word was spoken. He took me by the hand and led me to the bedroom.
*******************************************************************
"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this."
"Oh thank God, me either," I said trying to catch my breath after what amounted to a steamy make out session.
We both rolled away from each other and on to our backs. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both broke out into hysterics.
"We're horrible," he said trying to catch his breath.
"Pathetic really," I added.
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. He knew by the look on my face that fun time was over.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Do you think we're ever going to seal the deal?"
"Come here," he said pulling into his body; right to the spot I fit so perfectly. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.
"Beks, when the time is right, it will happen and it will be..." he trailed off.
"It will be what?"
"Magic."
"But what if it doesn't happen?"
"It will."
"What if it takes like two years?"
"Then I guess my hand will hurt," he said trying to lighten the mood.
"To much information dear. Seriously Sid. Are you telling me that you're still going to be around in two years if you're not getting any?"
"You see to be forgetting that it's not just you Beks, it's me too. Maybe I won't be ready for five years. Are you going to stick it out?"
I just gave him a look of disbelief.
"What? It could happen," he said. "You need to stop thinking this way and just chill out. We have a great relationship; just take things as they come."
"You're right," I sighed. "I think too much."
"Yeah you do. But that's one of the reasons I love you so much. What brought all this on anyway?"
"Ugh, do you really have to ask?"
"What, she brought up our sex life?"
"No, she just has that weaselly way of planting that seed of doubt. I hate that I let her get to me."
"Well don't. I am not going anywhere."
"That's not exactly true is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just another wonderful point She brought up."
"That is...?"
"There's only two weeks left in the season."
"And?"
"And, where are you going when it's over?"
"Home. Ohhhhhhhh."
The light bulb went off.
"And where does that leave us? Week long road trips are brutal enough. How are we going to survive five months apart?"
"The same way we are surviving separations now, but I was kinda hoping that you'd be coming up and spending some time with me and get to know regular Sid, not hockey Sid."
"Sid, you know that's not possible. I can't just take months off of work. And where would I stay? At your parent's house with you? That would go over well. And nobody is supposed to know about us, how would you explain that? Someone would surely find out. Cole Harbour is a small town. And what about the kids? They don't know about us. How would I explain a vacation to visit you?"
"Well I was kind of thinking we could change that."
"Change what?"
"We have to hide our relationship from the whole world; it would be nice not to have to hide it in your own house."
"You want me to tell the boys about us? I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Beks, I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, but from the time I've spent with them, they're ready. They want you to start dating; they want you to be happy. And they're smart kids. They're going to figure it out sooner or later."
"I know you're right,, but it's tough. It's been just me and them for so long and to all of a sudden have this man in their lives...what if something happens? What if things don't work out between us? What if we don't make it being apart for five months? Then I have to rip another man out of their lives and I don't know if I can do that to them."
"I told you, I am not going anywhere. I know five months seems like a long time, but we can work it out. I can come back and visit you, you can come up and visit me, hopefully for my birthday, actually our birthdays, and if the boys know about us, it won't be difficult to explain. And we'll talk every day. Look beautiful, I don't want to to worry your pretty little head about what's going to happen over the off season. It's us. We're solid and we love each other; we can get through anything."
Who was this man that was breaking down the wall I had worked so long and so hard to build; the man who was nearly convincing me to throw out every rule and principle I ever had?
He was Sidney Crosby. A man that could instantly turn you to mush with one smile and one wink of his beautiful golden eyes. A man who was so charming and charismatic that he could sell snow to the Eskimos. A man so hypnotizingly handsome you went weak in the knees at the mere sight of him. He was Sidney Crosby and he was undoubtedly the love of my life.
"Fine, I'll tell them."
"We'll tell them."
I looked up at him and smiled. "We'll tell them."
"Good. Now that that's settled, I am exhausted, can we go to sleep?"
"Yes, we can go to sleep."
Sid gave me one more good night kiss before curling up behind me and wrapping his arm around me.
"Does that mean I'll be allowed to sleep over more?" he asked kissing my neck.
"Let's not push it Romeo. Baby steps, baby steps."
"I love you Bekah."
"I love you too Crosby."
His breathing soon became deep and even and I knew he was already in dreamland. I on the other hand, was not so lucky. At that moment in time I had never felt more safe and relaxed and more terrified all at the same time. I couldn't help but feel that my whole life was about to be turned upside down.
"You don't have to say that twice," I said joining him. I loved the way I fit perfectly against his body. "I need some aspirin, my head is pounding."
"Oh, poor baby. I'll get you some."
"Sid, you don't have to get me aspirin in my own house."
"Are you kidding? That's what I'm here for princess, to serve your every need." A sly smile appeared across those gorgeous lips.
It was strange to watch him move through my house so naturally and fluidly. Considering how little time he actually spent here, watching him you'd think he had lived here for years. But that's the way things were with us: natural, fluid, familiar. We were still getting to know each other, but it was like we'd known each other forever; we often could finish each others' sentences.
Sid returned with the aspirin and a glass of water. "Here, take these," he commanded.
"Thank you," I said kissing him gently on the lips. I was about to pull away when I felt his hand snake around my neck and up through my hair, keeping my lips pressed to his. Gently and with great precision he parted my lips and deepened the kiss. Every fibre of my being felt like it was on fire. As the kissing intensified, I became more tense. I wanted him, there was no denying it, but the thought of being intimate with Sidney terrified me. Sid sensed the tension and slowly pulled away.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's just so hard sometimes. I don't think you realize the effect you have on me."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I have an idea," trying to put the throbbing between my legs out of my mind. "It's not easy for me either."
"Come here."
"I'm right here."
"Lay down," he instructed patting the pillow he placed on his lap.
I laid down with my head in his lap.
"Now close your eyes."
I looked at him questioningly.
"Close them."
"Yes sir."
I closed my eyes and he began to massage my temples.
"Mmmm."
"Feel good princess?"
"Your hands are amazing, please don't stop."
He massaged for what seemed like forever. "Is that better?"
"Much, thank you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"She was horrible. All the questions she asked, all the snide comments she made...ugh. I don't want to think about her anymore."
"Well, look at it this way; it may have been torture for you, but Max is on cloud nine and that's why you did this right?"
"Right. I can't remember seeing Max smile so much. I'm glad he's happy."
"Even though its with the...what do you call her? The bimbo?"
I chuckled. It was kind of funny to hear him call her that. "I just want him to be happy. Yes I would prefer it wasn't with a snotty bitch who wants to sleep with my boyfriend, but sooner or later she's gonna shoot herself in the foot."
"And you'll be there to pick up the pieces. Max is lucky to have you Beks, you're an amazing friend."
"Thank you."
"And an even more amazing girlfriend," he said leaning in to kiss me once again. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," I said before touching my lips to his.
It wasn't long before I was lost; lost in his lips, lost in his arms, lost in my own thoughts. I wasn't sure how it happened, but i found myself on his lap, struggling to straddle his massive thighs. My hands were tangled in his now lengthy curls. His hands were like ice as they slid ever so slowly up my back beneath my shirt, but I was barely phased. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wasn't sure what it was. I could feel all the apprehension from before slowly melting away with every inch of skin that he touched; my fears being replaced by the raw passion I could barely contain.
"Sidney," I said breathlessly.
