Chapter 106

Sorry this has taken so long but I've had little to inspire me lately. Enjoy!





I've decided...reality bites!
We've been back in the Burgh for a whopping three weeks and I have seen Sid for a total of 4 hours. He was bombarded with media and personal appearances; three times as many as last season and training camp was kicking the shit out of him.
I was just as swamped at the hospital. While I was living a fantasy for the entire month of August, families from across the states were living a nightmare; one I was all too familiar with.

I have a confession to make. I have fallen madly in love with someone else.
His name was Sam Bradley and he was charming and witty; strong and bold; evil and innocent. He laughed at all my lame jokes and made my entire body ache from laughing at his. He listened attentively when I endlessly rambled and knew exactly what to say and when to say it; more importantly, he knew when to say nothing at all. His eyes were the most brilliant shade of emerald I had ever seen and when he batted those thick dark lashes at you...instant swoon. His hair was the colour of pure dark chocolate and was just long enough to form perfect ringlets at the nape of his neck. Too bad in a few short weeks they would start falling out.
Sam was my newest patient; he was a six foot, high school quarter back from Savannah, Georgia; the perfect southern gentleman. And the accent didn't hurt either!

"So how come I had to come to this god forsaken hell hole of a city to find a Georgia peach?" he asked me one day while I was drawing his blood.
"Easy Romeo, I'm spoken for."
"Well I don't see no ring. No ring means free game."
"Seriously?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Who do you think you're playing with little boy?"
He broke out out into the most infectious laughter I had ever heard.
"Come on, you are like so hot; smokin' hot! You can't blame a guy for trying."
"You are relentless Sammy. It's a good thing you're cute," I chuckled.
He leapt out of bed screaming "Touchdown!" and doing that goofy end zone dance thing.
"She loves me, ooh yeah, I'm the man, ooh yeah!"
I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.
"Sammy get your butt back in this bed right now before you pull all your lines out," I said trying to be stern.
He winced in pain trying to get back in bed.
"See, you can't do that crazy shit anymore. You have to be more careful."
"I am a finely tuned athletic machine. I have played with a sprained ankle; I've played with a torn calf muscle and 3 cracked ribs. Cancer is not going to kick my ass!"
"Oh my sweet boy, I love and admire your fighting spirit," I said while pulling his blankets up over him.
"Don't! Not you. I can't handle that pitiful I feel sorry for you look. Not from you."
I ran my fingers through his luscious curls. "I promise I will never look at you like anything but a star struck fan," I whispered in his ear.
"That's why I love you nurse Jones."
"Ugh, please don't call me that. It's so...formal. Bekah will do just fine."
"So, Bekah...how's your football team? Steelers any good?"
"I have no idea, I'm a Cowboys fan."
"They haven't been the same since Aikman retired," we both said in unison, then laughed hysterically.
"If you tell me you like Nascar and hockey I will declare my undying love for you right now."
"I adored Dale Earnhardt may he rest in peace and love Tony Stewart. Hockey is kind of a passion of mine. I am a Pens girl all the way."
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! God has created the perfect woman! Marry me Bekah Jones!"
"Stop screwing around and let me do my job please."
He settled down a little and let me continue what I needed to do.
"So the Pens huh? I will never admit that I said this cause I'd get the shit kicked out of me but I am a big fan of Crosby's. That guy is amazing."
"I'm a fan too and don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
"Ever go to any games?"
"I have season tickets."
"Are you freakin' serious?"
"Hey mister, watch your mouth."
"Sorry. Have you ever met any of them, the Pens I mean?"
"One or two."
"Who?"
"I've met Mario before and Max Talbot."
"Talbot, that guy's an animal. He cracks me up."
"You have no idea," I said shaking my head. "Now enough with the questions. You need to rest. I'll be back in a bit to check on you okay? Do you need anything before I go?"
"You could kiss me goodbye?"
"Relentless," I said giving a kiss on top of his head.
"Hey, think I'll get to meet any of the Pens?"
I smiled at him. "You never know when you'll see a penguin waddling by."





Max was spending every free minute he had with us. I knew he was trying to fill up his time because he was still hurting, and as much as I loved having him there to listen to me bitch about my day, I wished it was Sid.
It was the night before the start of the regular season. The Pens started out at home and Sid managed to find a few hours to squeeze me in. Snuggled up on the couch trying to watch a movie, it was the time I had been so desperately craving.

