Mario and Troy

"Bekah's sudden exit wouldn't have anything to do with you now would it Troy?" Mario asked him in an quiet yet accusatory tone.
Troy said nothing.
"What did you say to her Troy?"
"We simply had a conversation about how much time Sidney was spending with her and those kids."
Mario looked a little confused. "Well I know that Sidney wouldn't have told you about that so..."
A coy smile appeared across Troy's lips.
"Troy, Sidney trusted me enough to tell me how he feels about her..."
"And I trusted you to keep him on the straight and narrow!"
Mario tried to keep his cool even though Troy's comment had cut him deeply. Mario loved Sid like he was one of his own kids and to be accused of not looking out for his best interests hurt him.
"Troy, you are out of line," he said calmly. "You're acting like he's out of control drinking and partying for Christ sakes. He's just...falling in love."
"LOVE??? He's a kid, he doesn't know what love is. He is certainly not going to be in love with a thirty year old woman with two kids," Troy scoffed.
"Is that what's bothering you? Is it the age difference or the fact that she has children? Amazing children I might add."
"Both. A thirty year old should not be in a relationship with a teenager! And just how is it going to look to the fans and the sponsors to be with involved with someone with kids from a previous relationship? He has a 'wholesome' image to uphold and being involved with an older woman with children is certainly not the way to do it. It could cost him his sponsors."
"Oh...my...god! That's it! You told her that didn't you?"
"I may have said something to that effect, after I asked her to stay away from him."
"You what!?!? It all makes sense now," Mario said shaking his head. "She would never agree to stay away from him unless she thought it would hurt him.You asked her to stay away from him and she said no, so you told her it would hurt his career. Man, you are some piece of work Troy!"
"I'm protecting my son."
"No, actually you're doing the exact opposite. Bekah has been a saving grace for him. Who do you think was there for him when he got the news about the Olympics? He actually went to her for comfort instead of locking himself in his room. Do you understand how HUGE that is? And she called us to let us know he was OK and sleeping on her couch. I've spent time with her too Troy, and she is an amazing girl. If anything she is a calming and steady influence in his life, not a distraction. How do you think Sid's going to react to her being ripped out of his life? How do you think it's going to look to the sponsors when he starts playing poorly because he's heartbroken?"
"Heartbroken? That's a little over dramatic don't you think? Sidney is a professional. He'll be just fine. And I'm sure he'll be over it and moving on in no time."
"If you believe that, then you really don't know your son very well."

Chapter 44

Yet another familiar scent began to tickle my nose. Could it be? I rolled over and opened one eye only to see an ugly sight staring back at me. "6:30! You've got to be kidding me," I groaned. I briefly contemplated going back to sleep but decided against it when I heard noise coming from the kitchen. I followed the wonderful aroma down the hallway.
"Good morning sunshine," Sid's cheerful voice greeted me as I entered the kitchen.
"Is it?" I groaned. "You made coffee?"
"I sure did. I didn't wake you did I? I tried to be quiet."
"You should know that the second I smell caffeine, that's it, I'm up. Are you always this chipper first thing in the morning?"
"Usually."
"You suck!"
Sid laughed. "You're not I take it?"
"I can be, but last night was...a late one," I said shyly.
"Yeeeaaahhhh...about that," he began walking towards me. "Thank you." He ran his hand through my hair, down the side of my face and let it come to rest on my shoulder. "I really needed that last night. I'm just sorry I kept you up so late. You were obviously exhausted, you didn't even change out of your scrubs!"
"Ohhh...yeah...very...tired. I crashed as soon as I hit the bed." Good cover I thought.
He bent over to give me a kiss on the cheek but was interrupted by the ring of his cell.
"This early?" I questioned.

"Hello?"
"Hey dad..."
"I'm fine wh...
"I just needed to..."
"Of course not!"

I hated only hearing one part of the conversation!

"I'll be there soon."
"FINE! and he shut the phone. He looked agitated.

"Everything okay?" I asked.
"I gotta go," he said grabbing his coat. "He flew in last night and he's pissed."
"About the Olympic thing?"
"Ahhh...no. I'll talk to you later?"
"Sure."
"Bye."
Before I could say anything back he was gone. This was not exactly the way I pictured this morning going.

****************************************

Later that afternoon, I got a text from Sid.
"Hey. Mario wants you and the boys to join him and Nat in his box tonight ok?"
"Why?"
"Not sure. Just go to gate 1 and tell them who you are."
"Ok."
"See ya after the game."