"Mmmhmm,"
"The boys are at a sleep over," I said between kisses. "They won't be home until noon tomorrow."
Sid came to a dead stop and his gorgeous golden eyes were staring intently into mine.
"What does that mean?" he asked cautiously.
I smiled and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"Stay with me tonight."
Not another word was spoken. He took me by the hand and led me to the bedroom.
*******************************************************************
"I'm so sorry, but I can't do this."
"Oh thank God, me either," I said trying to catch my breath after what amounted to a steamy make out session.
We both rolled away from each other and on to our backs. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both broke out into hysterics.
"We're horrible," he said trying to catch his breath.
"Pathetic really," I added.
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. He knew by the look on my face that fun time was over.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Do you think we're ever going to seal the deal?"
"Come here," he said pulling into his body; right to the spot I fit so perfectly. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair.
"Beks, when the time is right, it will happen and it will be..." he trailed off.
"It will be what?"
"Magic."
"But what if it doesn't happen?"
"It will."
"What if it takes like two years?"
"Then I guess my hand will hurt," he said trying to lighten the mood.
"To much information dear. Seriously Sid. Are you telling me that you're still going to be around in two years if you're not getting any?"
"You see to be forgetting that it's not just you Beks, it's me too. Maybe I won't be ready for five years. Are you going to stick it out?"
I just gave him a look of disbelief.
"What? It could happen," he said. "You need to stop thinking this way and just chill out. We have a great relationship; just take things as they come."
"You're right," I sighed. "I think too much."
"Yeah you do. But that's one of the reasons I love you so much. What brought all this on anyway?"
"Ugh, do you really have to ask?"
"What, she brought up our sex life?"
"No, she just has that weaselly way of planting that seed of doubt. I hate that I let her get to me."
"Well don't. I am not going anywhere."
"That's not exactly true is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just another wonderful point She brought up."
"That is...?"
"There's only two weeks left in the season."
"And?"
"And, where are you going when it's over?"
"Home. Ohhhhhhhh."
The light bulb went off.
"And where does that leave us? Week long road trips are brutal enough. How are we going to survive five months apart?"
"The same way we are surviving separations now, but I was kinda hoping that you'd be coming up and spending some time with me and get to know regular Sid, not hockey Sid."
"Sid, you know that's not possible. I can't just take months off of work. And where would I stay? At your parent's house with you? That would go over well. And nobody is supposed to know about us, how would you explain that? Someone would surely find out. Cole Harbour is a small town. And what about the kids? They don't know about us. How would I explain a vacation to visit you?"
"Well I was kind of thinking we could change that."
"Change what?"
"We have to hide our relationship from the whole world; it would be nice not to have to hide it in your own house."
"You want me to tell the boys about us? I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Beks, I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, but from the time I've spent with them, they're ready. They want you to start dating; they want you to be happy. And they're smart kids. They're going to figure it out sooner or later."
"I know you're right,, but it's tough. It's been just me and them for so long and to all of a sudden have this man in their lives...what if something happens? What if things don't work out between us? What if we don't make it being apart for five months? Then I have to rip another man out of their lives and I don't know if I can do that to them."
"I told you, I am not going anywhere. I know five months seems like a long time, but we can work it out. I can come back and visit you, you can come up and visit me, hopefully for my birthday, actually our birthdays, and if the boys know about us, it won't be difficult to explain. And we'll talk every day. Look beautiful, I don't want to to worry your pretty little head about what's going to happen over the off season. It's us. We're solid and we love each other; we can get through anything."
Who was this man that was breaking down the wall I had worked so long and so hard to build; the man who was nearly convincing me to throw out every rule and principle I ever had?
He was Sidney Crosby. A man that could instantly turn you to mush with one smile and one wink of his beautiful golden eyes. A man who was so charming and charismatic that he could sell snow to the Eskimos. A man so hypnotizingly handsome you went weak in the knees at the mere sight of him. He was Sidney Crosby and he was undoubtedly the love of my life.
"Fine, I'll tell them."
"We'll tell them."
I looked up at him and smiled. "We'll tell them."
"Good. Now that that's settled, I am exhausted, can we go to sleep?"
"Yes, we can go to sleep."
Sid gave me one more good night kiss before curling up behind me and wrapping his arm around me.
"Does that mean I'll be allowed to sleep over more?" he asked kissing my neck.
"Let's not push it Romeo. Baby steps, baby steps."
"I love you Bekah."
"I love you too Crosby."
His breathing soon became deep and even and I knew he was already in dreamland. I on the other hand, was not so lucky. At that moment in time I had never felt more safe and relaxed and more terrified all at the same time. I couldn't help but feel that my whole life was about to be turned upside down.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Chapter 94
Two weeks later I was sitting in my familiar seat waiting for the boys to skate out on the ice for their warm ups. Next to me sat Brittany. Yes, I was reaching out to the bimbo as part of my plan to make everyone believe I liked her and suspected nothing. She said she had never been to a hockey game before, and I knew Max had been trying to get her to a game for weeks. I had finally convinced her to come with me. The things I will do for that boy!
"Here they come," I said to her as they came flying out of the runway.
"How exciting," Brittany replied without looking up while she was texting on her phone.
"Ya know, this is really the only time Max has to acknowledge your presence. He's really excited that your here. Do you think that you might be able to at least watch him for a few minutes so he thinks you're excited to be here?"
"He's not even going to know that I'm not paying attention."
"Oh, no? Look," I instructed.
Brittany lifted her head just in time to be startled by the puck Max shot at the glass.
"Jesus Christ!" she yelped. "Was that really necessary?"
I laughed.
"That's his way of saying hello."
Max winked at her before skating off towards the net and Sidney promptly replaced him in the spot he had occupied.
Brittany's eyes were intensely focused on Sid's back. I don't think she even blinked until he to skated towards the net.
'This is going to be easier than I thought,' I said to myself.
"So how come you didn't get the same treatment from Sidney?" she asked turning her attention back to Sidney skating around the ice.
"Because no one is supposed to know about us remember?"
"Oh, right. So how's that work exactly?"
"I'm not sure I know what you mean?"
"Well, like how do you go anywhere together without people seeing you?"
"We don't really. Most of the time we spend together is at my house or private team functions."
"So you don't go to the movies or out to the clubs or anything?"
"For one thing, both of us are extremely busy; he has games and practices and endless team and sponsor commitments and I have an extremely full work schedule and they boys have busy schedules with their extracurricular activities, so by the time we get to spend any time together, it's usually late and we just stay in and relax."
"Hmm. So no clubs huh? I wouldn't know what to do on a Saturday night if I wasn't going to a club."
"I'm a little beyond the club scene and even if Sid was old enough, which he isn't, he's very careful about the image he puts out there. He wouldn't want to be seen going to a club."
The bimbo sat silent for a few minutes.
"So what exactly is the age difference between you and Sidney?"
"That's a bold question."
"Sorry, it's just kinda obvious ya know?"
"Obvious how?"
"Well, as good looking as Sidney is, he does look his age. You are clearly more...mature than him and you just said that you're past the club scene and you have two kids and..."
"Brittany, stop. Yes there is a considerable age difference between Sid and I but we don't dwell on the numbers."