"You remember me telling you about that patient of mine Sam?" I asked him.
"Sam? Doesn't ring a bell."
"The football kid from Georgia who is secretly a hockey fan?"
"Sorry babe."
"Well, he's 16 and just the most amazing kid you'll ever meet. He's already being scouted by every major college in the country and he's a real sweetheart. Anyways, we were talking about Pittsburgh's sports teams and he happened to mention he was a big Pens fan and a big fan of yours, so I was hoping... maybe...you'd have few minutes to stop by and meet him, maybe spend a few minutes with him?"
"You know all that stuff goes through the public relations department. You could check with Gina, see when and if I'm available."
"Are you kidding? I'm talking about ten minutes here; just pop in and say hi, shoot the shit for a few minutes and make the kid's day."
"I can't promise anything. You know better than anyone how jammed my schedule is and now that the season is starting, it's going to get worse. I'd be happy to do it Beks, but it will have to go through the department. I can't just show up at a hospital."
"Yes you can, you've popped in just to say hi or have a cup of coffee with me?"
"That's different. I'm hidden when I do that."
"Forget about it, just pretend I didn't ask," I said putting my head back down in his lap.
"Now you're mad."
"I'm not mad; just...disappointed."
"I'm sorry, I just can't make that kind of promise right now."
"I said forget about it okay. It's late and I'm beat; I'm sure you need to get home to bed too. Why don't we call it a night?"
He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not leaving if you're mad at me."
"I told you I'm not mad."
"Yes you are."
"Sid, I am not going to argue about this, just get going okay? I'll see you tomorrow night after the game."
I walked him to the door and kissed him goodnight.
"I love you," he stressed before opening the door.
"I love you too. Good luck tomorrow night."

When he was gone I plunked myself down on the couch.
'Get used to it,' I told myself. 'This is just the beginning.'
Even though I knew it was going to be this way, it still made me angry. It was one thing to not have the time to spend with me, but I was only asking him for a lousy ten minutes to make the day of a kid who probably wouldn't make it to his next birthday and that burned my ass!
Without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and dialed.
the voice on the other end was gruff and a little groggy.
"Can you come over?" I asked.
"Be there in ten."
"Thanks Maxie."

Chapter 105

Sorry this chapter is a long one but it's kind of a filler with alot of background info that will be important in the future. Happy reading!


The rest of August was like being in the middle of a really vivid dream that you just can't remember when you wake up.