****************************************

Nathalie and Mario greeted me with a warm hug when we arrived. The boys desserted me to cause havoc with the Lemieux kids.
"Stay out of trouble!" I yelled after them.
"Oh, they're fine," Nathalie assured me.
At the end of the first period, she got up to go see where the kids has gotten to. "I'll be back," she said. It didn't take long before the seat she had been occupying beside me was filled.
"Well, well, well, Miss Jones. Nice to see you again."
I could tell from the icy tone to his voice that that was far from the truth.
"You too Mr. Crosby."
"I understand you've been spending alot of time with my son lately." It was more of a comment than a question.
"I wouldn't say alot, but we have spent some time together yes."
"Come now Miss Jones. I do my homework. I know exactly how much time Sidney spends with you...and your children."
The way he said the word 'children' was enough to make my blood boil.
"Are you spying on your son Mr. Crosby?"
"Sidney is still a young, impressionable boy. There is only so much Mario and Nathalie can do to keep him in line. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands."
I could not believe what I was hearing! The anger was building inside me with every word Troy spoke. It took every ounce of self control I had not to scream at him, but I kept my composure.
"I assure you Mr. Crosby, Sidney and I are just friends. Nothing more."
For the first time during this conversation, he actually looked at me with a smug look on his face.
"Girls are not just friends with my son, Miss Jones. And as I recall, you wanted nothing to do with Sidney just a few short months ago, so please, don't play me for a fool."
I was in shock. "Look, I don't know where you're getting your so called information from but..."
"Save it Miss Jones," Troy said in very low, calm voice. He leaned over and looked me straight in the eye. "Let me tell you the way it's going to be. I don't want you to see Sidney anymore. He has worked far too hard for far too long to blow his career to shreds in his rookie year. My job as his father is to see that he stays focused on his game and his other commitments. He has certain obligations to his sponsors, his team and his fans. He doesn't need to be distracted by you, or anyone else for that matter. Sid has a certain image to uphold. He is a role model for so many young kids, and as such, he needs to surround himself with... the right people."
That's it! Father or no father, Troy was waaaaaaaaaaay out of line. "And I'm not the 'right people', is that what you're saying?" I could feel how red my face must have been.
"I'm simply saying that you have alot of distractions that come along with you, that's all."
"You mean my children! You don't want your son spending time with a woman that has children! It's too much baggage and won't look good to the sponsors, is that what you're saying?" I asked in a voice that was rising with every word that came out of my mouth. Thank god Mario had left to find Nathalie. Troy and I were alone.
"Yes Miss Jones, that's exactly what I'm saying. Any sort of 'undesirable situation' linked to Sid, could end up costing him millions in endorsements. So I trust we have an understanding?" he turned back towards the ice.
I was shocked. I couldn't believe that Troy was trying to keep me from seeing Sid by intimidating me.
"What if we don't?"
Troy turned his head slowly towards me. "Now Miss Jones, you're a reasonable girl. I don't think we have to go there do we?"
"And what exactly am I supposed to tell Sid?"
"You're a smart girl, Miss Jones. You'll think of something. Just make sure it's believable," he paused, "I'm sorry it has to be this way, but it's what's best for Sidney. Do we have an agreement?"
Was he right? Could having a relationship with me be that detrimental to the relationships he had with his sponsors? Could I really take that risk?
"Do we have an agreement Miss Jones?" Troy asked once again.
"Yes," I said barely above a whisper.
"Good. I trust you'll end your friendship immediately."
"Can it at least wait until after Christmas?" I asked solemnly.
"Fine. But no longer."
"Agreed."
Troy got up just as Nathalie and Mario returned with all six kids in tow.
"Are you all right hon," she asked as she sat down next to me. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Hmm...fine," I replied quietly. "I think I'm just over tired. Can you tell Sid that I wasn't feeling well and I went home early?" I asked trying to keep my voice from quivering.
"Are you sure everything's okay?"
"I'm sure. Just tell Sid I'll talk to him tomorrow."
"He's flying home for Christmas after the game tonight."
"Oh," my heart sank. "Then tell him he can call me from home if he wants to. Come on boys, we have to get going."
"But mom, the game's not over yet," Alex said.
"NOW!" I said more sharply than I intended. The boys said their good-byes and headed for the door.
Nathalie and Mario exchanged looks of concern.
"Have a merry Christmas," I said looking back at Nathalie trying to hold back tears.
"You too sweetie," she said wrapping me in a warm hug.
I could feel them watching me as I prepared to leave the box. I turned and looked down at Sidney on the ice, one last time. As I was leaving I stopped beside Troy's seat and looked down at him with emptiness in my eyes.
"Have a merry Christmas Mr. Crosby," I said with no emotion in my voice.
"You too Miss Jones. You too."

