Chapter 114

An early Christmas gift my lovelies!


"Oh my god, what happened to you?"
"Your boyfriend happened. Actually his right hook. I didn't even know the kid knew how to throw a punch!"
"Come in so we can get some ice on it."

Max followed me to the kitchen so I could grab an ice pack and put it on his now very bruised eye. He winced when the ice went on and I couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or because he was in pain.

"I can't believe Sidney did this, Max I'm sorry."
"So I'm guessing that the talk didn't go so well?" he chuckled.
"You could say that. It's over Max. I ended it."

The silence was heavy in the room.

"Wow...I...don't really know what to say. For real? You and the kid are done?"
"Mmm hmm. I just can't do it anymore Max. Yesterday was it for me. I told myself if he came through and showed up, then he was making an effort and we could work it out. But he didn't. He couldn't even pick up the phone Max," I managed through my now free flowing tears.

"Come here bijou," Max said taking me in a comforting embrace. "This is not what you really want is it?" he questioned.
"I don't know Max."
"Well I do. You love him yes?"
"Of course I do."
"Then you should work it out. Frankly I'm a little surprised bijou, it's not like you to give up on something. You are not a quitter."
"I know what you're trying to do with this reverse psychology bullshit and it's not going to work. And I'm not the one who quit. Sidney quit on this relationship a long time ago. I'm not going to try and fight for something that isn't there and I'm certainly not going to be his doormat anymore. I've been down that road and I'm not going back."
"This is hardly the same thing and you know it. Sid would never hurt you like that."
"Physically no, but emotionally is it any different? You know what this relationship has bee like Max; what am I supposed to do, just let it keep going the way it is? That's not fair; to me, Sid, or the boys."
"No, it doesn't have to stay the same. Make him work for it. Maybe him thinking he has lost you will be enough to scare him and he'll pull his head out of his ass. I think he at least deserves the chance to prove himself. If you give him that chance and he still fails, then it's on him. At least you will know that you've done everything possible to make it work."
"Why are you defending him after he did that to your face?"
"I'm not defending him, I'm protecting you. I know you don't really want to end this bijou. I know how much you love him; and I think my black eye is proof of how much he loves you."
"Or how barbaric he is."
"Bijou?"
"I don't know. I didn't just decide this in a split second Max; I've given it alot of thought. It's all I've been thinking about. I just don't see a happy ending in our future."

*********************************

He knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but he had decided a week ago that this was going to be the day, and if you could say one thing about him it was that he did what he said he was going to do.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Hey Lily. I'm here to see..."
"Well don't bother. She doesn't want to see you. Besides, she's not here," Lily snarled.
"I know," he said solemnly. "She's made that pretty clear by not returning any of my phone calls or messages."
"What do you expect Crosby? You didn't leave her much of a choice."
"I don't know. I guess I expected her to at least give me a chance to redeem myself."
"Well, she hasn't really found anything redeeming about you lately."
"Trust me Lily, I don't need to get the gears from you too okay. I know I'm an ass and I know I screwed up, unfortunately I think it's too late to do anything about it."

Lily soaked in the pitiful sight before her and for a brief moment, almost felt sorry for him...almost.

"Well, you look like shit."
"How do you expect me to look when I just lost the only girl I've ever loved?" he said calmly.
"Honestly? I figured you'd just move on with being 'Sidney Crosby'. I didn't think not having Bekah around would phase you much; it's really no different then when you were together."
"Okay Lily, I get it. I don't need you rubbing salt in the wound; it hurts, trust me."
"Fine, no more jabs."
"Thank you," Sidney sighed.

He'd gotten raked over the coals by just about everyone in his life over the past seven days. Seven days, nine hours and thirty-six minutes to be exact. The team, the wags, Nat and Mario, his mother, all four Lemieux kids, Taylor, his mother, Nat, his mother, Mario, and Nat. The only ones who didn't tell him what an ass he was and how he really screwed up was his dad and Max. Neither of them talked to him at all. When he hadn't heard from Bekah, he even resorted to apologizing to Max and asking him if she was okay.
Max hadn't responded; just snickered and walked away and Sidney didn't really blame him. He sure had got himself into quite a mess, and he wasn't sure how he was going to get out.

"So if you're not here to see Bekah, what are you doing here?" Lily asked snapping him out of his self-loathing.
"Umm, before everything happened, I told myself when we got back from the road trip I was going to come and meet Sam, so here I am."
"Now you're going to use the kid to try and get Bekah back? That's kinda low Crosby."
"It's not about her. I said I was going to do it and I don't back out. I'm doing this for Sam and for me."
"Not sure I believe you but, whatever floats your boat."
"I don't want to upset her anymore, that's why I came when she wasn't here. So can you just tell me where to find him?"

She looked at him suspiciously, not sure if she should let this happen, but here extremely well hidden soft side took over.
"Down this hall, last door on the left."
"Thanks Lily, I appreciate it."
Lily half smiled and left in the opposite direction.

********************************

"Hey Sammy, how's my favourite quarterback do...." she stopped dead in her tracks as she rounded the corner into Sam's room.
"Sidney, what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice barely audible.
"He came to see me! Me Bekah! Sidney Crosby came here to see me and if I wasn't so excited I would be really really mad at you."
"Mad at me? Why?"
"Sidney Crosby is the secret boyfriend you've been keeping from me?"
"I umm, he's umm..."
"It's not her fault," Sidney interjected. "It's mine. I made her promise not to tell anyone, so you can be mad at me."
"I would never be mad at you, you're Sidney Crosby!" Sam exclaimed.
"Oh thanks alot! Who's the one taking care of you here?"
"I'm not really mad at you, I just can't believe that you are actually Sidney Crosby's girlfriend! That is so awesome!"
"Well, I'm not actually his girlfriend anymore Sam."
"What!" Sam shrieked. "Are you crazy? Why not?"
"Sam, that's grown up stuff; and besides, it's none of your business," I scolded.
"Actually bud, that's my fault again."
"Ahh man. What did you do? Did you cheat?"
"No. It's not really what I did, but what I didn't do."
"Did you hurt her?"
"No."
"Forget her birthday?"
"No," Sidney kind of chuckled.
"So if you didn't cheat, and you didn't hurt her, and you didn't forget her birthday, I don't get it. Why isn't he your boyfriend anymore," he now directed at me.
"I am not having this conversation with you Sam."
"Don't you love him anymore?"
His question took me by surprise and from the look on Sidney's face, it surprised him too. That look of surprise was replaced with one of anticipation soon after.

And there it was. The question of the hour. A million things went through my mind in a split second. 'Do I still love him?' 'What do I do? Tell the truth? Lie? Both of them would see right through a lie.
"It wasn't a trick question Bekah. Do you love the guy or what?"
There were very few people who could make my heart melt with just a look, but two such people were starring into my soul waiting for an answer.
"Yes Sam, I love him very much."
"Do you love her Sid?"
"More than anything," he answered quickly.
"More that scoring a game winning goal?"
"Yes."
"More that scoring a hat trick?"
"Yes.
"More than playing hockey period?"
"Let call that one a tie," he tried to joke.
"Then what's the problem? You love him and he loves you so..."

Sidney got up from the chair beside Sam's bed and walked over to where I was standing.
"I'm miserable Beks. I miss you so much," he said quietly.

Again, two pairs of melt-your-heart eyes starring at me; anticipating what I was going to say.

"I miss you too Sidney."