"For you beautiful," Sidney said handing me a glass of wine and kissing my cheek.
"Thank you. Where are the boys?"
"Already fed and in their rooms doing homework. Come with me."
"I just want to go see the boys first."
"Hello my babies," I said from the doorway of Alex's room. Jake came bounding in and flopped on his brother's bed.
"Come on, hugs please."
After hugs that lasted a little too long for my sons' liking, I asked how school was, and what they had for dinner.
"Sid made us psghetti," Jake answered. "It was good too! Better than Mrs. Parker's but not as good as yours."
"Thanks honey. Alex, you have anything to say?"
"Not really. Dinner was good."
"And?"
"Nothing."
"Jake can you go back to your room and let me talk to your brother?"
"Sure Mom."
"Alright Alex. There's something you're not telling me, what is it?"
He just looked at me for a long time before he let out a big sigh.
"Promise you won't get mad?"
"I can't promise that if I don't know what it is."
"I just don't want you to be mad at me..."
"Honey now you're starting to scare me. Please, whatever's bothering you, you can tell me. You can tell me anything."
"Okay. I want you to know that I really, really like Sid so this isn't because I don't like him. Sid hasn't been around much since we came home and Max has been spending lots of time with us; he's been helping me with some projects I've had for school and we've been hanging out and doing...family stuff." He paused. "We don't do the same kinds of stuff when Sid is here. It's...I don't know...different."
He looked like he still had more to say so I looked at him and urged him to continue.
"And...?"
"And...you were so happy when we were visiting Sid in Nova Scotia and not so happy since we've been home."
"I've been happy..."
"Not the same happy...and you only smile if you're doing something with us or Max is here. When Max is with us we are always laughing and having fun. It's not the same when Sid is here...if he's here."
"You don't have fun with Sid?"
"Yeah we have fun but it's just...different. It just seems like everything is so different here. Sid's different, you're different. I really like Sid Mom, but if you're going to be sad because he can't hang out with us, maybe you should just be..."
"Just be what?"
"I just want you to be happy Mom, whatever it takes."
I wrapped him in a huge hug and said "How did you get to be so smart anyway?"
"I'm not a little kid anymore Mom."
"I know. You're growing up before my eyes. Listen, I don't want you to be worrying about all this grown up stuff. I'm glad you like hanging out with Max, and yes we do have lots of fun, but that's because we're just very good friends, there's no pressure. When you are in a relationship with someone, you try hard to impress them so they will like you."
"But you and Sid already like each other."
"You're right, but you don't always act the same way around someone you're in a relationship with than you do with your friends."
"That's stupid. You should be able to act the same around everyone."
"Ya know what? You're right, you should, but it doesn't always work that way. Let's just try and cut Sid a little slack okay? Of course everything is going to be different here because it's not vacation anymore. We're both back to work and that is stressful; plus you know how hard it is for Sid here. Everybody wants something from him; his time, his autograph, his picture; it's a lot of work to be Sidney Crosby and he's still figuring out how to deal with it. He doesn't want to let anyone downand that includes us; especially us, so maybe we should do whatever we can to help him figure it out and not be too hard on him when he can't always be here okay?"
"Okay. Like I said, I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy," I said giving him another hug. "I've got the best kid-s in the whole world!"
Great advise. Now, if only I believed it.
**************************************
"Sorry," I said wandering back into the kitchen.
"No problem. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, Alex just had some stuff on his mind and I wouldn't leave until I pried it out of him."
"Nothing serious I hope?"
"Naw, just some stuff with school."
"Good, now come with me," he said taking me by the hand and leading me into the dining room.
There were candles everywhere and a beautiful bouquet of lilies in the middle of the table. There were two place settings of beautiful china, silverware, and crystal sparkling in the candle light.
"Where did all this come from?" I asked in total shock.
"I'm not going to lie...Nat helped me out," he smiled coyly, "But the pasta is all me, I swear!"
Dinner was excellent. We ate and made small talk, keeping the conversation light. When we were finished eating, Sidney insisted I go into the family room and rest while he did dish duty. I agreed, but only after tucking the boys into bed. Sid made a point to go in and say goodnight to both of them as well.
It was unusually cool already for October, so I lit a fire and settled on the couch with my glass of wine and a book.
When Sid was finished in the kitchen he joined me on the couch, lifting my feet and putting them on his lap. When he started to rub them I couldn't hold back a moan of pleasure.
"Feel good baby?"
"Amazing," I mumbled letting my eyes roll back in my head.
"I haven't heard you moan like that since our last night in Nova Scotia," he whispered.
"And who's fault is that?" I said without opening my eyes.
I felt him stiffen and regretted my words as soon as I said them...kind of.
'Remember what you told Max,' I said to myself. 'Don't let him off easy.'
His voice was soft as he spoke.
"Beks, I know things have been...rough since we came back. I haven't been around much and when I have, I've been...moody; but I'm trying. I'm trying to figure this out as I go and I know I'm not doing a very good job of it, but I'm trying. I don't want to disappoint anyone, least of all you and the boys. I'm sorry; I'm really trying."
His voice sounded sorrowful and it broke my heart. I really couldn't imagine being in his shoes, especially at his age. God knows I didn't have my shit together when I was nineteen.
I sat up and faced him.
"I get it Sid, I do. No amount of grooming can prepare you for the kind of pressure you're under. I don't think anyone, even your handlers, thought Sidney Crosby was going to be as big as you are, I get it. I know what I signed up for when I got into a relationship with you; but knowing it in your head and feeling it in your heart when you're living it are two different things. I'm trying too; trying not to put my own unfair expectations on you because that's the last thing you need. But, what you need to remember is you can make millions of fans happy, dozens of sponsors and the league too; but at the end of the day, it will mean nothing if you have no one to come home to and share it with. If you put the people who love you last on your list because you think they're always going to be there, that's exactly what's going to happen."
He hugged me long and tight.
"I know," he whispered into my hair. "I'm trying to figure out a balance."
"I hate to tell you this, but finding that balance is going to require you to say no sometimes."
"I know."
"Do you? I mean, you say the words but your actions say something different. As far as I can tell, the only one you've said no to is me."
"What? When?" he asked surprised.
"When I asked you to stop by the hospital and meet Sam."
"I didn't say no, just that it had to go through PR."
"But why? I wasn't asking for a big parade through the hospital, just for you to quietly slip in, meet the kid and slip out. I don't think that was a unreasonable request."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."
"Well, I guess there's nothing else to say."
The silence between us was almost deafening. I finally caved and wrapped him in a hug. He pulled back slightly and when his lips met mine, the heat flowing through my body threatened to melt away any left over anger and disappointment. I let out another low moan and Sid took it as an invitation to go further.
"I've been waiting to make you moan since we got back here. I want you so badly Beks," he whispered, his voice laden with lust. "Let's go to bed and see what I can do about that."
I pulled back from him immediately.
"Whoa, slow down cowboy. I thought I made it clear there would be no spending the night when the boys were here. Not yet."
"Who said anything about spending the night? I can be out of here before they wake up," he replied leaning in to pick up where he left off.
"Is that what this whole thing was about? You need to get laid so you thought you could make me dinner and say all the right things and that would make up for the last few weeks; all would be forgiven and I'd jump right back into bed with you?
"No, of course not! I've missed you; I've missed us being together."
"Then figure out a way to fix it! I need to get to bed, I have work in the morning so you should get going."
I stood up and walked to the front door.
"Are you serious right now? I thought we were working this out?"
"So did I. What's done is done; we'll move on from here, but if you think that you can just apologize and everything goes back to the way it was you've got another thing coming. We'll start with a clean slate but that means you have to earn my love and trust. Show me that you're willing to do the work and give me and this relationship the effort it deserves. I'm not asking to be your number one priority, I'm just asking for a little respect and consideration. If you can do that, then we'll see what happens. Until then...goodnight Sidney."
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Chapter 108
Three days had past and I had not had any more than a two minute conversation with Sid. They were on a seven day road trip and sadly, I was ready to have a break from him. I didn't want to be around him when I was still so angry. I didn't sit at home and wait for him to call; I was busy too, which is a good thing because if he found a few minutes to call it was usually before he had to run off to an interview or photo shoot or something that desperately needed the presence of Sidney Crosby. Isn't it funny that Max and I talked for an hour every night before going to sleep?
"So when are you gonna tell me who my competition is?" Sam asked me as I hung his new iv bag.
"I like to keep a little mystery in my life."
"You already know who your boyfriend is so it's not a mystery for you. Why can't you tell me? Is it that that doctor guy who keeps making googly eyes at you, what's his name? Richardson? Oh god, please tell me it's not that guy! He's such a pretty boy! He should be in one of those girly fashion magazines. He totally thinks he's god's gift to women. I'm begging you...it's not him is it?"
"Gee Sam, how do you really feel? I'll be sure to tell Dr. Richardson that you're his biggest fan."
"Seriously Bekah, you can do so much better than that goober, you could have me!"
"Hmmmmm, tough decision."
Just then there was a knock at the door and I heard a familiar voice say "So I heard there was a Penguins fan hiding out in here," before a football went whizzing by my head.
Sam caught it and his amazing blue eyes lit up to match the ones that were looking back at us.
"Hey bijou," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek before going over to Sam and offering him a handshake.
"You're...you're..."
"Max Talbot, nice to meet you Sam."
Sam looked at me dumbfounded and I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Bekah, Max Talbot knows my name! Wait. He knows you? You know Max Talbot? Holy crap!"
I laughed at the stunned look on his face and was sure that it matched mine.
"I told you I met him before," I said chuckling.
"Yeah, met him, not that you knew him and that he was going to walk into my room and kiss you on the...wait. He kissed you! Holy shit! Is that why you wouldn't tell me who the guy was?"