"That big huh? That's okay, I was just curious. It's cool that you guys have enough in common to keep a relationship going, usually when the age difference is that big there isn't a whole lot to hold it together. How did you two meet anyway?"
'I can't believe I am willingly sitting here being insulted by the witch that's trying to get on my boyfriend.'
"I met his dad first actually; the first day of training camp. He introduced us."
"Wow, so you already met his family? Cool. So did his dad like, set you guys up?"
"Sid and I have a very...complicated history. It's been a long haul to get where we are, and I'm not really comfortable discussing our relationship with someone I don't know very well. It's the whole privacy thing."
She looked a little startled by my comment but accepted it. We sat in awkward silence for most of the first and second periods. Silence except for the annoying questions she seemed to throw out every two minutes or so. Questions like "Why do they blow the whistle so much? Why doesn't he just push him out of the way? Why do they have to wear helmets, you can't see their faces? Does it hurt when they get slammed into the wall like that? Why do they have to sit in that box for two minutes? Why is that a holding penalty? What's interference? He didn't trip him, he just fell down."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
I suddenly felt sorry for any man who ever tried to watch a game of any kind with a clueless girlfriend.
"This game is sooooo boring! I remember why I didn't want to come in the first place. It's cold and loud and these seats are uncomfortable," she whined.
"I hate to tell you this honey, but you better get used to it. Being the girlfriend of a hockey player means lots of time in arenas. Not to mention the community service you're expected to do."
"Community service!" she practically shrieked.
"The Penguins are extremely active in the community. Their spouses are expected to participate as well. I find it hard to believe you'd have a problem donating your time to great causes."
"Well, what do you do?"
"I don't do anything visible with the Pens. No one knows I'm a girlfriend remember? I do things behind the scenes like organizing events, making phone calls, getting donations, that kind of thing, but I've volunteered at women's shelters and homeless shelters for a while now. You always have to give back to the community."
"I don't have a lot of time for that kind of stuff."
"Well you better figure out how to make time cause it's going to be part of your life now that you're Max's girlfriend."
"Right. Great," she said in an unhappy, sarcastic tone.
We got back to our seats just in time for the beginning of the third after a trip to the ladies room. At the next whistle Brittany said something I was completely unprepared for.
"So I guess hockey is almost over. Max was telling me that the guys go home for the summer, I guess Sid will be going home too huh? Will you be going home with him for vacation?"
I had never thought about what was going to happen when the season was over. You get used to someone being there everyday, then going on short road trips, but going home for the whole summer?
"I don't know? Sid and I haven't talked about the summer."
"Oh. Well going home with him for the summer should be fun."
"I can't go home with him for the summer, I have to work. I have kids, I can't just take them away for the summer. They don't even know about us."
"Oooh. I see I hit a nerve. Touchy subject huh? Sorry. I just assumed you'd want to be with him.
I looked at her and she had a very satisfied look on her face.
'Oh you did not just start with me bitch! You should never start something you can't finish.'
I quickly composed myself and said "I'm sure we'll work it out. I have a bunch of vacation time coming to me, maybe I will finally take some time of to relax. He'll be back here a lot too I'm sure, he has a lot of commitments here. We'll be fine," I said confidently.
"If you say so," she said.
She had wanted to do anything she could to undermined my relationship with Sid from the moment we sat down - it knew it, but I wasn't going to let her know that I knew what she was doing. She was trying to plant a seed of doubt in my mind; I was not about to give her the satisfaction of knowing she succeeded.
Bitch! The bimbo was not going to get the best of me!
"Here they come," I said to her as they came flying out of the runway.
"How exciting," Brittany replied without looking up while she was texting on her phone.
"Ya know, this is really the only time Max has to acknowledge your presence. He's really excited that your here. Do you think that you might be able to at least watch him for a few minutes so he thinks you're excited to be here?"
"He's not even going to know that I'm not paying attention."
"Oh, no? Look," I instructed.
Brittany lifted her head just in time to be startled by the puck Max shot at the glass.
"Jesus Christ!" she yelped. "Was that really necessary?"
I laughed.
"That's his way of saying hello."
Max winked at her before skating off towards the net and Sidney promptly replaced him in the spot he had occupied.
Brittany's eyes were intensely focused on Sid's back. I don't think she even blinked until he to skated towards the net.
'This is going to be easier than I thought,' I said to myself.
"So how come you didn't get the same treatment from Sidney?" she asked turning her attention back to Sidney skating around the ice.
"Because no one is supposed to know about us remember?"
"Oh, right. So how's that work exactly?"
"I'm not sure I know what you mean?"
"Well, like how do you go anywhere together without people seeing you?"
"We don't really. Most of the time we spend together is at my house or private team functions."
"So you don't go to the movies or out to the clubs or anything?"
"For one thing, both of us are extremely busy; he has games and practices and endless team and sponsor commitments and I have an extremely full work schedule and they boys have busy schedules with their extracurricular activities, so by the time we get to spend any time together, it's usually late and we just stay in and relax."
"Hmm. So no clubs huh? I wouldn't know what to do on a Saturday night if I wasn't going to a club."
"I'm a little beyond the club scene and even if Sid was old enough, which he isn't, he's very careful about the image he puts out there. He wouldn't want to be seen going to a club."
The bimbo sat silent for a few minutes.
"So what exactly is the age difference between you and Sidney?"
"That's a bold question."
"Sorry, it's just kinda obvious ya know?"
"Obvious how?"
"Well, as good looking as Sidney is, he does look his age. You are clearly more...mature than him and you just said that you're past the club scene and you have two kids and..."
"Brittany, stop. Yes there is a considerable age difference between Sid and I but we don't dwell on the numbers."
"That big huh? That's okay, I was just curious. It's cool that you guys have enough in common to keep a relationship going, usually when the age difference is that big there isn't a whole lot to hold it together. How did you two meet anyway?"
'I can't believe I am willingly sitting here being insulted by the witch that's trying to get on my boyfriend.'
"I met his dad first actually; the first day of training camp. He introduced us."
"Wow, so you already met his family? Cool. So did his dad like, set you guys up?"
"Sid and I have a very...complicated history. It's been a long haul to get where we are, and I'm not really comfortable discussing our relationship with someone I don't know very well. It's the whole privacy thing."
She looked a little startled by my comment but accepted it. We sat in awkward silence for most of the first and second periods. Silence except for the annoying questions she seemed to throw out every two minutes or so. Questions like "Why do they blow the whistle so much? Why doesn't he just push him out of the way? Why do they have to wear helmets, you can't see their faces? Does it hurt when they get slammed into the wall like that? Why do they have to sit in that box for two minutes? Why is that a holding penalty? What's interference? He didn't trip him, he just fell down."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
I suddenly felt sorry for any man who ever tried to watch a game of any kind with a clueless girlfriend.
"This game is sooooo boring! I remember why I didn't want to come in the first place. It's cold and loud and these seats are uncomfortable," she whined.
"I hate to tell you this honey, but you better get used to it. Being the girlfriend of a hockey player means lots of time in arenas. Not to mention the community service you're expected to do."
"Community service!" she practically shrieked.
"The Penguins are extremely active in the community. Their spouses are expected to participate as well. I find it hard to believe you'd have a problem donating your time to great causes."
"Well, what do you do?"
