We got back to my house at 2:45. Sid helped me carry in all the bags containing the presents I had bought for the boys, Lily, the doctor who's name I'd gotten in the secret Santa draw and of course myself too! He collapsed on the chair by the front door with a look of sheer exhaustion on his face.
"What's the matter Crosby...tired?" I asked with a smirk.
"Nope, I could go for hours yet," he said leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
"Great! 'Cause now we have to hide it all!"
"Ugh, where? Do you have room for all this stuff?"
"Might I remind you that you are the one responsible for the majority of this stuff! If it wasn't for you, I would not have bought half this stuff!!"
That cheeky grin appeared across his lips and he got a devilish look in his eyes.
"Yeah, but the kids are going to have fun Christmas morning!"
I led him to the basement and the secret hiding spot under the stairs. We packed it full and then he spotted all the boxes labelled 'Xmas decorations'.
"Wouldn't they be more decorative if they were actually out?" he laughed.
"I know," I said shaking my head in disgust at myself. "The boys have been all over me because the tree isn't up yet. I am sooooo late this year! That's our Thanksgiving tradition. We watch the football games and then decorate the tree after dinner. I've just been so busy with work I haven't thought about it much, but that is my goal for tonight."
"Football fans huh?'
"Yep, Cowboys baby!"
"You should be banned from this city for being a Dallas fan!"
"I can't help it. Troy Aikman stole my heart his rookie year and I've been a fan ever since, even after he retired I've stayed loyal to the team. I am no fairweather fan."
"Well, there's no accounting for some people's taste."
"I know eh? Like all these crazy Sidney Crosby fans! I really don't see what the big deal is."
"Ahhhhhh, memories of when we met!"
"I didn't know you were so sentimental!"
We both laughed at each other.
When we were back upstairs I looked at the clock and realized I needed to go pick Alex and Jake up from school.
"Well I hate for your day of power shopping to come to an end, but I have to go get the boys and I'm sure you have things to do. I really appreciate your help... and everything else for that matter, but I guess you should go."
"Or, I could just...stay?
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sidney's POV
It's all I can do do keep my eyes on the road and not on her. I was totally taken by surprise when she opened the door this morning. I'd never realized I hadn't seen her in 'real' clothes. She was so beautiful and she didn't even know it. I could tell it made her uncomfortable when I complimented her. Oh well, she'd better get used to it!
I snuck a peek at her sitting beside me looking out the window. I smiled to myself when I thought about the exchange we had just had at the arena. She could be so feisty and defensive at times and I loved every second of it! It's not like we were really fighting, it was more like a battle of wills with neither of us willing to concede. It was so exhilarating to be with her. It didn't matter that our relationship was not headed in the direction I wanted...yet. Mario had reminded me that starting out as friends could only be beneficial. You get to know everything about the other person; their likes, dislikes, true personality because they're not constantly trying to impress you, and most importantly, all the little quirks that drive you crazy and only come out after it's too late! You also learn if it's even possible to take the relationship to the next level. That's how he and Nathalie started out and it's turned out pretty well for them!
She looked at me and caught me staring at her. Instead of looking away like she usually would she held my gaze. Is it possible that those beautiful eyes got even more blue? They looked like little crystal clear lakes that I could see my own reflection in. Neither of us said a word yet the silence was not awkward. She gave me a little angelic smile before turning back to look out her window.
She's killing me and she's not even aware of the effect she has on me! I wanted to pull the car over and kiss those luscious lips! Snap out of it Crosby! You don't want to blow it now. You're making progress breaking down those walls. Be patient. Yeah right!
"Ready to shop Crosby?" I loved it when she used my last name!
"Sure am," I replied pulling into a parking spot.
"Good thing you wore your Reeboks 'cause you're gonna need them to keep up!"
I snuck a peek at her sitting beside me looking out the window. I smiled to myself when I thought about the exchange we had just had at the arena. She could be so feisty and defensive at times and I loved every second of it! It's not like we were really fighting, it was more like a battle of wills with neither of us willing to concede. It was so exhilarating to be with her. It didn't matter that our relationship was not headed in the direction I wanted...yet. Mario had reminded me that starting out as friends could only be beneficial. You get to know everything about the other person; their likes, dislikes, true personality because they're not constantly trying to impress you, and most importantly, all the little quirks that drive you crazy and only come out after it's too late! You also learn if it's even possible to take the relationship to the next level. That's how he and Nathalie started out and it's turned out pretty well for them!
She looked at me and caught me staring at her. Instead of looking away like she usually would she held my gaze. Is it possible that those beautiful eyes got even more blue? They looked like little crystal clear lakes that I could see my own reflection in. Neither of us said a word yet the silence was not awkward. She gave me a little angelic smile before turning back to look out her window.
She's killing me and she's not even aware of the effect she has on me! I wanted to pull the car over and kiss those luscious lips! Snap out of it Crosby! You don't want to blow it now. You're making progress breaking down those walls. Be patient. Yeah right!