"Sam, slow down and take a breath! Max is NOT my boyfriend."
"Dude! No way, she is way too good for me. But for some reason; one I still don't understand, she has taken pity on me and allowed me to be her friend; best friend actually, right bijou?"
"Yeah Max, the best. I still haven't figured out why either?"
"Ouch dude, she just burned you!" Sam laughed.
Max sat down on the bed beside Sam and suddenly there were two sets of baby blues looking at me.
"I know," Max sighed. "But look at her. She could do just about anything to me and I'd just take it."
"I know right! She's hot; definitely the best thing about this damn place."
"Hi, I'm right here! And stop talking about me like I'm a piece of meat. Maxie, you are dangerously close to having to find a new best friend; and you little man," I said pointing at Sam, "if you're not careful, I'm going to make sure that nurse Bertha will be taking care of you from now on."
"No no no no no! Not big Bertha! I'll do anything, I swear."
I smiled at them over my shoulder on my way out the door.
"See what she did right there Sam? She's a vixen, and those kinds of girls are trouble; have you eating right out of their hands."
"I heard that," I yelled from the hallway.
"Oh hey Bekah," Carrie shouted after me, "phone call for you."
"Who is it?" I asked, walking around the desk at the nurses station.
"I don't know but he sounds cute!"
"How exactly does one sound cute?" I laughed.
"I don't know. I need help!"
"You need a date girl!"
"No, I need to get laid!" she laughed shaking her head.
"Hello?"
"Hey beautiful, can I interest you in dinner tonight? We just got back and I'm dying to see you."
"What's with the 180 degree flip with the personality?" I asked cooly.
"What do you mean, Beks? I've been gone for seven days and I missed you. I want to see you."
"Yeah and for the last ten days you've been a miserable jerk who couldn't find the time or the inclination to call his girlfriend; now you just expect me to forget the way you've treated me and have dinner with you because you say you've missed me? Sorry, I don't work that way pal."
"I know I've been a little moody lately, and I'm sorry. If you let me come over for dinner tonight, I'll promise I'll make it up to you."
"Oh, so now I have to make you dinner too?"
"No, I'll make dinner."
I was silent for a minute.
"Whaddya say...Sid's famous spaghetti...a little wine..." he urged.
"If you screw this up Crosby, you'll be ordering take out."
"I know. I'll see you at five. I love you."
"Ditto. See you at five."
I finished my rounds and was getting ready to head home for the day, but not without saying goodnight to Sam. When I walked into his room I was surprised to find Max still there and playing NHL O7 with Sam.
"Yeah baby! Gooooooooaaaaaaalllllll! Beks, I just kicked Max Talbot's ass!"
"Whoa whoa whoa! You did not kick my ass. You only beat me by two goals."
"I kicked your ass!"
"Fine you kicked my ass; but wait til you get out on the ice, then we'll see who kicks who's ass."
"Whoa! Out on what ice," I interrupted.
"Max said once I get better he'd take me to the arena so we could play a real game, isn't that awesome?"
"Awesome," I replied.
"And he said that I need to sweet talk you in to taking me to a game, turn on the old Bradley charm..."
"Maxime Talbot! I leave you alone for two hours and you've turned this sweet, innocent young boy into...YOU!"
"Relax chérie, I will be a perfect gentleman," Sam said smoothly.
"Unbelievable! It's like a mini Max! That's it Talbot, you are banned from this hospital forever!"
"C'mon bijou, I finally have a prodigy!"
"Goodnight Sam, don't give the night nurses a hard time okay?"
"Oui, mon amour, bon soir."
"Lord help us all, there's two of them! Let's go superstar," I said grabbing Max's hand and pulling him towards the door, "your little mini me needs to rest. I'll see you tomorrow Sam."
"And I'll see you Wednesday bud," Max called.
"I can't believe you spent the whole afternoon with Sam, Max. You didn't have to do that," I said as we got on the elevator.
"I know I didn't have to; I wanted to. You were right, he is an awesome kid. And totally in love with you by the way, but who could blame him?"
I swatted him on the arm.
"Seriously Max, it's great that you spent time with him; I really appreciate it, but you shouldn't be promising him things that aren't going to happen."
"Why won't they happen? I'd love to get him out on the ice. Do you know they don't even have an arena in the town he lives in? That's not right!"
"Max, his chances of ever leaving this hospital are not good," I said softly.
Max saw the sadness in my eyes and put his arm protectively around my shoulders.
"All the more reason to give him something to look forward to then."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we rode down the rest of the way in silence. When we reached the parking lot Max said, "Can I interest you in some dinner? I'll cook?"
"I'd love to Max, but Sid's coming for dinner."
"And all is forgiven," he replied solemnly.
"No, all is not forgiven, but we do need to talk about it."
"Just do me a favour okay?"
"What?"
"Don't let him off the hook too easy. He was an ass and if you let him get away with it now, he'll think he can treat you like that all the time and then I'd have to kick his ass and Mario will ship me to some place like...Florida."
"I won't let him off easy, I promise," I said smiling.
"Good. Besides, if things don't work out with Sid, you have another young stud who's already in love with you."
"Oh yeah? And who would that be?"
He smiled that charming Talbot smile, and kissed me on the forehead.
"Sam!"
"Right! I'll keep that in mind. Seriously Max, thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For listening to my bullshit, for trying to look out for me, and most of all for today; with Sam. You have no idea how much it means to him; to both of us."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He kissed my cheek and shut the door of my car after I got in.
The drive home flew by, and before I knew it I was in my driveway, Sid's range rover already there. I turned of the car and took a deep breath.
'Be strong Bekah. Stand your ground. He needs to know that you will not accept his behaviour,' I told myself.
'Here goes nothing.'
I pushed open the front door. "I'm home!"
"So when are you gonna tell me who my competition is?" Sam asked me as I hung his new iv bag.
"I like to keep a little mystery in my life."
"You already know who your boyfriend is so it's not a mystery for you. Why can't you tell me? Is it that that doctor guy who keeps making googly eyes at you, what's his name? Richardson? Oh god, please tell me it's not that guy! He's such a pretty boy! He should be in one of those girly fashion magazines. He totally thinks he's god's gift to women. I'm begging you...it's not him is it?"
"Gee Sam, how do you really feel? I'll be sure to tell Dr. Richardson that you're his biggest fan."
"Seriously Bekah, you can do so much better than that goober, you could have me!"
"Hmmmmm, tough decision."
Just then there was a knock at the door and I heard a familiar voice say "So I heard there was a Penguins fan hiding out in here," before a football went whizzing by my head.
Sam caught it and his amazing blue eyes lit up to match the ones that were looking back at us.
"Hey bijou," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek before going over to Sam and offering him a handshake.
"You're...you're..."
"Max Talbot, nice to meet you Sam."
Sam looked at me dumbfounded and I just shrugged my shoulders.
"Bekah, Max Talbot knows my name! Wait. He knows you? You know Max Talbot? Holy crap!"
I laughed at the stunned look on his face and was sure that it matched mine.
"I told you I met him before," I said chuckling.
"Yeah, met him, not that you knew him and that he was going to walk into my room and kiss you on the...wait. He kissed you! Holy shit! Is that why you wouldn't tell me who the guy was?"
"Sam, slow down and take a breath! Max is NOT my boyfriend."
"Dude! No way, she is way too good for me. But for some reason; one I still don't understand, she has taken pity on me and allowed me to be her friend; best friend actually, right bijou?"
"Yeah Max, the best. I still haven't figured out why either?"
"Ouch dude, she just burned you!" Sam laughed.
Max sat down on the bed beside Sam and suddenly there were two sets of baby blues looking at me.
"I know," Max sighed. "But look at her. She could do just about anything to me and I'd just take it."
"I know right! She's hot; definitely the best thing about this damn place."
"Hi, I'm right here! And stop talking about me like I'm a piece of meat. Maxie, you are dangerously close to having to find a new best friend; and you little man," I said pointing at Sam, "if you're not careful, I'm going to make sure that nurse Bertha will be taking care of you from now on."
"No no no no no! Not big Bertha! I'll do anything, I swear."
I smiled at them over my shoulder on my way out the door.
"See what she did right there Sam? She's a vixen, and those kinds of girls are trouble; have you eating right out of their hands."
"I heard that," I yelled from the hallway.
"Oh hey Bekah," Carrie shouted after me, "phone call for you."
"Who is it?" I asked, walking around the desk at the nurses station.
"I don't know but he sounds cute!"
"How exactly does one sound cute?" I laughed.
"I don't know. I need help!"
"You need a date girl!"
"No, I need to get laid!" she laughed shaking her head.
"Hello?"
"Hey beautiful, can I interest you in dinner tonight? We just got back and I'm dying to see you."
"What's with the 180 degree flip with the personality?" I asked cooly.
"What do you mean, Beks? I've been gone for seven days and I missed you. I want to see you."
"Yeah and for the last ten days you've been a miserable jerk who couldn't find the time or the inclination to call his girlfriend; now you just expect me to forget the way you've treated me and have dinner with you because you say you've missed me? Sorry, I don't work that way pal."
"I know I've been a little moody lately, and I'm sorry. If you let me come over for dinner tonight, I'll promise I'll make it up to you."
"Oh, so now I have to make you dinner too?"
"No, I'll make dinner."
I was silent for a minute.
"Whaddya say...Sid's famous spaghetti...a little wine..." he urged.
"If you screw this up Crosby, you'll be ordering take out."
"I know. I'll see you at five. I love you."
"Ditto. See you at five."
I finished my rounds and was getting ready to head home for the day, but not without saying goodnight to Sam. When I walked into his room I was surprised to find Max still there and playing NHL O7 with Sam.