"I don't do anything visible with the Pens. No one knows I'm a girlfriend remember? I do things behind the scenes like organizing events, making phone calls, getting donations, that kind of thing, but I've volunteered at women's shelters and homeless shelters for a while now. You always have to give back to the community."
"I don't have a lot of time for that kind of stuff."
"Well you better figure out how to make time cause it's going to be part of your life now that you're Max's girlfriend."
"Right. Great," she said in an unhappy, sarcastic tone.
We got back to our seats just in time for the beginning of the third after a trip to the ladies room. At the next whistle Brittany said something I was completely unprepared for.
"So I guess hockey is almost over. Max was telling me that the guys go home for the summer, I guess Sid will be going home too huh? Will you be going home with him for vacation?"
I had never thought about what was going to happen when the season was over. You get used to someone being there everyday, then going on short road trips, but going home for the whole summer?
"I don't know? Sid and I haven't talked about the summer."
"Oh. Well going home with him for the summer should be fun."
"I can't go home with him for the summer, I have to work. I have kids, I can't just take them away for the summer. They don't even know about us."
"Oooh. I see I hit a nerve. Touchy subject huh? Sorry. I just assumed you'd want to be with him.
I looked at her and she had a very satisfied look on her face.
'Oh you did not just start with me bitch! You should never start something you can't finish.'
I quickly composed myself and said "I'm sure we'll work it out. I have a bunch of vacation time coming to me, maybe I will finally take some time of to relax. He'll be back here a lot too I'm sure, he has a lot of commitments here. We'll be fine," I said confidently.
"If you say so," she said.
She had wanted to do anything she could to undermined my relationship with Sid from the moment we sat down - it knew it, but I wasn't going to let her know that I knew what she was doing. She was trying to plant a seed of doubt in my mind; I was not about to give her the satisfaction of knowing she succeeded.
Bitch! The bimbo was not going to get the best of me!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Happy opening day of the NHL season!!! Unfortunately for me it is an unhappy day forever veiled in darkness as I watched through tear filled eyes as my Joe's number 19 was raised to the rafters in the Pepsi Centre tonight. Until 6:53 pm MST this evening, I held out hope that he would in fact realize he had made a mistake and would surprise everyone and be in the line up for the Avalanche home opener as he has been every season for the past 14 years. Sadly, I have to accept that Super Joe will not be returning to the ice.
As sad as this reality is for me and the other Joe Sakic fans of the world, I am comforted by the fact that this phenomenal hockey player will now be able to be the phenomenal husband and father that he so desires to be. Joe took so much from his family so he could give so much to his team, his fans and the city of Denver. Joe, we thank you and your family for all you have sacrificed in order to give us, the fans the gift of being amazed by your talent, your leadership, your humility and your spirit night after night. I am honoured to have graced your presence. Enjoy your retirement and your family; you sure deserve it.
On a happier note... championship banner raising tommorrow night!!! (Great, more tears, but these ones will be happy tears!)
Now as for my story.... I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates lately but I have been up to my eyeballs in essays, and reports, and working full time, and lesson plans, and workshops and my own kids, and so on and so on and so on. (I know many of you relate and feel my pain). I have two major assignments due by Sunday and my goal is to have them wrapped up by game time tommorrow night so I can update this weekend. Please don't give up on me and stay tuned...
As sad as this reality is for me and the other Joe Sakic fans of the world, I am comforted by the fact that this phenomenal hockey player will now be able to be the phenomenal husband and father that he so desires to be. Joe took so much from his family so he could give so much to his team, his fans and the city of Denver. Joe, we thank you and your family for all you have sacrificed in order to give us, the fans the gift of being amazed by your talent, your leadership, your humility and your spirit night after night. I am honoured to have graced your presence. Enjoy your retirement and your family; you sure deserve it.
On a happier note... championship banner raising tommorrow night!!! (Great, more tears, but these ones will be happy tears!)
Now as for my story.... I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates lately but I have been up to my eyeballs in essays, and reports, and working full time, and lesson plans, and workshops and my own kids, and so on and so on and so on. (I know many of you relate and feel my pain). I have two major assignments due by Sunday and my goal is to have them wrapped up by game time tommorrow night so I can update this weekend. Please don't give up on me and stay tuned...
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Chapter 93
By the time the men were home long enough to take a breath, almost another month had past. Sid and I were in a great place in our relationship and I had my best friend back. Life was good. Lily had spent a good part of the time that the guys were away trying to devise a foolproof plan for the demise of the bimbo. I gotta give the girl credit, she came up with some pretty brilliant ideas, but me being me; I was having second thoughts.
"You are far too nice for your own good ya know that? Sometimes I can't even believe we're friends!" she told me the night before the guys came home.
"You're friends with me because you need someone to be your conscience," I replied only half joking.
"I don't need a conscience because I never have any regrets."
"Come on Lil, I know you better than that. You have to regret at least one thing you've done in that torrid past you have?"
She thought about this for a minute before saying "You're right! I do have one regret."
"Only one?" I quipped. "Please, I'm dying to know what it could be," I said rather sarcastically.
She looked at me, smiled the most evil grin and blurted out "I should have fucked Max when I had the chance."
"Lillian Marie Norman!"
"What?"
"Could you be more crude?"
"Lighten up Beks."
"I don't need to lighten up, and for the record, nothing would make me happier then you and Max getting together, but we still have one problem."
"Not if you take my advise and stick it to the bitch."
"Lil, if I go out of my way to make her self destruct, I'm no better than her plotting behind Max's back. I'd much rather let things play out and see what happens."
"And risk her making a move on your man? You are fucking crazy!"
"You're forgetting one small detail here Lily; I was so angry, I did too at first."
"What's that?"
"I'm worried about nothing. It doesn't matter what Brittany says or does to try and get Sidney; he is not going to be a willing participant. He loves me. He's not going to let anything happen that shouldn't."
"Okay, where's the real Bekah? You know, the one who never thinks anything good will happen; the one who is lacking in self confidence; the one who swore up and down that she would never fall in love...ever. Where's that girl?"
"It's amazing what the persistence and love of a good man can do isn't it?"
"Oh hell no! You did not just say something that cheesy!" she laughed as she threw a pillow at me.
"I know it's cheesy, but it's true. If Sidney hadn't been so persistent, and so understanding of everything from my past to my relationship with Max, I never would have come out from under that dark cloud. He is truly the most amazing person I've ever met. I don't know what I ever did to deserve him, but I thank my lucky stars every day that I have him."
"I love you Beks, and that's sweet and all, but seriously...stop. You're gonna make me puke."
"I know, it's disgusting, but I can't help it! I love him and he loves me. I trust him completely. There is no way that he'd let anything happen and I don't want to give him or Max a reason to be pissed at me. If I play games and they find out...neither of them would forgive me and I am not going to take that chance."
"So we're just gonna let it be and see what happens?"
"Exactly. The bimbo can ruin her own life, but she's not going to ruin mine."
"So what happens next?"
"Sidney and I are having dinner with them tomorrow. I think it will be very interesting."
"What aren't you telling me missy?"
"Sidney gave Max the go ahead to tell Brittany that I am his girlfriend."
"WHAT!!!" Lily shrieked. "I thought you guys weren't going to tell anyone?"