The boys had the time of their lives with Taylor, spending their days playing hockey or out on the water. I had to pinch myself every so often to make sure it was real. Trina and I were getting very close; and even though I was closer in age to her than I was to Sidney, she was like the mother I never had; the mother I longed to have. And as for the men...Troy was developing quite the bond himself with the boys. Personally I thought he saw them as two more little hockey prodigies; not anywhere near the the caliber of saint Sidney, but prodigies none the less. We were like this happy little...dare I say family, and most days it made my heart melt. This was what it was like to be part of a family who loved you. This was what my boys had missed out on their entire lives...aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. But there were also days that it made me sad that my own "parents" were missing out on the lives of these two incredible children. And it pissed me off that they had no idea that the daughter they said would never amount to anything but a "pathetic welfare mom" had carved out this wonderful life for herself and her children.
Trina and I were sitting on the back deck one night watching Sid and Troy play touch football with the kids and we somehow got talking about my so-called family. I was more than happy to share stories about my brother and my grandmother, but when it came to the parental units I really didn't want to say anything. Yes, I had told Lily and Max and Sid about my parents but I had never told them everything and I had never let the full extent of my hurt and anger show. There was just something about Trina's face and her warm and caring manner that made me feel like I could tell her everything. I told her how cold my father was; always buried in his work, late nights at the office, long business trips, not interested in anything but his next acquisition. He didn't marry for love, he married to acquire status. He had grown up modestly and worked all through high school so he could go to college and get away from his own parents. His dad was always unemployed and spent most of his time in bars and going home with whatever sucker he could lure in for the night while his dutiful and loyal mother stayed at home with her son waiting for her husband to come home. James (my father) had zero respect for either of his parents; his father for running around on his mother and his mother for being a door mat and letting his father walk all over her. He swore once he left he would forget about his low life parents and never look back.
He met Janine (my mother) in college. She was the debutante who wore dresses and pearls to every class, she would not be caught dead in pants. "Pants are for low-class trashy girls who can't afford to dress like young ladies" she would say to me. Imagine her disappointment when she had a tom-boy as a daughter! Imagine her outrage when her own mother bought that daughter more pants than she could ever wear in a life time. That was the love-hate relationship between Grandma Kate and her daughter. James knew that Janine was the one he needed to latch on to. Great bloodlines, country club membership, summer houses, and money. All things he didn't have but would sell his soul to get. And that he did! Immediately after graduation they had married and James was able to start his business with the hefty sum of money his new father-in-law had given him as a wedding gift. And so it began. A loveless marriage maintained solely for the purpose of appearances. When my mother had complications after giving birth to David, she was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children. That was unacceptable for the image of the perfect family. It took a few years, but then they adopted me.
Life was like you see in the movies; four people putting on a show when in public, but in the privacy of their own home, they were merely four people existing under the same roof, paths never crossing, no one ever speaking. Without David and Gram, life would have been unbearable. That's why I ran wild after they both died; for survival and sanity. My mother was a raging alcoholic disguised under the pretense of being a social drinker (which is why she 'socialized' at the club every night) and my father carried on not showing any interest in anything but work until one day that changed. He began to show interest in something other than work...he was interested in me. I couldn't understand why all of a sudden he cared about everything I did; who my friends were, my school activities, it was bizarre. But it was the attention I had longed for all my life and I was happy I was finally getting it.
This only gave my mother more reason to hate me. She was jealous that my father was paying so much attention to me and not her. I certainly took advantage of it too; rubbing it in every chance I got. One night, after my mother had passed out, that attention became a little more than I had bargained for.
He came to my room after I was asleep. I was woken up when his hands touched my breasts and moved down between my legs. I screamed at him and he quickly put his hand over my mouth and told me to hush. I cried as he began to unbuckle his belt, all the while telling me he knew I wanted it and it was okay because we weren't really blood related. As he was about to force himself inside me, I reached for the stone bookend on my head board and struck him over the head with it. He screamed out it pain and I bolted out of my bed and over to the other side of the room. I picked up the phone and threatened to call the police. When he laughed at me and practically dared me to do it I was furious.
"Go ahead you little bitch, call the police. Who do you think they'll believe...a little whore like you or a well respected, financially generous member of society like me?"
As he started moving towards me I knew I had to change my tactic. I grabbed the antique letter opener that had belonged to my grandmother off my desk and pointed at this throat.
"If you ever touch me again I will kill you!" I threatened.
"You don't have it in you," he laughed at me.
"Oh no? Try me."
He came towards me and tried to grab me by the shoulders when I lunged at him. I stabbed him in the arm and he yelled out in pain once again.
"You little bitch!"
"Get the fuck away from me now!" I screamed at him, "Or I swear, next time it will be in your heart."
"You ungrateful little bitch! After all I've done for you. Adopting you was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have known better than to take something no one else wanted!"
"Get out before I put this thing right through your heart," I said again.
"You will regret this you little bitch," he spat before storming out of the room.
I cried the whole time I was throwing clothes into a bag. I was not staying there a second longer than I needed to. I had no idea where I found the strength to stand up to him; all I knew was I had to. I had to protect the baby I was carrying. I moved in with Jeff's family that night.
Trina and I were both in tears by the time I had finished the story. After all this time I was still embarrassed and ashamed. I begged her not to tell Sidney. She promised that my secret was safe with her and wrapped me in a motherly hug.
"It's time to put the past behind you and move forward honey," she said. "You have us now. We're your family now."
Such a burden was lifted from my shoulders that night, and not another word was ever spoken about it.

Then there was crazy cousin Max. He stayed in Nova Scotia with us for a few weeks to relax and clear his head. He put on a really good show that the whole deal with the bimbo wasn't bothering him, but every now and then he let a little something show, or a little something slip out that only I picked up on that told me he was hurting inside. Sidney made sure to take the kids out so Max and I could spend some quality time together. We both appreciated it and it gave us a chance to become even closer.

The rest of the time Sidney and I spent with the architect, the contractors and the interior designers working out the details of the renovations to the new house. Sid was adamant that I be part of every decision.
"I want this house to be part of you too. I want to be able to feel your presence when I look at the chair you picked out or the art you hung on the wall. This place is for all of us. I think the boys should be able to help design their rooms too. Pick out the paint colour and all that stuff."
I never thought in a million years I would be part of designing a million dollar summer home that in theory I would someday be sharing with the most perfect man on the planet. I could not believe how lucky I was.