"Yeah baby! Gooooooooaaaaaaalllllll! Beks, I just kicked Max Talbot's ass!"
"Whoa whoa whoa! You did not kick my ass. You only beat me by two goals."
"I kicked your ass!"
"Fine you kicked my ass; but wait til you get out on the ice, then we'll see who kicks who's ass."
"Whoa! Out on what ice," I interrupted.
"Max said once I get better he'd take me to the arena so we could play a real game, isn't that awesome?"
"Awesome," I replied.
"And he said that I need to sweet talk you in to taking me to a game, turn on the old Bradley charm..."
"Maxime Talbot! I leave you alone for two hours and you've turned this sweet, innocent young boy into...YOU!"
"Relax chérie, I will be a perfect gentleman," Sam said smoothly.
"Unbelievable! It's like a mini Max! That's it Talbot, you are banned from this hospital forever!"
"C'mon bijou, I finally have a prodigy!"
"Goodnight Sam, don't give the night nurses a hard time okay?"
"Oui, mon amour, bon soir."
"Lord help us all, there's two of them! Let's go superstar," I said grabbing Max's hand and pulling him towards the door, "your little mini me needs to rest. I'll see you tomorrow Sam."
"And I'll see you Wednesday bud," Max called.
"I can't believe you spent the whole afternoon with Sam, Max. You didn't have to do that," I said as we got on the elevator.
"I know I didn't have to; I wanted to. You were right, he is an awesome kid. And totally in love with you by the way, but who could blame him?"
I swatted him on the arm.
"Seriously Max, it's great that you spent time with him; I really appreciate it, but you shouldn't be promising him things that aren't going to happen."
"Why won't they happen? I'd love to get him out on the ice. Do you know they don't even have an arena in the town he lives in? That's not right!"
"Max, his chances of ever leaving this hospital are not good," I said softly.
Max saw the sadness in my eyes and put his arm protectively around my shoulders.
"All the more reason to give him something to look forward to then."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we rode down the rest of the way in silence. When we reached the parking lot Max said, "Can I interest you in some dinner? I'll cook?"
"I'd love to Max, but Sid's coming for dinner."
"And all is forgiven," he replied solemnly.
"No, all is not forgiven, but we do need to talk about it."
"Just do me a favour okay?"
"What?"
"Don't let him off the hook too easy. He was an ass and if you let him get away with it now, he'll think he can treat you like that all the time and then I'd have to kick his ass and Mario will ship me to some place like...Florida."
"I won't let him off easy, I promise," I said smiling.
"Good. Besides, if things don't work out with Sid, you have another young stud who's already in love with you."
"Oh yeah? And who would that be?"
He smiled that charming Talbot smile, and kissed me on the forehead.
"Sam!"
"Right! I'll keep that in mind. Seriously Max, thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For listening to my bullshit, for trying to look out for me, and most of all for today; with Sam. You have no idea how much it means to him; to both of us."
"It was my pleasure bijou. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He kissed my cheek and shut the door of my car after I got in.
The drive home flew by, and before I knew it I was in my driveway, Sid's range rover already there. I turned of the car and took a deep breath.
'Be strong Bekah. Stand your ground. He needs to know that you will not accept his behaviour,' I told myself.
'Here goes nothing.'
I pushed open the front door. "I'm home!"
I just wanted to let you all know that I have started a new story. You all have been amazingly supportive of my writing and I hope you will like this new story. It's not about any of our beloved Penguins, but it is about one of my other favourite hockey players and all around great guy John-Michael Liles. He's a defensemen for the Avalanche and completly underrated as a player and a hottie. I hope you take the time to check out the story and as always please, please, please let me know what you think. Here's the link:
http://loveinthemountains.blogspot.com
Against All Odds and Love Lost and Found will both have updates soon!
Cheers!
~B~
http://loveinthemountains.blogspot.com
Against All Odds and Love Lost and Found will both have updates soon!
Cheers!
~B~
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Chapter 107
"So tell me the truth, not what you think I want hear okay? Promise?"
"I promise."
"Do you think it was asking too much of him?" I asked Max after explaining what had happened only an hour before.
"You gotta know by now how hard it is for him to go anywhere in this town without causing a major ruckus..."
"Don't make excuses Max, I just want a yes or no answer. Am I asking too much for him to take ten minutes out of his life to make a kid's day?"
"Well, when you put it that way...no. But..."
"No buts."
"C'mon bijou it's not that simple."
"Yes it is. I'm not asking him to parade around the hospital and make a spectacle out of himself; and it's not like he doesn't sneak in there all the time to visit me for a few minutes, so what's the difference?" I asked exasperated as I threw myself against the back of the couch.
"I don't know," Max said quietly looking down at his hands. "I don't know. Maybe you just caught him at a bad time, I mean the season starts tomorrow and he's feeling major pressure, not to mention Troy's already on his ass. Give him a little bit to get back in the swing of the season and I'm sure he'll change his mind."
Max joined me against the back of the couch.
"I can't believe the season hasn't even started yet and..." I trailed off.
Max put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him.
"I know," he whispered kissing my forehead, "but you said you knew what you were getting into with this."
"I know," I groaned. "But I figured it would be tough to find time to be together and we wouldn't be able to go out in public, I never thought he'd deny me 10 minutes to make the day of a 16 year old kid. Isn't that what they praise him for in the media and all over the place? How much he gives back to kids?"
"I don't know what to say bijou."
"There is nothing to say Max. There is no excuse that will make it okay."
I cuddled into him and we sat in comfortable silence until I heard the soft, heavy breathing; not quite a snore, of my best friend. Then the guilt set in.
"Max, wake up."
"Hmmm?"
"Max I am sooooo sorry! It's late, I should have never asked you to come over here tonight. You have your first game tomorrow night and I just shouldn't have bothered you."
"Bijou, it's fine. I don't need a lot of sleep; I am a finely tuned athletic machine!"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked pretending to be hurt.
"Nothing," I managed between gasps for air. "Seriously though, I am sorry for dragging you out this late."
He pulled me into a hug and said, "Seriously, it's fine. After you being there for me through that whole...thing, it's the least I could do. You know I'm here for you bijou; no matter what."
"I know." Silence. "Max?"
"Yeah?" he yawned.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," he said sleepily. "Since I came all the way over here can I ask you a favour?"
"Anything."
"I am so wiped; is it okay if I just crash here tonight? I don't want to drive."
"Of course! You can take my bed, I'll stay out here."
"I am not putting you out of your own bed, I'll take the couch."
"Absolutely NOT! You have a game tomorrow and I am not going to have you all cramped up from sleeping on this lumpy thing. We're being ridiculous; we are two grown ups..."
"Well you are."
"There is no reason we can't sleep in the same bed."
"Hmmm? I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands to myself," he said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You're not funny," I said dryly, pulling him up from the couch. "You best be careful cause you know I can kick your ass!"
"Ooooh, you know I like my women feisty!"
"Take it easy superstar, you're keeping all your clothes on!"
"Superstar huh? Hmm, I like it! But I can not sleep with a shirt on, sorry."
We were laying in bed in the complete darkness. It was silent. I was waiting for the sound of Max's breathing to let me know he was asleep, but instead I felt him grab my hand.
"Tell me about Sam," he whispered.
"You need to sleep."
"Please, I want to know about him."
I told Max all about Sam and his crazy antics and finished by saying how much I adored him.
"He sounds hilarious; and like a great kid. And hey, he's got great taste if he's so enamoured with you."
"How could anyone not be?" I said sarcastically.
"I wish I knew," he said quietly.
He pulled me into his side and kissed my forehead. My hand naturally fell on his chest and I immediately thought 'Hairy...how...manly. Definitely not bare and boyish.'
"I don't know how you do what you do. All those sick kids; it's just not fair and I have no idea how you can go to work every day and be like a ray of sunshine to them and their families. I admire you so much bijou. You really are amazing."
I squeezed him letting him know I appreciated his sentiments.
"You're right, it's not fair that these kids have the burden of fighting for their lives before they actually begin living, but someone has to be there for them and be positive and supportive; that's my job."
"I just think...you are just...I just..love you."
I gave him another squeeze before telling him I loved him too and drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the spot in the bed beside me was cold and empty, but on the pillow there was a note.
Bijou,
I wanted to be out of the way before inquiring minds wanted to know. Thank you for allowing me to be there for you the way you've been there for me. I am honoured you trust me enough to share your life with. Don't worry your pretty little head about this, Sid loves you and I know he will see how important this is to you and he'll come through. He always does.
See you after the game tonight.
XOXO
Max
PS Don't for get to wish the superstar good luck!
The Pens won and both my guys had a goal. The mood in the locker room was upbeat except in one particular stall. The one with all the lights, cameras and microphones gathered in front of it. The mood coming from that stall was subdued and stoic. The tone was even and emotionless. By the time the last camera had vacated, all that was left was exhaustion.
Everyone had already left for whatever club they were celebrating their victory at. Max was nice enough to wait with me for Sidney to finish. When he finally came out of the locker room I met him with a hug and a warm smile.
"Great game tonight babe," I whispered in his ear as I kissed his cheek.
"Thanks."
"Everyone went to Diesel already, are you two in mon ami?" Max asked.
"Not tonight Max. I just want to go home."
"I guess I'll catch you guys later then," Max said with a questioning look on his face. I knew he was silently asking me if I'd be okay.
I nodded and said goodnight before slipping my hand into Sidney's. There was no real attempt to reciprocate. We just walked through the hallways deep within the arena.
"You hungry? We could go get something to eat?" I asked hopefully.
"Everywhere would be too busy after a game; probably not a good idea."
"Do you want to come over? I could make you something."
His phone rang before he had the chance to answer.