Chapter 43

I had no idea how much time had passed. His breathing had gone from the short, staggered breaths to long, even and deep. He had fallen asleep in my arms. As much as I wanted to hold him all night, I knew I couldn't. I slowly pulled away and laid his head down gently on the pillow. When I was completely out from under him, he was restless for a moment but quickly settled himself on the couch. I covered him with a blanket and took a few steps back. I stood staring at him. He looked so peaceful, in many ways child-like and I felt an overwhelming calm wash over my entire body. I bent down, kissed him gently on the cheek and whispered good night. I took his phone from the coffee table, turned off the lights and went to my room. I scrolled through his contacts until I found Mario's home number and dialed.

"Hello?"
"Hi Mario? It's Bekah. I didn't wake you did I?"
"No," he said with concern evident in his voice. "Is everything OK?"
"Yes, everything's fine. I just wanted to let you know that Sid came here after the game tonight. He was pretty upset about the Olympics. He's asleep on my couch right now, so I doubt he'll be making it home tonight. I wanted to let you know so you didn't worry."
"Sid's fine, he's at Bekah's," Mario told Nathalie, and I heard her say 'Thank god!' "Thank you so much for calling Bekah. We were worried when so much time had passed after the game and he hadn't come home yet. He doesn't handle this kind of thing very well so we were concerned. How is he?"
"He's hurting, but I think he'll be okay. We talked through it and he knows he's got lots of time still, but he's still very disappointed."
"Well, this is a first. You must be a miracle worker," Mario chuckled.
"What do you mean?"
"This is not normal behaviour for Sid. When something like this happens his reaction is to shut down. He holes up in his room and doesn't talk to anyone. He's been like that well, his whole life...until now. You must have some kind of hold on the boy."
"Oh I don't think that's the case Mario. I think he's just growing up."
"You underestimate your influence over him. In any case, I'm glad he's okay and we appreciate you letting us know."
"Well I would hope that someone would do the same for me if it was one of my kids." Realizing that Sid wasn't actually one of his kids, I added "you know what I mean."
"Yes. Good night Bekah and thanks again. Take care of him okay?"
"I'll do my best. Goodnight Mario."

I went into my bathroom to get ready for bed and when I took a glimpse in the mirror, realized I was still in my scrubs. I had been in such a hurry to get to the arena I hadn't bothered to change. 'Explains some of the weird looks' I thought to myself. I brushed my teeth and headed towards my bed. As I lifted my shirt over my head, the most heavenly scent wafted into my nose. I inhaled deeply. It was Sid. The perfect combination of his natural scent, his body wash and the body spray he used after every game. I slipped the shirt back over my head and crawled into bed. 'He may not be next to me, but this is the next best thing' I thought to myself. I know it's kind of silly, but with his scent gently tickling my nose, if I closed my eyes, I could almost feel his arms around me. I held my eyes shut and let my mind wander. My thoughts drifted to him lying on my couch, so close yet so far away. For the first time in a very long time, I yearned to have someone beside me in this bed. Not just someone...him. I snuggled deeper into the covers and let his magical aroma soothe me to sleep.