"Ready to shop Crosby?" I loved it when she used my last name!
"Sure am," I replied pulling into a parking spot.
"Good thing you wore your Reeboks 'cause you're gonna need them to keep up!"
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Chapter 27
"Umm Sid, I hate to tell you this, but this is not the way to the mall. I knew I should've drove!"
"Listen smart ass, we have to make one stop before the mall."
"I have no time for stopping, I only have until 3 o'clock, I have to power shop."
"Will you relax. This will hopefully help out with your shopping."
Now my curiosity was peaked. "So where are we going?"
"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise."
"Well, the first thing you should know as my friend is that I HATE surprises."
'What? Who hates surprises?"
"Me."
"You are not normal."
"I did not sign up for insults and if that's going to be the case, you can turn around right now and take me home," I said trying to be all angry and demanding.
Sid just laughed at me. "You're pretty cute when you're trying to be a little control freak."
"I am NOT a control freak! And for the record, women don't really like to be called 'cute', it's condescending. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend!"
"Ooooohhhh. You are feisty when you don't get your own way! And for the record, we both know that my choice of words is not why I don't have a girlfriend," he said taking a more serious tone with me.
Ouch, that hurt! I decided to change the subject.
"So how's Mario doing since going home from the hospital? Is he taking all his meds?"
"Slick Beks, real slick."
"Whatever are you talking about?" I asked innocently.
Sid just shook his head and smirked. "He's doing pretty well, taking it easy and yes nurse Jones, he's taking his meds."
"Good. Umm, why are we at the Igloo?"
"This is the stop we needed to make." Sid parked the Range Rover and got out to open the door for me. I got out with some hesitation.
"Chop chop, we don't have all day!"
"Very funny. What are we doing here?"
"Can you just go with the flow please? You're spoiling all the fun."
"Fine."
He greeted the security guard at the player's entrance and proceeded to lead me down a series of hallways and dark corridors. I didn't say anything until we passed the same pole twice.
"Sid, where are we going? We've passed this spot already."
"I know. It's my route."
"You're route?"
"It's kind of a superstition thing. I have to take the same way through the arena every time I'm here."
"Yeah, and I'm the freak?"
Sid led me into the smaller lounge that I had waited for him in the night he had met Jake. I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I surveyed the room.
"Bekah, this is Rick Hunter from Reebok."
"Nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand.
"The pleasure is mine," he said. "I understand you have a couple of boys we need to outfit with some new gear."
Rick led me through the entire room filled with every different piece of equipment in every single style Reebok had ever produced, explaining it all as he went. As we reached the end I felt Sid stand close behind me, almost like a shadow.
"Now, this stuff right here is the equipment I use, only smaller," he smiled.
"Obviously."
"So, now that you've seen everything, pick. Whatever the boys need, it's yours."
I looked over at Rick and he just smiled and nodded.
"Will you excuse us for a minute Mr. Hunter? I need to speak to Sidney alone."
"Sure. I'll just be outside," he said after exchanging knowing glances with Sid.
"What are you doing?"
"You said the boys wanted new gear for Christmas and that you didn't know much about it so I thought you might as well learn from one of the best. Rick is the best. Now hurry up and pick so we can get you to the mall before you go into withdrawal!"
"Sidney, being cute is not going to smooth this over. This is too much. I said they wanted new stuff not the whole god damn Reebok factory! Besides, I can't..."
"Before you say you can't afford it, this is a gift from Reebok. What good is it to be a spokesperson if you don't get any perks?"
"I can afford to buy my kids hockey equipment and the implication that I can't is quite insulting. If you're trying to be a big hero and bail the poor single mother out, don't bother!"
"Bekah, I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to imply anything, I just didn't want you to use money as an excuse. I am not doing this for you because you need me to, I'm doing it because I want to."
He moved closer to me and put his hands on my arms. The warmth ran through my entire body instantly. His eyes were set intently on mine.
"I know how hard you've worked for the life you're giving those boys. You have done it all by yourself without accepting anything from anybody and that is something to be proud of. I've worked hard for the life that I have too. And part of it is being able to do things like this for the people I care about, so can we please pick out the gear and get on with our shopping trip?"
How could I say no to those eyes, that face, that logic? We got everything the boys needed from neck guards to skates and of course it had to be the same as what Sid had. Rick said he would have everything wrapped up and sent to Sid so he could deliver it to me when the boys weren't home. I thanked him very much before we left.
"And thank you too Crosby," I said with quiet sincerity. "The boys are going to be so excited!"
"That is the goal. Now are you ready to head to the mall?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good. And Beks?"
"Yeah?"
"For the record, men don't like being referred to as 'cute' either."
"Listen smart ass, we have to make one stop before the mall."
"I have no time for stopping, I only have until 3 o'clock, I have to power shop."