"Great," he mumbled. "That didn't take long."
He pushed ignore and shoved the phone back in his pocket. "Troy," he said simply.
"So? Do you want to come over? I can make you a late night breakfast?"
"I'm tired. I just want to go home, get my lickings from Troy and go to bed."
"Sure," I said flatly. We had reached the exit door.
"We should say goodnight here. The parking lot will be full of people waiting for autographs. Did you drive?" he added, almost as an after thought.
"Yes."
For the first time that night he tightened his grip around my hand.
"Thanks for coming tonight Beks. I'm glad you were here."
"Seems like it," I muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. I'll just say goodnight." I leaned in to give him a kiss and he gave me a kiss on the cheek; you know, the kind you give your grandmother or a friend of your friend's sister.
"You can go first," he said. "I'll wait a few minutes."
"Whatever," I replied and started to open the door.
"Beks?"
'Okay,' I thought, 'here it comes. Some sort of emotion. Maybe an I love you.'
"Yes Sidney?"
"Goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I promise."
"Do you think it was asking too much of him?" I asked Max after explaining what had happened only an hour before.
"You gotta know by now how hard it is for him to go anywhere in this town without causing a major ruckus..."
"Don't make excuses Max, I just want a yes or no answer. Am I asking too much for him to take ten minutes out of his life to make a kid's day?"
"Well, when you put it that way...no. But..."
"No buts."
"C'mon bijou it's not that simple."
"Yes it is. I'm not asking him to parade around the hospital and make a spectacle out of himself; and it's not like he doesn't sneak in there all the time to visit me for a few minutes, so what's the difference?" I asked exasperated as I threw myself against the back of the couch.
"I don't know," Max said quietly looking down at his hands. "I don't know. Maybe you just caught him at a bad time, I mean the season starts tomorrow and he's feeling major pressure, not to mention Troy's already on his ass. Give him a little bit to get back in the swing of the season and I'm sure he'll change his mind."
Max joined me against the back of the couch.
"I can't believe the season hasn't even started yet and..." I trailed off.
Max put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him.
"I know," he whispered kissing my forehead, "but you said you knew what you were getting into with this."
"I know," I groaned. "But I figured it would be tough to find time to be together and we wouldn't be able to go out in public, I never thought he'd deny me 10 minutes to make the day of a 16 year old kid. Isn't that what they praise him for in the media and all over the place? How much he gives back to kids?"
"I don't know what to say bijou."
"There is nothing to say Max. There is no excuse that will make it okay."
I cuddled into him and we sat in comfortable silence until I heard the soft, heavy breathing; not quite a snore, of my best friend. Then the guilt set in.
"Max, wake up."
"Hmmm?"
"Max I am sooooo sorry! It's late, I should have never asked you to come over here tonight. You have your first game tomorrow night and I just shouldn't have bothered you."
"Bijou, it's fine. I don't need a lot of sleep; I am a finely tuned athletic machine!"
I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked pretending to be hurt.
"Nothing," I managed between gasps for air. "Seriously though, I am sorry for dragging you out this late."
He pulled me into a hug and said, "Seriously, it's fine. After you being there for me through that whole...thing, it's the least I could do. You know I'm here for you bijou; no matter what."
"I know." Silence. "Max?"
"Yeah?" he yawned.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Me too," he said sleepily. "Since I came all the way over here can I ask you a favour?"
"Anything."
"I am so wiped; is it okay if I just crash here tonight? I don't want to drive."
"Of course! You can take my bed, I'll stay out here."
"I am not putting you out of your own bed, I'll take the couch."
"Absolutely NOT! You have a game tomorrow and I am not going to have you all cramped up from sleeping on this lumpy thing. We're being ridiculous; we are two grown ups..."
"Well you are."
"There is no reason we can't sleep in the same bed."
"Hmmm? I don't know if I'll be able to keep my hands to myself," he said wiggling his eyebrows.
"You're not funny," I said dryly, pulling him up from the couch. "You best be careful cause you know I can kick your ass!"
"Ooooh, you know I like my women feisty!"
"Take it easy superstar, you're keeping all your clothes on!"
"Superstar huh? Hmm, I like it! But I can not sleep with a shirt on, sorry."
We were laying in bed in the complete darkness. It was silent. I was waiting for the sound of Max's breathing to let me know he was asleep, but instead I felt him grab my hand.
"Tell me about Sam," he whispered.
"You need to sleep."
"Please, I want to know about him."
I told Max all about Sam and his crazy antics and finished by saying how much I adored him.
"He sounds hilarious; and like a great kid. And hey, he's got great taste if he's so enamoured with you."
"How could anyone not be?" I said sarcastically.
"I wish I knew," he said quietly.
He pulled me into his side and kissed my forehead. My hand naturally fell on his chest and I immediately thought 'Hairy...how...manly. Definitely not bare and boyish.'
"I don't know how you do what you do. All those sick kids; it's just not fair and I have no idea how you can go to work every day and be like a ray of sunshine to them and their families. I admire you so much bijou. You really are amazing."
I squeezed him letting him know I appreciated his sentiments.
"You're right, it's not fair that these kids have the burden of fighting for their lives before they actually begin living, but someone has to be there for them and be positive and supportive; that's my job."
"I just think...you are just...I just..love you."
I gave him another squeeze before telling him I loved him too and drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the spot in the bed beside me was cold and empty, but on the pillow there was a note.
Bijou,
I wanted to be out of the way before inquiring minds wanted to know. Thank you for allowing me to be there for you the way you've been there for me. I am honoured you trust me enough to share your life with. Don't worry your pretty little head about this, Sid loves you and I know he will see how important this is to you and he'll come through. He always does.
See you after the game tonight.
XOXO
Max
PS Don't for get to wish the superstar good luck!
The Pens won and both my guys had a goal. The mood in the locker room was upbeat except in one particular stall. The one with all the lights, cameras and microphones gathered in front of it. The mood coming from that stall was subdued and stoic. The tone was even and emotionless. By the time the last camera had vacated, all that was left was exhaustion.
Everyone had already left for whatever club they were celebrating their victory at. Max was nice enough to wait with me for Sidney to finish. When he finally came out of the locker room I met him with a hug and a warm smile.
"Great game tonight babe," I whispered in his ear as I kissed his cheek.
"Thanks."
"Everyone went to Diesel already, are you two in mon ami?" Max asked.
"Not tonight Max. I just want to go home."
"I guess I'll catch you guys later then," Max said with a questioning look on his face. I knew he was silently asking me if I'd be okay.
I nodded and said goodnight before slipping my hand into Sidney's. There was no real attempt to reciprocate. We just walked through the hallways deep within the arena.
"You hungry? We could go get something to eat?" I asked hopefully.
"Everywhere would be too busy after a game; probably not a good idea."
"Do you want to come over? I could make you something."
His phone rang before he had the chance to answer.
"Great," he mumbled. "That didn't take long."
He pushed ignore and shoved the phone back in his pocket. "Troy," he said simply.
"So? Do you want to come over? I can make you a late night breakfast?"
"I'm tired. I just want to go home, get my lickings from Troy and go to bed."
"Sure," I said flatly. We had reached the exit door.
"We should say goodnight here. The parking lot will be full of people waiting for autographs. Did you drive?" he added, almost as an after thought.
"Yes."
For the first time that night he tightened his grip around my hand.
"Thanks for coming tonight Beks. I'm glad you were here."
"Seems like it," I muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. I'll just say goodnight." I leaned in to give him a kiss and he gave me a kiss on the cheek; you know, the kind you give your grandmother or a friend of your friend's sister.
"You can go first," he said. "I'll wait a few minutes."
"Whatever," I replied and started to open the door.
"Beks?"
'Okay,' I thought, 'here it comes. Some sort of emotion. Maybe an I love you.'
"Yes Sidney?"
"Goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Chapter 106
Sorry this has taken so long but I've had little to inspire me lately. Enjoy!
I've decided...reality bites!
We've been back in the Burgh for a whopping three weeks and I have seen Sid for a total of 4 hours. He was bombarded with media and personal appearances; three times as many as last season and training camp was kicking the shit out of him.
I was just as swamped at the hospital. While I was living a fantasy for the entire month of August, families from across the states were living a nightmare; one I was all too familiar with.
I have a confession to make. I have fallen madly in love with someone else.
His name was Sam Bradley and he was charming and witty; strong and bold; evil and innocent. He laughed at all my lame jokes and made my entire body ache from laughing at his. He listened attentively when I endlessly rambled and knew exactly what to say and when to say it; more importantly, he knew when to say nothing at all. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of emerald I had ever seen and when he batted those thick dark lashes at you...instant swoon. His hair was the colour of pure dark chocolate and was just long enough to form perfect ringlets at the nape of his neck. Too bad in a few short weeks they would start falling out.
Sam was my newest patient; he was a six foot, high school quarter back from Savannah, Georgia; the perfect southern gentleman. And the accent didn't hurt either!
"So how come I had to come to this god forsaken hell hole of a city to find a Georgia peach?" he asked me one day while I was drawing his blood.
"Easy Romeo, I'm spoken for."
"Well I don't see no ring. No ring means free game."
"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Who do you think you're playing with little boy?"
He broke out out into the most infectious laughter I had ever heard.
"Come on, you are like so hot; smokin' hot! You can't blame a guy for trying."
"You are relentless Sammy. It's a good thing you're cute," I chuckled.
He leapt out of bed screaming "Touchdown!" and doing that goofy end zone dance thing.
"She loves me, ooh yeah, I'm the man, ooh yeah!"
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.
"Sammy get your butt back in this bed right now before you pull all your lines out," I said trying to be stern.
He winced in pain trying to get back in bed.
"See, you can't do that crazy shit anymore. You have to be more careful."