Chapter 42

I did everything I could to get out of work on time but the sad fact is that disease and despair knows no schedule. I made it to the game in the middle of the second period and the scoreboard looked as grim as the look on Sidney's face. By the end of his next shift he had spotted me and a brief smile appeared on his face.
At the beginning of the third period trusty old Nate appeared at my side with a message from Sid.
"Mr. Crosby is very pleased you were able to make it this evening. He will be waiting for you in the locker room after the game. I will be back to escort you down when the game is over."
"Thank you Nate."
The game had a very dismal ending. Another loss coupled with the disappointment of today's announcement should put Sid in fine form. I made my way down to the locker room and waited...and waited...and waited. Sid finally emerged with the whole Pen's media relations team right behind him. He spent 30 minutes fielding the same kinds idiotic questions over and over: "Sid, how do you feel being left off the roster?", "Are you disappointed in today's announcement?", "Do you think they made the right decision leaving you out?" Are they fucking kidding? 'How do they think he feels you morons?', I wanted to scream at them! But Sid handled himself beautifully, like usual and was very gracious to every stupid person who asked every stupid question. He kept his voice calm and even and tried not to let his emotion show. I watched him in complete awe, so proud of his maturity and demeanor. After 30 minutes one of the 'suits' that had been ever present at his side told the press Sid was done with the questions for tonight. When the last reporter had left the room, one of the men said a few words to Sid that I couldn't hear and then they were gone too. Sid walked towards me, grabbed my hand and simply said, "let's go."
I wasn't sure what to say, so I didn't say anything. When we reached the parking lot (Sid had gotten me a pass to park in the same lot as the players) he just looked and me and said, "Your place. You're driving." we both got in my car and I just drove. I didn't ask him how or when he was going to get back to his car, nor did I ask him how long he intended to stay at my house. We drove in silence. Sid stared out his window and the only movement he made was to turn the radio up when a Bon Jovi song came on. Weird.
When we reached my house, we went in and Sid plopped himself down on the couch. Lily had been watching the boys and gave me a questioning look when she saw that Sid had accompanied me home. I just looked at her and shook my head. She took the cue and simply said goodnight to us both. 'I'll call you tomorrow', she mouthed silently before she left.
Sid had his hands behind his head, which was leaning all the way back and his eyes were closed. I sat down beside him, cross legged facing him and he still didn't open his eyes. We still had not spoken a word so I decided on a different approach to let him know that I was there whenever he was ready to talk. I put my hand on his leg and rubbed slowly in a circular motion. He dropped his arms from behind his head and held my right hand that had been caressing his leg, giving it a firm squeeze. He still did not open his eyes. My heart was breaking for him and it hurt to see him so upset. My nurturing instinct kicked in and I did the same thing I did when the boys were upset. I ran my fingers through his hair and gently stroked his budding curls over and over. I can't even tell you how long this went on in complete silence. The only thing I could hear was the sound of his deep rhythmic breathing. I was beginning to think he fell asleep when he sat up a bit a looked at me. I could see the tears in his eyes just waiting to fall.
"After all the shit that's been going on lately, I thought this would be the one thing I could look forward to. I know I have a whole future ahead of me to play for Team Canada and I really tried not to get my hopes up and expect anything, but it just...it just really hurts ya know?", his voice was barely above a whisper.
I pulled him into my arms and he rested his head against my chest. I held his head, still caressing his curls. I kissed the top of his head and just let him take it all in.
"It just hurts. It hurts so much." He repeated these words over and over until his breathing was short and staggered and his voice began to waver. He was crying.
"I know honey," I whispered to him. "I know it hurts right now, but we'll get through it, I promise."

Chapter 41

"You must be sick of this by now," I said sitting up and wiping my eyes with a tissue.
"Sick of what?"
"Me crying. It seems to be all I do around you. I'm sorry, it's just tough ya know? I love my job, but sometimes it really gets to you. You can't show your emotion there so you keep it bottled up inside and eventually you blow."
"I honestly don't know how you do it Beks," he said softly. "How can you stand being around the sickness and death all the time, especially when it's kids?"
"Not to sound heartless, but it's something you become accustomed to. You never get used to it but you deal. On particularly hard days, like today, I come home and cry. Then thank God that my boys are happy and healthy."

I told him about Dylan and how this tiny angel had immediately stole my heart. There was something special about this little boy. We had instantly bonded, and I felt the same way about his parents. I was optimistic that Dylan's cancer was caught in time and he would have a good chance of survival. But I also knew not to get my hopes up.

"It's late, you're exhausted and I have to get up early tomorrow. It's kind of a big day."
"What's happening tomorrow?" I asked in complete oblivion.
He looked at me with slight disappointment on his face. "They're announcing the Olympic team," he said shyly.
"Oh Sid, I completely forgot that was tomorrow! I'm so sorry."
"No big deal."
"It is a HUGE deal! Are you nervous?"
"Not really. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. There are so many great players to choose from."
"Yeah, and you are one of them! You're better than great, you're...you're Sidney friggin' Crosby!"
"But I thought there was nothing special about Sidney Crosby?" he retorted snidely.
"Not funny," I replied dryly. "I thought we were over that?"
"I gotta rub it in every now and then. You're coming to the game tomorrow night right? You can meet me in the locker room after the game and maybe we'll have something to celebrate."
"I'm not sure. I may be working late."
"But you never miss a game! I thought you were working day shifts until after the holidays?"
"I am, but there's alot of overtime this time of year. When are they making the announcement?"
"Sometime around five I think."
"Well, call me as soon as you find out, after you call your parents of course!"
"I will. Well, I should head home. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Sid," I said gently grabbing his arm. "Thanks again...for everything, but especially for hanging out with the boys today. I appreciate it more than you know."
"Any time Beks. I adore those boys."
"I'm pretty sure the feeling's mutual!"
He smiled. "Goodnight beautiful. Sweet dreams." He kissed my forehead and headed for his car.