"Well, Sid and I talked about it after Max and I made up. We figured that if we're going to be spending time with them, she'd start to wonder why we were always together. Plus, I think it will be a good first test; ya know to see what her reaction is."
"Oooooh that is a great plan!"
"We'll see what happens at dinner tomorrow!"
"Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?" Sidney asked me in the car on our way to the restaurant.
"Proud of me? For what?"
"For swallowing your pride and apologizing to Max even though you're right," he said kissing the back of my hand that he was holding.
Did he just say I was right?
"What do you mean even though I'm right?"
"Beks, I know you wouldn't lie about something this big. I'm sorry I never told you that before. I was in a tough spot. I was trying to support my friend and my girlfriend and I didn't do a very good job at either."
I couldn't think of anything else to say except "I love you."
He grinned and said "I love you too."
"I'm sorry Sidney," I said quietly.
"For what?"
"For being so angry with you for not believing me."
"I didn't know you were angry with me."
"I tried very hard to hide it. I already lost Max, I couldn't bare loosing you too."
"You are never going to loose me Beks," he said kissing my hand again. "I'm here for the long haul; for better or worse."
Did he seriously just spew part of a marriage vow to me?
"Well lets hope there's no more worse. I've had enough worse for a lifetime."
"I'll second that."
"Hey, has Max told Brittany about us yet?"
"No, I think he's planning on doing it tonight, so we could be there."
"Why would he want us to be there?"
"I might have mentioned to him that I'd like to be there to gauge her reaction...you know for future reference when we start telling peopl.e."
He had this look on his face that I couldn't read at first. Then that cheeky grin appeared across his beautiful lips and instantly I knew. I knew this was his way of 'supporting' me. He was making sure I was there so I could see her reaction. He was anticipating a negative reaction too
I smiled at him satisfactorily.
"I love you," he whispered.
Once again Max and Brittany beat us to the restaurant. They both stood as Sidney and I approached and I couldn't help but laugh to myself watching her fuss with her hair and smooth her dress; a dress that was bordering on inappropriate for the kind of restaurant we were in.
Sidney shook Max's hand and gave the bimbo a polite kiss on the cheek. She blushed. I got the typical french greeting from Max and we took our seats. Max ordered a bottle of champagne when the waitress came by to take our drink orders.
"Champagne? Maxie, what's the occasion?" I asked.
"Nothing really, just a coming together of new friends and new loves," he winked at me. "Which one of you want to do the honours?"
Sid and I looked at each other and he knew exactly what to do.
"I guess I will," he said as the champagne arrived.
"Brittany I must apologize to you."
She looked like a deer caught in the headlights and stumbled over her words.
"M...me? Wh...why are you apologizing to me?"
"I was less than truthful with you when we first met."
"I don't understand."
"You asked me if I had a girlfriend the last time we had dinner and I'm afraid I wasn't exactly truthful."
"Oh?"
Sidney put his arm around me and you could see the colour drain from her face.
"Bekah and I have been together for a while now. We haven't told anyone except for a few close friends and family because of all the media attention it would get. Seeing as how it's my rookie year and there's been so much hype surrounding me, I have alot to prove and if the press or anyone else found out I had a girlfriend, it would be a huge distraction. Not to mention the poor boys."
"B b boys?" she stammered.
"Yes, Alex and Jake, Bekah's two boys. If our relationship became public it would completely shatter their world. Keeping their lives the same as it was before I met Bekah is the most important thing to us. I'm sure you understand the need to keep our relationship private."
For a brief moment I was almost positive her head was going to explode and I was enjoying every second of it.
"So why are you telling me?" she said when she was able to find her voice.
"Because you are Max's girlfriend and he is Bekah's best friend so we'll be spending alot of time together. Wouldn't you start to wonder why Bekah and I are always together if we didn't tell you?"
"P-r-o-b-a-b-l-y" she said very slowly.
"Well now you won't have to wonder. I trust that you will keep this information to yourself...as a personal favour to me?"
Her eyes lit up at Sidney's words. "Yes."
"Good. Thank you," he said giving her a wink for good measure, to which she giggled like a school girl. "It would be very unfortunate if word got out. With the limited number of people that know, we would know exactly who leaked the information. So, now that that's out of the way, who's hungry?"
I had never loved Sidney more than I did at that moment.
"You are far too nice for your own good ya know that? Sometimes I can't even believe we're friends!" she told me the night before the guys came home.
"You're friends with me because you need someone to be your conscience," I replied only half joking.
"I don't need a conscience because I never have any regrets."
"Come on Lil, I know you better than that. You have to regret at least one thing you've done in that torrid past you have?"
She thought about this for a minute before saying "You're right! I do have one regret."
"Only one?" I quipped. "Please, I'm dying to know what it could be," I said rather sarcastically.
She looked at me, smiled the most evil grin and blurted out "I should have fucked Max when I had the chance."
"Lillian Marie Norman!"
"What?"
"Could you be more crude?"
"Lighten up Beks."
"I don't need to lighten up, and for the record, nothing would make me happier then you and Max getting together, but we still have one problem."
"Not if you take my advise and stick it to the bitch."
"Lil, if I go out of my way to make her self destruct, I'm no better than her plotting behind Max's back. I'd much rather let things play out and see what happens."
"And risk her making a move on your man? You are fucking crazy!"
"You're forgetting one small detail here Lily; I was so angry, I did too at first."
"What's that?"
"I'm worried about nothing. It doesn't matter what Brittany says or does to try and get Sidney; he is not going to be a willing participant. He loves me. He's not going to let anything happen that shouldn't."
"Okay, where's the real Bekah? You know, the one who never thinks anything good will happen; the one who is lacking in self confidence; the one who swore up and down that she would never fall in love...ever. Where's that girl?"
"It's amazing what the persistence and love of a good man can do isn't it?"
"Oh hell no! You did not just say something that cheesy!" she laughed as she threw a pillow at me.
"I know it's cheesy, but it's true. If Sidney hadn't been so persistent, and so understanding of everything from my past to my relationship with Max, I never would have come out from under that dark cloud. He is truly the most amazing person I've ever met. I don't know what I ever did to deserve him, but I thank my lucky stars every day that I have him."
"I love you Beks, and that's sweet and all, but seriously...stop. You're gonna make me puke."
"I know, it's disgusting, but I can't help it! I love him and he loves me. I trust him completely. There is no way that he'd let anything happen and I don't want to give him or Max a reason to be pissed at me. If I play games and they find out...neither of them would forgive me and I am not going to take that chance."
"So we're just gonna let it be and see what happens?"
"Exactly. The bimbo can ruin her own life, but she's not going to ruin mine."
"So what happens next?"
"Sidney and I are having dinner with them tomorrow. I think it will be very interesting."
"What aren't you telling me missy?"
"Sidney gave Max the go ahead to tell Brittany that I am his girlfriend."
"WHAT!!!" Lily shrieked. "I thought you guys weren't going to tell anyone?"
"Well, Sid and I talked about it after Max and I made up. We figured that if we're going to be spending time with them, she'd start to wonder why we were always together. Plus, I think it will be a good first test; ya know to see what her reaction is."
"Oooooh that is a great plan!"
"We'll see what happens at dinner tomorrow!"
"Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?" Sidney asked me in the car on our way to the restaurant.