"I am a finely tuned athletic machine. I have played with a sprained ankle; I've played with a torn calf muscle and 3 cracked ribs. Cancer is not going to kick my ass!"
"Oh my sweet boy, I love and admire your fighting spirit," I said while pulling his blankets up over him.
"Don't! Not you. I can't handle that pitiful I feel sorry for you look. Not from you."
I ran my fingers through his luscious curls. "I promise I will never look at you like anything but a star struck fan," I whispered in his ear.
"That's why I love you nurse Jones."
"Ugh, please don't call me that. It's so...formal. Bekah will do just fine."
"So, Bekah...how's your football team? Steelers any good?"
"I have no idea, I'm a Cowboys fan."
"They haven't been the same since Aikman retired," we both said in unison, then laughed hysterically.
"If you tell me you like Nascar and hockey I will declare my undying love for you right now."
"I adored Dale Earnhardt may he rest in peace and love Tony Stewart. Hockey is kind of a passion of mine. I am a Pens girl all the way."
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! God has created the perfect woman! Marry me Bekah Jones!"
"Stop screwing around and let me do my job please."
He settled down a little and let me continue what I needed to do.
"So the Pens huh? I will never admit that I said this cause I'd get the shit kicked out of me but I am a big fan of Crosby's. That guy is amazing."
"I'm a fan too and don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Ever go to any games?"
"I have season tickets."
"Are you freakin' serious?"
"Hey mister, watch your mouth."
"Sorry. Have you ever met any of them, the Pens I mean?"
"One or two."
"Who?"
"I've met Mario before and Max Talbot."
"Talbot, that guy's an animal. He cracks me up."
"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. "Now enough with the questions. You need to rest. I'll be back in a bit to check on you okay? Do you need anything before I go?"
"You could kiss me goodbye?"
"Relentless," I said giving a kiss on top of his head.
"Hey, think I'll get to meet any of the Pens?"
I smiled at him. "You never know when you'll see a penguin waddling by."
Max was spending every free minute he had with us. I knew he was trying to fill up his time because he was still hurting, and as much as I loved having him there to listen to me bitch about my day, I wished it was Sid.
It was the night before the start of the regular season. The Pens started out at home and Sid managed to find a few hours to squeeze me in. Snuggled up on the couch trying to watch a movie, it was the time I had been so desperately craving.
"You remember me telling you about that patient of mine Sam?" I asked him.
"Sam? Doesn't ring a bell."
"The football kid from Georgia who is secretly a hockey fan?"
"Sorry babe."
"Well, he's 16 and just the most amazing kid you'll ever meet. He's already being scouted by every major college in the country and he's a real sweetheart. Anyways, we were talking about Pittsburgh's sports teams and he happened to mention he was a big Pens fan and a big fan of yours, so I was hoping... maybe...you'd have few minutes to stop by and meet him, maybe spend a few minutes with him?"
"You know all that stuff goes through the public relations department. You could check with Gina, see when and if I'm available."
"Are you kidding? I'm talking about ten minutes here; just pop in and say hi, shoot the shit for a few minutes and make the kid's day."
"I can't promise anything. You know better than anyone how jammed my schedule is and now that the season is starting, it's going to get worse. I'd be happy to do it Beks, but it will have to go through the department. I can't just show up at a hospital."
"Yes you can, you've popped in just to say hi or have a cup of coffee with me?"
"That's different. I'm hidden when I do that."
"Forget about it, just pretend I didn't ask," I said putting my head back down in his lap.
"Now you're mad."
"I'm not mad; just...disappointed."
"I'm sorry, I just can't make that kind of promise right now."
"I said forget about it okay. It's late and I'm beat; I'm sure you need to get home to bed too. Why don't we call it a night?"
He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not leaving if you're mad at me."
"I told you I'm not mad."
"Yes you are."
"Sid, I am not going to argue about this, just get going okay? I'll see you tomorrow night after the game."
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you," he stressed before opening the door.
"I love you too. Good luck tomorrow night."
When he was gone I plunked myself down on the couch.
'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just the beginning.'
Even though I knew it was going to be this way, it still made me angry. It was one thing to not have the time to spend with me, but I was only asking him for a lousy ten minutes to make the day of a kid who probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday and that burned my ass!
Without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and dialed.
the voice on the other end was gruff and a little groggy.
"Can you come over?" I asked.
"Be there in ten."
"Thanks Maxie."
I've decided...reality bites!
We've been back in the Burgh for a whopping three weeks and I have seen Sid for a total of 4 hours. He was bombarded with media and personal appearances; three times as many as last season and training camp was kicking the shit out of him.
I was just as swamped at the hospital. While I was living a fantasy for the entire month of August, families from across the states were living a nightmare; one I was all too familiar with.
I have a confession to make. I have fallen madly in love with someone else.
His name was Sam Bradley and he was charming and witty; strong and bold; evil and innocent. He laughed at all my lame jokes and made my entire body ache from laughing at his. He listened attentively when I endlessly rambled and knew exactly what to say and when to say it; more importantly, he knew when to say nothing at all. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of emerald I had ever seen and when he batted those thick dark lashes at you...instant swoon. His hair was the colour of pure dark chocolate and was just long enough to form perfect ringlets at the nape of his neck. Too bad in a few short weeks they would start falling out.
Sam was my newest patient; he was a six foot, high school quarter back from Savannah, Georgia; the perfect southern gentleman. And the accent didn't hurt either!
"So how come I had to come to this god forsaken hell hole of a city to find a Georgia peach?" he asked me one day while I was drawing his blood.
"Easy Romeo, I'm spoken for."
"Well I don't see no ring. No ring means free game."
"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Who do you think you're playing with little boy?"
He broke out out into the most infectious laughter I had ever heard.
"Come on, you are like so hot; smokin' hot! You can't blame a guy for trying."
"You are relentless Sammy. It's a good thing you're cute," I chuckled.
He leapt out of bed screaming "Touchdown!" and doing that goofy end zone dance thing.
"She loves me, ooh yeah, I'm the man, ooh yeah!"
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.
"Sammy get your butt back in this bed right now before you pull all your lines out," I said trying to be stern.
He winced in pain trying to get back in bed.
"See, you can't do that crazy shit anymore. You have to be more careful."
"I am a finely tuned athletic machine. I have played with a sprained ankle; I've played with a torn calf muscle and 3 cracked ribs. Cancer is not going to kick my ass!"
"Oh my sweet boy, I love and admire your fighting spirit," I said while pulling his blankets up over him.
"Don't! Not you. I can't handle that pitiful I feel sorry for you look. Not from you."
I ran my fingers through his luscious curls. "I promise I will never look at you like anything but a star struck fan," I whispered in his ear.
"That's why I love you nurse Jones."
"Ugh, please don't call me that. It's so...formal. Bekah will do just fine."
"So, Bekah...how's your football team? Steelers any good?"
"I have no idea, I'm a Cowboys fan."
"They haven't been the same since Aikman retired," we both said in unison, then laughed hysterically.
"If you tell me you like Nascar and hockey I will declare my undying love for you right now."
"I adored Dale Earnhardt may he rest in peace and love Tony Stewart. Hockey is kind of a passion of mine. I am a Pens girl all the way."
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! God has created the perfect woman! Marry me Bekah Jones!"
"Stop screwing around and let me do my job please."
He settled down a little and let me continue what I needed to do.
"So the Pens huh? I will never admit that I said this cause I'd get the shit kicked out of me but I am a big fan of Crosby's. That guy is amazing."
"I'm a fan too and don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Ever go to any games?"
"I have season tickets."
"Are you freakin' serious?"
"Hey mister, watch your mouth."
"Sorry. Have you ever met any of them, the Pens I mean?"
"One or two."
"Who?"
"I've met Mario before and Max Talbot."
"Talbot, that guy's an animal. He cracks me up."
"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. "Now enough with the questions. You need to rest. I'll be back in a bit to check on you okay? Do you need anything before I go?"
"You could kiss me goodbye?"
"Relentless," I said giving a kiss on top of his head.
"Hey, think I'll get to meet any of the Pens?"
I smiled at him. "You never know when you'll see a penguin waddling by."
Max was spending every free minute he had with us. I knew he was trying to fill up his time because he was still hurting, and as much as I loved having him there to listen to me bitch about my day, I wished it was Sid.
It was the night before the start of the regular season. The Pens started out at home and Sid managed to find a few hours to squeeze me in. Snuggled up on the couch trying to watch a movie, it was the time I had been so desperately craving.
"You remember me telling you about that patient of mine Sam?" I asked him.
"Sam? Doesn't ring a bell."
"The football kid from Georgia who is secretly a hockey fan?"
"Sorry babe."
"Well, he's 16 and just the most amazing kid you'll ever meet. He's already being scouted by every major college in the country and he's a real sweetheart. Anyways, we were talking about Pittsburgh's sports teams and he happened to mention he was a big Pens fan and a big fan of yours, so I was hoping... maybe...you'd have few minutes to stop by and meet him, maybe spend a few minutes with him?"
"You know all that stuff goes through the public relations department. You could check with Gina, see when and if I'm available."
"Are you kidding? I'm talking about ten minutes here; just pop in and say hi, shoot the shit for a few minutes and make the kid's day."
"I can't promise anything. You know better than anyone how jammed my schedule is and now that the season is starting, it's going to get worse. I'd be happy to do it Beks, but it will have to go through the department. I can't just show up at a hospital."
"Yes you can, you've popped in just to say hi or have a cup of coffee with me?"
"That's different. I'm hidden when I do that."
"Forget about it, just pretend I didn't ask," I said putting my head back down in his lap.
"Now you're mad."
"I'm not mad; just...disappointed."