*********************************************

The next day seemed to go by at a snail's pace. I was anxious to hear that Sidney would be going to Turin to represent our country. I was in one of the family rooms with Dylan and his parents when I finally heard. Scott was watching Sportscentre and I instantly dropped everything to watch. 26 names were read, not one of them was Sid's.
"He's going to be devastated," I said shaking my head in disbelief.
"Who?" Scott looked at me puzzled.
"Sidney," I replied simply.
"Sidney...Crosby?"
"Yeah. He was really hoping he was going to be on that team."
"You know Sidney Crosby?"
"Mmm hmm. We're friends." Scott was just about to question me further but my cell phone alerted me to a new text message.
"Excuse me for a second," I said getting up and going out into the hallway. His message was short and right
to the point... "Be here tonight. I need you. Sid"
I knew that no matter what else happened today, I needed to be at that game tonight. It was my turn to be there for him when he needed me. And that's exactly what I intended to do.

Chapter 40

I got home shortly after 10:00 and found Sid stretched out on my couch, feet up on the coffee table watching a Mighty Ducks movie. I flopped down beside him, put my feet up, closed my eyes and let out a huge sigh.
With my eyes still closed I said, "Mmmm, it smells really good in here."
"We had spaghetti for dinner. You hungry? I saved you some, I can warm it up for you."
Who was this guy that has possessed the body of Sidney Crosby???
"You made spaghetti for dinner?" I asked opening one eye to look at him.
"Yes I did, and it was pretty tasty if I do say so myself! Do you want some?"
"Ugh," I groaned. "I appreciate it, but I don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. I have a massive tension headache."
Sid sat up and angled himself towards me. "Come here," he said.
"What? Why?"
"Just come here and turn around."
I obliged. I sat with my back towards him and felt the familiar touch of his strong hands on my shoulders. Massaging gently at first, then a little harder. I let out a grateful moan.
"How's that?"
"Don't stop."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I replied with my eyes still closed. "I'd rather hear about your day. How did everything go?"
"Good. We went to Mario's and had lunch with them. Steph whipped Alex's butt at NHL 05 and then we went outside and had a massive snowball fight which I am ashamed to say Jake, Austin, Alexa and Mario won, and then we had a skate on the rink. After that we came back here and had dinner and watched a movie. The boys are fed, bathed and sleeping. No catastrophes and all limbs in tact!"
"I'm impressed Crosby. You made it through a whole day with my kids and you have no battle wounds! Sounds like a great day. I didn't realize you were so...domestic."
"I didn't either! They're amazing kids. So easy to be around."
"I wish my day went as smooth."
"It might help to talk about it."

I thought back to earlier when I first met little Dylan MacDonald and his parents Scott and Gloria. Dylan was as cute as could be, big brown eyes with eyelashes that would make any girl jealous, and patches of blond, fuzzy hair that would soon disappear with the chemo he was about to endure. Nancy had been right about mom and dad. Every time there was a new form to fill out or another test to take or another doctor poking and prodding at her little angel, she would weep uncontrollably and he would rub her back with a blank look on his face, almost like it had become second nature.
I spent the majority of the day just talking them through everything that was happening and explaining what they could expect over the next little while. I got them set up at the Ronald McDonald house that out of town families with sick children stayed at while their kids were receiving treatment.
With each new thing they had to tackle dad remained silent while mom repeated "Why God? Why did this happen to us? Why our boy?" over and over. When Dylan was finally sleeping after a battery of tests, I stayed at his bedside with Scott and Gloria.
"Why did this have to happen to us?" Gloria asked shaking her head still in disbelief. "It's just not fair!"
"Unfortunately, life is not fair," I said tenderly. "If it was, I wouldn't have a job. But I strongly believe that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle."
Scott's head shot straight up and the anger in his eyes was actually a little frightening.
"What the hell do you know? What kind of God would give a baby such a horrible disease?" he snarled at me. "Has your child ever died from cancer?"
The first words he spoke all day and they were full of venom.
"Not my child, my brother. When he was 10," I replied quietly.
Scott looked surprised and Gloria looked strangely relieved. I told them the whole story about David, including how my parents didn't handle it very well and I had to be the one who was strong for him at the tender age of 13.
"It may not be the exact same thing, but I do know the pain and anger you're both feeling. It will probably never completely go away. But your little boy needs you both to be strong and positive to get him through this. I know it doesn't seem like you have it in you, but believe me, the strength is in there, you just have to free it and that means pushing the anger away and focusing on the positives."
"How can there be anything positive about an innocent child having such a horrible disease?" Gloria asked me.
"Small things, like they caught it fairly early. Dylan is only in stage 2. David was already stage 4 when he was diagnosed. He has a good chance that chemo will help. And so many more people donate bone marrow today then when David was battling. Every day Dylan is here is a positive."
"How did you get over the loss?" Scott asked.
"I didn't. You never get over a loss like that, but you do find ways to get through it and move on. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and miss him, but I turned my experience into a positive by becoming a nurse so I could help other families. That's how I chose to honour David's memory.
"Well I'm very glad you did. I don't know how we would have gotten through today without you. I think your brother would be proud."