On our last night in Nova Scotia we had a huge family dinner at his parent's house. Everyone shed a few tears when we were getting ready to leave. We were going to stay at the house one last time before the work started on it. The next time we came back, Sid (and I) would have our dream house on the lake. He hugged and kissed his grandmothers and promised to behave back in Pittsburgh. The boys begged to stay at the Crosby's with Taylor since it was the last night here. Troy and Trina practically begged us to let them stay too. Once all the goodbyes were said, Sidney and I headed for the 'lake house' as we affectionately called it.

After making love one last time where it had all started, Sidney and I laid in bed with nothing but the sound of the crickets chirping in the background.
"I wish I could bottle this feeling so I could have it forever," he whispered placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I don't want this to end."
"Neither do I. You have given me the most perfect summer; I don't know how I can ever thank you for these memories."
"You don't need to thank me. But I want you to hold on to these memories and think back to these days when we go back to the Burgh, because when we go back everything will change."
"I know," I sighed. "Then I go back to sharing you with an entire city and an entire legion of female fans throwing themselves at you. Good times!"
"I know it sucks baby and I know it's going to be hard keeping our relationship a secret, but we'll be okay as long as you remember that I love you; I want to be with you and nobody else; and we remember the time we spent here, where it was just Bekah and Sid and Jake and Alex. Deal"
"You drive a hard bargain Mr. Crosby, but you got yourself a deal. I know we're not going to have the ideal relationship, and I understand why we have to keep it a secret, but it doesn't mean I have to like it! I will do it because I love you and it's important for you but I hate the idea of not being able to shout from the rooftops that I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world."
"You need to be prepared for everything you're going to hear and everything you're going to read. There will be stories based on part truths and there will be out and out lies. They will speculate about my personal life and if I'm so much as seen in a room with a girl, there will be stories that I'm dating her."
"Sid, I know all this already."
"I know we've talked about it before, but talking about it and living it every day is totally different. It's hard Beks and I just want you to really know what you're getting into."
"I get it Sid. I'm ready, I promise. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters," I said kissing him sweetly on the lips.
"I hope you're right baby."
"I am. Let's not worry about it tonight okay? I want our last night here to be as special as our first was."
"I think I can make that happen," he smirked rolling over on top of me. "Can you promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"Don't ever google Sidney Crosby's girlfriend okay?"

I'm still alive!

Yes, it's true! I have not dropped off the face of the earth. It's just the same old song and dance; caught up in life and school. Just finished 3 massive assignments that were all due on the same day thank you very much! What a sense of relief. And although it sucks for my personal sanity and for you readers, I promised myself I wouldn't and resisted the urge to write until they were done. Updating both my stories will be my reward for staying focused and getting them done. I hope to have updates soon (by the end of the week at the latest) so please bare with me!
On a bit of a happier note, turns out my budding hockey super star is also a budding baseball star too! He is tearing it up on the diamond and his team is undefeated so far! I am so proud of him. My oldest's team is not as fortunate but he is playing really well and I am equally proud of him for handling his defeats with grace and dignity! That being said, give me a cold arena over the hot, humid baseball diamond any day! Is it October yet?
I know I say this alot but thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me and this story. Your loyalty means the world and so do your comments!
Love you guys!
~B~

Chapter 104

I took a deep breath before knocking on the door; trying to prepare myself for the mess I was about to walk into.
knock knock knock
"Bon matin bijou! Come on in. Where's Sid? Do you want to go get some breakfast?"
"Max?" I said hesitantly. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean? Nothing's going on. Are we gettin' some breakfast or what, I'm starving!"
"Max, just stop," I demanded grabbing him by the arm. "You're going a hundred miles an hour in this fake happy mode and you just need to stop. Sit down and talk to me a minute would you?"
"What do you want to talk about?" he asked sitting across from me at the small table in his room.
"Seriously? Max it's me you're talking to. ALOT happened last night; I figured you'd want to talk about it."
"Nope, I'm good. Can we eat?" he said getting up and grabbing the door knob.
"MAXIME TALBOT SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THIS CHAIR NOW!"

Max did as instructed. He had never heard Bekah like that before and he sure in the hell wasn't going to piss her off anymore.