"I'm sorry, I just can't make that kind of promise right now."
"I said forget about it okay. It's late and I'm beat; I'm sure you need to get home to bed too. Why don't we call it a night?"
He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not leaving if you're mad at me."
"I told you I'm not mad."
"Yes you are."
"Sid, I am not going to argue about this, just get going okay? I'll see you tomorrow night after the game."
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you," he stressed before opening the door.
"I love you too. Good luck tomorrow night."
When he was gone I plunked myself down on the couch.
'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just the beginning.'
Even though I knew it was going to be this way, it still made me angry. It was one thing to not have the time to spend with me, but I was only asking him for a lousy ten minutes to make the day of a kid who probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday and that burned my ass!
Without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and dialed.
the voice on the other end was gruff and a little groggy.
"Can you come over?" I asked.
"Be there in ten."
"Thanks Maxie."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Chapter 105
Sorry this chapter is a long one but it's kind of a filler with alot of background info that will be important in the future. Happy reading!
The rest of August was like being in the middle of a really vivid dream that you just can't remember when you wake up.
The boys had the time of their lives with Taylor, spending their days playing hockey or out on the water. I had to pinch myself every so often to make sure it was real. Trina and I were getting very close; and even though I was closer in age to her than I was to Sidney, she was like the mother I never had; the mother I longed to have. And as for the men...Troy was developing quite the bond himself with the boys. Personally I thought he saw them as two more little hockey prodigies; not anywhere near the the caliber of saint Sidney, but prodigies none the less. We were like this happy little...dare I say family, and most days it made my heart melt. This was what it was like to be part of a family who loved you. This was what my boys had missed out on their entire lives...aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. But there were also days that it made me sad that my own "parents" were missing out on the lives of these two incredible children. And it pissed me off that they had no idea that the daughter they said would never amount to anything but a "pathetic welfare mom" had carved out this wonderful life for herself and her children.
Trina and I were sitting on the back deck one night watching Sid and Troy play touch football with the kids and we somehow got talking about my so-called family. I was more than happy to share stories about my brother and my grandmother, but when it came to the parental units I really didn't want to say anything. Yes, I had told Lily and Max and Sid about my parents but I had never told them everything and I had never let the full extent of my hurt and anger show. There was just something about Trina's face and her warm and caring manner that made me feel like I could tell her everything. I told her how cold my father was; always buried in his work, late nights at the office, long business trips, not interested in anything but his next acquisition. He didn't marry for love, he married to acquire status. He had grown up modestly and worked all through high school so he could go to college and get away from his own parents. His dad was always unemployed and spent most of his time in bars and going home with whatever sucker he could lure in for the night while his dutiful and loyal mother stayed at home with her son waiting for her husband to come home. James (my father) had zero respect for either of his parents; his father for running around on his mother and his mother for being a door mat and letting his father walk all over her. He swore once he left he would forget about his low life parents and never look back.
He met Janine (my mother) in college. She was the debutante who wore dresses and pearls to every class, she would not be caught dead in pants. "Pants are for low-class trashy girls who can't afford to dress like young ladies" she would say to me. Imagine her disappointment when she had a tom-boy as a daughter! Imagine her outrage when her own mother bought that daughter more pants than she could ever wear in a life time. That was the love-hate relationship between Grandma Kate and her daughter. James knew that Janine was the one he needed to latch on to. Great bloodlines, country club membership, summer houses, and money. All things he didn't have but would sell his soul to get. And that he did! Immediately after graduation they had married and James was able to start his business with the hefty sum of money his new father-in-law had given him as a wedding gift. And so it began. A loveless marriage maintained solely for the purpose of appearances. When my mother had complications after giving birth to David, she was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children. That was unacceptable for the image of the perfect family. It took a few years, but then they adopted me.
Life was like you see in the movies; four people putting on a show when in public, but in the privacy of their own home, they were merely four people existing under the same roof, paths never crossing, no one ever speaking. Without David and Gram, life would have been unbearable. That's why I ran wild after they both died; for survival and sanity. My mother was a raging alcoholic disguised under the pretense of being a social drinker (which is why she 'socialized' at the club every night) and my father carried on not showing any interest in anything but work until one day that changed. He began to show interest in something other than work...he was interested in me. I couldn't understand why all of a sudden he cared about everything I did; who my friends were, my school activities, it was bizarre. But it was the attention I had longed for all my life and I was happy I was finally getting it.
This only gave my mother more reason to hate me. She was jealous that my father was paying so much attention to me and not her. I certainly took advantage of it too; rubbing it in every chance I got. One night, after my mother had passed out, that attention became a little more than I had bargained for.
He came to my room after I was asleep. I was woken up when his hands touched my breasts and moved down between my legs. I screamed at him and he quickly put his hand over my mouth and told me to hush. I cried as he began to unbuckle his belt, all the while telling me he knew I wanted it and it was okay because we weren't really blood related. As he was about to force himself inside me, I reached for the stone bookend on my head board and struck him over the head with it. He screamed out it pain and I bolted out of my bed and over to the other side of the room. I picked up the phone and threatened to call the police. When he laughed at me and practically dared me to do it I was furious.
"Go ahead you little bitch, call the police. Who do you think they'll believe...a little whore like you or a well respected, financially generous member of society like me?"
As he started moving towards me I knew I had to change my tactic. I grabbed the antique letter opener that had belonged to my grandmother off my desk and pointed at this throat.
"If you ever touch me again I will kill you!" I threatened.
"You don't have it in you," he laughed at me.
"Oh no? Try me."
He came towards me and tried to grab me by the shoulders when I lunged at him. I stabbed him in the arm and he yelled out in pain once again.
"You little bitch!"
"Get the fuck away from me now!" I screamed at him, "Or I swear, next time it will be in your heart."
"You ungrateful little bitch! After all I've done for you. Adopting you was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have known better than to take something no one else wanted!"
"Get out before I put this thing right through your heart," I said again.
"You will regret this you little bitch," he spat before storming out of the room.
I cried the whole time I was throwing clothes into a bag. I was not staying there a second longer than I needed to. I had no idea where I found the strength to stand up to him; all I knew was I had to. I had to protect the baby I was carrying. I moved in with Jeff's family that night.
Trina and I were both in tears by the time I had finished the story. After all this time I was still embarrassed and ashamed. I begged her not to tell Sidney. She promised that my secret was safe with her and wrapped me in a motherly hug.
"It's time to put the past behind you and move forward honey," she said. "You have us now. We're your family now."
Such a burden was lifted from my shoulders that night, and not another word was ever spoken about it.
Then there was crazy cousin Max. He stayed in Nova Scotia with us for a few weeks to relax and clear his head. He put on a really good show that the whole deal with the bimbo wasn't bothering him, but every now and then he let a little something show, or a little something slip out that only I picked up on that told me he was hurting inside. Sidney made sure to take the kids out so Max and I could spend some quality time together. We both appreciated it and it gave us a chance to become even closer.
The rest of the time Sidney and I spent with the architect, the contractors and the interior designers working out the details of the renovations to the new house. Sid was adamant that I be part of every decision.
"I want this house to be part of you too. I want to be able to feel your presence when I look at the chair you picked out or the art you hung on the wall. This place is for all of us. I think the boys should be able to help design their rooms too. Pick out the paint colour and all that stuff."
I never thought in a million years I would be part of designing a million dollar summer home that in theory I would someday be sharing with the most perfect man on the planet. I could not believe how lucky I was.
On our last night in Nova Scotia we had a huge family dinner at his parent's house. Everyone shed a few tears when we were getting ready to leave. We were going to stay at the house one last time before the work started on it. The next time we came back, Sid (and I) would have our dream house on the lake. He hugged and kissed his grandmothers and promised to behave back in Pittsburgh. The boys begged to stay at the Crosby's with Taylor since it was the last night here. Troy and Trina practically begged us to let them stay too. Once all the goodbyes were said, Sidney and I headed for the 'lake house' as we affectionately called it.
After making love one last time where it had all started, Sidney and I laid in bed with nothing but the sound of the crickets chirping in the background.
"I wish I could bottle this feeling so I could have it forever," he whispered placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I don't want this to end."
"Neither do I. You have given me the most perfect summer; I don't know how I can ever thank you for these memories."
"You don't need to thank me. But I want you to hold on to these memories and think back to these days when we go back to the Burgh, because when we go back everything will change."
"I know," I sighed. "Then I go back to sharing you with an entire city and an entire legion of female fans throwing themselves at you. Good times!"
"I know it sucks baby and I know it's going to be hard keeping our relationship a secret, but we'll be okay as long as you remember that I love you; I want to be with you and nobody else; and we remember the time we spent here, where it was just Bekah and Sid and Jake and Alex. Deal"
"You drive a hard bargain Mr. Crosby, but you got yourself a deal. I know we're not going to have the ideal relationship, and I understand why we have to keep it a secret, but it doesn't mean I have to like it! I will do it because I love you and it's important for you but I hate the idea of not being able to shout from the rooftops that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world."
"You need to be prepared for everything you're going to hear and everything you're going to read. There will be stories based on part truths and there will be out and out lies. They will speculate about my personal life and if I'm so much as seen in a room with a girl, there will be stories that I'm dating her."
"Sid, I know all this already."
"I know we've talked about it before, but talking about it and living it every day is totally different. It's hard Beks and I just want you to really know what you're getting into."
"I get it Sid. I'm ready, I promise. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters," I said kissing him sweetly on the lips.
"I hope you're right baby."
"I am. Let's not worry about it tonight okay? I want our last night here to be as special as our first was."
"I think I can make that happen," he smirked rolling over on top of me. "Can you promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"Don't ever google Sidney Crosby's girlfriend okay?"