"Beks, you still with me?"
I looked at Sid and just started to cry. Gloria's words were echoing in my head. Would he be proud of me?
"Come here beautiful," Sid said so tenderly as he pulled me towards him. He leaned back and let me collapse in his arms. My head rested just under his chin on his chest. He kissed my forehead and gently stroked my hair. He passed me the box of tissues from the end table beside him.
"Let it out baby," he whispered. "Just let it out. We have all night."

Sid's POV - The Male Bonding Experience

"So, what do you guys want to do today?" I asked.
"Can we go tobogganing?" Jake asked. "No, how about we go skating?" Alex said. "Can we go to Mario's?" Jake added. "Let's go to the arcade!" Alex exclaimed.
"Ok, ok, ok!" I said shaking my head. "Let's make a deal. I have one thing that I want to do with you guys, then each of you can pick one thing that you want to do. Sound fair?"
"What's your one thing?" Alex asked cautiously.
"We are going to the mall."
"I hate the mall!"
"Me too!" Jake decided.
"We won't be very long, I promise. The quicker we get there, the quicker we can do what you guys want to do, so go get your coats and lets hustle!"

*********************************************

"What are we doing here anyways?" asked Alex.
"We are buying a Christmas present," I replied.
"For who?" was Jake's question.
"For your mom."
"Why?" they both asked at the same time.
"Well, Santa brings you guys presents right? And your mom always gives you presents too right?"
"Yep."
"Who gives your mom presents?"
The boys just looked at each other with puzzled looks on their faces.
"Don't you think it would be nice if you guys gave her a present this year?"
"Yeah, but we don't have any money," Jake said in a rather sad tone.
"You don't have to worry about that. You guys just worry about picking out something she'd like. Here we are."
We looked in all the display cases and finally decided on the perfect gift. Alex picked out a heart shaped pendant with three diamonds in it and Jake picked one that said #1 MOM. I had the girl put them in separate boxes so each one had their own gift to give her. When the boys weren't looking I added a pair of diamond and Sapphire earrings. The sapphires reminded me of her eyes when she was angry, and besides, Bekah needed a present from Santa too!
Satisfied with our purchases we headed to Mario's.
"Hey guys," Nathalie said as we walked through the door. "I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon," she said looking at me questioningly. "The kids are in the family room watching a movie if you want to join them."
"Thanks!" both boys said and head off down the stairs. A few seconds later we heard squeals of delight from all the kids.
"Where's Bekah?" Nathalie asked as Mario came into the kitchen.
"Is that Alex and Jake down there with the kids?" he asked a little confused.
"Yes. Bekah's at work and I'm watching the kids for the day."
Nathalie and Mario looked at each other with knowing looks.
"Spending a whole day alone with her kids, that's kind of a big step isn't it?" Mario asked.
"Before you guys jump to any big conclusions, we are just friends."
Again they looked at each other and just smiled. They both had that 'yeah right' look on their faces.
"I'm serious. I just offered to hang out with them today so they didn't have to go the the old people's house next door."
"If you say so," Mario chuckled.
"Oh leave him alone Mario. If he says they're just friends, then they're just friends."
All three of us knew that I wanted it to be more.
"Nat, can you do me a favour?"
"Does it involve watching these boys for the rest of the day?"
"No. Can you wrap these for me? I suck at wrapping presents."
"Would these happen to be for a very pretty nurse over at the hospital?" she asked with a big grin on her face.
"They would. One is from Alex, one is from Jake and one is from Santa."
"I'll do that right now so you can take them with you."
"You're the best Nat."
"Come on Sid, you can help me make the kids lunch," he said putting his arm around my shoulders.