"Proud of me? For what?"
"For swallowing your pride and apologizing to Max even though you're right," he said kissing the back of my hand that he was holding.
Did he just say I was right?
"What do you mean even though I'm right?"
"Beks, I know you wouldn't lie about something this big. I'm sorry I never told you that before. I was in a tough spot. I was trying to support my friend and my girlfriend and I didn't do a very good job at either."
I couldn't think of anything else to say except "I love you."
He grinned and said "I love you too."
"I'm sorry Sidney," I said quietly.
"For what?"
"For being so angry with you for not believing me."
"I didn't know you were angry with me."
"I tried very hard to hide it. I already lost Max, I couldn't bare loosing you too."
"You are never going to loose me Beks," he said kissing my hand again. "I'm here for the long haul; for better or worse."
Did he seriously just spew part of a marriage vow to me?
"Well lets hope there's no more worse. I've had enough worse for a lifetime."
"I'll second that."
"Hey, has Max told Brittany about us yet?"
"No, I think he's planning on doing it tonight, so we could be there."
"Why would he want us to be there?"
"I might have mentioned to him that I'd like to be there to gauge her reaction...you know for future reference when we start telling peopl.e."
He had this look on his face that I couldn't read at first. Then that cheeky grin appeared across his beautiful lips and instantly I knew. I knew this was his way of 'supporting' me. He was making sure I was there so I could see her reaction. He was anticipating a negative reaction too
I smiled at him satisfactorily.
"I love you," he whispered.
Once again Max and Brittany beat us to the restaurant. They both stood as Sidney and I approached and I couldn't help but laugh to myself watching her fuss with her hair and smooth her dress; a dress that was bordering on inappropriate for the kind of restaurant we were in.
Sidney shook Max's hand and gave the bimbo a polite kiss on the cheek. She blushed. I got the typical french greeting from Max and we took our seats. Max ordered a bottle of champagne when the waitress came by to take our drink orders.
"Champagne? Maxie, what's the occasion?" I asked.
"Nothing really, just a coming together of new friends and new loves," he winked at me. "Which one of you want to do the honours?"
Sid and I looked at each other and he knew exactly what to do.
"I guess I will," he said as the champagne arrived.
"Brittany I must apologize to you."
She looked like a deer caught in the headlights and stumbled over her words.
"M...me? Wh...why are you apologizing to me?"
"I was less than truthful with you when we first met."
"I don't understand."
"You asked me if I had a girlfriend the last time we had dinner and I'm afraid I wasn't exactly truthful."
"Oh?"
Sidney put his arm around me and you could see the colour drain from her face.
"Bekah and I have been together for a while now. We haven't told anyone except for a few close friends and family because of all the media attention it would get. Seeing as how it's my rookie year and there's been so much hype surrounding me, I have alot to prove and if the press or anyone else found out I had a girlfriend, it would be a huge distraction. Not to mention the poor boys."
"B b boys?" she stammered.
"Yes, Alex and Jake, Bekah's two boys. If our relationship became public it would completely shatter their world. Keeping their lives the same as it was before I met Bekah is the most important thing to us. I'm sure you understand the need to keep our relationship private."
For a brief moment I was almost positive her head was going to explode and I was enjoying every second of it.
"So why are you telling me?" she said when she was able to find her voice.
"Because you are Max's girlfriend and he is Bekah's best friend so we'll be spending alot of time together. Wouldn't you start to wonder why Bekah and I are always together if we didn't tell you?"
"P-r-o-b-a-b-l-y" she said very slowly.
"Well now you won't have to wonder. I trust that you will keep this information to yourself...as a personal favour to me?"
Her eyes lit up at Sidney's words. "Yes."
"Good. Thank you," he said giving her a wink for good measure, to which she giggled like a school girl. "It would be very unfortunate if word got out. With the limited number of people that know, we would know exactly who leaked the information. So, now that that's out of the way, who's hungry?"
I had never loved Sidney more than I did at that moment.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Chapter 92
It had been 4 days since I left my last message for Max. I still hadn't heard from him and I was starting to lose hope. The team was getting ready to leave for a 10 day road trip and I was extremely grumpy for both reasons. The rift between Max and I was beginning to take it's toll on my relationship with Sidney. He refused to talk to me about it anymore and it was really starting to bother me, though I couldn't tell which was annoying me more - the fact that he was giving me no information about Max whatsoever, or that my own boyfriend didn't seem to believe me either. We agreed that today, our last day together for 10, would be just the 4 of us; me, Sid and the boys - and not one word would be said about Max. We were going to pick the boys up from school, cook dinner and watch a movie - The Mighty Ducks of course! Sid had managed to transpose his obsession for those movies on to the boys too. I really needed to find a different hockey movie for these boys to watch! We were just getting ready to head out to get the boys but when I opened the door I was...stunned.
My hands clasped over my mouth and starring into those eyes after so long left me speechless. When I was able to find my words the only thing that came out was "oh my God!"
"Bonjour bijou," was his only response and I had trouble making it out. For about 30 seconds all we could do was stand and stare at each other, feeling awkward until instinct kicked in. We wrapped our arms around each other and held on for dear life. I held him so tight and so close to me I was sure I was suffocating him but at this moment I didn't care - my best friend was in my arms again and I was never letting go.
"I am so, so sorry," we both said in unison through our tears.
"I hate to interrupt but Beks, we have to go," Sidney said quietly. The look on our faces left no room for interpretation and Sid took the hint.
"I'll be back in 20," he said sneaking past us out the door.
I led Max to the couch hand in hand, afraid if I let go he'd slip away again. He looked tired; huge bags had taken up residence under his beautiful blue eyes, and if I wasn't mistaken, I'd swear he'd lost weight.
"Maxie, I am so, so sorry. I was out of line. I never should have..."
"Shhh," was the only thing he said as he pulled me into his chest. I closed my eyes and hoped that would stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I seriously didn't think I had any tears left after all the crying I'd been doing over the past month, but these were tears of happiness, so it was different.
"Mon petite bijou," he whispered placing a soft kiss on my forehead. That was all he said. We sat in silence until it was broken by the ringing of the phone.
"I'll let the machine get it," I said as he loosened his grip on me.
"It could be important," he said.
"Just for the record, nothing is more important than this right now," I replied reaching for the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's just me. I have the boys and I'm going to take them back to Mario's for dinner so you and Max can have some time together okay?"
I was happy, yet sad at the same time. "But this was supposed to be our night together before you left."
"Beks, you need this right now. You need to fix things with Max so we can all be okay. We'll be back right after dinner and we can still do the movie okay?"
"You are seriously the best boyfriend ever. I love you so much."
"I know you do. I do too ya know," he said being careful not to say anything revealing in front of the boys.
"I know. See you soon."
I hung up and turned my attention back to Max.
"Where were we," I said sitting back down next to Max. "I believe I was apologizing."
"Stop. I don't want anymore I'm sorries from you. I need to apologize to you bijou."
"But you didn't do anything. I caused this; me, not you."
"That's not true. I was stubborn and pig headed and stupid. I asked for your opinion and then got pissed off when you gave it to me."
"You had the right to be pissed off. I said awful things that I had no right saying and making judgements I had no right making. I should have trusted you and your judgement. The mere fact that you like her should have been good enough for me. I was scared and I was stupid."