The rest of August was like being in the middle of a really vivid dream that you just can't remember when you wake up.
The boys had the time of their lives with Taylor, spending their days playing hockey or out on the water. I had to pinch myself every so often to make sure it was real. Trina and I were getting very close; and even though I was closer in age to her than I was to Sidney, she was like the mother I never had; the mother I longed to have. And as for the men...Troy was developing quite the bond himself with the boys. Personally I thought he saw them as two more little hockey prodigies; not anywhere near the the caliber of saint Sidney, but prodigies none the less. We were like this happy little...dare I say family, and most days it made my heart melt. This was what it was like to be part of a family who loved you. This was what my boys had missed out on their entire lives...aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. But there were also days that it made me sad that my own "parents" were missing out on the lives of these two incredible children. And it pissed me off that they had no idea that the daughter they said would never amount to anything but a "pathetic welfare mom" had carved out this wonderful life for herself and her children.
Trina and I were sitting on the back deck one night watching Sid and Troy play touch football with the kids and we somehow got talking about my so-called family. I was more than happy to share stories about my brother and my grandmother, but when it came to the parental units I really didn't want to say anything. Yes, I had told Lily and Max and Sid about my parents but I had never told them everything and I had never let the full extent of my hurt and anger show. There was just something about Trina's face and her warm and caring manner that made me feel like I could tell her everything. I told her how cold my father was; always buried in his work, late nights at the office, long business trips, not interested in anything but his next acquisition. He didn't marry for love, he married to acquire status. He had grown up modestly and worked all through high school so he could go to college and get away from his own parents. His dad was always unemployed and spent most of his time in bars and going home with whatever sucker he could lure in for the night while his dutiful and loyal mother stayed at home with her son waiting for her husband to come home. James (my father) had zero respect for either of his parents; his father for running around on his mother and his mother for being a door mat and letting his father walk all over her. He swore once he left he would forget about his low life parents and never look back.
He met Janine (my mother) in college. She was the debutante who wore dresses and pearls to every class, she would not be caught dead in pants. "Pants are for low-class trashy girls who can't afford to dress like young ladies" she would say to me. Imagine her disappointment when she had a tom-boy as a daughter! Imagine her outrage when her own mother bought that daughter more pants than she could ever wear in a life time. That was the love-hate relationship between Grandma Kate and her daughter. James knew that Janine was the one he needed to latch on to. Great bloodlines, country club membership, summer houses, and money. All things he didn't have but would sell his soul to get. And that he did! Immediately after graduation they had married and James was able to start his business with the hefty sum of money his new father-in-law had given him as a wedding gift. And so it began. A loveless marriage maintained solely for the purpose of appearances. When my mother had complications after giving birth to David, she was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children. That was unacceptable for the image of the perfect family. It took a few years, but then they adopted me.
Life was like you see in the movies; four people putting on a show when in public, but in the privacy of their own home, they were merely four people existing under the same roof, paths never crossing, no one ever speaking. Without David and Gram, life would have been unbearable. That's why I ran wild after they both died; for survival and sanity. My mother was a raging alcoholic disguised under the pretense of being a social drinker (which is why she 'socialized' at the club every night) and my father carried on not showing any interest in anything but work until one day that changed. He began to show interest in something other than work...he was interested in me. I couldn't understand why all of a sudden he cared about everything I did; who my friends were, my school activities, it was bizarre. But it was the attention I had longed for all my life and I was happy I was finally getting it.
This only gave my mother more reason to hate me. She was jealous that my father was paying so much attention to me and not her. I certainly took advantage of it too; rubbing it in every chance I got. One night, after my mother had passed out, that attention became a little more than I had bargained for.
He came to my room after I was asleep. I was woken up when his hands touched my breasts and moved down between my legs. I screamed at him and he quickly put his hand over my mouth and told me to hush. I cried as he began to unbuckle his belt, all the while telling me he knew I wanted it and it was okay because we weren't really blood related. As he was about to force himself inside me, I reached for the stone bookend on my head board and struck him over the head with it. He screamed out it pain and I bolted out of my bed and over to the other side of the room. I picked up the phone and threatened to call the police. When he laughed at me and practically dared me to do it I was furious.
"Go ahead you little bitch, call the police. Who do you think they'll believe...a little whore like you or a well respected, financially generous member of society like me?"
As he started moving towards me I knew I had to change my tactic. I grabbed the antique letter opener that had belonged to my grandmother off my desk and pointed at this throat.
"If you ever touch me again I will kill you!" I threatened.
"You don't have it in you," he laughed at me.
"Oh no? Try me."
He came towards me and tried to grab me by the shoulders when I lunged at him. I stabbed him in the arm and he yelled out in pain once again.
"You little bitch!"
"Get the fuck away from me now!" I screamed at him, "Or I swear, next time it will be in your heart."
"You ungrateful little bitch! After all I've done for you. Adopting you was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have known better than to take something no one else wanted!"
"Get out before I put this thing right through your heart," I said again.
"You will regret this you little bitch," he spat before storming out of the room.
I cried the whole time I was throwing clothes into a bag. I was not staying there a second longer than I needed to. I had no idea where I found the strength to stand up to him; all I knew was I had to. I had to protect the baby I was carrying. I moved in with Jeff's family that night.
Trina and I were both in tears by the time I had finished the story. After all this time I was still embarrassed and ashamed. I begged her not to tell Sidney. She promised that my secret was safe with her and wrapped me in a motherly hug.
"It's time to put the past behind you and move forward honey," she said. "You have us now. We're your family now."
Such a burden was lifted from my shoulders that night, and not another word was ever spoken about it.
Then there was crazy cousin Max. He stayed in Nova Scotia with us for a few weeks to relax and clear his head. He put on a really good show that the whole deal with the bimbo wasn't bothering him, but every now and then he let a little something show, or a little something slip out that only I picked up on that told me he was hurting inside. Sidney made sure to take the kids out so Max and I could spend some quality time together. We both appreciated it and it gave us a chance to become even closer.
The rest of the time Sidney and I spent with the architect, the contractors and the interior designers working out the details of the renovations to the new house. Sid was adamant that I be part of every decision.
"I want this house to be part of you too. I want to be able to feel your presence when I look at the chair you picked out or the art you hung on the wall. This place is for all of us. I think the boys should be able to help design their rooms too. Pick out the paint colour and all that stuff."
I never thought in a million years I would be part of designing a million dollar summer home that in theory I would someday be sharing with the most perfect man on the planet. I could not believe how lucky I was.
On our last night in Nova Scotia we had a huge family dinner at his parent's house. Everyone shed a few tears when we were getting ready to leave. We were going to stay at the house one last time before the work started on it. The next time we came back, Sid (and I) would have our dream house on the lake. He hugged and kissed his grandmothers and promised to behave back in Pittsburgh. The boys begged to stay at the Crosby's with Taylor since it was the last night here. Troy and Trina practically begged us to let them stay too. Once all the goodbyes were said, Sidney and I headed for the 'lake house' as we affectionately called it.
After making love one last time where it had all started, Sidney and I laid in bed with nothing but the sound of the crickets chirping in the background.
"I wish I could bottle this feeling so I could have it forever," he whispered placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I don't want this to end."
"Neither do I. You have given me the most perfect summer; I don't know how I can ever thank you for these memories."
"You don't need to thank me. But I want you to hold on to these memories and think back to these days when we go back to the Burgh, because when we go back everything will change."
"I know," I sighed. "Then I go back to sharing you with an entire city and an entire legion of female fans throwing themselves at you. Good times!"
"I know it sucks baby and I know it's going to be hard keeping our relationship a secret, but we'll be okay as long as you remember that I love you; I want to be with you and nobody else; and we remember the time we spent here, where it was just Bekah and Sid and Jake and Alex. Deal"
"You drive a hard bargain Mr. Crosby, but you got yourself a deal. I know we're not going to have the ideal relationship, and I understand why we have to keep it a secret, but it doesn't mean I have to like it! I will do it because I love you and it's important for you but I hate the idea of not being able to shout from the rooftops that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world."
"You need to be prepared for everything you're going to hear and everything you're going to read. There will be stories based on part truths and there will be out and out lies. They will speculate about my personal life and if I'm so much as seen in a room with a girl, there will be stories that I'm dating her."
"Sid, I know all this already."
"I know we've talked about it before, but talking about it and living it every day is totally different. It's hard Beks and I just want you to really know what you're getting into."
"I get it Sid. I'm ready, I promise. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters," I said kissing him sweetly on the lips.
"I hope you're right baby."
"I am. Let's not worry about it tonight okay? I want our last night here to be as special as our first was."
"I think I can make that happen," he smirked rolling over on top of me. "Can you promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"Don't ever google Sidney Crosby's girlfriend okay?"
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I'm still alive!
Yes, it's true! I have not dropped off the face of the earth. It's just the same old song and dance; caught up in life and school. Just finished 3 massive assignments that were all due on the same day thank you very much! What a sense of relief. And although it sucks for my personal sanity and for you readers, I promised myself I wouldn't and resisted the urge to write until they were done. Updating both my stories will be my reward for staying focused and getting them done. I hope to have updates soon (by the end of the week at the latest) so please bare with me!
On a bit of a happier note, turns out my budding hockey super star is also a budding baseball star too! He is tearing it up on the diamond and his team is undefeated so far! I am so proud of him. My oldest's team is not as fortunate but he is playing really well and I am equally proud of him for handling his defeats with grace and dignity! That being said, give me a cold arena over the hot, humid baseball diamond any day! Is it October yet?
I know I say this alot but thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me and this story. Your loyalty means the world and so do your comments!
Love you guys!