"Will you relax. This will hopefully help out with your shopping."
Now my curiosity was peaked. "So where are we going?"
"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise."
"Well, the first thing you should know as my friend is that I HATE surprises."
'What? Who hates surprises?"
"Me."
"You are not normal."
"I did not sign up for insults and if that's going to be the case, you can turn around right now and take me home," I said trying to be all angry and demanding.
Sid just laughed at me. "You're pretty cute when you're trying to be a little control freak."
"I am NOT a control freak! And for the record, women don't really like to be called 'cute', it's condescending. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend!"
"Ooooohhhh. You are feisty when you don't get your own way! And for the record, we both know that my choice of words is not why I don't have a girlfriend," he said taking a more serious tone with me.
Ouch, that hurt! I decided to change the subject.
"So how's Mario doing since going home from the hospital? Is he taking all his meds?"
"Slick Beks, real slick."
"Whatever are you talking about?" I asked innocently.
Sid just shook his head and smirked. "He's doing pretty well, taking it easy and yes nurse Jones, he's taking his meds."
"Good. Umm, why are we at the Igloo?"
"This is the stop we needed to make." Sid parked the Range Rover and got out to open the door for me. I got out with some hesitation.
"Chop chop, we don't have all day!"
"Very funny. What are we doing here?"
"Can you just go with the flow please? You're spoiling all the fun."
"Fine."
He greeted the security guard at the player's entrance and proceeded to lead me down a series of hallways and dark corridors. I didn't say anything until we passed the same pole twice.
"Sid, where are we going? We've passed this spot already."
"I know. It's my route."
"You're route?"
"It's kind of a superstition thing. I have to take the same way through the arena every time I'm here."
"Yeah, and I'm the freak?"
Sid led me into the smaller lounge that I had waited for him in the night he had met Jake. I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I surveyed the room.
"Bekah, this is Rick Hunter from Reebok."
"Nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand.
"The pleasure is mine," he said. "I understand you have a couple of boys we need to outfit with some new gear."
Rick led me through the entire room filled with every different piece of equipment in every single style Reebok had ever produced, explaining it all as he went. As we reached the end I felt Sid stand close behind me, almost like a shadow.
"Now, this stuff right here is the equipment I use, only smaller," he smiled.
"Obviously."
"So, now that you've seen everything, pick. Whatever the boys need, it's yours."
I looked over at Rick and he just smiled and nodded.
"Will you excuse us for a minute Mr. Hunter? I need to speak to Sidney alone."
"Sure. I'll just be outside," he said after exchanging knowing glances with Sid.
"What are you doing?"
"You said the boys wanted new gear for Christmas and that you didn't know much about it so I thought you might as well learn from one of the best. Rick is the best. Now hurry up and pick so we can get you to the mall before you go into withdrawal!"
"Sidney, being cute is not going to smooth this over. This is too much. I said they wanted new stuff not the whole god damn Reebok factory! Besides, I can't..."
"Before you say you can't afford it, this is a gift from Reebok. What good is it to be a spokesperson if you don't get any perks?"
"I can afford to buy my kids hockey equipment and the implication that I can't is quite insulting. If you're trying to be a big hero and bail the poor single mother out, don't bother!"
"Bekah, I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to imply anything, I just didn't want you to use money as an excuse. I am not doing this for you because you need me to, I'm doing it because I want to."
He moved closer to me and put his hands on my arms. The warmth ran through my entire body instantly. His eyes were set intently on mine.
"I know how hard you've worked for the life you're giving those boys. You have done it all by yourself without accepting anything from anybody and that is something to be proud of. I've worked hard for the life that I have too. And part of it is being able to do things like this for the people I care about, so can we please pick out the gear and get on with our shopping trip?"
How could I say no to those eyes, that face, that logic? We got everything the boys needed from neck guards to skates and of course it had to be the same as what Sid had. Rick said he would have everything wrapped up and sent to Sid so he could deliver it to me when the boys weren't home. I thanked him very much before we left.
"And thank you too Crosby," I said with quiet sincerity. "The boys are going to be so excited!"
"That is the goal. Now are you ready to head to the mall?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good. And Beks?"
"Yeah?"
"For the record, men don't like being referred to as 'cute' either."
Monday, August 4, 2008
Chapter 26
I busied myself cleaning up the breakfast dishes, lost in the conversation I just had with Alex. 9:25 am a knock at the door snapped me back into reality. Sidney hated to be late and as usual he was right on time. I opened the door and feasted my eyes upon the most gorgeous man I had ever seen holding two boxes with big red bows on them. Something was different about him today, I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.
"WOW! You look fantastic! I was beginning to wonder if you owned anything but scrubs and that ratty old #66 jersey you always wear!"
I could feel myself blushing at his comments. "Thanks, you clean up pretty good yourself mister. What is all this," I asked eyeing the boxes he was holding. He squeezed past me and headed for the breakfast bar, the scent of his cologne tickling my nose.