"Scared? What were you scared of?"
"Losing you."
"Losing me? Ah baby, you could never lose me," he said putting his hand on my cheek.
"Really, cause what do you call the last month?"
"Stupid and ancient history. It's done and over with and I don't ever want to talk about it again."
"Just like that? You don't even want to know why?"
"I can be a very forgiving guy," he smiled. "And you just told me why. You were scared, end of story."
"You forgive me?"
"Of course bijou. I love you."
"I love you too," I said wrapping my arms around him again. "I missed you so much Max."
"Not half as much as I missed you," he whispered. "You're my best friend Beks. I need you. I have been miserable this past month and I don't ever want to go through this again."
"Me neither. I've been so miserable, even the boys are afraid to be around me, and Sid; I'm surprised he stuck around."
"The kid is not going anywhere Beks, you can trust me on that one. He loves you way too much."
"Speaking of love...since we wiped the slate clean, how 'bout you tell me how things are going with that girlfriend of yours."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. This is what best friends do."
"Okay, well things are...good I guess."
"You guess?"
"Yeah well, this last month has been tough. I haven't been really in the mood to do much so things have been moving along slowly."
"Slowly?"
"Yeah. we've had dinner a few times, gone to a couple movies, that's about it."
"Has she been to any games?"
"No, doesn't like hockey remember?"
"Right. She could still go to see you though."
"She doesn't feel comfortable going by herself and she doesn't know any of the girlfriends yet."
"Well, maybe we can convince her to come with me."
"You? Alone? With Brittany?"
"Clean slate remember? Seriously Max, I didn't give her a fair chance and if she's important to you, then it's important to me to get to know her."
"Well, yeah sure, why not!"
'Thank god he bought all this crap. And thank god he didn't ask me why I lied about hearing her on the phone. I don't know what I would have done.'
The next hour and a half flew by but over that time period, I found out that Max had not slept with Brittany yet. Some kind of record? Hell yeah. I was thrilled that he hadn't had sex with her, but at the same time, I felt a deep sadness. Max obviously really, really liked this girl if he's been hanging in there for a good two months now and he still hadn't gotten any. It just reassured me that I was right; she didn't really like him so she wasn't giving it up(brownie point for her for not being a complete puck slut I guess). But I felt sad because I knew that if he liked her that much, it was only going to hurt that much more when the truth was revealed. I guess it's a good thing he'd have his best friend there to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart.
My hands clasped over my mouth and starring into those eyes after so long left me speechless. When I was able to find my words the only thing that came out was "oh my God!"
"Bonjour bijou," was his only response and I had trouble making it out. For about 30 seconds all we could do was stand and stare at each other, feeling awkward until instinct kicked in. We wrapped our arms around each other and held on for dear life. I held him so tight and so close to me I was sure I was suffocating him but at this moment I didn't care - my best friend was in my arms again and I was never letting go.
"I am so, so sorry," we both said in unison through our tears.
"I hate to interrupt but Beks, we have to go," Sidney said quietly. The look on our faces left no room for interpretation and Sid took the hint.
"I'll be back in 20," he said sneaking past us out the door.
I led Max to the couch hand in hand, afraid if I let go he'd slip away again. He looked tired; huge bags had taken up residence under his beautiful blue eyes, and if I wasn't mistaken, I'd swear he'd lost weight.
"Maxie, I am so, so sorry. I was out of line. I never should have..."
"Shhh," was the only thing he said as he pulled me into his chest. I closed my eyes and hoped that would stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. I seriously didn't think I had any tears left after all the crying I'd been doing over the past month, but these were tears of happiness, so it was different.
"Mon petite bijou," he whispered placing a soft kiss on my forehead. That was all he said. We sat in silence until it was broken by the ringing of the phone.
"I'll let the machine get it," I said as he loosened his grip on me.
"It could be important," he said.
"Just for the record, nothing is more important than this right now," I replied reaching for the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's just me. I have the boys and I'm going to take them back to Mario's for dinner so you and Max can have some time together okay?"
I was happy, yet sad at the same time. "But this was supposed to be our night together before you left."
"Beks, you need this right now. You need to fix things with Max so we can all be okay. We'll be back right after dinner and we can still do the movie okay?"
"You are seriously the best boyfriend ever. I love you so much."
"I know you do. I do too ya know," he said being careful not to say anything revealing in front of the boys.
"I know. See you soon."
I hung up and turned my attention back to Max.
"Where were we," I said sitting back down next to Max. "I believe I was apologizing."
"Stop. I don't want anymore I'm sorries from you. I need to apologize to you bijou."
"But you didn't do anything. I caused this; me, not you."
"That's not true. I was stubborn and pig headed and stupid. I asked for your opinion and then got pissed off when you gave it to me."
"You had the right to be pissed off. I said awful things that I had no right saying and making judgements I had no right making. I should have trusted you and your judgement. The mere fact that you like her should have been good enough for me. I was scared and I was stupid."
"Scared? What were you scared of?"
"Losing you."
"Losing me? Ah baby, you could never lose me," he said putting his hand on my cheek.
"Really, cause what do you call the last month?"
"Stupid and ancient history. It's done and over with and I don't ever want to talk about it again."
"Just like that? You don't even want to know why?"
"I can be a very forgiving guy," he smiled. "And you just told me why. You were scared, end of story."
"You forgive me?"
"Of course bijou. I love you."
"I love you too," I said wrapping my arms around him again. "I missed you so much Max."
"Not half as much as I missed you," he whispered. "You're my best friend Beks. I need you. I have been miserable this past month and I don't ever want to go through this again."
"Me neither. I've been so miserable, even the boys are afraid to be around me, and Sid; I'm surprised he stuck around."
"The kid is not going anywhere Beks, you can trust me on that one. He loves you way too much."
"Speaking of love...since we wiped the slate clean, how 'bout you tell me how things are going with that girlfriend of yours."
"Seriously?"
"Yes. This is what best friends do."
"Okay, well things are...good I guess."
"You guess?"
"Yeah well, this last month has been tough. I haven't been really in the mood to do much so things have been moving along slowly."
"Slowly?"
"Yeah. we've had dinner a few times, gone to a couple movies, that's about it."
"Has she been to any games?"
"No, doesn't like hockey remember?"
"Right. She could still go to see you though."
"She doesn't feel comfortable going by herself and she doesn't know any of the girlfriends yet."
"Well, maybe we can convince her to come with me."
"You? Alone? With Brittany?"
"Clean slate remember? Seriously Max, I didn't give her a fair chance and if she's important to you, then it's important to me to get to know her."
"Well, yeah sure, why not!"
'Thank god he bought all this crap. And thank god he didn't ask me why I lied about hearing her on the phone. I don't know what I would have done.'