"Thank you. Now, I know you must be heartbroken after what happened last night so just talk to me."
"I don't know why you're pushing this Beks; you never liked her anyways."
"No I didn't, but I love you and it's you that I'm worried about."
"No worries bijou. I'm fine."
"You promised me you would never lie to me."
"What do you want me to say? You were right? I thought I could be in love with her and she ripped my heart out?"
"Yes! Because that's the truth!"
"But it's not. That person I thought I was in love with doesn't exist. She was a lie and a liar. It just proves that I need to stick with my original theory."
"And what theory is that?"
"Never fall in love. If you don't give your heart to anyone, they can't break it. The old Max is back baby. Hot girls, lots of no strings attached sex; that's the life baby!"
"That's ridiculous and disgusting and no way to live your life Max. You have to keep yourself open to falling in love again."
"Oh, like you did? That's the pot calling the kettle black don't ya think?"
"Exactly! I can tell you how stupid it is because I made the same stupid mistake. Look at everything I was missing out on. I can't get those years back Max, and I don't want to see you miss out on love because you have this stupid theory. There are alot of great girls out there and someone is going to fall in love with you for the incredible person you are. I did."
"You're...in love with me?"
"I just meant that despite you're crusty exterior and disgusting views on women and your man whore tendencies, I am still able to find the good, kind, funny, loyal, put everybody else before yourself, and yes, occasionally sexy sides of you and that's why I love you. I would not be living this amazing life without you and I just want you to have the same kind of joy and love that I have."
"But I will. I have you and the boys for all that mushy love, emotional family feel good stuff plus I will be having as much nasty sex as I want. What could be better?"

I just shook my head. I knew I was defeated and there was no point in arguing any further.

"I'm not going to win this one am I?"
"Nope. Can we eat now?"
"Fine."



"So where's the kid this morning?" Max asked in the car on the way to where else; Timmies.
"At his parents' house. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see him or not."
"I'm fine. Really. I know it wasn't his fault. Where are the boys?"
"They're there too. They spent the night there."
"And were did you spend the night?"
"That's none of your business."
"Come on, cheer me up!"
"I thought you said you were fine."
"I am, just spill it."
"Sid and I spent the night at his new house."
"Oh my God! The kid finally got laid!!" he screamed.
"Max!"
"Oh my God! So did you!" he said a little quieter. "How was it?"
"That is wrong on so many levels Max. Do you honestly expect me to tell you details about my sex life with Sid?"
"That's what we do girl. Did you think that locker room talk was a myth?"
"I was hoping."
"Well, you don't need to worry. The kid would never spill his guts, so anything we say about your sex life will be purely made up by us."
"Max, I would hope as my best friend you would defend my honour and dignity and not allow any kind of talk about my sex life to happen."
"You know I will bijou. But as your best friend, I want to know how you're doing. You don't have to give me details but I know this was a big step for you; for both of you. Was it everything you hoped it would be?"
"Maxie, it was so much more than I could have ever imagined. So perfect I could never have dreamed it."
"I would expect nothing less from the kid."

We drove the rest of the way in silence. I was about to get out of the car when Max placed his hand on my arm stopping me from moving.

"Can I ask you something bijou?"
"Anything."
"Do you really think there's one girl out there who's going to fall in love with me for me?"
"Without a doubt."
"Will she be as amazing as you are?"
"That's highly unlikely. There is no one as amazing as I am," I replied jokingly. "But she will be perfect for you."
"One more question?"
"I thought you were starving?" I teased.
"It's important."
"Ok, shoot."
"Are you happy? I mean truly happy. Does Sid make you happy?"
"That's three questions I think."
"Does Sidney make you happy?"
The ever present glimmer in his blue eyes was gone; replaced by...I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
"Yes Maxie. Sidney makes me happy."
He kissed the back of my hand and gave a half smile.
"Then I'm happy too."

Chapter 103

I AM FREE! Semester over...I AM FREE (for three weeks at least!) Updates here I come!
Sorry guys, this chapter isn't really what I wanted it to be but...such is life!

"What...? Are you...? Oh my god," I said sitting straight up in bed. "Are you asking me...are you asking me what it sounds like you're asking me?"

"Well, what would you think if I was?"

"I would think you've completely lost your mind!" I screeched jumping out of the bed and throwing on shorts and a t-shirt. "I'd say you're just a kid and you have no clue about what the implications of that question could be," I finished heading out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen.

He heard the cupboard doors slamming and peeked around the corner to see if it was safe to enter.
"Hey," he said slowly coming towards me.
"Do you not have any fucking coffee in this place!" I yelled opening and slamming yet another cupboard door.
"I told you this place was really inhabitable yet and there's a Tim Hortons just up the road."
"Oooooh, Tim Hortons! I miss Timmies..." I trailed off almost forgetting what sent me on my coffee rampage in the first place.