"I come bearing gifts!"
"Gifts for what?" I asked puzzled.
"For you. Well, it's not really a gift, more like a necessity. Now don't get too excited, it's nothing much." He pushed the boxes towards me and told me to open them.
I lifted the lid to the first box and he raised the lid on the second one at the same time. I was looking at two brand new pair of skates.
"Now, I wasn't sure if you were a girly girl and liked those pansy figure skates or of you could handle real skates like the big boys wear, " he said laughing and taking the 'real skates' out of their box.
"Oh don't you worry about me! I could tape the boxes to my feet and still keep up with you Crosby!"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Damn right it is!"
"What are the terms?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I get when I win?"
"That's presuming you will win, and you won't!"
"Ok, so what'll it be?"
"I don't know."
"How about, when I beat you, you have to make me dinner...anything I want!"
"And when I kick your ass?"
"That's not going to happen! But for the sake of argument and good sportsmanship, if you win, I'll take you to dinner...anywhere you want to go."
"How come I have to make dinner but you get to buy dinner?"
"Trust me, you do NOT want me to cook for you!"
"Well, warm up the old credit card because we will be going to the most expensive restaurant I can find!" I said smiling.
"We'll see about that," he grinned. "Try them on."
I put the men's skates on and watched as his expert hands tightened the laces and did them up. Perfect fit! He pulled me up off the stool and I took a few wobbly steps in them.
"You think you're going to kick my ass when you can barely stand up!"
"It's been a while alright! I'm not worried, it's like riding a bike. You never forget how. I feel that I should give you fair warning though, I am an accomplished skater, not to mention that I was the one who did all the drills and and practised with my brother. Care to rethink the terms of our challenge?"
"Nope!"
"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you!"
"I'm not worried," he said bending down to take the skates off for me.
"I don't think I like this cocky side of you Crosby!"
"Not cocky, confident. And you love it!"
He was right.
"Ready to shop?" he asked.
"I was born ready! I ought to warn you, you're going to get your workout in shopping with me. Hope you can keep up!"
"I am so not afraid of you!"
"You always have to have the last word don't you?"
"No."
"Uugh! Has anyone ever told you how completely frustrating you are?"
"I may have been told once or twice!"
"Let's go!" I said grabbing my purse and keys.
"Ok but I'm driving."
"No you're not."
"Yes I am. I have more room than you do super shopper!"
I hated it when he was right.
"WOW! You look fantastic! I was beginning to wonder if you owned anything but scrubs and that ratty old #66 jersey you always wear!"
I could feel myself blushing at his comments. "Thanks, you clean up pretty good yourself mister. What is all this," I asked eyeing the boxes he was holding. He squeezed past me and headed for the breakfast bar, the scent of his cologne tickling my nose.
"I come bearing gifts!"
"Gifts for what?" I asked puzzled.
"For you. Well, it's not really a gift, more like a necessity. Now don't get too excited, it's nothing much." He pushed the boxes towards me and told me to open them.
I lifted the lid to the first box and he raised the lid on the second one at the same time. I was looking at two brand new pair of skates.
"Now, I wasn't sure if you were a girly girl and liked those pansy figure skates or of you could handle real skates like the big boys wear, " he said laughing and taking the 'real skates' out of their box.
"Oh don't you worry about me! I could tape the boxes to my feet and still keep up with you Crosby!"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Damn right it is!"
"What are the terms?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do I get when I win?"
"That's presuming you will win, and you won't!"
"Ok, so what'll it be?"
"I don't know."
"How about, when I beat you, you have to make me dinner...anything I want!"
"And when I kick your ass?"
"That's not going to happen! But for the sake of argument and good sportsmanship, if you win, I'll take you to dinner...anywhere you want to go."
"How come I have to make dinner but you get to buy dinner?"
"Trust me, you do NOT want me to cook for you!"
"Well, warm up the old credit card because we will be going to the most expensive restaurant I can find!" I said smiling.
"We'll see about that," he grinned. "Try them on."
I put the men's skates on and watched as his expert hands tightened the laces and did them up. Perfect fit! He pulled me up off the stool and I took a few wobbly steps in them.
"You think you're going to kick my ass when you can barely stand up!"
"It's been a while alright! I'm not worried, it's like riding a bike. You never forget how. I feel that I should give you fair warning though, I am an accomplished skater, not to mention that I was the one who did all the drills and and practised with my brother. Care to rethink the terms of our challenge?"
"Nope!"
"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you!"
"I'm not worried," he said bending down to take the skates off for me.
"I don't think I like this cocky side of you Crosby!"
"Not cocky, confident. And you love it!"
He was right.
"Ready to shop?" he asked.
"I was born ready! I ought to warn you, you're going to get your workout in shopping with me. Hope you can keep up!"
"I am so not afraid of you!"
"You always have to have the last word don't you?"