We all had grilled cheese for lunch and then went outside and had a snowball fight. The kids skated on the rink Mario had made on top of the tennis court. About 4:30 I decided to head back to Bekah's house and make the boys some dinner.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay here?" Nathalie asked. "You don't exactly have the most stellar cooking skills Sidney."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I'm sure we'll be fine. Thanks for the gift wrapping, I appreciate it. Alex, Jake, time to go!"
We were just pulling out of the driveway when my cell rang.
"Hello?"
"Oh my god! Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you all afternoon! Is everything ok? Where are the boys?"
"Slow down Beks! One thing at a time. Everything's fine. The boys are good. We're just leaving Mario's. I left my cell in the car."
"Mario's? You took them to Mario's? You didn't say anything about leaving the house with them."
"Sorry, it was a spare of the moment kind of thing. We're heading back to your place now for some dinner. How's your day going?"
"Better now that I know everything is ok. I was worried Sid."
"I'm sorry."
"How's everything? They're not giving you a hard time are they?"
"No, they've been great. We've skated and had a massive snowball fight, it's all good."
"Well, my day is not so fantastic. Looks like I won't be out of here until about 9:00."
"No worries. We'll be waiting."

When we got back to the house I made us spaghetti for dinner. Alex said it was their favourite and it's about the only thing I can make. I saved some for Bekah for when she got home. The boys had their baths and got their p.j.s on while I cleaned up from dinner. We settled in to watch a movie - The Mighty Ducks! Jake fell asleep before it was over, so I carried him to bed and tucked him in just like I had with Alex the night before. When it came time for Alex to go to bed, I tucked him in too.
"Hey Sid?"
"Yeah bud?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Are you?...Are you...?Like..."
"Spit it out Alex."
"Are you and my mom like...boyfriend and girlfriend?
WOW! Wasn't expecting that one!
"No, your mom and I are just good friends."
"Oh," Alex said all deflated. "But you like her right?"
"Yes, I like her alot."
"Do you love her?"
"Well, love is a very strong word."
"Mom says if you love someone you should tell them every day. She says life is too short and if you love someone, you should make sure they know how you feel."
"That's very good advice. Does your mom tell you she loves you everyday?"
"Only like a hundred times a day! So I was thinking, if you love my mom, you should just tell her."
"I'll keep that it mind, but for now we will just be friends.
"I think you should be her boyfriend."
"Why's that?"
"Because you make her smile and laugh. She is sad alot of the time, so it's nice when she's happy. Besides, if you were her boyfriend we could hang out like all the time. Well, at least when you're not playing hockey!"
"I guess we'll just have to see what happens."
"Okay. Thanks very much for today. It was alot more fun with you then going over to the Parker's."
"I had fun too! We'll have to do it again soon. Remember, keep those presents hidden until Christmas morning, then you can give them to her."
"Will do," Alex said with a great big yawn. "Hey Sid?"
"Yes Alex," I said turning off the light.
"Love you."
"Ahh, thanks bud. I love you too."

Chapter 39

I woke up at 7 the next morning feeling refreshed and completely relaxed, both feelings I hadn't felt in a very long time. I went to check on the boys and both of them were in the exact same positions that Sidney and I had left them in the night before. I went to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on, then headed for the shower. As I was drying off I heard the phone ring and my heart instantly sank (an instinctual reaction when the phone rings at odd hours). I wrapped the towel around myself and ran for the phone.
"Hello?"
"Bekah, it's Nancy. I didn't wake you did I?"
"Oh no, I was just getting out of the shower."
"Well I won't keep you long, I was just calling to let you know that we need you at Children's today instead of
Presbyterian. We have a one year old boy being admitted and his parents are not handling the situation very well. You are the best nurse there is at dealing with the distraught families so we thought it would be best if you were here. Cheryl has already covered your shift at Pres."
"What is his diagnosis?"
Nancy paused and let out a long sigh before replying. She knew the reason I had become a nurse was because of David's battle with cancer.
"Leukemia. Stage 2 progression."
David's disease. "I see. And the parents?"
"Dad is in complete denial and all mom does is cry. You're really going to need to work your magic with these ones Bekah. Are you all right with this?"
"I'll be fine. I'll see you at 11."