Sidney came closer to me and took my hands in his. "You're shaking," he said.
"Well, what do you expect!"
"Too be honest? Not the reaction I got."

I let out a huge sigh like my whole body was deflating and slid down the cupboard and sat cross-legged on the floor holding my head in my hands.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "But for god sake Sidney..."
He joined me on the floor before saying "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. Please don't take this the wrong way but, I'm not asking you to marry me..."
"Seriously?" I popped my head up.
"Seriously," he half laughed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed...hard!
"Well, I certainly never thought a woman would be so excited not to have me ask her to marry me," he giggled.
"I'm just relieved. I had no idea how I was going to tell you no. We're just barely a couple; we haven't really been a couple together in the same city. I love you, but we need to figure out how to be together and keep it private before we even consider taking a bigger step. Let's just enjoy being together for a while."
"Agreed. Look, last night was really emotional for me..."
"A side of you I love by the way," I interrupted.
"One that hopefully you won't see for a long time. Anyways, I didn't know how to feel what I was feeling let alone put it into words. I just wanted you to know that I didn't take last night lightly. I am so in love with you Beks...I wanted you to know that I am 100% committed to this relationship. It's not a casual thing for me and I'm not going anywhere."
"Wow. That was pretty heavy for first thing in the morning, especially with no coffee."
"You just can't resist the sarcasm can you? I'm pouring my heart out and your making wisecracks. Nice."
"But that's what you love about me right?" I said in my best sexy pouty voice and sliding over and nipping at his ear.
"One of the many things," he moaned in a deep lusty growl.
I climbed on his lap facing him and wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I kissed my way from his ear down his jaw and up to his lips. Mmmm those lips!
"What can I do to make you forgive me?" I whispered in his ear.
"You're doin' it baby," he groaned as he ran his hands up my back.
"Whatya say to round three?"
"I'd say I think I've unleashed a monster."
"I just wanna make sure you don't loose that legendary stamina you claim to have over the summer. Think you can keep up to me Crosby?"
"Oh, I think I can find a way!"


Two hours later I was in the shower barely able to stand up. Who the hell was I kidding? Could he keep up with me? I must admit, I put up a very good front but made a mental note to self: start working out again!

I was towel drying my hair when the most heavenly scent tickled my nose.
"For you madame," Sid said handing me the familiar brown cup.
"Oh-my-god! Is that? French vanilla? Mmmmm. I have missed you so very much," I said taking a sip of the nectar of the gods!
"I sure hope I get that reaction when I come home from a road trip!"
"We'll see," I smiled coyly.
"So what do you want to do today?" he asked.
"There's one thing I have to do before we do anything else."
"What's that?"
"I need to find Max and make sure he's okay. He's taking this Brittany thing way harder than I thought he would."
"I know he refused to stay at my parents' house. I think he still went to the hotel. We can go as soon as you're done."
"No offense hun, but maybe it would be better if I did this on my own. I know none of what happened is your fault but who knows how Max is going to feel. I'm sure he doesn't need any visual reminders right now."
"Yeah, you're right. How 'bout you drop me off at my parents and then head over to the hotel and see what you can do. Maybe you can convince Max to stay up here with us for a few days. The rest and relaxation will do him good."
"I don't know. I just have a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach."
"Bad feeling about what?"
"I have a feeling he's going to self destruct, and I'm going to do everything I can to stop it."

Just a Quick Note

Hello all,
Just a quick note to say, I haven't disappeared but my life has been crazy busy lately. I am in the midst of completing final projects and writing final exams for this semester (6 days left and counting!) so that has been taking up every second of my free (writing) time; not to mention basketball practices and games and baseball practices I'm trying to get two boys to because my wonderful husband is now working out of town and is only home on weekends! I AM A SUPERWOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR! (Praise to single mothers/parents everywhere who do this everyday!)
On top of that I've just recently had three children added to the group I care for and all three are EXTREMELY high needs either developmentally or behaviourally. I love them all to death, but the other day when two of the three were away, I realized just how much energy they suck out of me on a daily basis. I am mentally exhausted most days! I wouldn't have it any other way though, after all, this is the career I chose and the reason I'm going through all this masters agony!
For the record, I am not complaining! I am extremely lucky and have a very blessed life. I do not for one second take it for granted!
I hope to have updates for both my stories up within a week; I am desperately craving the need to write and release the pent up ideas my mind has for Sid and Bekah and Kris and Brie and I fear if this release does not happen soon, my brain will explode!
I know I've said this before, but I can't say it enough; thank you to all the loyal readers for sticking with me. You are loved and appreciated.
Cheers!
~B~

Chapter 102

-----------Sidney's POV-------------

I couldn't sleep.