"No."
"Uugh! Has anyone ever told you how completely frustrating you are?"
"I may have been told once or twice!"
"Let's go!" I said grabbing my purse and keys.
"Ok but I'm driving."
"No you're not."
"Yes I am. I have more room than you do super shopper!"
I hated it when he was right.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Chapter 25
I had worked another double shift on Wednesday and when the alarm went off at 7 am Thursday morning all I wanted to do is throw it out the window! I had to drag myself out of bed to get in the shower (something I rarely did before taking the boys to school) and decided to actually put an effort into my appearance today - no sweats! I chose my best pair of jeans and my favorite chocolate brown cashmere sweater and the only pair of 'dressy' boots that I owned. I put on a little make-up and spent all of about five minutes on my hair. That's one thing I loved about my short Halee Berry do (pre extensions!) I took one final look in the mirror before leaving the bathroom. Not bad. The brown sweater brought out the blue in my eyes.
I went to the kitchen to make the boys lunches and they were already at the breakfast bar eating their cereal.
"WOW!" Alex said went I entered the room. "Do you have a hot date or something mom? You never look this good!"
I didn't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed! "No, Mr. Comedian, I do not have a hot date. I'm just going shopping after you guys go to school."
"Are you going to get Christmas presents for us?" Jake asked with a mouth full of Cheerios.
"Jake, please swallow before you open your mouth and why would I buy you guys Christmas presents when Santa's going to come in a week?"
Alex just rolled his eyes and gave me that 'give me a break' look. He had figured out there was no Santa last year and when he confronted me about it, I just couldn't bring myself to lie. He had promised not to ruin it for his brother.
"You guys need to finish up, we have to get going."
Jake went to get his backpack and coat but Alex stayed at the counter playing with the few Cheerios that remained in his bowl.
"Is something bothering you Alex, you look upset?"
"I'm not upset. I just...well I was kinda hoping..."
"Spit it out Alex, you can tell me anything."
"When I saw you dressed up I was kinda hoping that you... did have a date, that's all."
My jaw must have hit the floor! I didn't really know what to say to that, especially since it was coming from my twelve year old son.
"Have you been talking to Lily about this Alex?"
"No."
"Then where would you get the idea of me dating from?"
"Mom, I'm twelve, I'm not a baby. Isn't that what people do when they want to find someone to marry?" he said rather sarcastically.
"Whoa, hold on there cowboy! Now you have me getting married? Where is all this coming from?"
"I'm just saying that it would be ok if you did you know...date someone."
"Well it seems you've given this alot of thought. You want me to start dating?"
"YES!" You have been all by yourself forever. All my friends have dads to do stuff with them..."
"Ahh. Now the truth comes out. Is that what this is really about? Do you feel left out because you don't have a dad?" I could feel the tears building up in my freshly mascaraed eyes.
"I don't want to hurt your feelings mom because you are the best, but sometimes it would be nice to have a dad around to shoot pucks with or play baseball with, ya know...guy stuff."
"I see. You need to go get ready for school, we're going to be late," I said with a shaky voice.
When Alex had left the room I plunked myself down on the stool he'd been sitting on. I fought back the tears. All this time I had thought I was doing the best thing for them, keeping the potential hurt away from them. I had never looked at it from their point of view. I had just assumed I would always be enough for them.
I went to the kitchen to make the boys lunches and they were already at the breakfast bar eating their cereal.
"WOW!" Alex said went I entered the room. "Do you have a hot date or something mom? You never look this good!"
I didn't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed! "No, Mr. Comedian, I do not have a hot date. I'm just going shopping after you guys go to school."
"Are you going to get Christmas presents for us?" Jake asked with a mouth full of Cheerios.
"Jake, please swallow before you open your mouth and why would I buy you guys Christmas presents when Santa's going to come in a week?"
Alex just rolled his eyes and gave me that 'give me a break' look. He had figured out there was no Santa last year and when he confronted me about it, I just couldn't bring myself to lie. He had promised not to ruin it for his brother.
"You guys need to finish up, we have to get going."
Jake went to get his backpack and coat but Alex stayed at the counter playing with the few Cheerios that remained in his bowl.
"Is something bothering you Alex, you look upset?"
"I'm not upset. I just...well I was kinda hoping..."
"Spit it out Alex, you can tell me anything."
"When I saw you dressed up I was kinda hoping that you... did have a date, that's all."
My jaw must have hit the floor! I didn't really know what to say to that, especially since it was coming from my twelve year old son.
"Have you been talking to Lily about this Alex?"
"No."
"Then where would you get the idea of me dating from?"
"Mom, I'm twelve, I'm not a baby. Isn't that what people do when they want to find someone to marry?" he said rather sarcastically.
"Whoa, hold on there cowboy! Now you have me getting married? Where is all this coming from?"
"I'm just saying that it would be ok if you did you know...date someone."