~B~
On a bit of a happier note, turns out my budding hockey super star is also a budding baseball star too! He is tearing it up on the diamond and his team is undefeated so far! I am so proud of him. My oldest's team is not as fortunate but he is playing really well and I am equally proud of him for handling his defeats with grace and dignity! That being said, give me a cold arena over the hot, humid baseball diamond any day! Is it October yet?
I know I say this alot but thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me and this story. Your loyalty means the world and so do your comments!
Love you guys!
~B~
Monday, May 17, 2010
Chapter 104
I took a deep breath before knocking on the door; trying to prepare myself for the mess I was about to walk into.
knock knock knock
"Bon matin bijou! Come on in. Where's Sid? Do you want to go get some breakfast?"
"Max?" I said hesitantly. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean? Nothing's going on. Are we gettin' some breakfast or what, I'm starving!"
"Max, just stop," I demanded grabbing him by the arm. "You're going a hundred miles an hour in this fake happy mode and you just need to stop. Sit down and talk to me a minute would you?"
"What do you want to talk about?" he asked sitting across from me at the small table in his room.
"Seriously? Max it's me you're talking to. ALOT happened last night; I figured you'd want to talk about it."
"Nope, I'm good. Can we eat?" he said getting up and grabbing the door knob.
"MAXIME TALBOT SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THIS CHAIR NOW!"
Max did as instructed. He had never heard Bekah like that before and he sure in the hell wasn't going to piss her off anymore.
"Thank you. Now, I know you must be heartbroken after what happened last night so just talk to me."
"I don't know why you're pushing this Beks; you never liked her anyways."
"No I didn't, but I love you and it's you that I'm worried about."
"No worries bijou. I'm fine."
"You promised me you would never lie to me."
"What do you want me to say? You were right? I thought I could be in love with her and she ripped my heart out?"
"Yes! Because that's the truth!"
"But it's not. That person I thought I was in love with doesn't exist. She was a lie and a liar. It just proves that I need to stick with my original theory."
"And what theory is that?"
"Never fall in love. If you don't give your heart to anyone, they can't break it. The old Max is back baby. Hot girls, lots of no strings attached sex; that's the life baby!"
"That's ridiculous and disgusting and no way to live your life Max. You have to keep yourself open to falling in love again."
"Oh, like you did? That's the pot calling the kettle black don't ya think?"
"Exactly! I can tell you how stupid it is because I made the same stupid mistake. Look at everything I was missing out on. I can't get those years back Max, and I don't want to see you miss out on love because you have this stupid theory. There are alot of great girls out there and someone is going to fall in love with you for the incredible person you are. I did."
"You're...in love with me?"
"I just meant that despite you're crusty exterior and disgusting views on women and your man whore tendencies, I am still able to find the good, kind, funny, loyal, put everybody else before yourself, and yes, occasionally sexy sides of you and that's why I love you. I would not be living this amazing life without you and I just want you to have the same kind of joy and love that I have."
"But I will. I have you and the boys for all that mushy love, emotional family feel good stuff plus I will be having as much nasty sex as I want. What could be better?"
I just shook my head. I knew I was defeated and there was no point in arguing any further.
"I'm not going to win this one am I?"
"Nope. Can we eat now?"
"Fine."
"So where's the kid this morning?" Max asked in the car on the way to where else; Timmies.
"At his parents' house. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see him or not."
"I'm fine. Really. I know it wasn't his fault. Where are the boys?"
"They're there too. They spent the night there."
"And were did you spend the night?"
"That's none of your business."
"Come on, cheer me up!"
"I thought you said you were fine."
"I am, just spill it."
"Sid and I spent the night at his new house."
"Oh my God! The kid finally got laid!!" he screamed.
"Max!"
"Oh my God! So did you!" he said a little quieter. "How was it?"
"That is wrong on so many levels Max. Do you honestly expect me to tell you details about my sex life with Sid?"
"That's what we do girl. Did you think that locker room talk was a myth?"
"I was hoping."
"Well, you don't need to worry. The kid would never spill his guts, so anything we say about your sex life will be purely made up by us."
"Max, I would hope as my best friend you would defend my honour and dignity and not allow any kind of talk about my sex life to happen."
"You know I will bijou. But as your best friend, I want to know how you're doing. You don't have to give me details but I know this was a big step for you; for both of you. Was it everything you hoped it would be?"
"Maxie, it was so much more than I could have ever imagined. So perfect I could never have dreamed it."
"I would expect nothing less from the kid."
We drove the rest of the way in silence. I was about to get out of the car when Max placed his hand on my arm stopping me from moving.
"Can I ask you something bijou?"
"Anything."
"Do you really think there's one girl out there who's going to fall in love with me for me?"
"Without a doubt."
"Will she be as amazing as you are?"
"That's highly unlikely. There is no one as amazing as I am," I replied jokingly. "But she will be perfect for you."
"One more question?"
"I thought you were starving?" I teased.
"It's important."
"Ok, shoot."
"Are you happy? I mean truly happy. Does Sid make you happy?"
"That's three questions I think."
"Does Sidney make you happy?"
The ever present glimmer in his blue eyes was gone; replaced by...I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
"Yes Maxie. Sidney makes me happy."
He kissed the back of my hand and gave a half smile.
"Then I'm happy too."
knock knock knock
"Bon matin bijou! Come on in. Where's Sid? Do you want to go get some breakfast?"
"Max?" I said hesitantly. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean? Nothing's going on. Are we gettin' some breakfast or what, I'm starving!"
"Max, just stop," I demanded grabbing him by the arm. "You're going a hundred miles an hour in this fake happy mode and you just need to stop. Sit down and talk to me a minute would you?"
"What do you want to talk about?" he asked sitting across from me at the small table in his room.
"Seriously? Max it's me you're talking to. ALOT happened last night; I figured you'd want to talk about it."
"Nope, I'm good. Can we eat?" he said getting up and grabbing the door knob.
"MAXIME TALBOT SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THIS CHAIR NOW!"
Max did as instructed. He had never heard Bekah like that before and he sure in the hell wasn't going to piss her off anymore.
"Thank you. Now, I know you must be heartbroken after what happened last night so just talk to me."
"I don't know why you're pushing this Beks; you never liked her anyways."
"No I didn't, but I love you and it's you that I'm worried about."
"No worries bijou. I'm fine."
"You promised me you would never lie to me."
"What do you want me to say? You were right? I thought I could be in love with her and she ripped my heart out?"
"Yes! Because that's the truth!"
"But it's not. That person I thought I was in love with doesn't exist. She was a lie and a liar. It just proves that I need to stick with my original theory."
"And what theory is that?"
"Never fall in love. If you don't give your heart to anyone, they can't break it. The old Max is back baby. Hot girls, lots of no strings attached sex; that's the life baby!"
"That's ridiculous and disgusting and no way to live your life Max. You have to keep yourself open to falling in love again."
"Oh, like you did? That's the pot calling the kettle black don't ya think?"
"Exactly! I can tell you how stupid it is because I made the same stupid mistake. Look at everything I was missing out on. I can't get those years back Max, and I don't want to see you miss out on love because you have this stupid theory. There are alot of great girls out there and someone is going to fall in love with you for the incredible person you are. I did."
"You're...in love with me?"
"I just meant that despite you're crusty exterior and disgusting views on women and your man whore tendencies, I am still able to find the good, kind, funny, loyal, put everybody else before yourself, and yes, occasionally sexy sides of you and that's why I love you. I would not be living this amazing life without you and I just want you to have the same kind of joy and love that I have."
"But I will. I have you and the boys for all that mushy love, emotional family feel good stuff plus I will be having as much nasty sex as I want. What could be better?"
I just shook my head. I knew I was defeated and there was no point in arguing any further.
"I'm not going to win this one am I?"
"Nope. Can we eat now?"
"Fine."
"So where's the kid this morning?" Max asked in the car on the way to where else; Timmies.
"At his parents' house. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see him or not."
"I'm fine. Really. I know it wasn't his fault. Where are the boys?"
"They're there too. They spent the night there."
"And were did you spend the night?"
"That's none of your business."
"Come on, cheer me up!"
"I thought you said you were fine."
"I am, just spill it."
"Sid and I spent the night at his new house."
"Oh my God! The kid finally got laid!!" he screamed.
"Max!"
"Oh my God! So did you!" he said a little quieter. "How was it?"
"That is wrong on so many levels Max. Do you honestly expect me to tell you details about my sex life with Sid?"
"That's what we do girl. Did you think that locker room talk was a myth?"
"I was hoping."
"Well, you don't need to worry. The kid would never spill his guts, so anything we say about your sex life will be purely made up by us."
"Max, I would hope as my best friend you would defend my honour and dignity and not allow any kind of talk about my sex life to happen."
"You know I will bijou. But as your best friend, I want to know how you're doing. You don't have to give me details but I know this was a big step for you; for both of you. Was it everything you hoped it would be?"
"Maxie, it was so much more than I could have ever imagined. So perfect I could never have dreamed it."
"I would expect nothing less from the kid."
We drove the rest of the way in silence. I was about to get out of the car when Max placed his hand on my arm stopping me from moving.
"Can I ask you something bijou?"
"Anything."
"Do you really think there's one girl out there who's going to fall in love with me for me?"
"Without a doubt."
"Will she be as amazing as you are?"
"That's highly unlikely. There is no one as amazing as I am," I replied jokingly. "But she will be perfect for you."
"One more question?"
"I thought you were starving?" I teased.
"It's important."
"Ok, shoot."
"Are you happy? I mean truly happy. Does Sid make you happy?"
"That's three questions I think."
"Does Sidney make you happy?"
The ever present glimmer in his blue eyes was gone; replaced by...I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
"Yes Maxie. Sidney makes me happy."
He kissed the back of my hand and gave a half smile.
"Then I'm happy too."
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