I don't understand what's happening to me right now. I'm laying in my own bed, in my own house, with the most beautiful angel in my arms and I am so overcome with emotion I don't know what to do or how to deal with it. I was not a emotional person; hell I am notorious for being unemotional - almost "robotic", but right here, right now, my feelings were so overwhelming I had to let them out.

I slid out of bed carefully so I didn't wake Bekah up. God she was beautiful! I could just watch her sleep all night; the way her hair fell on the pillow framing her face; the way her lips slightly parted and pursed outward like she was pouting; the way she wrinkled her nose when she was dreaming; the content little sigh she let out whenever she moved or rolled over. God damn I am so in love with her!

I made my way into the bathroom and shut the door, put my hands on the counter and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was shocked by what was staring back at me. It was no longer the reflection of a kid obsessed with hockey and making his parents happy; or the guy who had the weight of the entire hockey world on his shoulders; or the media darling who could never say no to an interview. No, looking back at me tonight was a man. A man who for the first time in his life had something other than hockey to think about. A man so unbelievably happy and so in love with the woman asleep in his bed that he didn't know how to cope.

I lowered my head and began to sob uncontrollably. I tried to stop but I couldn't. Men don't cry! What the fuck is going on with me? The warm, soft hands around my waist scared the hell out of me.

"Sidney, what's wrong?" she asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

"Nothing," I replied standing up quickly forcing her to let go of me, but she came right back and put her arms around me. We were now looking at each other in the mirror but not saying a word. She kissed me softly across my bare back sending an electric sensation through my entire body, yet I still could not stop crying. Bekah moved out from behind me and leaned against the counter facing me. We didn't speak, she just rubbed her hand up and down my arm soothingly.

It seemed like an eternity until I was able to pull myself together. When I finally looked at her I noticed she was wearing nothing but one of my Pens t-shirts and it was no time before it was evident how much I liked what I was seeing. I moved so I was standing in front of her, lifted her up and stood between her legs. As I stood there, staring into her eyes, I could only think one thing...'I have to have her now!'

My mouth enveloped hers and I kissed her like my life depended on it. I ripped that shirt off over her head and let myself begin to ravage her.

"Sidney," she said breathlessly.

"Hmmm," I managed between nibbles.

"Tell me what you want," she whispered.

"I want you."

"No, tell me what you want," she demanded.

'This is it,' I thought. 'We did it right the first time, now the gloves are off. I have so much pent up emotion I need to let out.'

I kissed my way from her shoulder up her neck to her ear. I took her earlobe in my mouth. Ever so slowly I whispered, "I want to fuck you."

"Mmmm," she purred. "Then do it."

I pulled her to the edge of the counter and in one swift movement rammed my aching erection inside her.

I was laying with my head on her stomach enjoying the feeling of her fingers running through my hair. We were still naked and the sun was starting to come up over the lake.

"Sidney?"

"Mmhhmm?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Earlier?" she asked timidly.

"Oh. I just...I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions and I didn't really know what to do with that ya know? I'm just not used to loving anything but hockey and now..."

"And now what?"

"And now I have you and the boys. Beks, for the first time in my entire life, hockey isn't the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, it's you. I used to get lost in my own little world, usually thinking about how I can improve my shot or what I could have done better in the game the night before or who I have to go sit through another painful interview with. Now I'm wondering what you're doing, how many goals Alex scored in the game that I had to miss, what video game Jake is going to want me to play with him that night, how many babies you had to comfort while they got treatment, what we're going to have for dinner, what you're wearing! I just never loved anything more than hockey before."

"What are you saying Sidney?"

"I'm saying that the day I met you, my life changed forever. The first time you told me you loved me, I thought it couldn't get any better, but I was wrong. Making love to you last night was the best night of my life and giving ourselves to each other so completely only reassured me of one thing."

"And what would that be Crosby?"

"This is what I want my life to be. This is how I want to spend the rest of my life. With you."

Why I Can't Stand Red Wing Fans

After reading today's post over at Hockey For The Ladies, I decided to write this post.