"Well it seems you've given this alot of thought. You want me to start dating?"
"YES!" You have been all by yourself forever. All my friends have dads to do stuff with them..."
"Ahh. Now the truth comes out. Is that what this is really about? Do you feel left out because you don't have a dad?" I could feel the tears building up in my freshly mascaraed eyes.
"I don't want to hurt your feelings mom because you are the best, but sometimes it would be nice to have a dad around to shoot pucks with or play baseball with, ya know...guy stuff."
"I see. You need to go get ready for school, we're going to be late," I said with a shaky voice.
When Alex had left the room I plunked myself down on the stool he'd been sitting on. I fought back the tears. All this time I had thought I was doing the best thing for them, keeping the potential hurt away from them. I had never looked at it from their point of view. I had just assumed I would always be enough for them.
Chapter 24
He took a deep breath and slowly pulled away from me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just barge in here and..."
"It's fine," I said quietly. "I'm just... surprised."
"Surprised? Why?"
Seriously?
"Sid, it's been over a week since our last conversation and I haven't heard from you. You completely ignored me at the games. I assumed you had made your decision."
"I'm not going to deny that I was a little hurt and confused after we talked and I really was going to try and leave you alone, but I just can't. I won't lie and say that I'm completely ok with just being your friend, I'll probably always want more. But more importantly, I need you in my life. I am completely comfortable with you. I can talk to you about anything without having to worry about saying the politically correct thing, or you judging me. Having that kind of person to lean on, especially being in my situation is worth more to me than anything else. So if you can handle it, looks like you're stuck with me!"
"I don't know, I think you are too high maintenance for me Crosby!"
"Ah ha! There's the sarcasm I know and love!"
We talked about the emotional roller coaster he had been on the past week or so. He looked exhausted just talking about everything that had been going on, but he didn't think twice about getting a dig in about the stress I too had caused him.
"Well if it makes you feel better, I wasn't doing so hot either. I couldn't even shop and that NEVER happens to me!"
"Oh yeah, Christmas shopping for the boys! You didn't get it done?"
"I really wasn't in the mood that day. And besides, I don't really know what to get them. Both of them asked for new hockey equipment and a bunch of video games, two things I really know nothing about..."
"Well today is your lucky day! I happen to be an expert in both departments and I have the next 5 days off, so when are we going?"
"Sid, I can't ask you to go shopping with me."
"You didn't, I offered. Besides friend, isn't that what friends do together?"
"Yes, but..."
"Ah ah ah! What did I tell you about that 'but'?"
"Fine. Thursday."
"Great! Oh, and before I forget, the team is having it's annual Christmas family skate at the Igloo on Saturday and Mario wanted me to invite you and the boys."
"WHAT? Mario? We couldn't possibly. We're not family!"
"Before you try making any more excuses, he will not take no for an answer. He says it's a thank you for what you did at the hospital."
"But I didn't do anything for him!"
"No, but you did alot for me and he, well we appreciate it, so too bad you're coming!
"I don't even have skates anymore!"
He was laughing hysterically. "I think we might be able to take care of that!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just barge in here and..."
"It's fine," I said quietly. "I'm just... surprised."
"Surprised? Why?"
Seriously?
"Sid, it's been over a week since our last conversation and I haven't heard from you. You completely ignored me at the games. I assumed you had made your decision."
"I'm not going to deny that I was a little hurt and confused after we talked and I really was going to try and leave you alone, but I just can't. I won't lie and say that I'm completely ok with just being your friend, I'll probably always want more. But more importantly, I need you in my life. I am completely comfortable with you. I can talk to you about anything without having to worry about saying the politically correct thing, or you judging me. Having that kind of person to lean on, especially being in my situation is worth more to me than anything else. So if you can handle it, looks like you're stuck with me!"
"I don't know, I think you are too high maintenance for me Crosby!"
"Ah ha! There's the sarcasm I know and love!"
We talked about the emotional roller coaster he had been on the past week or so. He looked exhausted just talking about everything that had been going on, but he didn't think twice about getting a dig in about the stress I too had caused him.
"Well if it makes you feel better, I wasn't doing so hot either. I couldn't even shop and that NEVER happens to me!"
"Oh yeah, Christmas shopping for the boys! You didn't get it done?"
"I really wasn't in the mood that day. And besides, I don't really know what to get them. Both of them asked for new hockey equipment and a bunch of video games, two things I really know nothing about..."
"Well today is your lucky day! I happen to be an expert in both departments and I have the next 5 days off, so when are we going?"
"Sid, I can't ask you to go shopping with me."
"You didn't, I offered. Besides friend, isn't that what friends do together?"
"Yes, but..."
"Ah ah ah! What did I tell you about that 'but'?"
"Fine. Thursday."
"Great! Oh, and before I forget, the team is having it's annual Christmas family skate at the Igloo on Saturday and Mario wanted me to invite you and the boys."