'Great', I thought as I hung up the phone. My good mood just turned more bleak. This was the worst part of the job. I loved working with the families to help them through the process, but seeing the innocent children suffering through these horrible diseases broke my heart. I also knew that getting a new family settled was not a job that fit into a specific time period. There was now no guarantee of what time I might be home tonight.

*******************************************

True to form, Sidney showed up just before 10.

"Hey beautiful! You're rockin' the purple scrubs today eh?"

'He's one to talk', I thought to myself as he sat down at the counter. He was wearing black Reebok warm up pants and a red hooded sweatshirt (also Reebok). The beginnings of his black curls peeked out from under the black Reebok hat he was wearing and I noticed for once there was no product in his hair. 'Much better. He looks pretty damn good rockin' the more casual look!'

"Umm slight change of plans," I said snapping out of my thoughts.
"That doesn't sound good. What's up?" Sid asked.
"I have to go to Children's today instead of Presbyterian," I began. "There's a new patient being admitted and they need me to deal with his family. They're understandably not handling his diagnosis very well."
"And they need you specifically?"
"They seem to think that I'm the best to deal with difficult families because of my personal experiences."
"Well, I guess it's kind of an honour then huh?"
"If you choose to call it that. I wish I didn't have the experience."
"Sorry, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just think it's pretty impressive that you've turned such a painful experience into something positive for so many other people. You're pretty remarkable Beks."
"Not really, I just try and do my job."
"So, how does this change the plan anyways?"
"There's no set time table when you're admitting a new family. You kind of have to be there as long as they need you to be, at least I like to be, so I can't really tell you what time I'll be home tonight."
"Not a problem! I'll be fine until you get home."
"Are you sure 'cause the boys can still go over to the Parker's if it's too much for you. It could be late when I get back?"
"We'll be fine. I got it all under control," he said smirking.
"That's what I'm afraid of!"
Sid held his hand up to his heart like he'd been wounded. "That hurt!"
Just then Alex and Jake came running into the kitchen and immediately tackled Sidney to the ground. "Sid!!!! What are you doing here?"
"Hey guys," Sid said getting up to his feet with Jake over his shoulder and Alex wrapped around a leg. "I am going to hang out with you today while your mom goes to work if that's ok with you?"
"Seriously?" they both looked at me with pleading eyes. "We don't have to go to Mrs. Parker's today?"
"Not today," I said.
"Yes! Whoo hoo!" they both ran around the livingroom high-fiving each other before they finally settled onto the couch to watch cartoons.
"Looks like we just made their day," Sid said smiling at me.
"Looks like. Okay, ready for the run down?" I asked him.
"Do I need to write this down Drill Sargent?"
"No smart ass, I'm sure you're capable of remembering all by yourself! Okay, so they are not to watch t.v. or play video games for the whole day. An hour or two is okay but then they need to take a break. I'm big on them reading books or playing games. Jake has a ton of Lego and will probably sit in his room for hours and build stuff. Alex will surely try to talk you into letting him go on the computer so he can chat with his friends. An hour is okay, but check on him often. If you see anything inappropriate kick him off. They are capable of making their own lunch and as for dinner, I don't know. Give them Kraft Dinner or something. You do know how to make Kraft Dinner don't you?"
"I think I can figure it out."
"Don't worry Sid. I'll show you," Alex piped up.
"No junk food. There are snacks in the cupboard by the fridge that they can choose from for their snack before bed. Hopefully I'll be home before then. Just in case I'm not, Jake goes to bed at 8:30 and Alex at 9:00. They can watch an hour of t.v. before bed and you'll have to remind them to brush their teeth. The phone number and my extension number is on the fridge along with the Parker's number. If you need anything, don't be afraid to call them. I think that covers everything."
"I think I should of wrote this down," Sid said chuckling.
"It's too much for you isn't it? They can still go next door and..."
"Beks, I was kidding. We'll be fine I promise."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Now go to work and be a rock star!"
"I'll call to check on you. And I'll let you know what time I'm going to be home as soon as I know."
"No worries. We'll be fine. Now go!"
"If you're sure. Boys come here. Now, behave yourselves while I'm gone. Sid knows all the rules so don't try any funny stuff. And listen to what he tells you, got it?"
"Yep," they said in unison. I gave them both a hug and kiss and grabbed my coat and work bag.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked him one last time.
"I'm sure. If something happens the number's 9-1-1 right?"
"Not funny," I said walking to my car.
"Oh come on, it's a little funny," Sid yelled after me.
"I'll call you later."