I have always been on the wrong side when visiting Joe Louis Arena; last night was no exception.
As a long time Avalanche fan I have lived through the dreaded Detroit/Colorado rivalry, so what transpired last night was certainly not shocking to me. That being said, those ignorant fans took it to a whole new level that was really very disturbing to me as a fan of the game of hockey.

We all know how Sidney is often treated by the fans when going into visiting arenas. The not so merry tune of "Crosby sucks" ringing through the entire building. Last night was no exception. This chant rose through the building almost every five minutes or so. Can anyone say overkill? Yes, I get you don't like the guy 'cause he raised the cup in your building but get the fuck over it! I wish I could say that the jeers inspired our boy to do great things and score a couple goals like it usually does, but we all know this is not the case. It was evident by our boy's play that he was frustrated, but I was a little surprised that he let it show. Now I'm a big girl and I understand that this is part of the game, and if it had of stopped at the chant, I would not be writing this post.

Sadly the fans also felt the need to call our Sid some extremely vulgar and degrading names; and I'm not talking Cindy Crybaby here. The names were so vile that they do not bear repeating. It disturbs me that grown men and women felt the need to sceam such vulgar things to a 22 year old kid; but he's a big boy, he can take it. What was the most disturbing to me was the thousands of children; very young children who had to witness such displays of vulgarity and poor sportsmanship. I was appalled that these "fans" let their hatred manifest itself in such a way that young, innocent children were caught in the crossfire. In my section alone, four people were escorted out for their language and I say "good for you" to those of you had the balls to complain to protect your children.

When the game was over and the refs (don't even get me started on the job, or lack of it that they did) were escorting the players to their benches after Sid's little scrum, people in the stands were actually throwing garbage at the players still on the Pittsburgh bench and out on the ice. There's only one word I can think of to describe this display: pathetic! IT'S A GAME PEOPLE! GET OVER YOURSELVES!

I can honestly say that I was ashamed to be a hockey fan last night because of the way these people who call themselves fans of the game were acting. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

And just to be fair, (because that's what good sportmanship is all about) I will say this: not all fans were this bad. I actually had a very nice conversation with a few Wings fans while I was waiting for my husband. They actually felt the same way I did and thought it was ridiculous some of the things that were happening last night. One even said, "I don't know why they're raggin' on Crosby; he's a great player. If they want to be pissed, they should be yelling at Talbot, he's the one that won that game!" Well said Brian!

Now that my little rant is over I would like to share this story:

This is actually how I knew Sid was not on his game last night.
They were getting ready for a face off in the corner I was sitting in and they were still waiting to come back from a commercial. All the Pens were in their place waiting for Detroit to get ready. Sid was hunched over and intently focused on what he needed to do; or so I thought. I was watching him, amazed (as always) at his focus when he actually lookd up and right at me. He was looking right in my eyes; and I was looking right in his. I was mezmerized! I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. My husband said "Is Sidney Crosby looking at you?" to which I had no reply. What could I say? "Yes the most notoriously focused guy in hockey felt like taking a break and is indeed staring at me"? OF COURSE NOT! He wasn't looking at me. He couldn't be looking at me right? After all, he doesn't do that. He 's just looking up; probably just staring into space. People do that all the time right? I do. I stare off into space, not really looking at anything in particular. Sidney Crosby is focused and intense end of story. I got my answer when I smiled at my husband's question. He smiled (that crooked little half grin) back! Sidney Crosby smiled at me!
Now I want to get one thing straight. I am not telling you all this to say "Oooo he looked at me; he smiled at me; that must mean he thinks I'm cute!" NO NO NO NO NO! As a matter of fact, I can say with much certainty that never in a million years would Sidney Crosby ever think I was cute. I'm telling you this for one reason only; to let you know he is human. Sid is always being accused of being a robot with the media and I have actually experienced a bit of him being human and wanted to share it. That being said, he is always being described as focussed and intense and after that little moment last night, I can say how true it is! The intesity in his eyes when we were looking at each other actually sent chills down my spine. Intense is not the word for that boy! He is beyond intense! I have never experienced anything like that before; it was amazing! For a brief moment it was almost like I could see what he was thinking. Bizarre; amazing; intense; weird; WOW!

Anyhoo...enough rambling! I just wanted to share these tidbits with y'all. Hope you enjoyed!

Sid, my love and admiration for you runs deep; even more so now. Keep your chin up kid!

Red Wing fans, I've already wasted too much time and energy on you and you're really not worth it. But I will leave you with these two words: Grow up!

Much love,
~B~