"WHAT? Mario? We couldn't possibly. We're not family!"
"Before you try making any more excuses, he will not take no for an answer. He says it's a thank you for what you did at the hospital."
"But I didn't do anything for him!"
"No, but you did alot for me and he, well we appreciate it, so too bad you're coming!
"I don't even have skates anymore!"
He was laughing hysterically. "I think we might be able to take care of that!"
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Chapter 23
The next night at the game I noticed that Mario wasn't in his box despite being discharged from the hospital the day before. I figured he must be keeping a low profile and taking it easy.
I had left the boys with the Parker's for this game. With everything that had happened the last couple of days, I just wanted to be with Lily for a girls night. She has been my rock since moving here. I don't know how I would've managed without her. And now with this Sidney situation, I was putting her through the wringer. What better way to say thank you than an evening looking at sexy, sweaty hockey players?
The game was a complete disaster. They lost 5-0 and it was the worst game I had seen Sid play. He seemed to have lost the hunger, he was mediocre at best. I hate to say it, but he was playing like the rest of the team. He had looked at me several times during the game but his eyes were empty and he made no other acknowledgement that I was there. I knew he'd be pissed after the loss so tonight I stayed in my seat until the game was over hoping that if we just made that connection there was still hope that he didn't hate me. He made his little skate around and did not even look up. My heart sank when he left the ice.
******************
The boys had been on a western road trip for the past week and had not been any better. They lost all three games to Detroit, Colorado and St. Louis before finally coming home. My heart was breaking for Sidney. In every interview he seemed like a shell of his former self. He did not take losing very well and I was afraid if they didn't start winning soon his self confidence would all but disappear. The day after they returned Eddie Olczyk was fired. I knew Sid would be devastated. While he did not always agree with Eddie's methods, Sid still felt close to him. I just wanted to call him and let him know that I was there if he needed to talk. I must have dialed his number a hundred times and hung up. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had left the ball in his court and he had not called. It had been over a week.
On December 16, Michel Therrien was named head coach and the first thing he did was name Sid an alternate captain. I was torn between being happy for him and his new responsibility and being sad at the fact that he now had even more pressure on him, if that was possible. That night I had just finished tucking the boys in and getting into my own pj's when there was a faint knock at my door.
"I didn't know where else to go," Sid said softly.
I shut the door behind him and motioned for him to sit down on the couch. I sat beside him and put a comforting hand on his knee. We sat in silence for a long time. God, all I wanted to do was take him in my arms, kiss those pouty lips and tell him I loved him! He'd look at me, struggle to find the words he wanted to say, and then look away. This went on several more times before I just couldn't take it anymore. I gently pulled him into my arms and held his head to my chest. I felt his entire body tense and then suddenly go limp. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on for dear life. He slowly started shaking, silently at first and then I realized he was crying.
I had left the boys with the Parker's for this game. With everything that had happened the last couple of days, I just wanted to be with Lily for a girls night. She has been my rock since moving here. I don't know how I would've managed without her. And now with this Sidney situation, I was putting her through the wringer. What better way to say thank you than an evening looking at sexy, sweaty hockey players?
The game was a complete disaster. They lost 5-0 and it was the worst game I had seen Sid play. He seemed to have lost the hunger, he was mediocre at best. I hate to say it, but he was playing like the rest of the team. He had looked at me several times during the game but his eyes were empty and he made no other acknowledgement that I was there. I knew he'd be pissed after the loss so tonight I stayed in my seat until the game was over hoping that if we just made that connection there was still hope that he didn't hate me. He made his little skate around and did not even look up. My heart sank when he left the ice.
******************
The boys had been on a western road trip for the past week and had not been any better. They lost all three games to Detroit, Colorado and St. Louis before finally coming home. My heart was breaking for Sidney. In every interview he seemed like a shell of his former self. He did not take losing very well and I was afraid if they didn't start winning soon his self confidence would all but disappear. The day after they returned Eddie Olczyk was fired. I knew Sid would be devastated. While he did not always agree with Eddie's methods, Sid still felt close to him. I just wanted to call him and let him know that I was there if he needed to talk. I must have dialed his number a hundred times and hung up. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had left the ball in his court and he had not called. It had been over a week.
On December 16, Michel Therrien was named head coach and the first thing he did was name Sid an alternate captain. I was torn between being happy for him and his new responsibility and being sad at the fact that he now had even more pressure on him, if that was possible. That night I had just finished tucking the boys in and getting into my own pj's when there was a faint knock at my door.
"I didn't know where else to go," Sid said softly.
I shut the door behind him and motioned for him to sit down on the couch. I sat beside him and put a comforting hand on his knee. We sat in silence for a long time. God, all I wanted to do was take him in my arms, kiss those pouty lips and tell him I loved him! He'd look at me, struggle to find the words he wanted to say, and then look away. This went on several more times before I just couldn't take it anymore. I gently pulled him into my arms and held his head to my chest. I felt his entire body tense and then suddenly go limp. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on for dear life. He slowly started shaking, silently at first and then I realized he was crying.