The next hour and a half flew by but over that time period, I found out that Max had not slept with Brittany yet. Some kind of record? Hell yeah. I was thrilled that he hadn't had sex with her, but at the same time, I felt a deep sadness. Max obviously really, really liked this girl if he's been hanging in there for a good two months now and he still hadn't gotten any. It just reassured me that I was right; she didn't really like him so she wasn't giving it up(brownie point for her for not being a complete puck slut I guess). But I felt sad because I knew that if he liked her that much, it was only going to hurt that much more when the truth was revealed. I guess it's a good thing he'd have his best friend there to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Chapter 91
Max's POV
I spent the next 10 minutes sitting in my car not being able to move. I was...I don't really know what I was. Numb? Devastated? Heartbroken? Furious? Disappointed? Hurt? Yep, all of them! That pretty much summed up how I was feeling right now. My best friend, the person I came to when I needed someone to talk to; when I needed someone to hang out with; when I needed a shoulder to cry on; when I needed someone to tell me that I was being an idiot; when I needed to feel like someone actually could love me; the only female who ever liked me for me; my best friend Bekah, just smashed my heart into a million little pieces. She was supposed to be supportive. She was supposed to like Brittany almost as much as I did and the four of us were supposed to be like the four Musketeers. Inseparable. Hang out together; go out for dinner together; all the stuff that all the other guys got to do with their girlfriends but I was never included in because I never had a "girlfriend". Sid either for that matter. Up until he met Bekah, it was always him and I that would hang out together when the guys were out together with their girlfriends, when he wasn't driving me nuts that is. I was always envious of that time the guys spent together in the "couples" groups and this was my chance to finally be part of that. Bekah and Brittany were going to be the ones to turn things around for me. Guess that was too much to ask for.
I wiped the tears that has fallen down my cheeks and drove away from my best friend's house; well my former best friends house.
I don't understand why Bekah would make up such horrible lies about Brit. She only had one dinner with her. How can you hate someone so much after only what? An hour and a half that you feel the need to say such vile things about them?
As I drove, Bekah's words just kept running through my mind. Brittany did not spend the whole night talking to Sid. Did she? And did she seriously expect me to believe that she overheard Brit on the phone telling someone she didn't like me but was gonna use me to get to Sid? I don't think so! But why would she lie about that? How would she even come up with a lie like that?
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! All I know is I feel empty because I just lost my best friend.
A month later....
"Lil, I don't know what to do anymore!" I said exasperated. "It's been a month and Max still won't talk to me. It's killing me."
"I don't know what to tell you hun," Lily said taking a sip of her coffee. "What does Sidney say?"
"Ugh, he is absolutely NO help! He just keeps telling me to give it time; that Max will come around but he's not. He won't give me any info on how Max is doing or how things are going with the bimbo, nothing! It's like he'd be breaking some damn guy code or something! It pisses me off, but I'm not going to push the issue."
"Does he believe you yet?"
"I don't think so. He's only been around them a couple of times and nothing has happened so he says. We don't really talk about it because it usually results in me crying and Sid hates to see me cry. Things have actually been soooo good between us, I don't want to screw it up."
"Good plan."
"Sometimes I get so frustrated I just want to scream. Why couldn't you have hooked up with Max way back when instead of going home with that guy from college? You could have hooked up, fallen madly in love and all this could have been avoided!"
"Yeah, cause I'm the kind of girl to settle down! Helloooo, have you ever met me?"
"I know, I know, but maybe Max would be the guy to turn you around!"
"Beks, maybe Sid's right. Maybe he just needs some more time then he'll come crawling back."
I was quiet for a minute. "Did you know that since the day we met, Max and I never went more that 12 hours without talking to each other?"
"Oh hun, I'm sorry," she said while rubbing my arm. "I wish there was something I could do."
"At this point, I don't think there's anything anyone can do."
"Have you tried calling him?"
"More times than I'd like to admit to. He won't return any of my messages."
"Have you tried apologizing?"
"Apologize! For what? I didn't do anything wrong, I told him the truth. He asked what my opinion was and I told him. I wasn't and still am not willing to stand by and let this bimbo hurt my best friend."
"I know that, and you know that, but maybe it's a way to get your foot in the door. Maybe you've been taking the wrong approach here! Just think about it...if you apologize and you guys make up, then you can start hanging out with them again."
"The last thing I want to do is spend time with that bimbo!"
"You're not seeing the big picture here Bekah. Right now you and Max aren't talking and you have no idea what's going on in their relationship and more importantly, in that little head of hers. If you apologize and make up then you're back in! You can monitor the situation and keep your eye on her and your man. What's that saying...keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"
It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. "I can't believe that I didn't think of this earlier! You are so right! I don't need to try and keep her away from him, I need to be her friend and watch her self destruct!"
"Now you're thinking!"
"Oooh, there's just one small problem with that plan, well two actually."
"What's that?"
"I need to know what Max told Brittany. If he told her what I told her about overhearing her conversation, she'll never believe that I want to be her friend."
"Good point. Maybe Sid will be willing to part with that information. What's the second problem?"
"Sidney and Max both know when I'm lying. If I'm going to pull this off, I need a performance that's Oscar worthy."
"Think about what's at stake here. Your boyfriend, your best friend; other best friend that is, and your happiness. I'm pretty sure that's enough motivation for you."
"You're right," I said picking up my phone.
"Who are you calling?"
"Sid."
"Yeah, hello?" he said breathless.
"Hey, did I catch you at a bad time?"
"No, no. I'm just getting off the bike. What's up?"
"I need to ask you something and I really need you to give me a straight answer."
"Okay, you've peaked my curiosity."
"I know you've got some guy code thing goin' on but I need to know what Max told Brittany about our fight. More specifically, I need to know if he told her that I overheard her phone conversation."
"Beks, why can't you just let this go for now?"
"Because my best friend hasn't talked to me in a month and I'm miserable. I've had enough. Someone has to put a stop to it and it's going to be me."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I'm going to apologize and hope that Max will forgive me."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you, Rebekah Katherine Jones, just say you were going to apologize?"
"Yes I did, now please, can you answer my question? Did he tell her what I said."
"He'd kill me if he knew I was talking to you about this."
"Sidney..."
"No. No he didn't tell her. He didn't want to hurt her by telling her what you supposedly overheard. But Beks, I don't know if he's ready to forgive you yet. He's really hurting still."
"So am I. Can you do me one more favour?"
"Anything for you baby."
"When he gets my message, can you maybe...encourage him to hear me out?"
"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."
"You are the best boyfriend ever ya know that?"
"Yeah I am."
"Okay, I'm going to call him right now. I love you.
"I love you too!"
'I hope this works...for all of our sakes," Sidney thought as he headed for the showers.
"It's a go," I said squeezing Lily's hand excitedly as I dialed Max's number. "Wish me luck!"
"And the Oscar goes to..." she whispered.
"Hi Max, it's me again. Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. Enough is enough! It's been a month and I am miserable. I miss you and the boys miss you. I need to talk to you. Sid won't tell me anything, but I'm assuming you're still with Brittany which would mean that clearly I was wrong. I owe you an apology but I am not going to beg my best friend for forgiveness over the phone so...the ball's in your court. Please call me. Okay, I miss you and I love you. Bye Maxie."
"Good call playing the kid card," Lily said as I snapped my phone shut. "So now what?"
"Now...we wait."
FYI
Just wanted to let you know that I edited the story a bit - not much; I just made Bekah's brother older instead of younger and gave a bit more background info. It really doesn't affect the rest of the story except something that may happen in the future (hint hint!). Re-read the beginning if you want to catch up on the revised version!
Thanks!
P.S. I hope to update tomorrow!
Thanks!
P.S. I hope to update tomorrow!
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