Chapter 122

Christmas had been horrible for him. Spending the day with his family and the Lemieuxs, laughing opening presents, everyone gathered in the kitchen preparing the feast they were all going to consume; everyone happy; everyone together. Yes it was exactly how he had imagined it, except for one thing. Bekah wasn't there. She wasn't there, the boys weren't there getting spoiled and he was miserable.
He was happy they had a short holiday break - they played the next night and he was hopeful that she would be there.

They day flew by. Morning skate, lunch, pre-game nap, back to the arena to start the familiar rituals of getting game ready. This was the only thing that had kept him sane for the past month; his comfort zone. This...this way of life was the only way he knew. Anything other than this, well, quite frankly it scared the shit out of him. He knew that now. His whole life had been dedicated to living this dream; being the best, playing in the NHL. He was groomed to be the 'face of the league' and anything that threatened this 'life' he was living...let's just say there was no room for it. Wasn't any room for it. Until now.

Bekah was right. He wasn't fair to her. He treated her like every other goal he had in his life. He wanted her and he wasn't going to stop until he got her. And he did. But once he did, he didn't know what to do with her. He loved her; God knows he loved her, but he had no idea how to love her. He had no idea how to love anything but hockey. Sure, he had said all the right things but the old saying was true; actions speak louder than words and his actions certainly didn't portray love or balance or even a willingness to try to balance love and his career. He knew this now, a little late but better late than never right?

He thought about her as he stood by the bench taping his sticks. How she made him feel. Loved - not like family loved you, but like a partner and equal. Respected - not for his hockey skills but for who he was as a person, not the public person but the guy who sat on her couch eating popcorn and watching movies. Vulnerable - she was the only person he could truly be himself around. She saw sides of him that no one, not even his teammates were allowed to see. She was the only one he would ever even dream of telling his inner-most thoughts to. Proud - to have such a beautiful woman inside and out by his side. Exhilarated and exhausted - she was tough and challenging; she challenged him to be better but never gave support or respect without making you fight for it. Lucky - that after everything she had been through in her life, she chose him to open up to and let in. That she let him be part of her intimate circle and more importantly that he was someone she allowed to be part of her children's lives.

He could probably spend the next three days thinking of all the ways she made him feel, but he had to focus. He went back to the locker room to get something to eat and 'get in the zone'. Most of the guys avoided any sort of small talk with him since he had been such a bear for the last month. There was the polite how was your Christmas, but they all knew not to go any further.

He looked for her during warm-up but didn't see her. Not unusual, if she was working she probably wouldn't get there until the first intermission. By the time the final buzzer went, he was deflated for more than one reason. He hated the Caps with a passion and losing to them on home ice never sat well with him. This was the kind of night that going home to her could melt all the pain away. But she wasn't here.
His media scrum lasted longer than everyone elses' as usual, and he did his best to give boring generic answers instead of yelling 'why do you think we lost you fucking idiot, we didn't score more goals than they did!' or 'no, I think Ovechkin is a fucking showboating caveman and I hope he drops off the face of the planet!' By the time he headed for the showers everyone else was almost ready to leave.
"Hey Talbo, what's your hurry?" Staalzy asked. "We goin' to Diesel?"
"Not tonight buddy, I have plans."
"You have plans? What's her name?"
"Like I'm gonna tell you Staalzy."
"Well does she have a friend I can mack on? They can meet us there."
"No can do, sorry."
"Holy shit, this girl must be something if you're turning down the hotness at Diesel," TK piped in.
"Talbo don't do special, he does hot and horny in the moment!"
"Thank you so much, some friends you are."
"Oh come on, it's not like you're a 'relationship' kinda guy there Max," Flower added.
"Later guys, have fun tonight eh," Max said on his way out the door.
"Hey Max wait up a minute," Sid said.
"Make it quick golden boy, I gotta go."
"How's Bekah doing? I mean, I assume you've talked to her. Is she doing okay?"
Max just shook his head and gave a half laugh.
"Have a good night Sid," and with that Max walked away.

He felt like a stalker. Parked a few houses down from hers, in the dark just after midnight. He had already been by the hospital and found her car in the parking garage so he knew she was working. He was just lucky her unit manager had a soft spot for him and was willing to pass along a little tidbit that Bekah would be done work around midnight. So he waited. Sure, it was a little unconventional, but he had spend the last two days rehearsing what he wanted, no, what he needed to say to her. He had gone above and beyond and crossed way more lines to get her and he needed a grand gesture to just get her to listen to him now. He had tried calling her and sending messages a few times over the past month, but she never answered or responded. He even called her Christmas day, hoping the memories of last Christmas would compel her to answer, but no. So this was it. He had practiced what he was going to say and had psyched himself up to do this tonight; it was now or never. So he waited.

It wasn't long before he saw headlights and her car turned into the driveway. He had to stop himself from jumping out of the car and running over to her; he didn't want to scare her. 'No. Wait until she gets inside.' he told himself. As her car door opened, so did her front door. She emerged from the car and a man emerged from the house. His heart began to beat so fast he swore he could hear it. This man began walking towards her. Wait a minute! He recognized that ugly sweater anywhere! It was Max and for a brief moment he was relieved. Relief was short lived. Were his eyes betraying him? Max took her bag from her and wrapped her in a hug.
'Okay calm down, it's just a hug, they are best friends' he told himself.
They started to move apart, but only slightly. Max put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. What he saw next made him sick to his stomach. Max's lips were on hers and she didn't stop it. He wasn't stupid. That was not just a friendly kiss.
He watched as they went in the house, arms around each other and once the door closed he finally exhaled. This was not happening. He was nauseous. He had never wanted to throw up so badly in his life. He couldn't move, only sit and stare at the front door  his teammate and the love of his life just went through. About 45 minutes later all the lights went out in the house. The house was in utter darkness and so was his heart. Those lights went out, but no one left the house.