Chapter 22
Lily and I wandered around the mall aimlessly for hours. I really couldn't get in to shopping for the boys. Everything I looked at just didn't seem right. I picked up a few things here and there but my mind was definitely not on shopping.
"What's up with you today Bek? You are completely zoned out."
"Had a rough morning," was the only reply I could manage.
"How do you have a rough morning when all you did was get up and come shopping?"
"I wish that's all I did this morning! Let's go grab a cup of coffee, we're both going to need it for this story."
I told Lily everything that had happened over the past 24 hours. Every perfect moment and every harsh word. When I was done she looked at me with a certain sadness in her eyes.
"Oh Bekah, I'm so happy that you got to meet Mario regardless of the circumstances."
"It was an emotional moment for me. I had to pinch myself to make sure it was really happening! He is truly an amazing person, so gracious."
"I am sooo proud of you."
"PROUD? For what?"
"You took a big step telling Sidney about your past. You were finally able to open up to someone! And the fact that he was so wonderful about everything and still wants to be with you is just icing on the cake!"
"Perhaps you are experiencing some kind of brain malfunction! Did you miss the part where I pretty much gave the most fantastic human being in the world a first class ticket out of my life?"
"Bekah really! For one of the most level headed people I know you sure are awfully dramatic! You act like you're never going to see or talk to him again. There is a very simple solution you are overlooking here."
"And what would that be?"
"You call him and plead temporary insanity! Tell him that you made a mistake, you were out of your mind and of course you want to be with him. Problem solved!"
"Wow, you have it all figured out don't you? There is only one problem with your plan."
"What's that?"
"I didn't make a mistake. Sidney and I cannot be together."
"Bekah he's perfect, and perfect for you. You said yourself that you have never been this comfortable with anyone. And I know you have strong feelings for him, more than just friendship. Honestly, do you think you could be his friend feeling the way you do?"
"I will admit that my feelings for Sidney are far deeper than I want them to be. I care for him enough to know that I would only end up hurting him in the end. He deserves so much more than I am emotionally capable of giving him and I want him to be happy. It's better for him this way, besides, he may not even want to be my friend."
"Better for him? What about you? When are you going to stop putting everyone else's needs before your own?"
"Never. That's what happens when you become a mother. There is always someone else's needs that come before your own."
"You always say that you don't want to live with any more regrets. If you let Sidney Crosby walk out of your life it will be the biggest regret of your life and I'm not sure you'll be able to get over it."
I knew Lily was right.
"What's up with you today Bek? You are completely zoned out."
"Had a rough morning," was the only reply I could manage.
"How do you have a rough morning when all you did was get up and come shopping?"
"I wish that's all I did this morning! Let's go grab a cup of coffee, we're both going to need it for this story."
I told Lily everything that had happened over the past 24 hours. Every perfect moment and every harsh word. When I was done she looked at me with a certain sadness in her eyes.
"Oh Bekah, I'm so happy that you got to meet Mario regardless of the circumstances."
"It was an emotional moment for me. I had to pinch myself to make sure it was really happening! He is truly an amazing person, so gracious."
"I am sooo proud of you."
"PROUD? For what?"
"You took a big step telling Sidney about your past. You were finally able to open up to someone! And the fact that he was so wonderful about everything and still wants to be with you is just icing on the cake!"
"Perhaps you are experiencing some kind of brain malfunction! Did you miss the part where I pretty much gave the most fantastic human being in the world a first class ticket out of my life?"
"Bekah really! For one of the most level headed people I know you sure are awfully dramatic! You act like you're never going to see or talk to him again. There is a very simple solution you are overlooking here."
"And what would that be?"
"You call him and plead temporary insanity! Tell him that you made a mistake, you were out of your mind and of course you want to be with him. Problem solved!"
"Wow, you have it all figured out don't you? There is only one problem with your plan."
"What's that?"
"I didn't make a mistake. Sidney and I cannot be together."
"Bekah he's perfect, and perfect for you. You said yourself that you have never been this comfortable with anyone. And I know you have strong feelings for him, more than just friendship. Honestly, do you think you could be his friend feeling the way you do?"
"I will admit that my feelings for Sidney are far deeper than I want them to be. I care for him enough to know that I would only end up hurting him in the end. He deserves so much more than I am emotionally capable of giving him and I want him to be happy. It's better for him this way, besides, he may not even want to be my friend."
"Better for him? What about you? When are you going to stop putting everyone else's needs before your own?"
"Never. That's what happens when you become a mother. There is always someone else's needs that come before your own."
"You always say that you don't want to live with any more regrets. If you let Sidney Crosby walk out of your life it will be the biggest regret of your life and I'm not sure you'll be able to get over it."
I knew Lily was right.
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